My Sweet Angel Baby Crossed the Rainbow Bridge 2/5/16

I know how much you loved that sweet boy, only equal to the pain you are now going through. This terrible journey through the grief process is one that we will all take, but it is not one we have to take alone. You are blessed to have people in your life that know what you are going through and are willing to help support and love you through it. And of course you have all the people here at this site that will be there for you too, it truly helps in such a time of need. Your precious Angel knew he was loved so very much, I pray he had a swift journey to the Rainbow Bridge where he is now free of pain and sorrow and is warmed on the lap of another angel who will love and protect him there. A member of the family who is so loved and so missed is blessed indeed, he is very secure in his place in your heart. I'll pray for you both, peace for him and healing for your heart. The bond you formed with that little boy can never be taken from you, take comfort in memories of happier times and try not to dwell on the end, it brings nothing but heartache. Take care of yourself, he would never want you to be so sad when you remember him, he loved you too much to bring you such pain. RIP sweet Angel, you received your wings to soar in the heavens, please comfort those you left behind with a kiss on the breeze, and a purr to soothe the pain in their hearts on a soft summer night!

I too cried many tears last week as I followed Angel's heart-breaking journey.  I'm crying again now, just thinking about it.

I did, however, just read the happy story of how Angel found you. And while looking through the pictures I saw the picture that I'll always think of when I see Angel's name mentioned in the future.  He was a proud, handsome and dignified cat, who clearly loved you as much as you loved him.


Rest in Peace, dear Angel.  And Angels mommy, I hope when the time is right, Angel will send you another feline friend for you love and care for. 

Kelly. I'm so sorry this was a battle Angel couldn't win, but the two of you gave your best. May he rest in peace and reside forever in your heart. Some day, hopefully in the near future, he'll lead another needy cat to you.

Kelly

I have spent many hours thinking about you two. I too have had eyes that started leaking every time I thought about the final sign of love that would break your heart as much as it has broken others hearts before you. I can't tell you enough how proud I am of you of how much you tried and loved him. You kept him loved. Fed. warm. Comfortable. Medication to help make him feel better. I read some of your earlier posts a few years ago. And the one thing that stuck out in my mind-is his playfulness-how he galloped around your house like a horse. I will always hold that memory of your words close to my heart. These cats of ours all have their own quirky ways. But I just wanted to thank you for allowing us to follow your path. And we all learned so much. Learned about love and the gift of each day. That sometimes comes to an end all too short.

As far as another furbaby. A few years ago I was also at the end of the road just like you are-I swore I would never adopt again-I still had two furbabies but that little girl of mine Flash just broke my heart in two and left me so fast despite all the help I got from the vets. It just wasn't enough. If love could cure it she would still be here with me. I swore after that I just wanted to be alone. And I was. In my grief. I was trapped. I didn't reach out. I just had to wait for time to do its thing no matter how much my heart broke.

Three months later I get a phone call from my friend asking about how to rehome a kitty that was dumped. Now its cold up here in January. And I went home that night and thought about a little calico kitty stuck sleeping underneath some bushes with snow 2 feet high. The next day I decided I had to go get her. I just couldn't live with myself no matter how much my heart was still broken over Flash's leaving. So that night I met my friend and we got her. She was a beautiful cat and kind of rough on the edges. She was jumping up on the lap of the old lady who let her come in her porch. She was feeding her but for whatever reason wouldn't keep her. I took her home that night.

While my friend drove to my house this cat howled so loud. I never heard such heartbreaking sounds. It sounded exactly as the ache in my heart. I kept saying to her "honey its ok" . I named her Honeybee, it just seemed right. We took her into our house. When she came out of her cage she didn't run or hide. Just sniffing all around..my heart melted slowly. And in the next month I learned that despite how much my heart was broken this special little orange girl with the white stripe on her face melted my frozen heart.

I really believe Flash sent her. I tried so hard to be strong. I tried to hide my pain from the world. And I guess my friends and family could see through the cloak of pain. And Honeybee even to this day continues to melt my frozen heart. I thank Flash for sending me another fluff ball to love. And I know Angel will do the same. They sit up there on the rainbow bridge plotting for new homes for those other kitties still here with us. So take heart Kelly. One day soon your heart will unfreeze and the pain will melt away. But for now feel the grief and don't run from it like I did.

Angel run free with the rest of our beloved animals. And Kelly we all know how much you loved your boy. And how hard this was. He loves you and forgives you. I know without a doubt.

