Goodnight little kittie.

My poor little boy, Polly, died last Thursday of lymphoma.  I loved him so much.  I am finding the pain unbearable.  

My heart goes out to you, I know I can offer little in the way of comfort, but I wanted you to know you are not alone in your grief. Those sweet babies have a way of worming their way into our hearts, they take a huge amount of our time and attention and we would want it no other way. The emptiness that comes to our homes is unbearable at times, and the only thing that helps is to remember they would not want us to be so sad when we think of them, they would want us to smile and remember the happy times and know we shared something that some people never will, that great love that filled both of our hearts and souls. The pain IS unbearable at times, time is the only thing that helps to soften the anguish. Let yourself grieve, you have suffered a great loss, I wish I could hug you and say I understand, because I do. Be gentle on yourself and take care, you need kindness and understanding right now, I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. RIP sweet Polly!

Both of our babies look so much alike.... I am sorry for your pain and as I stated in previous thread I do hope that you can get over it fast, but I somehow doubt that any of us can. Yes, pain is unbearable, it is like nothing I have ever experienced before and I did lose my grandparents which meant a whole lot to me...

In the first two weeks what helped me was looking at his photos, touching his toys, covering myself with his blanket, I had a feeling like he was there with me... unfortunately last week I have realized that he is indeed gone forever. And that will hit you hard.

I would suggest you to start writing everything that comes up in your mind on a piece of paper or in a text file... just write, how much you miss your baby, what you are feelings, thinking.... write whenever you feel like crying and let it all out. Talk with people around you, friends, family... just talk to them, keep discussing it with other people... it will help eventually... I hope.

Also, helping a local animal shelter will help you and them A LOT! You get feeling of need, you help other little furry creatures who need love and care and it fills you with sense of doing something good... also it deflects you a bit from your own pain...

Unfortunately I am on the same path and I am not sure what else lies ahead of me... it is a long grief filled road...

I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet Polly. The pain of loss does lessen in time, to be replaced by lots of happy memories of the time you spent together.

Thank you all so much for your kind words.  It helps to hear that the pain will lessen in time, even though it doesn't feel like things will ever be right again at the moment.  Someone once told me that you don't get over grief - you just learn to live with the absence in a new way, like a tree that hits an obstacle and has to grow around it.  

Dalmili - you are right when you say that I haven't yet realised he is gone.  I can feel that I am not at that point.  I am still in shock, in disbelief, and I think bargaining a bit too in my head.  I just keep saying 'I want him back, I want him back, I want him back' and in my head I keep trying to think of things that I could do to make that happen, even though I know it is impossible.  

I buried him in my garden, and today I bought a couple of plants to put on his grave to make it look as pretty as possible. But I can't bear to plant them yet.  It feels too final.  I guess a day will come when I am ready, but I am not there yet.

I will try writing things down.  I am sick at the moment (I had surgery 2 weeks ago), so doing anything more active than that is very difficult.

Rest assured that Polly is now at peace and is pain free. Remember the good times you spent with him. Take as much time as you need to grieve regardless of what people tell you, you have lost a family member not just a pet. Remember him in a way that brings you joy and hold on to those memories. Hugs from all of us here to you and yours.

shovetheholly >> Plant those roses when you feel like it. If you need time, just take it...

I planted some the first day when I burried him, I burried mine about 7 hours after he passed, somehow I didn't want to keep him overnight,  I felt like it would crush me... I have one picture of him dead. His eyes closed, his mouth closed and he looks like he is sleeping...

And yes, you are probably right, we learn to live around that loss, we build around that loss and move on... It is perhaps a bit harder for people who don't have children or older people and their beloved furry friends were everything to them.

If you feel like drawing, that helps a lot too... just draw whatever you feel like, even if you think you don't know how. Let everything out.

brings tears to my eyes, knowing the pain you feel. Many of us have had that pain... it truly is so difficult. All I can say is let yourself grieve...but also may you have the peace knowing you made lil Polly's life the bestest!! I pray you will find comfort as you deal with the sadness. Yes, hang in there..it gets better. I felt I needed to share pictures and talk about my Min when she was gone... please feel free to count on us to listen and share in your memories. xo

I'm so very sorry for your loss.   Be patient and kind to yourself while you grieve.

shovetheholly said:

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• shovetheholly
• Mar 24, 2015

My poor little boy, Polly, died last Thursday of lymphoma.  I loved him so much.  I am finding the pain unbearable.  

