We took in a cat for a friend who ended up having kittens but we dont want her to get them, do we ha

misterwhiskers · Feb 3, 2016

This woman (the cats original owner) has entitlement syndrome. She acts entitled to railroading and manipulating others into doing what SHE wants without any thought of long term consequences.

My guess is she knew you'd bring her to the vet and get her cat well, for free, and now she just thinks she can get the poor cat back. Like dropping off laundry at a dry cleaner. For free. (Not that money's the concern for you I am sure). Sheesh.

She is controlling but she also is very manipulative. Something tells me that had you never shown interest in the cat, she wouldn't ever have cared.

Have you offered to "adopt" the cat for a fee?

kittens mom · Feb 3, 2016

Anafeicht said:
Yes I'm just wondering what it is.
And they will definitely have to have a warrant and even then itll be over my dead body.

I think Margd hit the nail on the head there.

ginny · Feb 3, 2016

I don't really agree with there being a control issue on her part, after all, the kitty was hers before she asked you to keep her. Even though she was negligent. But according to you, her terms were a bit vague and based on the kitty's safety. You said that she said "she might want her back when she was able to care for her." That's vague. Might?

Since the reason why she asked you to keep the kitty in the first place was because her uncle was abusing the kitty, well, he's still around, so the potential for more abuse is still there. so her original terms have not been met, even if she is able to keep her. I couldn't in good conscience send the kitty back, and the babies, to that abusive situation no matter if she does want her back. Plus, it's been 3 1/2 months? Isn't ownership established after one month?

kittens mom · Feb 3, 2016

Ginny said:
I don't really agree with there being a control issue on her part, after all, the kitty was hers before she asked you to keep her. Even though she was negligent. But according to you, her terms were a bit vague and based on the kitty's safety. You said that she said "she might want her back when she was able to care for her." That's vague. Might?

Since the reason why she asked you to keep the kitty in the first place was because her uncle was abusing the kitty, well, he's still around, so the potential for more abuse is still there. so her original terms have not been met, even if she is able to keep her. I couldn't in good conscience send the kitty back, and the babies, to that abusive situation no matter if she does want her back. Plus, it's been 3 1/2 months? Isn't ownership established after one month?

Remember your logic isn't her logic. If the uncle is abusing the cat what is he doing to her children. She keeps it up she might really regret making a fuss.

ginny · Feb 3, 2016

Kittens Mom said:
In order to reason with someone you have to feel out where they're coming from.

Certainly. But if that person is coming from all over the map, it'd be very hard to reason with them.

kittens mom · Feb 3, 2016

Ginny said:
Certainly. But if that person is coming from all over the map, it'd be very hard to reason with them.

It's what they have to work with. It's as important to know when you're spinning your wheels as it is working toward a solution. The OP sounds frustrated, scared and mad but has a good mind. She may even burn herself out in a few days. I'd leave it alone, see an attorney and wait for her next move.

If the OP got a rabies she may even be listed as the owner with her address on the paperwork. I'd have that and the tag handy by the door.

ginny · Feb 3, 2016

Kittens Mom said:
It's what they have to work with. It's as important to know when you're spinning your wheels as it is working toward a solution. The OP sounds frustrated, scared and mad but has a good mind. She may even burn herself out in a few days. I'd leave it alone, see an attorney and wait for her next move.

If the OP got a rabies she may even be listed as the owner with her address on the paperwork. I'd have that and the tag handy by the door.

Just to be clear, I'm referring to the original owner, the OO, about being all over the map. Not the OP.

Yes the OP has a good mind.

anafeicht · Feb 3, 2016

misterwhiskers said:
This woman (the cats original owner) has entitlement syndrome. She acts entitled to railroading and manipulating others into doing what SHE wants without any thought of long term consequences.

My guess is she knew you'd bring her to the vet and get her cat well, for free, and now she just thinks she can get the poor cat back. Like dropping off laundry at a dry cleaner. For free. (Not that money's the concern for you I am sure). Sheesh.

