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sigh.... well it ever get easier?

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
Well today has been a hard day for all of the family. It is the 1 month anniversary of my Dad's death God I miss Dad!

I hope that one day this pain want be as bad. I feel like I did the day he died and it's like that everyday.
post #2 of 20
((((Cathi)))) I'm so sorry dear. I can't even imagine since I haven't lost a parent yet. I believe your dad is still with you, if that helps any.
post #3 of 20

Cathi, it does get easier. It never stops hurting, but it does get easier. The first year is the worst - it will always be the first Christmas, birthday, Easter, Father's Day without him there. Each one of those will open up the hurt again, just when you thought it was getting easier to deal with day to day.

I know, I lost my mother 4 years ago this coming January. It still hasn't stopped hurting, and I still cry sometimes when I think about her. But the memories are more and more about the wonderful times we had, things that just remind me of her. Not about the pain as much anymore.
post #4 of 20
(((( Cathi))) Have a hug
post #5 of 20
hey cathi,

I know it's tough for you and your family now. Please hang it there and I assured you that it will get better.

post #6 of 20
I lost my dad when I was 19. That was over 17 years ago. I still find it tough at times. I'll be doing something that reminds me of him and get caught up in the moment. To this day, I still shed tears.

I also lost mom (it'll be 3 years Nov 28) She had a fatal car accident on Nov 20th and was on life support. I've had a terrible time trying to move on and not think about that but I can't. I miss her just as much today as if she only left yesterday.

Just remember and treasure all of the good times you had together.

1 month is definately not long... there are many phases of mourning.

I'm sure it will get easier for you in time but right now, maybe you are going through what you need to go through. I say cry if you need to. Maybe you just need to let out your grief. You may feel alot better after. Sit down and write him a letter and express all your emotions.

If you find you are still not feeling a bit better, call around and see if there are any grief counsellors around. Sometimes we just need an extra shoulder to lean on and they do provide support and lend an ear when needed.

Good luck to you and hang in there....

Please don't let yourself go. If you have been feeling that way everyday since he passed away, you need to take care of yourself. I think that's one thing he would have wanted.
post #7 of 20
It will, but don't rush it. You need time to grieve. It's healthy. My Mom and I still cry over her Dad sometimes, but it's not 90% of the time anymore. It's rarely now.
post #8 of 20
post #9 of 20
post #10 of 20
I'm sorry Cathi. I lost my dad 3 years ago, and it does get easier with time. It hasn't gone away completely for me, but I hope it never does. I have come to find the moments or days that for whatever reason trigger memories of my dad and bring on such sadness as special in their own right and I feel closer to him at those times. It is hard and still so new for you. Just take care of your family and yourself and know it's healthy to feel the pain that you do, and it will not always be so hard.
post #11 of 20
post #12 of 20
It was 15 years in May since my Mum died. Yes, it gets easier. No, it doesn't go away. And, like Big Kat, I hope it never does. The first year is the hardest, each time an "occasion" comes around and the loved one is not there to share it. But once you've been through them all once, you're a little more prepared, a little less shocked, each time. The first time you realize you're no longer feeling horrible all the time, you'll probably feel guilty about feeling more human. It's Ok to feel better. And sooner than you think, your tears will be happening with a wistful little smile on your face, or maybe even over a laugh.

Hang in there! Let yourself grieve, and soon your remembering will be with joy rather than sorrow. What is "soon"? Only YOU know that -- and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And in the meantime, hold up your family, and let them hold you -- and come spill it here if you need to. Lotsa hugs.
post #13 of 20
Everything is still fresh, the pain, the loss. I hope you and your family pull together for strength. I am so sorry for the pain you are suffering!
post #14 of 20
Oh God Cathi! I'm so sorry! I can't help you because I have never lost any one really close!!!! Loveyah hun and I'm sure it will get easier!
post #15 of 20
(((Hugs))) to you and your family Cathi!
post #16 of 20
Cathi, things will get better within time. I am having a difficult time still with my grandmother's death. Especially, today that my aunt is very sick...my grandmother would always comfort us when we were sick or someone in the family was very ill...I miss her bunches!! Cathi, I will say a little prayer for you. Take care sweetie!
post #17 of 20
Cathi, my thoughts are with you. It does take a long time to deal with the pain. I have lost both my parents, mom 5 years ago and dad 3 years ago. It does get easier, but it still hurts alot especially on the anniversary of their deaths. I had a hard time in August on anniversary of dad's death, but I posted about it here and felt better talking to friends. We are here for you hun.
post #18 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I think I have cried a river of tears since Dad died. I think of him constantly and dream of him every night. I am glad that I have all of my TCS friends to let me cry on your shoulders I want to be strong for Mom and the rest of the family but sometimes it is so hard

Mom and my sister, brother and I went to visit his grave and chat with Dad for a little while a couple of weeks ago. It would be easier on us all if we could go and visit more often since he is buried in my Mom's home town that is 3 hours away.

I want be able to rest until we get his marker put on his grave. I just can't stand the thought of his final resting place not being marked so anyone walking through there can't tell who he is It should be ready in about a week. I dread Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. It just want be the same without him.
post #19 of 20
maybe if I go to bed and go to sleep it want be so painful. just dread the morning cause I got to get up. I want my Daddy.
post #20 of 20
It will get easier I promise. My mother passed away on my Birthday. My first Birthday after she passed on, was really painful and strange. I felt like I shouldn't celebrate, knowing it was the anniversary of my Mothers passing. Now, it's just my Birthday to me. I know my mother passed on on my Birthday, but it just feels like my Birthday, and I'm able to have a good time. You will have less pain as time moves on.
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