My 6 year old, Dubs, died unexpectedley today.

christfawk

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I'm not entirely comfortable talking to people about this, but I need to do something with my hands so I want to tell you all the story of Dubs.

Dubs is a 6 year old boy and littermate to my cat, Rudy. Dubs is actually my boyfriend's cat, however we've lived together for almost 5 years so he's one of my best friends too. Dubs has constipation issues and has received enemas twice over the last few months, today, he started to get blocked up again so I took him for another. He was in much better shape than the last two times, and everything was going smoothly when I called at 1pm to check on him.

When I arrived an hour and a half later, he was unresponsive, so he was being kept overnight. I received a phone call a few hours later, saying he had crashed and passed away. My vet thinks he threw a blood clot from stress. Its a freak tragedy.

This whole thing is unreal for me, this isn't actually happening. I know its going to be hard for while, I work with animals and know how this whole process goes. I guess I really just want everyone to know he lived, and that he's a great cat. I won't have anyone to scream at me for food in the morning, lick my feet when I get out of the shower, or knead the pillow next to me while I'm going to sleep.

My boyfriend and I cried together for a long time, he just went to sleep to deal with how awful he feels and that's fine. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do the same. He's the best boy, I'm going to miss him every day for a long time.

 
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christfawk

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What a beautiful picture soo very sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was an amazing cat.
Thank you, he really was, I'm pretty sure he thought he was a person, he was very boisterous, and my house is going to be unnervingly quiet for a long time. I'm so fortunate I was able to get a professional picture done of him, and fortunate I was able to spend a few wonderful years with him.
 

ginny

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Oh, i'm so sorry about your dear kitty!  He was beautiful. Black kitties are my favorites! If you want to you can go to Petloss.com for support from others.  They even have a live chat room you can talk with a moderator about your loss. 

Edited:  Didn't read the forum this was posted in!
 
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donutte

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Wow, I'm so very sorry about your loss. Such a sudden thing is particularly difficult. My heart goes out to you both.
 

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I'm so sorry to hear that. Poor boy and poor you. It's terrible when these things happen so suddenly.

Big hug to you, your boyfriend and Rudy.

 

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My condolences to you and your boyfriend. It must be a horrible shock to lose your beautiful Dubs so suddenly at such a young age.
 

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It's terrible that it was so sudden! So sorry for your and your boyfriend's loss. 
 

kittens mom

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This whole thing is unreal for me, this isn't actually happening. I know its going to be hard for while, I work with animals and know how this whole process goes. I guess I really just want everyone to know he lived, and that he's a great cat. I won't have anyone to scream at me for food in the morning, lick my feet when I get out of the shower, or knead the pillow next to me while I'm going to sleep.

You just hit on one of the reason I think we all need to put something somewhere. We want everyone to know they lived and were loved.

I don't know about anyone else. But I'm sure for many of us these stories of about these wonderful cats stick with us. What a beautiful cat was Dubs. I see he was beautiful but I always go to the eyes. I can see the smart funny cat in that stare. I am so sorry for your loss.
 

di and bob

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I'm so sorry for your pain, it takes a long time to heal the hole in your heart, and your house is so very empty for such a long time. Thank you for letting us know of this wonderful boy, Dubs filled your heart with love and devotion for 6 years, and the bond you formed with him will be with you forever. In return you gave him the only thing he ever wanted, love and care, and it sounds like he received both in abundance.

My heart goes out to you, try to celebrate the 6 years you shared, and not dwell on the end, it brings nothing but heartache. He would never want you to be sad when remembering him, but to pass on the legacy of love he left you and to be comforted with your happy memories together. In time the grief will soften to fond memories, and you could pass on his legacy by loving another in his name. He would be honored. Please know we share your pain on this site, we have suffered through what you are feeling too, I hope in some small way your telling the story of sweet Dubs will comfort you and lessen some of the pain in your broken heart. Be gentle on yourself, you are blessed to have someone in your life that can share your grief and together help each other with the loss. Take care.........RIP sweet Dubs, you are secure in knowing you will be forever held in loving hearts and will never be forgotten!
 

zed xyzed

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what a beautiful cat, I am so sorry for your loss. He sounded like such a special little soul; I grieve with you.
 
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christfawk

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I'm so sorry for your pain, it takes a long time to heal the hole in your heart, and your house is so very empty for such a long time. Thank you for letting us know of this wonderful boy, Dubs filled your heart with love and devotion for 6 years, and the bond you formed with him will be with you forever. In return you gave him the only thing he ever wanted, love and care, and it sounds like he received both in abundance.

My heart goes out to you, try to celebrate the 6 years you shared, and not dwell on the end, it brings nothing but heartache. He would never want you to be sad when remembering him, but to pass on the legacy of love he left you and to be comforted with your happy memories together. In time the grief will soften to fond memories, and you could pass on his legacy by loving another in his name. He would be honored. Please know we share your pain on this site, we have suffered through what you are feeling too, I hope in some small way your telling the story of sweet Dubs will comfort you and lessen some of the pain in your broken heart. Be gentle on yourself, you are blessed to have someone in your life that can share your grief and together help each other with the loss. Take care.........RIP sweet Dubs, you are secure in knowing you will be forever held in loving hearts and will never be forgotten!
Thanks you so much for all your kind words, I know we'll be getting another cat in time, the house will be too quiet. My other two are shy things, Dubs was very in your face, you knew it when he walked into a room. He was actually a jerk who loved to cuddle, but he would hiss at your shoes when you walked by. Right now I mostly want to get his ashes back, I need him to come home. I was already looking into urns, its just the way my brain is, its like "This has happened, now I have to give him whatever I can after all of this." I found one that's actually a teddy bear you can place ashes and hug him, I'm hoping my boyfriend gets on board with the idea, especially since he was such a cuddler. My cat is also affectionate, but mostly toward me. I feel even worse for my boyfriend, Dubs was his only friend in the world for several months.