She is controlling but she also is very manipulative. Something tells me that had you never shown interest in the cat, she wouldn't ever have cared.

Have you offered to "adopt" the cat for a fee?

Okay so we texted her and offered to pay her to keep the cats and the reply we got was "Speak in person preferably.." so I think we're close to a solution. So hopefully this is almost over and we'll be able to keep them without a fight. I'm glad thar was suggested because that will hopefully get this cleared up a lot faster and I can stop worrying about them going back there. Thank you everyone for the help.

ginny · Feb 3, 2016

misterwhiskers said:
My guess is she knew you'd bring her to the vet and get her cat well, for free, and now she just thinks she can get the poor cat back. Like dropping off laundry at a dry cleaner. For free. (Not that money's the concern for you I am sure). Sheesh.

Something tells me that had you never shown interest in the cat, she wouldn't ever have cared.

margd · Feb 3, 2016

Anafeicht said:
Okay so we texted her and offered to pay her to keep the cats and the reply we got was "Speak in person preferably.." so I think we're close to a solution. So hopefully this is almost over and we'll be able to keep them without a fight. I'm glad thar was suggested because that will hopefully get this cleared up a lot faster and I can stop worrying about them going back there. Thank you everyone for the help.

I really hope this works out! Bless you for standing up for this mama cat and her kittens!

ginny · Feb 3, 2016

@Anafeicht hope things go well! Keep us informed.

misterwhiskers · Feb 3, 2016

Sending major prayers!!! If you speak in person record the conversation, be careful to not implicate yourself, stick to your guns that she only told you she "might" want them back.

If she tries to back you into a corner walk away. You have the upper hand and if she tries to blackmail you (or it sounds that way) it might be best to tell her you'll think it over. Don't bring cash to her house. Meet in a macdonalds or even in the police station. My fear is the uncle might be trying to use the cat to get money. Sounds weird but if they know you have a little, and love animals, trust me, some people will stop at nothing to get their next fix.

Do not allow her in your house, trust me on this.

Good luck and if a $75-$100 "adoption fee" is what it takes (lowball them), great. Any more might sound like you're scared and paying them off.

margd · Feb 3, 2016

misterwhiskers said:
Sending major prayers!!! If you speak in person record the conversation, be careful to not implicate yourself, stick to your guns that she only told you she "might" want them back.

If she tries to back you into a corner walk away. You have the upper hand and if she tries to blackmail you (or it sounds that way) it might be best to tell her you'll think it over. Don't bring cash to her house. Meet in a macdonalds or even in the police station. My fear is the uncle might be trying to use the cat to get money. Sounds weird but if they know you have a little, and love animals, trust me, some people will stop at nothing to get their next fix.

Do not allow her in your house, trust me on this.

Good luck and if a $75-$100 "adoption fee" is what it takes (lowball them), great. Any more might sound like you're scared and paying them off.

Mamanyt1953 · Feb 4, 2016

The kittens should not be weaned before eight weeks, and 10 would be far better.

I'm hoping that you will convince your boyfriend that it is in the best interest of the cat to keep her, as well. She does not need to go back into that situation, given the shape she was in when you got her.

Let me ask you this, it's something that will have some bearing in court, perhaps, did she ever offer of attempt to get cat food or litter to you, or offer to reimburse you on costs for vet, etc? If not, this will help prove abandonment. KEEP THIS CAT AND HER BABIES! I fear for them at the hands of this girl, who is not capable of protecting them at best.

kittens mom · Feb 4, 2016

Mamanyt1953 said:
The kittens should not be weaned before eight weeks, and 10 would be far better.

I'm hoping that you will convince your boyfriend that it is in the best interest of the cat to keep her, as well. She does not need to go back into that situation, given the shape she was in when you got her.