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I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful kitty Polly. It is very hard i know and you will cry for sometime even without the drugs that are pulling you down. I lost my beloved lotto a year and a half ago. He was old, nearly 20, and I'd had him since he was 3 months old. He was sent to rainbow bridge at home. I was very ill after and ended up in hospital. I now have 2 new cats who do not replace him but I love them very much. When you miss the weight of him on your knee and you're slowly healing might be the time to think of adopting a kitten.
My thoughts are with you.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost Mr. Grimsby a day later. I go to bed crying and wake up crying. He used to sleep with me, or on the heated pillow next to my bed. Every time I walk into the bedroom, I expect to see him looking up at me expectantly. So, I printed off a photo I have of him (you can see it in my thread about Mr. Grimsby and me), bought a locket, and put some of his fur in it. I attached the locket and his rabies tag to a charm bracelet and hung it over the picture frame. I stood two candles behind it on my bedside table. So now I do see his beautiful face when I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning.

I'm also spending a lot of time on Catsite and Tanya's CKD Loss Group. As Dalimili suggests, it helps to write things down. And it really helps to share your pain with this group. I think we've all been there and know exactly what you're going through.

It's been five days now and I'm adjusting to my loss. It will take a long time, but I know that Mr. Grimsby is no longer suffering and that comforts me somewhat.

I hope you recover soon from your surgery. At least, maybe you can sit outside at Polly's grave and keep him company while you recover.

BTW, how did Polly get his name?

Best regards,

Phyllis

I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time.

RIP Polly

What a sweet picture.  I'm very sorry for your loss of your boy.

Thank you, all of you, for all of your thoughts and kind words.  It really does help.

It was a week ago yesterday that he passed.  I sat where he died, and looked at pictures of him, and cried.  When I feel bad, I wear his collar around my wrist and this helps to calm me a little.  

I am struggling to cope still.  I'm not able to work or to function at any high level.  But I am trying to keep busy, doing little jobs around the house, baking, and generally being gentle to myself. I cry a whole lot, and I look a complete mess most of the time.  I was looking at some old pictures of Polly and me yesterday and I have aged so much in the last few months with the illness, stress, and grief.  

Starting next week, I am going to try to go outside and do a bit of exercise.  A friend of mine just got diagnosed with a horrible disease, and I am going to do a sponsored run to raise some money for her.  This will help to stop me brooding so much over it, I think.

Phyllis- I am so, so sorry for your loss.  You express how I feel perfectly - it is the little absences, the little routines that are gone that hurt so much.  You sound like a wonderful person and a lovely cat owner, and I am sure My Grimbsy enjoyed every beautiful second of his life with you.  To answer your question, my ex-partner named my cat Apollo, but I never liked it - it seemed too pompous for a cat who was so sweet and good-natured - so I shortened it to Polly, sometimes Pollard, and that stuck!  It used to create a lot of confusion every time we went to the vet together! 

Beautiful Polly 

PHarber-Murphy said:

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost Mr. Grimsby a day later. Igo to bed crying and wake up crying. He used to sleep with me, or on the heated pillow next to my bed. Every time I walk into the bedroom, I expect to see him looking up at me expectantly. So, I printed off a photo I have of him (you can see it in my thread about Mr. Grimsby and me), bought a locket, and put some of his fur in it. I attached the locket and his rabies tag to a charm bracelet and hung it over the picture frame. I stood two candles behind it on my bedside table. So now I do see his beautiful face when I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning.

I'm also spending a lot of time on Catsite and Tanya's CKD Loss Group. As Dalimili suggests, it helps to write things down. And it really helps to share your pain with this group. I think we've all been there and know exactly what you're going through.

It's been five days now and I'm adjusting to my loss. It will take a long time, but I know that Mr. Grimsby is no longer suffering and that comforts me somewhat.

I hope you recover soon from your surgery. At least, maybe you can sit outside at Polly's grave and keep him company while you recover.

BTW, how did Polly get his name?

Best regards,

Phyllis

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I am sorry for your loss.
Please be careful with the candles. They're a fire hazard.

  Condolences on losing your dear boy Polly!  I like the Damilili's ideas, especially writing things down. When I lost my beloved Joey, in 2009, I created a journal titled "Losing Joey" and it helps me to read it, esp on holidays and other sensitive times, such as after burying my Little Friskies (Gracie) earlier this week. I too, find myself viewing pics and videos of Gracie on my cell phone when I am supposed to be texting instead, and although it makes me tear up, it also gives me comfort to remember her and to continue to thank Heaven for allowing her to be in my life.

The looks of your Polly and my Polly are almost the same, also both there, waiting for us. My condolences.