Breeder deemed me "unfit" for a kitten :(

carinajosefine · Jan 31, 2016

I dont think you come across as cold at all. I dont think you'r cruel wanting to keep a cat out of the bedroom either. I think a lot of pet owners have plans of doing that, and maybe more often than not, it doesnt turn out as planned

I dont think you should be discouraged by that breeder. Some times the chemistry just isnt there.
I dont want to slag off the breeder though. We breed dogs, and sometimes my gut feeling is screaming not to send a puppy to a certain family. I have ignored it in the past, and the outcome has not always been good. We have been to court to take a dog back, that was not well taken care of. To ignore that gut feeling and send your babies away, always wondering if you should have listened to you gut feeling, is aweful. So if her gut feeling is really bothering her, I can understand it.

Im sure you'll get your cat <3

NewYork1303 · Jan 31, 2016

I wonder if the breeder was perhaps more concerned about the fact that you're thinking of having a baby in the near future. Many cats are dropped off at shelters after people have babies because they don't have time or energy to deal with a cat and a new baby. One of or current cats was given up at a shelter because the people had a new baby and couldn't deal with him anymore. I know that the shelter I got him from is often unwilling to adopt out kittens to people who say they want to have a baby soon.

I am sure that no matter what cat you end up with you will be a great cat parent. It sounds like you guys worked really hard to create a great space for a cat to be in. I definitely wouldn't think wanting a cat kept out of your room would be a problem. There are two rooms of our house that cats aren't allowed in most of the time. They don't seem to suffer because of it.

ginny · Jan 31, 2016

Quizzie said:
The breeder lives quite far away from us. Actually we wanted to go for a visit to see the kittens... And the breeder said it's not how she does it and that we could infect the unvaccinated kittens.

Hmmm, that's just how Sammy and Garfy's breeder was about germs. But she lived in Atlanta so she invited us to come over. Omg she gave my mom and I the stink eye from the moment we arrived at her house. She ordered us to sit in the front room and wait. The room looked almost sterile, there were clean off white terry cloth towels neatly covering all the furniture which was the same color. She was like a drill sergeant. Minutes later she emerged carrying a little precious 2 week old black Persian kitten on a terry cloth towel, and we immediately cooed and leaned forward to pet the kitten I would later name Sammy, but she leaned backwards with a look on her face that said "None shall pass!" She glared and said "Don't touch!" I'm not even kidding. We felt like filthy, germ-ridden criminals! All we could do was just look, no touching! And we had to stay 5 feet back.

After that first 5 minutes, the breeder warmed up to us considerably, in fact she did a 180. So I guess we passed inspection! But she never let us touch him. I'll have to admit I was a little off-put, but I had to respect the fact that she took the babies health very seriously. She protected them fiercely. When Sammy was 6 weeks she let us visit again and pet him. Maybe the Siamese breeder is the same way. I think her fears would have been relieved if you lived close enough to visit. Just curious, how did she plan to deliver the kitten to you? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Kat0121 · Jan 31, 2016

StefanZ said:
I have one point to add. Many cats wants / needs a pal. Especially such a lively breed as siamese. So possibly, plan on two - the easiest is of course to take in a pair when you know from beginning they are good pals. Such is common esp if you take them from a shelter.

I agree with this. I went to the shelter to get Lilith and ended up walking out with her and her sister. If you find a cat that chooses you, ask if there is one that he/she is especially bonded to and consider taking that one as well. I took Sophie because she was very sweet but also because the woman at the shelter was very dismissive of her. When I went into the room to meet Lilith, Sophie was hiding under a chair in the corner. The woman pointed in her direction and told me I could ignore her because she was "unfriendly".

to her. I got Sophie out of there and she and I have a very special bond.

kittymomma1122 · Jan 31, 2016

Everyone treats their cats differently. Somethings that are acceptable to one person may not be to another. Good luck at the shelter. I have seen pure bred cats at our shelter given up for one reason or another. Persians and siamese are the most common here. Persians because the owners where not aware of their grooming needs and siamese because they like to hold conversations. Some of them because their owners passed and the family could not keep them. My cats are moggies that each have their own personallities. I agree with StefanZ it is the connection/bond you have with the cat.

Mamanyt1953 · Jan 31, 2016

Cold is just what you don't seem at all. That said, I'm glad that you will be giving a loving home to a rescue kitty. They seem to know, and they never forget.

mtgal · Jan 31, 2016

DISCLAIMER: Although I've had cats for most of my life, all my cats have been rescues. I have no first hand experience with breeders.

