CHF Cat Died from Blood Clot to Hind Legs

Today I have had to face my worst fears.  I posted on this site back in 2012 after my cat Tabby spent 2 nights in ICU and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.  No one knew if he would pull through, but he did.  It was a rough road to recovery, but with meds he managed very well for the past two years.  

This morning my worst nightmare happened.  Everything was normal, he ate breakfast and went outside in the back yard.  A short time later, I heard him meowing and when I went to look out the door, he was dragging his hind legs trying to get to the back door.  In my heart I knew what this probably was, and that there was no good outcome.   My heart raced, I grabbed him into my arms, hoping he had been hit by a car and only had a broken leg.  Deep down I knew better, I had done a lot of research online and knew the high possibility of him developing a blood clot with his heart condition.  Needless to say, I got to the vets office in less than 5 minutes, and begged them for pain medication.  They gave him a couple of shots and checked his back legs, the paws were cold.  This indicated the blood clot.  I had no time to even make a decision.  I asked them to calm him while I tried to deal with the trauma.  They gave him gas to put him under while I held him and cried my eyes out.  I then had to make the decision to let him go, because he was in great  pain and there is no cure.  

I promised him 2 yrs. ago that I wouldn't put him through too much trauma, he was a feral cat and was always terrified of the vet visits.  He did go back to ICU once after the first episode, and I could see it took a lot out of him.  That is when I made the promise to him.  The vet told me the it is very hard to control the pain once there is a clot, and that with his advanced heart condition there was little chance of saving him.  Even if they did, he would probably just throw another clot very soon after.  I felt so helpless, one minute everything was fine, the next minute I'm having my baby put to sleep.

 I'm still in shock, and the house is so empty tonight without him.  My husband and I divorced right after Tabby was diagnosed, so I've been handling his care all on my own for the past two years.  Now the house is too quiet.  He was my very best friend, and got me through some really tough times while I was going through my divorce.  Now I feel like somehow I let him down because I had to make a horrible decision.  I wasn't given a choice, it feels so unfair.  He was the most well-behaved, most loving creature that ever came into my life.  Now in an instant, he's gone and his food bowl sits empty.  Sleeping tonight without him next to me in my bed will be very difficult.  Waking up tomorrow morning and not giving him his baby food and medicine will be even harder.  I don't know how this pain in my heart will ever heal.  It feels like my heart is broken into a million pieces.  

I guess since everyone was so supportive on this site 2 yrs. ago, it just seemed like the right place to come back to and try to find some comfort in writing it all down in words.  Thank you for listening.  My dearest Tabby, Mom will miss you forever in ways you can't imagine.  I love you my dear boy.

bgregory, you didn't let Tabby down. You did a very loving thing even though it was so painful for you that it is tearing you apart. He was in pain. There was no cure. He could die slowly, in agony. Or you could - loving him as much as you do - spare him.

Be comforted that you gave him two good years beyond his congestive heart failure. Many of us here have suffered through the pain of deciding to send a cat over the Rainbow Bridge. All I can say is better an hour too soon than a day too late. I wish knew something that would ease your sorrow. But only time will ease it.

Thank you for your kind words.  My heart hurts tonight.  I just miss him so much.  I've been through the loss with other pets, but it hurts the same every time with each one.

This is making me cry to read. I lost my dear Sammy in August from the same thing. He was 14 and had no diagnosed heart disease. One moment he was fine and the next he wasn't. It was such a shock to put him down within an hour from when it started. The only savIng grace was my DIL who was visiting. She is an ER vet tech and she knew what was happening, I would have thought it was trauma and he would have been in pain longer.

Reading about Tabby is making me feel so bad for you. A blood clot doesn't give you anytime to come to grips with what is happening and decisions need to be made quickly. My pain has lessened finally when I think of my Sammy, he was such a lover. I still get little stabs of pain when I have a memory of him when I see one of the other cats doing something he did. You'll get through this and it won't be easy, he's been a big part of your life. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself as you grieve, you have all of my sympathies. At least you were there with him when it happened so he wasn't in pain for long. You did the best thing for him and quickly, take comfort in that. No matter how many pets, this never gets easier.

I lost a kitty in June to the same thing.  I know how hard it is when there's nothing you can do, and the decision must be made on the spot.  I'm so very, very sorry for your loss of your beautiful baby.  

Thank you for your post Jean-Ji.  I'm so sorry you also had to endure this agonizing pain and grief with the loss of your dear Sammy.  With Tabby it was appx. a half an hour (if that) between the time I grabbed him in my arms, rushed him to the vet and he was gone.  I'm still in total shock.  I took the day off from work and just stayed home and cried.  I am lucky to have some wonderful friends who did their best to get me through the day, bless their hearts.  You are right, the only thing getting me through this is knowing that it could have happened when I wasn't here, which would have been horrific for Tabby.  At least he knew I was right there until the end, and I can only hope that even in the trauma, somehow he knew that.  I held him and told him how  much I love him.  I just don't know how I will be able to sleep tonight without my dear boy at my feet.

Thank you Betsygee, I appreciate your words of comfort.  I'm sorry that you and others have had to experience the same thing.  It just seems so unfair that our fur babies give us so much love and then have to endure such a hardship.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Our last cat had chronic heart disease (HCM) and several bouts of CHF - my greatest fear was losing him to a saddle thrombosis. You didn't let Tabby down, but gave him all the love and good care in the world, then let him go peacefully in order to spare him fear and pain.

