Why, Why...WHY??????????????????

And one more thing, before I leave....
Why oh why can't there be more men like you, Kittyfoot, in the world?
Thank you so much for your words.

Hello. I just read all the comments on this thread and I am very impressed with all the support u are getting. Debby, as u know, I agree with all of them that u did NOTHING wrong.

Let's look at it this way, most of people would take the easy way out and leave these kittens to die saying things like "it's nature, maybe they're not qualified enough to care for these kittens, they just don't have time to stop and check on the kittens, maybe someone else would rescue them."

U are one of these BRAVE souls who are willing to risk heartbreak to rescue kittens/cats.

Now, I am going to be honest here and HOPE that no one kills me for what I will say..

From what I have read, it seems like most of u blames men for being insensitive about cats.

What i m trying to say is that i think Debby's husband does care very much and is in pain seeing u (Debby) going through this and be unable to help remove the pain.

We as women tend to react toward situations, etc by venting our feelings, talk about it.

Men tend to react toward situations by offering solutions so it won't happen again. It sounds to me like ur husband was trying to help by offering solutions but not realizing that u just needed a sympathetic ear.

And he did care. I mean, many guys would not have bother to respond to Debby's pain. They'd shrug it off, say things will be back to normal in time.

I don't want this to hurt ur relationship with ur hubby. I think he was trying to help in his own blundering way....

This is just my opinion.Hope I have not offended anyone.
Hang in there DEBBY! We need more brave souls like u to rescue other cats/kittens...


Pamela

Debbie,

Just think how great a person it takes to be totally grief-stricken and still go to another thread to help someone else vent.

I'm talking about you posting on the 'required declawing' thread. You care so much about our little furry creatures that you are still hanging in there.

Your husband is being a BUTT. I wonder if he's maybe jealous of your love for your little furbabies. I'm sure he fell in love with you because you are such a loving person and now he wants it all for himself. Well, if he wants to hang on to your love he better take care of your fragile feelings right now. Wish I could tell him that.

Hang in there sweetie. Do you think it would help you if you moved the kitties in another room until morning? I think seeing them every minute may be adding to your depression. Why don't you try it? You can always bring them back in the room you're in.

Pamela, I was typing while you were and just read your post.

I think your husband loves you too, Debbie (how could he not). To our 'baby' acting husbands, l5 cats does seem like 40. He does let you have them (by let I mean doesn't try to stop you). And he evidently doesn't stop you from taking them to the vet, buying their food, etc.

I'm not saying he isn't being a BUTT, but I agree with Pamela that maybe he is trying to help in his own 'blundering' way.

Pamela....Thank you for your post. Do you really think he wasn't trying to be insensitive, but just not knowing how to help????
Is that why he got mad because I wasn't in the mood to fix supper....even though the ribs were already done, in the crockpot, and the only thing he was p*ssed about was that I wasn't out there frying his dam* potaotes to go with it, I hope I don't sound mad at you, Pamela, because that is honestly not how I am feeling towards you....I am thankful that you made me stop and see both sides of things, and you seem to have a better grasp of the male mind than I do, so I really, truley appreciate your views. I hope you don't think I am being sarcastic or unrespectful here, because I'm not. I mean what I said. The male mind confuses me so badly!!! And you seem to have a better knowledge of it than I do....so do you think, he really flet bad and sorry for my feelings.....even though his words were so cruel?

Deb I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard but the man above had his reasons. Our shoulders are here for you to cry on. As for the husband, I sometimes think mine is insensitve but then I hear him in his own way grieving (talking to himself, crying in private, etc.) but that's his way of grieving. I had my share of hardaches, heck I recently lost a 6 week old. It's hard but there is some reason what happened happend. Please hang in there as we will always be here for you.

Frannie

I sent you a PM before I even read all the threads. When I read the first thread about your hubby and the way he acted it just hit home hard. Now after reading the rest of the threads I do have to agree with you that there should be more men in this world like Kittyfoot. And right or wrong, I thank God that he has come into my life.

Patricia.....I appreiate all your help, and I probably will appreciate it even more after a good night's sleep....but may I please (without seeming angry....which I am not), answer your post....
I am going to paste on the part I am talking about....(since I don't know how to quote)


. He does let you have them (by let I mean doesn't try to stop you). And he evidently doesn't stop you from taking them to the vet, buying their food, etc.



Okay....first of all.....he can't stop me. This is my house....not his.....and I do not tell him how much I spend on vet bills, or else he would have a cow!!!!!
And I pay for the food for them, and we have seperate checking accounts, so it doesn't hurt him a bit.

Please Patricia, don't take this the wrong the way, I was not meaning to sound angry, I appreciate very much your advice! (see I even mustered up a smile for you! )
I was justt trying to explain how he really has no say over how many cats or what I spend on them. Maybe that is what makes him so angry???

I dunno. But thanks for your advice, you are very sweet!