I've gotten a number of dogs from breeders. In the case of dogs, being told I could not see the puppy before making my decision would send me running! The statement about illness is, IMO, unfounded. Zoonotic disease doesn't work that way, at least not often. Yes, humans can get disease from animals and vice-verse. However, the incidence is extremely low and more likely related to improper care or vaccination. I've gotten all my German Shepherds from the same breeder (six with the latest). She insists on meeting the buyer before she'll do a contract. Because we know one another well, I often meet "my" puppy within days of its birth. But I always wear clothing that has not been around my animals and wash before the visit. Of-course, my animals don't get to interact with the new puppy until the puppy has its first shots. With dogs, the benefit of early socialization strongly outweighs the very low risk of infection due to dog-to-dog contact. Of-course, I don't take my young puppies to dog parks and keep them off the floor at the vet's office. Now, with cats, when I bring a new cat into the house, it is isolated until the vet has cleared it of infectious disease. But we try to get this done early because cats need to socialize. Frankly, the breeders fears are largely unfounded. I wonder if she's one of these people who over-baby their animals to the point of being neurotic. It reminds me of a dog breeder who told a friend of mine they should isolate their puppy until it was at least six months old. This made me angry because this is a sure fire way of damaging a dog for life! Protecting an animal and guarding against unnecessary risk is good, but going too far can have negative outcomes.

Regardless of philosophy, I'm sure you will be much happier with a shelter cat.

junglecat · Jan 31, 2016

It sounds like you would have provided a loving and caring home for that kitten. But, now you will be able to give a beautiful, forever home to another kitten who just can't wait for you to pick him or her up and take home. Best wishes to you! [emoji]9786[/emoji]

quizzie · Jan 31, 2016

Ginny said:
...

After that first 5 minutes, the breeder warmed up to us considerably, in fact she did a 180. So I guess we passed inspection! But she never let us touch him. I'll have to admit I was a little off-put, but I had to respect the fact that she took the babies health very seriously. She protected them fiercely. When Sammy was 6 weeks she let us visit again and pet him. Maybe the Siamese breeder is the same way. I think her fears would have been relieved if you lived close enough to visit. Just curious, how did she plan to deliver the kitten to you? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

We would pick her up. I also wondered why the germs wouldn't be a problem then (she already has a new litter now). Maybe she'd hand the kitten over outside...

MTGAL said:
DISCLAIMER: Although I've had cats for most of my life, all my cats have been rescues. I have no first hand experience with breeders.

I've gotten a number of dogs from breeders. In the case of dogs, being told I could not see the puppy before making my decision would send me running! The statement about illness is, IMO, unfounded. Zoonotic disease doesn't work that way, at least not often. Yes, humans can get disease from animals and vice-verse. However, the incidence is extremely low and more likely related to improper care or vaccination. I've gotten all my German Shepherds from the same breeder (six with the latest). She insists on meeting the buyer before she'll do a contract. Because we know one another well, I often meet "my" puppy within days of its birth. But I always wear clothing that has not been around my animals and wash before the visit. Of-course, my animals don't get to interact with the new puppy until the puppy has its first shots. With dogs, the benefit of early socialization strongly outweighs the very low risk of infection due to dog-to-dog contact. Of-course, I don't take my young puppies to dog parks and keep them off the floor at the vet's office. Now, with cats, when I bring a new cat into the house, it is isolated until the vet has cleared it of infectious disease. But we try to get this done early because cats need to socialize. Frankly, the breeders fears are largely unfounded. I wonder if she's one of these people who over-baby their animals to the point of being neurotic. It reminds me of a dog breeder who told a friend of mine they should isolate their puppy until it was at least six months old. This made me angry because this is a sure fire way of damaging a dog for life! Protecting an animal and guarding against unnecessary risk is good, but going too far can have negative outcomes.

Regardless of philosophy, I'm sure you will be much happier with a shelter cat.

Yeah, wow, poor dog! Dogs need socializing... I guess some breeders just don't know where to stop.

ellag · Jan 31, 2016

i have a gorgeous flame point male siamese foster right now and i just sent a female siamese female and her daughter to petco. our rescue gets siamese kitties all the time so there is no need to pay a breeder alot of money, imo. rescues and shelters almost always have siamese or siamese mixes in my area. if you want to come to nashville TN i know where you can get a beautiful boy with the prettiest light blue eyes!

and if a breeder doesn't want you to visit to see the kittens--that's a HUGE red flag!! a good breeder will want to meet you after the kittens are a certain age. if this woman didn't want you to come to her house, that's very suspicious!

ginny · Jan 31, 2016

Quizzie said:
We would pick her up. I also wondered why the germs wouldn't be a problem then (she already has a new litter now). Maybe she'd hand the kitten over outside...