I hope my boyfriend and I will be able to sit around and tell stories of his life soon. He went to bed at about 7:30 last night and has yet to wake up. If that's how he has to cope that's fine with me.
 

kittens mom

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Thanks you so much for all your kind words, I know we'll be getting another cat in time, the house will be too quiet. My other two are shy things, Dubs was very in your face, you knew it when he walked into a room. He was actually a jerk who loved to cuddle, but he would hiss at your shoes when you walked by. Right now I mostly want to get his ashes back, I need him to come home. I was already looking into urns, its just the way my brain is, its like "This has happened, now I have to give him whatever I can after all of this." I found one that's actually a teddy bear you can place ashes and hug him, I'm hoping my boyfriend gets on board with the idea, especially since he was such a cuddler. My cat is also affectionate, but mostly toward me. I feel even worse for my boyfriend, Dubs was his only friend in the world for several months.

I hope my boyfriend and I will be able to sit around and tell stories of his life soon. He went to bed at about 7:30 last night and has yet to wake up. If that's how he has to cope that's fine with me.
Sleep is a haven for some people. Don't underestimate emotional exhaustion. At 6 weeks I still can't taste food. Grief is a physical and emotional process. Kitten was a bulldozer in the house. Nothing escaped her scrutiny or supervision. Mook was always the minion in the background. She has actually become more assertive. Don't be surprised if that happens in your home. It's recognized that pets often go through a personality change when a long time companion goes away. Not just one person feels the impact when one of our companions dies. I know that my husband has people he talks to. I am more comfortable right now expressing the hurt and anger over Kitten online. It's still painful to talk about it between ourselves. Although that wall as started to come down. It simply triggers too much emotion to do more than comfort each other right now.

My husband loves teddy bears. he wants something to put a clipping of hair he took into. I may look into that for him. I refuse to split the ashes. That's like chopping off her head, leg or tail.

Remember that our partners may grieve in different ways or at a different pace and everyone has to respect those boundaries.

I love the picture of him on the pillow.
 
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christfawk

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Sleep is a haven for some people. Don't underestimate emotional exhaustion. At 6 weeks I still can't taste food. Grief is a physical and emotional process. Kitten was a bulldozer in the house. Nothing escaped her scrutiny or supervision. Mook was always the minion in the background. She has actually become more assertive. Don't be surprised if that happens in your home. It's recognized that pets often go through a personality change when a long time companion goes away. Not just one person feels the impact when one of our companions dies. I know that my husband has people he talks to. I am more comfortable right now expressing the hurt and anger over Kitten online. It's still painful to talk about it between ourselves. Although that wall as started to come down. It simply triggers too much emotion to do more than comfort each other right now.

My husband loves teddy bears. he wants something to put a clipping of hair he took into. I may look into that for him. I refuse to split the ashes. That's like chopping off her head, leg or tail.

Remember that our partners may grieve in different ways or at a different pace and everyone has to respect those boundaries.

I love the picture of him on the pillow.
I totally understand he has to deal with it in his own way, he's been in bed for 18 hours now, and he can stay there the whole weekend if he feels he has to. Dubs was a daddy's boy, I can't imagine what he's going through. I told him I'd do whatever he needs while we both grieve. Rudy has barley left my side all day, I know he misses his brother, he was upset yesterday before all this happened when Dubs was away at the vet. I want to talk to my boyfriend about the whole thing but I'm also unsure if that's what he wants, so I'm going to do my best to wait for him to give the go ahead.

I totally understand not wanting to separate you sweet Kitten's ashes, you need to do what's best for you. I actually had to work a crematorium when I worked for a veterinary office, so there is some disconnection with me being able to deal with them. I'd actually like to get a cremation pendant as well, and I will be more than happy to buy one for my boyfriend too. The teddy bears I found are available here, and are actually big enough to hold the ashes of an individual 15 lbs at time of cremation, they come in sizes up to 50 pounds too. There are more available that I actually like better, but my finances limit me to those ones that are on sale. I was actually hoping to find one that was just a black cat, but I had no such luck save for having a custom one done and they're unfortunately far too expensive for me to be able to afford as much as I want to. I honestly can't even afford the cremation right now.

I love that picture, its one of my favorites, he was such a lazy thing. It makes me smile to think about him lazing about the house, I tear up to, but I'm happy I can smile.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like Dubs was very special.  
 
 

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O what a beauty. I know you will really miss him. I have always been a cat person. My husband had said he never liked cats but would never harm one and he has totally been the one cats try to win over and they do very succesfully. They are such company to him while I am working. he is disabled, gets depressed easily and they just sense that and keep him 

entertained. I even put up a photo and a poem on our bookcase over Christmas to remember Tigger by. Hubby also asked for a photo in a frame

to go  by his bed..

No One can understand your loss anymore than  folks on this site,  bless you and boyfriend , and know you are in our thoughts and prayers
 
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christfawk

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