RIP, Tabby.

I'm so very sorry for the pain you are going through, I know that words cannot convey the comfort I wish to give you. My dear Burt has just been diagnosed with an enlarged heart too, and I fear the blood clots also, I can only pray and hope I don't have to go through the same thing. Thank God you were there to bring him in right away, the terrible decision you had to make was truly the only thing you could have done, with no 'cure', he would have been destined to repeat the same agony. My heart goes out to you, I know the loneliness and the adjustment to an empty house is like a  never ending nightmare. When you love someone so much and have cared for them for so long, it takes a long time to mend that broken heart. Let the love you two shared comfort you, I pray you both find peace. Take care of yourself, I'm happy you have supportive people around to share your grief, a little of the pain escapes when you can share it with another. RIP beautiful Tabby!

Thank you Di and Bob for your very caring and comforting words.  I woke up to an empty house this morning for the first time in over 12 yrs., and it is a feeling like no other.  Your kind words helped to ease the pain and somehow I will muster up the strength to get through another day.

PS-I am very sorry to hear about your dear Burt.   Hopefully he will have a good quality of life like my Tabby did for several years to come.

Thank you Jcat, your words are very kind and comforting.  I just feel slighted because I wasn't given any time to prepare, nor was Tabby.  It all happened so fast, I simply reacted and didn't even have time to think about what was happening.  Tabby was scared and panicked, and that is the hardest part of it all.  That is the memory I have, it is so very unfair to both of us.  I guess that is the way it is sometimes.  I did the only thing I knew to do, and made the decision without any other choice, other than to let him continue to hurt and be scared.  I loved him too much to see him in that kind of pain.  I'm trying to find peace with it, but it will take time.

 We had to make that quick decision for Molly, too, with no time to say good-bye, really.  We hadn't had her nearly as long as you had your boy so it's not the same kind of pain.  I can't imagine having to do that for a companion of 12 years.  But you did the right thing--it was the most loving thing you could have done for him under the circumstances.  

Thank you Betsygee.

That's terrible. Im sorry bgregory. Sudden death is excruciating, as is putting down our family. You didnt let it down, it had to be done. The choice was taken away from you my friend it wasn't a choice of maybe you literally HAD to do it. 

Thank you catconcern.  That is what made it so difficult, I was left without an option.  It feels so unfair to have been forced to have to make such a final decision.  I feel like my kitty was looking to me for help, and I couldn't help him.  It haunts me.  I'm trying to find peace with it, I hope I can in time.

Bgregory I made a decision which I believe cost my boy his life prematurely. I know it's no consolation to you or doesn't take away your pain, but sometimes it's better to have no other option. I did, and I believe I made the wrong one. I would rather my choice have been a forced one, so then I wouldn't have made a mistake.

Nonetheless, I'm not taking anything away from you. It is your pain and it is very real. You did help your baby. You had to end the suffering 100 percent. You.l couldn't let your cat live with that kind of pain. That was worse than death what your baby was going through.

You did help your baby. You had no other option. You did the right thing and the only thing and acted in your cats best interest. I know it sucks that it happened the way it did.

Catconcern, thank you.  I'm sorry you had to make a choice you feel was not right, but you must realize that you did the best you could at the time with the circumstances you were faced with.  I think that no matter what the circumstances are that we are faced with, we will always second guess ourselves, wondering if we did the right thing, and then suffer through the feelings of guilt.  If you acted out of love, then you did nothing wrong, no matter the outcome.  As pet owners we are ultimately oftentimes faced with impossible decisions, and must do the best we can.  I'm trying to accept that I did the best I could, and I'm sure you did too.  It's just hard to see through the grief.

I'm so sorry.  Please don't think you let Tabby down.  We have to speak for our animals and do what we think is right.  That's the best anyone can do.  You were a comfort to the end.   I remember the vet from the emergency animal clinic calling us around 4:00 in the morning to tell us Garfield was gone.  I knew when the phone rang something terrible had happened...most calls at that hour are bad. Garth was very old and he had a blood clot, along with other potentially fatal conditions.  The vet told us that he had done CPR and that haunted me for the longest time.  I thought about our cat, alone and scared, not knowing what was happening to him, maybe being hurt, because CPR is rough.  Then I realized that I should be thankful that the vet tried so hard.  I am not trying turn this into a situation about me.   I just want you to know that the guilty feeling seems to come, no matter what, for those who love and care.  Bless you.   

I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved cat Tabby.
My condolences to you and your family.
I just recently lost my outdoor cat, Wah Wah. He is 2.5 yr old, He loves to eat and would always be the first when dinner arrives. I really missed him and his cute little face. He let you know if he wants second..with that cutie pie look, I can't resist and ends up feeding seconds or give him little treats. His death is still a mystery...did someone ran him over? Or died from illness? He act and look fine that evening...later was found deadon the curb/sidewalk. My sister just came home and thought he was sleeping, but when she got closer..he was already gone. Im so heart broken and it hurts when I think about him. I did a lot of searching and found that cat can get heart disease at very young age. I wish Wah Wah was still here with. His life on earth was way to short.