Maybe because they are older, and she knows you will prob take kitty to the vet for a thorough checkup soon after.

quizzie · Jan 31, 2016

ellag said:
i have a gorgeous flame point male siamese foster right now and i just sent a female siamese female and her daughter to petco. our rescue gets siamese kitties all the time so there is no need to pay a breeder alot of money, imo. rescues and shelters almost always have siamese or siamese mixes in my area. if you want to come to nashville TN i know where you can get a beautiful boy with the prettiest light blue eyes!

Sounds perfect, but I'm in Europe.

Originally Posted by Ginny

Maybe because they are older, and she knows you will prob take kitty to the vet for a thorough checkup soon after.

But she has new little kittens now.

detroitcatlady · Feb 4, 2016

Quote:

Gilmargl said:
Don't worry - you'll be able to laugh at this in years to come. We were once refused 2 cats which were advertised as needing a new home immediately. Weeks later they were still "an emergency".

I am now fostering cats for a local organization and have learnt that cat people are no worse but not always better than the rest of the population. In my organization we do have some unwritten rules: for instance, no young cat will be rehomed to elderly people unless a younger person agrees to sign the contract and take responsibility should anything happen to the new owners; cats who've lost their tail should not be given to people living in high-rise apartments. However, whoever is fostering a cat can veto a new owner - after all, when one has spent weeks or even months getting an animal fit and ready for a new home, one feels responsible for making sure that the new home is at least as good as the one the animal is leaving.

And that's the problem. For some mad cat ladies no home is good enough for their proteges. Some forget that human beings also have feelings and deserve to be treated with respect. If a potential owner tells me she will not allow the cat to sleep on the beds, I just smile and say "Wait and see". My cats rarely sleep with me at the moment (pity!) because one of my bossy fosters refuses to let any of them into my room at night. I will be relieved when this particular cat is rehomed. Unfortunately, she disappears whenever anybody comes to take a look at her!

Honestly, some people are just way too judgmental when trying to find animals homes. Whether it be a breeder or someone trying to rehome a pet, sometimes even shelters can be judgmental about who they let adopt. There are so many cats who need homes out there who will never find them, it's unfortunate that some people who would make very loving cat owners are having the door slammed in their face because of someone else's opinion about something as silly as whether you let the cat in the bedroom. Everyone does things a little differently and sets different boundaries for their pets. There are certain areas of my house I will never let my cats in, but these are not rooms but areas of the house I use for storage and it's mostly for the cats safety. They have plenty of room to roam but every now and then I'll have someone over visiting and they'll ask me why I try so hard to keep my cats out of certain closets or why it is so important to me to keep them out of the basement.

I could never keep my cats out of the bedroom. They would sit by the door and meow all night long and I wouldn't get any sleep. With some cats it can be very hard once they are used to sleeping in the bed or being with you all of the time to keep them out of the room while you sleep (away from you). I don't think this is good reason to give when refusing someone who wants to buy/adopt a cat. As someone else mentioned, it is probably more likely that the breeder is having trouble letting go and has become attached to the kitten. Sometimes no matter what someone's intentions are they end up wanting to keep the kitten or give it to a family member or someone else who will be close by. I had an experience like this when a friend of mine was trying to rehome kittens. She was struggling to find homes for them and I offered to take them but she made every excuse and ended up keeping them.

ginny · Feb 5, 2016

detroitcatlady said:
Quote:

Honestly, some people are just way too judgmental when trying to find animals homes. Whether it be a breeder or someone trying to rehome a pet, sometimes even shelters can be judgmental about who they let adopt. There are so many cats who need homes out there who will never find them, it's unfortunate that some people who would make very loving cat owners are having the door slammed in their face because of someone else's opinion about something as silly as whether you let the cat in the bedroom.

I agree with you up to a point. The bottom line is it's the breeder's decision, one she will have to live with, that matters. I think she was a bit too judgy here too. But they are her kittens. How could she forgive herself if she let them go to a home where she thought they wouldn't be taken care of well? I don't think this is the case here at all. Still I understand her reticence.

