I intend to post something on the "In Memory" page, but I wanted to post something here because so many of you have heard me tell stories about my beautiful feral, Muffin, and I wanted to let you know he passed today.
The past few days he developed some kind of infection in his mouth, probably an abscessed tooth, and was drooling and unable to eat though he struggled to eat. I was unable to get antibiotics in him. He was in a fetal position on my porch all night and seemed to be suffering. This morning, my neighbor and I were finally able to trap him. She dropped a blanket on him and we got him into a cat carrier. He was pretty ill, so it wasn't difficult.
We were so happy. After four and a half years of trying to catch trap-savvy Muffin to get him neutered, we got him. I was taking him to the ER vet and he was going to get his mouth cared for, his shots, blood work, and get neutered. I was so very happy.
I was driving to work this afternoon when I received the call from my vet that he tested positive for FIV. The vet was recommending euthanasia because he is an outdoor cat and would infect other cats. While they were working with him he was agitated and trying to bite them, so she concluded that he was a danger to people. I tried to explain that he's never been aggressive or unkind to any person, ever--but now he was scared and ill and in pain. She said they had him sedated and it would be my decision, but if I were to keep him, he'd need to live in a room by himself. I could never do that to him--he is a creature of the outdoors. She said he'd have a lot of suffering in his future with infections.
I felt put on the spot, and I made the decision to euthanize him. I've always intended to one day take him into my home and for him to be and indoor/outdoor cat--if he would allow. But I saw that possibility slip away. I asked her about vaccinating my other cats against FIV and she said there wasn't a vaccination for that. Well I know there is one, and I should have questioned her further about that. But I was in shock. I couldn't envision putting my other cats at risk, or him infecting other cats outside. And I didn't know what I would do the next time he'd get sick if I couldn't get him to the vet again or get antibiotics inside of him. I asked if I could be present while he was euthanized, and she said they did not want to awaken him out of sedation because he was so agitated. So I was not present when he passed.
I wish I hadn't asked for the SNAP test, that way I would never have known. I could have brought him home after the surgery and let him back outside. He could have had another few years. My neighbor and I feel we betrayed him by trapping him, and sending him to his death. But I couldn't have allowed him to die slowly from that infection on my porch.
I've taken care of Muffin for four and a half years. He's been my soul friend. He's listened to me during my darkest hours. He had offspring and brought them to me to care for three years ago. My neighbor and I adopted and socialized all of them. He was a loving papa cat, a true friend to the people on my block. I'm glad I have Harry, his son, who looks so much like him--and I will love him forever. I hope Muffin forgives me from beyond the grave because that was not how I wanted him to pass--with strange people and afraid. I pray he is at peace now.
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The past few days he developed some kind of infection in his mouth, probably an abscessed tooth, and was drooling and unable to eat though he struggled to eat. I was unable to get antibiotics in him. He was in a fetal position on my porch all night and seemed to be suffering. This morning, my neighbor and I were finally able to trap him. She dropped a blanket on him and we got him into a cat carrier. He was pretty ill, so it wasn't difficult.
We were so happy. After four and a half years of trying to catch trap-savvy Muffin to get him neutered, we got him. I was taking him to the ER vet and he was going to get his mouth cared for, his shots, blood work, and get neutered. I was so very happy.
I was driving to work this afternoon when I received the call from my vet that he tested positive for FIV. The vet was recommending euthanasia because he is an outdoor cat and would infect other cats. While they were working with him he was agitated and trying to bite them, so she concluded that he was a danger to people. I tried to explain that he's never been aggressive or unkind to any person, ever--but now he was scared and ill and in pain. She said they had him sedated and it would be my decision, but if I were to keep him, he'd need to live in a room by himself. I could never do that to him--he is a creature of the outdoors. She said he'd have a lot of suffering in his future with infections.
I felt put on the spot, and I made the decision to euthanize him. I've always intended to one day take him into my home and for him to be and indoor/outdoor cat--if he would allow. But I saw that possibility slip away. I asked her about vaccinating my other cats against FIV and she said there wasn't a vaccination for that. Well I know there is one, and I should have questioned her further about that. But I was in shock. I couldn't envision putting my other cats at risk, or him infecting other cats outside. And I didn't know what I would do the next time he'd get sick if I couldn't get him to the vet again or get antibiotics inside of him. I asked if I could be present while he was euthanized, and she said they did not want to awaken him out of sedation because he was so agitated. So I was not present when he passed.
I wish I hadn't asked for the SNAP test, that way I would never have known. I could have brought him home after the surgery and let him back outside. He could have had another few years. My neighbor and I feel we betrayed him by trapping him, and sending him to his death. But I couldn't have allowed him to die slowly from that infection on my porch.
I've taken care of Muffin for four and a half years. He's been my soul friend. He's listened to me during my darkest hours. He had offspring and brought them to me to care for three years ago. My neighbor and I adopted and socialized all of them. He was a loving papa cat, a true friend to the people on my block. I'm glad I have Harry, his son, who looks so much like him--and I will love him forever. I hope Muffin forgives me from beyond the grave because that was not how I wanted him to pass--with strange people and afraid. I pray he is at peace now.
View media item 214050