- Joined
- Jun 18, 2015
- Messages
- 11
- Purraise
- 1
Hello! I recently found this brilliant site and I'm so glad I did
Here is my question and situation for all you feline lovers...I just need some advice and don't really have anywhere to turn. This is a bit long but I want whoever wishes to leave advice to know my full story with my dear cat and I.
About 4 years ago I moved in with my then boyfriend who kind of manipulated me into staying with him. One of his tactics which he used before with girlfriends was getting a pet. I was younger and naive and fell for is guy, let's call him Nathan and it was my first serious relationship, but later I would find out he wasn't exactly who he made med think he was.
I always wanted to adopt a cat and we ended up adopting two from my friend that was fostering a kitten litter and their mom. Now the one I chose was actually not part of the litter, he was found on the street two days after my friend fostered the kittens and luckily when he was introduced to the litter the mother accepted him. I named him Klaus, the other cat Nathan named Cosmo. They are both very different, Klaus has a dog like personality, he loves to eat and naturally learned to play fetch and is very clumsy, loud ,intelligent, in your face, but very sweet and has never scratched or attacked me. Cosmo is very shy and delicate cat.
Nathan and I started to fight a lot and he got very emotionally manipulative and controlling. Klaus was always such a comfort when I was upset and emotional. I stayed with Nathan because I had hope and I felt like a had a home with him and our cats. I didn't want to leave them. When Nathan crossed the line during a fight I knew it was time to leave. I've thought about leaving before but was worried he wouldn't let me take the cats. I immediately moved out and had to leave the cats behind because where I ended up living didn't allow them.
About 3 months later I decided to take my cats to my father's temporarily until I lived somewhere where I could keep them. Unfortunately Nathan told me he was too close to Cosmo and because he didn't like Klaus he only let me take him. This was fine with me since I was always closer to Klaus and adored him. It was love at first cat, I decided to take him to my fathers temporarily because my father lives in a pretty big home in the suburbs with his wife and another cat and they are both big cat lovers. Their second cat recently passed away and they were very open to taking Klaus. I flew 2 hours to where they live, which was ok, Klaus only meowed a few times and tried to get out of his cage once but overall he dealt with it fine.
This was around two years ago. I recently moved in with my new loving awesome boyfriend of 1.5 years into our own apartment. It's a new building, we are on the 25th floor, one bedroom, around 700 square feet. My boyfriend knows how much I love and miss my cat and is very supportive of me and willing to bringing him back.
Now here lies the problem...my father and I do not have a good relationship because in the past he was abusive and a terrible husband to my mother ( they divorced 20 years ago). His new wife did not want to give Klaus back. Even though the arrangement of keeping Klaus was temporary until I had a home for him with me. After some recent discussion my father and his wife are letting me take Klaus under the condition I never leave him with them again. That's fine with me. My only reason to visit them was to see Klaus anyway. Every time I would visit Klaus he was super happy and purred a lot (he very rarely purrs in general) and would follow me around everywhere. However he is also very attached to my dad now. The other cat my dad has is a shy timid cat and while they do chase and play together at night, during the day they don't hang out or sleep together.
Also, my father and his wife let Klaus outside even though I never wanted him to be an outdoor cat for these reasons: my father lives in the suburbs but they are by busy streets, a lot of neighbors have dogs, and Klaus isn't afraid of anything and will just go up to any dog, so I was worried for his safety that he would get attacked. I also don't want him getting sick from eating grass from my dad's neighbors home that uses pesticide on their lawn. Also Klaus was sprayed in the face by a skunk a few months ago and his entire eye was swollen. I always worried he would get attacked by something bigger then him. My father and his wife also don't buy the best cat food either and Klaus is now a little bit overweight. He's a big breed, I'm not sure what kind, I've been told by friends he looks like a Norwegian Forest or a Maine Coon mix. He weighs about 18-20 pounds now, I think for his breed mix 12-15 is normal.
All in all, I think he would have a happier, safer life with me...but I am kind of on the fence. I've missed him so terribly but I don't want to be selfish. ..Yes he is attached to my father and his wife and has a ton of space and a fellow cat to play with and goes outside...but he would get a ton of attention and affection from me and my boyfriend. However he would be an indoor cat here where I live. And he would be living in a much smaller space with no chance of gong outdoors.. (He live in the city and don't even have a balcony or terrace).
So I am asking you fellow readers what you think you would do in my shoes... Any advice would mean the world to me... I am going to visit my family and where my father lives in about a month. Just to remind Klaus is about 5 years old now and has been living at my father's around 2 1/2 years-3years.