              

I am so sorry for your loss.  Only being on the site here & there I did not see you other thread.  It is wonderful that so many people helped & supported you.  I, too, just had my one fur baby & putting him to sleep last Jan was the hardest thing I have ever done.  It took months for the pain to subside.  Now I sit here crying for your little lost loved one.  Take heart that they never really leave us & spend a great deal of their time watching over us. He knows you did your very best for him & that he was much loved.  I made a shrine for my departed kitty with his ashes, cards, collar, favorite bush, toys, picture, etc.  In the beginning I spent most evenings talking to him there in the light of a candle.  A year later the shrine is still on the mantle.

Don't worry about getting a new cat; one will show up when you are ready.  I ended up adopting only 6 weeks later & thought it was the worst disaster!  Now I think she is the very best little girl!

I love the picture of Angel with his red bow!  Rest in peace little kitty!

I believe Mercy was sent to us by Kitten. Because after trying to rationalize how she got into our home every other way nothing else makes sense. There is no reason we would have opened our home let alone our broken hearts unless she was supposed to be ours.

We never had a cat in the house before Kitten. never even considered it. One installed we were instantly enchanted and in love. I can no longer picture my home without cats.

Mercy is a blessing and a curse. She belongs with us. A fit that some days almost fills the missing pieces in our life while reminding us of what we lost each time we look at her. It doesn't change the fact we love that little fluffy hoodlum.

Keep an open heart and mind and I hope that special cat will find you. One thing I can pass on. Having Mercy made no difference in how intense the grief for Kitten's loss still is. Mercy is simply Mercy weaving herself into our lives. I had an intense sense of guilt when I brought Mercy home so soon.  Instead I now realize that loving another cat has nothing to do with how much we love Kitten.  It wouldn't and didn't matter 5 days later. 5 months later or longer.

The biggest mistake we could have made would have been ignoring the huge flashing neon signs and point arrows saying THIS ONE. 

Thank you all for all of your loving, & kind words. They have touched my heart. Your support has meant so much in this journey. I know you all understand, as most of you have been here before. 

I know it doesn't get easier, but this being my first time, was so hard.  Also, because he was my first, my one & only. ......Who turned out to be my soul kitty. With it just being the two of us, we had such a bond. 

I have a big heart, & he filled it everyday!!  He really did bring me joy everyday!

 @foxxycat,  Yes, sometimes the way he would "gallop" around the house, I just had to ask him if he was playing horsey, & was he a "horsey kitty?"    That's my silly boy, or as I sometimes called him, my silly monkey!

@kittensmom, I know your heart is still healing, so to open your home to another kitty is an act of love.

@LotsofFur, No, of course I don't mind, Thank you, it's beautiful!  

@Di and Bob, Thank you so much, you always say such beautiful things. Yes, one of the many things I told him when he was going, was that he could go be with Jesus now. I never said goodbye, I just told him he could go night, night now. 

@sivyaleah, Thank you so much. If I didn't do everything I could for him, I would have never forgave myself, & because of that, as hard as it was, I know I did. 

@Snugglecat, That is so sweet. Peaches could feel your heart, & wanted to be near you. Give her lots, & lots of kisses for me! 

@rubysmama, Thank you, that is one of my favorite pictures of him!  It took 10 shots to get that one, & of course, it was the last shot of the 10!  

Thank You ALL for your continued support!!          Today, while on here, I have also been watching some of The Kitten Bowl on the Hallmark channel. All the little cuties are making me smile. 

I also subscribe to Cole & Marmalade's channel' on YouTube. They are the best. I especially love that little Marm!! (I just want to kiss that little face of his!!)

 If you have never checked them out, I highly recommend it!  

Give all of your kitties big kisses & hugs for me!!

Thinking about you 

Walkingrock said:

 
Thinking about you 

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Thank You 

Just wanted to let you know you are still in my thoughts.  I am still sending you more hugs during this difficult time.  You truly did everything you could for Angel and his love will always live on in your heart.  Thank you for sharing your journey with us.  I agree that one day Angel will guide a new baby to you when you are ready.  I too wish our love for our fur babies could fix their problems but unfortunately life has other ideas.  I don't think any of us have ever been ready to say goodbye no matter how much we know it is time.  You were such a great mommy to Angel and hopefully that will still bring you some comfort during this difficult time.  Angel truly is your angel now.

catlover73 said:

 
Just wanted to let you know you are still in my thoughts.  I am still sending you more hugs during this difficult time.  You truly did everything you could for Angel and his love will always live on in your heart.  Thank you for sharing your journey with us.  I agree that one day Angel will guide a new baby to you when you are ready.  I too wish our love for our fur babies could fix their problems but unfortunately life has other ideas.  I don't think any of us have ever been ready to say goodbye no matter how much we know it is time.  You were such a great mommy to Angel and hopefully that will still bring you some comfort during this difficult time.  Angel truly is your angel now.

