Debby, I wanted to see how you are doing? I hope u are doing better.
I'm glad that my comments made u stop and think about what he might be thinking.
As u have pointed out, yes, he shouldn't have been mad about u not cooking his potatoes. It sounds like he thinks of his own needs first. Unfortunately, many people are like that even though they love their partners. They often will say things that are hurtful, expect life to go on and not let anything affect their lives even if their partners are grieving or struggling.
I had to laugh when u said it sounded like I knew a lot about men and how they think in this section-
"The male mind confuses me so badly I am thankful that you made me stop and see both sides of things, and you seem to have a better grasp of the male mind than I do,I am thankful that you made me stop and see both sides of things, and you seem to have a better grasp of the male mind than I do,"
I do not understand men fully myself! In fact, my last date was over 2 years ago!
After some experiences with men, I realized I had to try to see things from their point of view. That's why I said the things I said- because I thought of the men I know and how they'd react if this happened to me.
I know in the past when one of my cats died, I cried and cried for quite a while and couldn't sleep. My dad who had proclaimed a dislike of cats during my childhood, had let me have that cat. After a while of grieving, I knew I needed another cat but knew dad didn't like cats so I was worried that I'd have to fight him about getting another cat but to my surprise when I asked, he said he was waiting for me to ask. He said "sure, go ahead" and u know what????? That da** cat I adopted has slept with HIM for the last SIX YEARS and DISLIKES me tremously!!!!!!
Even though DAD still SAYS he doesn't like cats, he still will put up with them BUT he will complain to me about it. We had 3 dogs but only one cat during my childhood. No matter how hard I begged, he REFUSED to have more than one cat even when I pointed out how unfair that he has 3 dogs while I had ONE cat.(Now my parents are stuck with 2 cats- they love them though! Hahahah BUT Dad still complains) Last night, he FINALLY admitted he misses Rusty (that cat who sleeps with him) because my parents are in Boston having some tests done on my dad for a fatal disease he has. That's a BIG thing- he never admitted missing a cat until now!
Soooo ur hubby sounded a bit like my dad BUT my dad would have NEVER gotten mad about me not cooking potatoes! He'd have done the dinner HIMSELF without asking me OR go out and buy dinner!
However, as I said, it sounds like ur hubby is self oriented and might need some assistance in learning to focus on other people's needs such as urs. Is there anything he cherishes like maybe a dog?
If so, u should ask him how he'd feel if that dog had upped and died for no reason then u expected him to drop everything (grieving, etc) to serve u. Maybe that would help him realize how selfish he sounded.
Just an idea.
I sure wish there are more guys out there who LIKES cats and would let us ladies baby our cats!
I can't find a man like my dad though-Am not giving up though because I have seen and heard some great stories thru this forum about some men who are willing to put up with FORTY CATS!
That means there are hope for men out there! Hahaha. Maybe one of these lucky gals who are married to one of these men can provide training workshops to men who need training on how to live with cat lovers such as us??!??
I just wanted to check on u and see how u are doing because I know how hard a cat/kitten's death can be. Sorry about being such a MOTORMOUTH! I didn't mean this to be soooo long. I'll shut up for now.
Hang in there Debby!