Undecided

Hi,

He had 2 teeth out & his teeth cleaned, reading between the lines I don't think his time as a stray did his teeth any good. He's now recuperating & apparently loving his time inside!! Thanks for asking

Poor little man....glad to hear that he did well and is recovering. Hope he can come to his new home with you soon!

Hi folks,

I'm now having second thoughts about shadow, I would only be around for 10hrs each day so I'm not sure if that would be fair on him. He's a very independent cat & is definitely not a cat that likes cuddles. I'm just in two minds [emoji]9785[/emoji]️

wELL, IF HE FELL ASLEEP WITH HIS HEAD ON THE OTHER LADY'S CHEST, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HE LIKES CUDDLES TO ME.  sorry about the caps lock, i typed before I looked. 

I did have an out-of-the-box solution, maybe.  I'm not sure if you live close to the owner, or what hours she puts him out, but maybe you could SHARE him.  You could keep him at your house during the time she would put him out, and then she can take him in her house during the time you are away, assuming yu are away for work during the day.  That way he would always be inside, he would have two moms, just like people share custody of a child after a divorce.  Might that work?

flojo75 said:

Hi folks,

I'm now having second thoughts about shadow, I would only be around for 10hrs each day so I'm not sure if that would be fair on him. He's a very independent cat & is definitely not a cat that likes cuddles. I'm just in two minds [emoji]9785[/emoji]️

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I can understand your concerns-I had similar concerns prior to adopting my cat and have had the same off and on since adopting her. A good friend of mine, who is very expirenced with cats, points out every time that I worry that my girl is alone too much how loved and cared for she is: She is safe, well fed, warm, comfortable and has all a kitty needs. I take time each day to play with her and give her as much attention as I can when I'm home. When I'm not home, she has windows to look out, cat trees, toys and comfy napping spots. She displays no behaviors that indicate that she suffers from loneliness. I suspect that I project on her feelings/emotions that she just does not have because, like you, I want to give her the best life possible. But the reality is, before adopting her, she was living a life in a shelter, which is certainly NOT the best life possible for her. In fact, the changes in this cat over the past few years has been amazing: a shy, scared cat who had been in shelters most of her life is now a confident, loving, affectionate kitty who just bravely made her first walk outside on her harness!
I really do believe that if you provide for Shadow the things you have been planning to that he will not only be fine but he will blossom because he will not be forced outside or forced to defend himself from bullying cats (a life that is currently is NOT the best life possible for him).
I questioned my ability to give a cat a good home and I would have been devastated if it was a disaster. Because of this, I went for a long time without a doing it but I finally just took the plunge and the result has been the most lovely of relationships: not only has she grown but so have I[emoji]10084[/emoji]️

Hi folks,

Red top rescue, I live a hour away so that wouldn't work. When I mentioned that he fell asleep with his head on her chest, he has only ever done that twice & if she goes to him to stroke him he will go for her, it really is on his terms. He only sat with her asleep for an hour then got off her.

Hellomisskitty,

You make some really good points, the lady has said she thinks he would be fine & it would give him time to settle in, in his own time. I just don't want to see him displaying worrying behaviours because he would be left alone. I'm really undecided

At the end of the day, only you will know what you feel is best to do. Try not to let worry over not having what you feel is the "perfect" situation for Shadow. A lot of love and care is going to make up for whatever you feel is going to be missing and typically any negative behaviors that may come up can be remedied with relatively easy tweaks. I suspect that having his own home where he is the prince is way more "perfect" for him than his current home. He sounds very easy going and well behaved despite some very significant stressors in his current home so I don't see why a move to a more stable environment would change that.

Maybe you and the other lady can make this a trial period, where you foster him for a couple of weeks or so and see how it goes.  That way, if it doesn't work out, it isn't a failure, it's just a trial that didn't turn into an adoption.  Wouldn't that make it easier for all of you?

Red Top Rescue said:

Maybe you and the other lady can make this a trial period, where you foster him for a couple of weeks or so and see how it goes.  That way, if it doesn't work out, it isn't a failure, it's just a trial that didn't turn into an adoption.  Wouldn't that make it easier for all of you?

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Great suggestion!!

Yeah I've asked the lady if I could take him on a 2 week trial & she has agreed. She is such a lovely lady & really cares a lot for her cats, which is why she is getting rid of shadow because she knows his life with her & her cats isn't right for him

flojo75 said:

Yeah I've asked the lady if I could take him on a 2 week trial & she has agreed. She is such a lovely lady & really cares a lot for her cats, which is why she is getting rid of shadow because she knows his life with her & her cats isn't right for him

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I'm so glad that a trail period is a solution that makes you feel comfortable and I'm glad that his current owner is in agreement with the idea. A trial period takes the pressure off, for sure. I'll be hoping that you and Shadow get along well!

Hi hellomisskitty,

I value your opinion, do you think only being around for shadow for 10hrs is not enough??

flojo75 said:

Hi hellomisskitty,

I value your opinion, do you think only being around for shadow for 10hrs is not enough??

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I can only speak from my experience: During the week, I'm at work anywhere between 10-11 hours a day. I'm home for 4-5 hours (at the most) before I have to go to bed (I have a chronic pain condition so I need to get lots of rest). My girl does just fine with this situation. I have made sure she has as enriched of an environment as possible: trees/seats at most windows, a bird feeder at the biggest window, toys, scratching posts. When I'm home I give her lots of attention and always have a play session with her before I go to bed. Is this a perfect situation?? Maybe not but she seems to be a happy kitty. I've had no issues come up in five years that indicate otherwise.

Thanks, that's very interesting & some great advise

How long do you play with your cat for?

flojo75 said:

How long do you play with your cat for?

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That really depends on her. Most days, it's probably 15-20 minutes with something like this:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EYM5SWK/?tag=&tag=thecatsite

I really try to wear her out. If it's hot out, she may only play half that time. Some nights. It may take a little longer to wart her out, After play time, I'll feed her a big meal and then she is ready for bed too! She is used to this routine and looks forward to our play time. Many nights I'll also brush her for a few minutes as another way to bond with her.

flojo75 said:

Thanks, that's very interesting & some great advise

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Also to keep her busy while I'm at work, I leave some kibble in a puzzle feeder to keep her busy. Something like this:

https://www.radiofence.com/slimcat-interactive-feeder/?gclid=CL6GtNettc0CFQaUfgodhPUFbg

And I grow grass that she can eat in pots to bring a little of the outside in:

https://www.chewy.com/bellrock-grow...rs&utm_term=&gclid=CPyGloOutc0CFQdqfgod6C8KjA

Thanks, if you've got anymore reassuring advice please post it to me, it will really help

flojo75 said:

Thanks, if you've got anymore reassuring advice please post it to me, it will really help

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I think I can only say that due to my sometimes physical/ time limitations, like you I thought I could not give a pet of any sort a good home and that held me back from adopting a cat sooner (of course, if I had adopted sooner, I would not have found my kitty soulmate!). I do actively work to enrich her environment in order to help her feel secure and safe and to keep her active. I may not give her the "perfect" home but: she doesn't have stress as to when she is getting her next meal, she is safe from fights and predators, her litter box is always clean, she gets medical attention when needed and she is adored and loved every day. I've not encountered any behavioral issues since the day I adopted her.