Meme...Thank you for caring....you are so lucky, and so is Kittyfoot, to have found such soul mates, and you BOTH are lucky to have each other!!!
Does Kittyfoot maybe have a younger, cat loving brother???

Nope sorry no brothers. He is an only child..grin.

Debby..just a quick question? Was hubby raised around farm folks by any chance? The reason I ask is that several of my friends are farmers and sometimes their seeming insensitivity jars me. But they have to develop a certain aloofness..just as a surgeon does.

Men are all different just as all women are. I was fortunate to be born in a home where animals were loved...but my Dad was a hunter. I remember my Mom's family drowning kittens and shooting the family dog when it was no longer useful. That was normal in those days. Nobody gave it a second thought. Yet these people taught me to love all little helpless things. On the other hand I do keep a rifle.

Debby..you listen to these folks...you did NOT KILL the kittens. Infants of all types can die in a matter of hours. Ever hear of SIDS?? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome?? No reason,no warning,just gone.
This was NOT your fault. Grieve..but do not BLAME.

As for hubby..I can't obviously explain why he acted this way and would not even try really. But he DOES deserve a good swift boot.

Thank you kittyfoot, for your reply.....no, hubby was not raised around farm folks.
I was however. My father and brother were all farmers. I was raised on a farm. I was also taught to respect the helpless animals that needed us....we were not insensitive hillbillies like many people think.
I really appreciate your posts, Kittyfoot....I know you are wanting to help me, and you have!!! You are a dear, and so is Meme....you are both so lucky to have found each other....attractive people and cat lovers to boot......I still wish ya had a brother, Wayne.
I you both....thanks for your support during this hard time for me.

And for anyone else who has ever lost a beloved animal


By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.


For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past.
The time of their parting is over at last.


The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over…together.

Author Unknown

Thanks Debby..I'm pleased if Barb and I could help...she is a very special lady.

I thought I'd better clear up one thing tho before someone misunderstood. I do not think farmers are callous or insensitive. Heck a lot of my family on both sides are farm stock, I grew up around an old-fashioned farm and live in a farm country. But as I'm sure Debby understands..farmers have to develop a certain toughness. Otherwise no cute calves,lambs,etc would ever make it to your plate.
Sometimes this carries on to all the animals on the farm and beyond.
It's a necessary defence mechanism like a doctor's. Otherwise they couldn't carry on.

Did you know that there is a medical term for what happened to your kittens? It is called Fading Kitten Syndrome and even in breeding catteries of the finest caliber, they can experience this syndrome as much as 34% . So again, it is nothing you did wrong.

Hissy........ Thank you for that poem....I realy needed that. Maybe I can get to sleep now. Thank you....you are an

Kittyfoot.....don't worry, I know what you meant....it's not that farmers are rough, uncaring people, but they have to develop a sort of rough outside hide, so to speak, because they have to not get attached to the baby calves that are abandoned, or pigs, like I would.......because they know they have to be sold for food to feed their families.

Hissy, I need to get some sleep now....but I really want to hear more about the fading kitten syndrome....what is it? what is it caused by? Do you think that is what happened to my babies???? Does this happen to healthy babies for no reason?????

I have to agree that Kittyfoot is absolutely a sweetie. I do know of a few men that are like him -- Imagyne (Ken, Sandie's husband), Clint (Rene's husband) and mine. But like I said before, I sometimes think he's insensitive but deals with it his own way. He's a big man but acts like a baby when we lose one of ours. He's so protective at shows and of me and any of my babies. He has told people that he will bury them if they hurt me or one of my babies. I sometimes,want to kill him because he gets me angry but then there are times I have to hold him when he breaks down. He also never grew up with a pet but has really come a long way. I on the other hand have always had pets. I hope he realizes how much he hurt you and comes around to his senses. If not, then I agree with Kittyfoot -- he's an ass that doesn't deserve you.

Frannie

Folks..I just had a funny little thought re-reading the Rainbow Bridge. Since there are so many of us who have had many cats in our lives..when one of us gets there the cry might be STAMPEDE!!! Perhaps that's what thunder really is...the rumble of many joyous kitty feet running to meet their loved ones...and lightning is really caused by all the kitty angel halos flying when the collision occurs??

Debbie,

I can sure see where you're coming from. I think I was trying so hard to defend him hoping it would make you feel better and hoping he really isn't as big a butt h*** as he sounds. I know however, that it can get very frustrating when someone is trying to help you and barking up the totally wrong tree.

You put it so sweetly that I don't really feel the need to apologize but I'm going to anyway. You are a dear girl and do not deserve the way he is acting. When we lose our babies, it is similar to losing a child...anybody who doesn't understand that can go to he**. Okay, we always have to explain (to non cat lovers) that of course we don't think a cat is the same as a human baby, BUT...in our hearts they are our little babies.

As you can tell by the responses, you are a very much loved person on this site. We are all grieving with you.