There are so many cats who need homes. But they need the RIGHT home, not just A home. I don't know how the shelter's are in your area, but in mine I think they rush the pets out the door without enough prior scrutiny of the potential adopters. It chills me to the bone that they may go to a home where kids won't be supervised closely enough, or they already have big dogs that would kill a cat without a qualm. One such incidence ended up on the pet grief board. The girl didn't put up her big dogs and they got a hold of her brand new kitten :''(( Did that kitten come from a shelter or a humane society or maybe someone giving away free kittens "to a good home"? Accidents do happen but we are responsible for them.

donutte · Feb 5, 2016

Ginny said:
There are so many cats who need homes. But they need the RIGHT home, not just A home.

I agree, I also understand why shelters need to be picky. I wanted to adopt from one in the city that is on the verge of shutting down because they were over-budget last year. Do you know what the main reason was? People returning cats that had gotten sick or old. A lot of them. It costs a lot of money in vet bills to take cats back in, because they have to run them through the whole battery of tests before they can have them go back into the cat population, or be adopted out. I can guarantee that they tightened up their criteria for a matching home after that. I wasn't turned down, but was told they would have to get a board of directors vote to adopt to anyone that had four or more pets. While under normal circumstances I would have been ok with that, I was not in the best emotional place in the world (having lost Lucky just a couple weeks earlier) to deal with potentially getting emotionally attached to a cat and then told no. So I ultimately went elsewhere. But I completely understand where that particular shelter is coming from. They are doing what they feel is the best for them, and that includes using experience they've had to make these decisions. I'm guessing that they've had issues with folks saying they decided after the fact it was too many pets. I can respect that.

tabbymommy · Feb 5, 2016

All I have to say is that Siamese I have heard need alot of exercise so be prepared to play alot

ginny · Feb 5, 2016

Donutte said:
I agree, I also understand why shelters need to be picky. I wanted to adopt from one in the city that is on the verge of shutting down because they were over-budget last year. Do you know what the main reason was? People returning cats that had gotten sick or old. A lot of them. It costs a lot of money in vet bills to take cats back in, because they have to run them through the whole battery of tests before they can have them go back into the cat population, or be adopted out. I can guarantee that they tightened up their criteria for a matching home after that....

That is really sad. When kittens get adopted from the Humane Society where I volunteer, I always wonder if they will dump the kitty once he grows up to be a cat. Plenty of people will say I love kittens but I hate cats. For me it's sort of the opposite. I do like kittens, but I LOVE cats. This is the kind of person you want to adopt, not some impulsive person who is in love with the little bitty kitty for right now, thinking they will never grow up, but if they do they will go for a long ride in the country. God, how do you screen for that?

If I were a breeder, not saying I would ever be, I would demand visitation rights, unannounced, for the lifetime of the cat. Trust but verify!

Kat0121 · Feb 5, 2016

Ginny said:
That is really sad. When kittens get adopted from the Humane Society where I volunteer, I always wonder if they will dump the kitty once he grows up to be a cat. Plenty of people will say I love kittens but I hate cats. For me it's sort of the opposite. I do like kittens, but I LOVE cats. This is the kind of person you want to adopt, not some impulsive person who is in love with the little bitty kitty for right now, thinking they will never grow up, but if they do they will go for a long ride in the country. God, how do you screen for that?

If I were a breeder, not saying I would ever be, I would demand visitation rights, unannounced, for the lifetime of the cat. Trust but verify!

I'm with you. Kittens are fantastic. They are adorable beyond words, they are playful, fun and so sweet but give me an adult any day. If a kitten in need crossed my path, I'd take it in a second but I wouldn't go seeking one. My dog is in her twilight years and once she crosses the bridge, I'm going back to the shelter Henry came from and taking another cat who is on their long timers list. unfortunately, they have quite a few.

anyway, back to the topic. @Quizzie I hope you find the cat or cats that you're meant to

luna tuna · Feb 5, 2016

I got a Siamese mix at my local humane society- she's gorgeous, affectionate, and sweet. She's 10, but they had two gorgeous Siamese kittens shortly after I adopted her. They're not too hard to find if you keep looking!

sparkie · Feb 8, 2016

Breeder lady is delusional. I can tell by your post that you're going to be an excellent kitty-parent! Whoever you choose to adopt from the shelter is going to be a lucky, lucky kitty!

Breeder deemed me "unfit" for a kitten :(

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Rules my home with an iron paw

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Professional cat sitter extraordinaire!

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