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Yes, he really is. Thank you.   

The story of how Angel adopted you is so beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss. RIP Angel.

Jenny82 said:

The story of how Angel adopted you is so beautiful. I'm sorry for your loss. RIP Angel.

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Thanks Jenny.  

Still thinking of you and Angel.  I miss him even though I never even met him, but he was such a presence here!  Sweet Angel - I hope you are rolling in grass and climbing trees in Paradise, in between keeping an eye on your mommy.      

Oh I am so sorry you lost your Angel... this thread brought me to tears. I know it has been a hard road recently as I peeked in your thread about his journey although I never commented. I recently lost my first cat to cancer as well, and I can tell you it has been very hard but it does get better with time...you must look after yourself and remember the best memories even though it may really hurt at first. If it helps, think of him running free in the sun now without any pain or fear watching over you and know you did all the right things for him. Hugs. 

Angels mommy said:

 
Thanks Jenny.

 

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I'm glad that you're back online. I hope you're doing well.  Sending you many hugs from all of us-  Lilith, Sophie, Henry and me. 

Angel was a very special boy and will never be forgotten   ​

sidneykitty said:

 
Oh I am so sorry you lost your Angel... this thread brought me to tears. I know it has been a hard road recently as I peeked in your thread about his journey although I never commented. I recently lost my first cat to cancer as well, and I can tell you it has been very hard but it does get better with time...you must look after yourself and remember the best memories even though it may really hurt at first. If it helps, think of him running free in the sun now without any pain or fear watching over you and know you did all the right things for him. Hugs. 

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Thank you. It means a lot from someone who has been through the same thing, recently as well. I am sorry for your loss too.      To you too!!

Kat0121 said:

 
I'm glad that you're back online. I hope you're doing well.  Sending you many hugs from all of us-  Lilith, Sophie, Henry and me. 

Angel was a very special boy and will never be forgotten 

 ​

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Thank you. Yup, I'm not going anywhere! Like I said, I have learned SO much from everyone here, & there have also been SO many that have been here for me over the years, If I can pass any of that knowledge on to help anyone else, I certainly will!  Besides, you have all become a part of my circle of friends & it would just feel weird to all of a sudden not have this site be part of my life. 

My hoodie is soaked with tears after reading this. I don't think I've cried this much since Lucky died. I am so, so sorry you lost him. There's just no good thing to say about any of this, other than he is no longer suffering. You were such a great mommy to him and while it is of very little comfort (believe me, I know) you not only did everything you could have done, but you went above and beyond what most people would have done.

I also want to say that when the time is right, you are going to make such a great mommy to another fur-baby. You will love him or her with all of your heart, because you don't know any other way. I also think it is so sweet what your mom does, sending you cards "from Angel". That is just so adorable. What a great mom you have. Sending her hugs too.

Ok, tears are clouding my vision again.

Donutte said:

My hoodie is soaked with tears after reading this. I don't think I've cried this much since Lucky died. I am so, so sorry you lost him. There's just no good thing to say about any of this, other than he is no longer suffering. You were such a great mommy to him and while it is of very little comfort (believe me, I know) you not only did everything you could have done, but you went above and beyond what most people would have done.

I also want to say that when the time is right, you are going to make such a great mommy to another fur-baby. You will love him or her with all of your heart, because you don't know any other way. I also think it is so sweet what your mom does, sending you cards "from Angel". That is just so adorable. What a great mom you have. Sending her hugs too.

Ok, tears are clouding my vision again.

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Thank you so much for those kind words. I had to do everything I could, or I would never would have been able to live with myself. I loved him so very, very much!!  

I think you misunderstood, my mom wasn't the one who sent the cards. It's a friend of mine in CA. 

I am so sorry for your loss.  DH came in as I was looking at your pictures, and asked me if Angel was a real cat and said he was beautiful.  I agree.  A very sweet and beautiful cat.  You'll be in my prayers.