Let me ask you this, it's something that will have some bearing in court, perhaps, did she ever offer of attempt to get cat food or litter to you, or offer to reimburse you on costs for vet, etc? If not, this will help prove abandonment. KEEP THIS CAT AND HER BABIES! I fear for them at the hands of this girl, who is not capable of protecting them at best.

We had a dog rescue located out here snatch one of my in laws dogs that the let run loose a few years ago. You know they took piss poor care of that dog. All of their animals. They were hopping mad and made a lot of noise but never pursed it. They couldn't produce a county dog license, Proof of rabies or even a vet that had seen the dog. If they had gotten it back they would have been on the hook for getting shots, wormed and rabies.

The biggest mistake here was their honesty in talking to the police and possibly admitting the original owner had some claim of ownership of the cat. I'm not condoning lying. Just being fully aware of a situation before speaking to the authorities. Making sure the story is given accurately the first time. You can remember details but it's hard to change them.

artiemom · Feb 4, 2016

misterwhiskers said:
Sending major prayers!!! If you speak in person record the conversation, be careful to not implicate yourself, stick to your guns that she only told you she "might" want them back.

If she tries to back you into a corner walk away. You have the upper hand and if she tries to blackmail you (or it sounds that way) it might be best to tell her you'll think it over. Don't bring cash to her house. Meet in a macdonalds or even in the police station. My fear is the uncle might be trying to use the cat to get money. Sounds weird but if they know you have a little, and love animals, trust me, some people will stop at nothing to get their next fix.

Do not allow her in your house, trust me on this.

Good luck and if a $75-$100 "adoption fee" is what it takes (lowball them), great. Any more might sound like you're scared and paying them off.

I would meet in a 'neutral' area.... like inside a coffee shop or Burger King or somewhere public.....It could be on the premises surveillance footage also....better security for you.

Wonder if cash or check would be better...with a check, you would have a legal record of the transaction--if she ever tried to turn things around....

kittens mom · Feb 4, 2016

Artiemom said:
I would meet in a 'neutral' area.... like inside a coffee shop or Burger King or somewhere public.....It could be on the premises surveillance footage also....better security for you.

Wonder if cash or check would be better...with a check, you would have a legal record of the transaction--if she ever tried to turn things around....

The trouble with a stand alone check is the contract isn't fulfilled until the cash it. More room for game playing and you have just handed personal information over. Quick contract where they release any claim to the cat and kittens, signed. followed by cash and exit. And yes a public place.

artiemom · Feb 4, 2016

Kittens Mom said:
The trouble with a stand alone check is the contract isn't fulfilled until the cash it. More room for game playing and you have just handed personal information over. Quick contract where they release any claim to the cat and kittens, signed. followed by cash and exit. And yes a public place.

You are absolutely correct!

I should have thought of that myself....

mommawolf · Feb 4, 2016

Kittens Mom said:
The trouble with a stand alone check is the contract isn't fulfilled until the cash it. More room for game playing and you have just handed personal information over. Quick contract where they release any claim to the cat and kittens, signed. followed by cash and exit. And yes a public place.

I've been intensely following this thread but hadn't anything to add until now. This is is why I do not except cash or personal checks for commissions. I always ask for money orders if they cannot pay digitally. One could always use a money order for the cats and keep the receipt of the money order.

kittens mom · Feb 4, 2016

MommaWolf said:
I've been intensely following this thread but hadn't anything to add until now. This is is why I do not except cash or personal checks for commissions. I always ask for money orders if they cannot pay digitally. One could always use a money order for the cats and keep the receipt of the money order.

A money order would be my first choice. I insisted on cashiers checks on horse sales. In this case cash and a siggy is the easy way to rid yourselves of this mess. This isn't a high dollar transaction. The real issue here are laws that see companion animals as chattel.

We took in a cat for a friend who ended up having kittens but we dont want her to get them, do we ha

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Kittens life was lost to a negligent veterinarian.

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Kittens life was lost to a negligent veterinarian.