I just found out my cat is terminally ill and the grief is overwhelming

Oh dear, I'm so, so sorry to hear that you're losing your beloved friend. :'( I'm afraid I don't have any advice to give, I just want to say how sorry I am and how sad I am that your poor cat has to leave us soon.

When the time comes you might consider one of vets that comes to your house for PTS.    When I thought my cat might be getting a cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago, I didn't know how I could handle having to bring him to the vets if that was what was in front of me.  This seemed like a much better option for everyone:

http://www.inhomepeteuthanasia.com/

Polly went to the vet this morning and we had a final discussion about treatment options. The vet pulled up lots of data from different cats that the practice has treated to show us the difference between chemo and steroids in cats of a comparable age.  It looks like Polly would only get a couple of extra months with chemo, at most.  I don't want him to struggle through the side-effects for just a few weeks.  He is not even symptomatic (the tumour was found on a routine check) so I want him to keep feeling good for as long as possible.  So the decision we have made is for steroid treatment and to make his life as brilliant as we can.  I can be with him at home the whole time, so he will have plenty of hugs and attention, and I can take action if he feels unwell.  

I also went to the hospital today.  I am scheduled to have a second operation on February 6th and I am full of drugs, some of which make me feel very vulnerable and emotional.  I started sobbing on the way home, and I just couldn't stop.  People were staring at me.  It was awful.  

I just wanted to say some personal thank yous to those who have posted since my last update.

Thank you for thinking of me, JamieP.

wpleary - I am grateful for sharing that with me.  I can tell that it's still very raw for you, and I appreciate you going through that pain again to tell me that you do come out the other side of it.  It sounds like Joey had a lovely life with you and your wife.  You must miss her very much, what an awesome cat.

Reba - I am definitely going to take your advice when the sad day arrives.  I asked the vet today and he does home visits.  

    Hi, Shovetheholly, enjoy every second with your boy. I think he will comfort you are much as you will comfort him. Best of luck with your surgery. You have a lot to deal with. Don't feel bad about crying. I lost it today in my car.

I am so sorry to hear this. I have lost two cats myself a few years back and it is not easy, they are family. Enjoy every moment you can with your guy.

we had someone come to the house to put Min down as well. It went as beautiful as I had hoped it would. (hugs)

My poor boy died last week.  A vet came out to the house.  We buried him during the eclipse, which felt very fitting.

It was the worst thing I've ever had to do and I am really, really not coping right now.  

shovetheholly said:

 
My poor boy died last week.  A vet came out to the house.  We buried him during the eclipse, which felt very fitting.

It was the worst thing I've ever had to do and I am really, really not coping right now.  

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i'm so sorry for your loss.

i lost my boy, mickey, when he was only 12 years old. mickey was and still is the great love of my life. i was devastated. several things helped me move through my grieving and then continue forward in life -- knowing that i did not allow my boy to suffer in the end (even though it broke my heart to have to make the final decision), simply believing in the rainbow bridge (http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm) and knowing/believing that my mickey and i will be reunited one day, and in my case i still have mickey's sister/litter mate with me (she has serious medical issues which are treated under the supervision of our vet, and so needs careful monitoring as well as lots of love).

some people find it helpful to make a photo album of their furbaby, or create a memorial (either inside your home, or outside like planting some special flowering plants or a tree or bush in their memory), and others make a donation to a shelter in their furbaby's name. there is no wrong way or length of time to grieve, it's a very individual process.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, there is nothing anyone can say to comfort at a time like this, just know we are all bonded by the grief we experience when we lost our loved ones. There is no right or wrong way to cope with something like this, each individual has to mourn in their own way. Please keep one thing in mind, your sweet boy would never want you to be so sad when remembering him, he would want you to celebrate those 8 years you had together, he left you a legacy of love and would be honored if one day comes that you could pass his legacy on. My heart goes out to you, I'll pray that your sweet baby made it safely to the Rainbow Bridge and can comfort you from afar. He will always have a place in your heart. Take care....... RIP sweet, sweet boy, you were loved so much!

My heartfelt condolences.

The TCS team would like you to know that we are so very sorry for your loss. Threads are locked after someone has suffered such a loss, as a sign of respect. We invite you to place a tribute at http://www.thecatsite.com/f/19/crossing-the-bridge as an enduring testimony to your friend.

For those who wish to express their condolences and offer some emotional support, Polly's tribute thread is here.