Here is my question and situation for all you feline lovers...I just need some advice and don't really have anywhere to turn. This is a bit long but I want whoever wishes to leave advice to know my full story with my dear cat and I.
About 4 years ago I moved in with my then boyfriend who kind of manipulated me into staying with him. One of his tactics which he used before with girlfriends was getting a pet. I was younger and naive and fell for is guy, let's call him Nathan and it was my first serious relationship, but later I would find out he wasn't exactly who he made med think he was.
I always wanted to adopt a cat and we ended up adopting two from my friend that was fostering a kitten litter and their mom. Now the one I chose was actually not part of the litter, he was found on the street two days after my friend fostered the kittens and luckily when he was introduced to the litter the mother accepted him. I named him Klaus, the other cat Nathan named Cosmo. They are both very different, Klaus has a dog like personality, he loves to eat and naturally learned to play fetch and is very clumsy, loud ,intelligent, in your face, but very sweet and has never scratched or attacked me. Cosmo is very shy and delicate cat.
Nathan and I started to fight a lot and he got very emotionally manipulative and controlling. Klaus was always such a comfort when I was upset and emotional. I stayed with Nathan because I had hope and I felt like a had a home with him and our cats. I didn't want to leave them. When Nathan crossed the line during a fight I knew it was time to leave. I've thought about leaving before but was worried he wouldn't let me take the cats. I immediately moved out and had to leave the cats behind because where I ended up living didn't allow them.
About 3 months later I decided to take my cats to my father's temporarily until I lived somewhere where I could keep them. Unfortunately Nathan told me he was too close to Cosmo and because he didn't like Klaus he only let me take him. This was fine with me since I was always closer to Klaus and adored him. It was love at first cat, I decided to take him to my fathers temporarily because my father lives in a pretty big home in the suburbs with his wife and another cat and they are both big cat lovers. Their second cat recently passed away and they were very open to taking Klaus. I flew 2 hours to where they live, which was ok, Klaus only meowed a few times and tried to get out of his cage once but overall he dealt with it fine.
This was around two years ago. I recently moved in with my new loving awesome boyfriend of 1.5 years into our own apartment. It's a new building, we are on the 25th floor, one bedroom, around 700 square feet. My boyfriend knows how much I love and miss my cat and is very supportive of me and willing to bringing him back.
Now here lies the problem...my father and I do not have a good relationship because in the past he was abusive and a terrible husband to my mother ( they divorced 20 years ago). His new wife did not want to give Klaus back. Even though the arrangement of keeping Klaus was temporary until I had a home for him with me. After some recent discussion my father and his wife are letting me take Klaus under the condition I never leave him with them again. That's fine with me. My only reason to visit them was to see Klaus anyway. Every time I would visit Klaus he was super happy and purred a lot (he very rarely purrs in general) and would follow me around everywhere. However he is also very attached to my dad now. The other cat my dad has is a shy timid cat and while they do chase and play together at night, during the day they don't hang out or sleep together.
Also, my father and his wife let Klaus outside even though I never wanted him to be an outdoor cat for these reasons: my father lives in the suburbs but they are by busy streets, a lot of neighbors have dogs, and Klaus isn't afraid of anything and will just go up to any dog, so I was worried for his safety that he would get attacked. I also don't want him getting sick from eating grass from my dad's neighbors home that uses pesticide on their lawn. Also Klaus was sprayed in the face by a skunk a few months ago and his entire eye was swollen. I always worried he would get attacked by something bigger then him. My father and his wife also don't buy the best cat food either and Klaus is now a little bit overweight. He's a big breed, I'm not sure what kind, I've been told by friends he looks like a Norwegian Forest or a Maine Coon mix. He weighs about 18-20 pounds now, I think for his breed mix 12-15 is normal.
All in all, I think he would have a happier, safer life with me...but I am kind of on the fence. I've missed him so terribly but I don't want to be selfish. ..Yes he is attached to my father and his wife and has a ton of space and a fellow cat to play with and goes outside...but he would get a ton of attention and affection from me and my boyfriend. However he would be an indoor cat here where I live. And he would be living in a much smaller space with no chance of gong outdoors.. (He live in the city and don't even have a balcony or terrace).
So I am asking you fellow readers what you think you would do in my shoes... Any advice would mean the world to me... I am going to visit my family and where my father lives in about a month. Just to remind Klaus is about 5 years old now and has been living at my father's around 2 1/2 years-3years.
