Who is/was your father?

I last did a thread like this two years ago for Father's Day:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/245151/whos-your-father

There was another thread a few years before that too, and they are both tearjerkers. I always get a bit sentimental and melancholy this time of year. Father's Day is Sunday and the 25th will be the 6th anniversary of his death. It's hard to believe it has been six years.




Who is/was your father, be it birth, adopted or father of your heart?


My father was a milkman. Yep, a door-to-door bringing the milk in glass bottles milkman. He loved his job. Years later you could be driving down a road with him and he could tell you which houses he delivered milk to and what their order normally was. He was born as one of 13 children to a French Canadian mother and father and they were very proud of their heritage. He loved his three kids and always worried about us. He had seven grandchildren that he adored. I think of him very often and my husband and I were just talking about him yesterday. We had a new roof put on the house this week and if he were still alive he would have come over with a lawn chair and watched the show. :lol3:

Aww! This thread... I can already foresee the feels. ALL the feels.


My father works in shipping and receiving at a tourist attraction back home. He came to Canada with his parents, his father having swam from China to Hong Kong first, and siblings when he was 10, but they wrote his age as 8 on his entrance documents (this was back in the 50s, not quite a friendly time for Chinese entering Canada). They were sponsored in by his maternal grandparents -- and I could go back 3 generations of fatherly heroes -- and my dad finished school with a BA and started a family. By the time I came along, he was working two jobs, the second in a restaurant, and I recall sitting awake at 11pm back when I was 4 or 5 just waiting, and even wishing on a star for my dad's car to pull into the driveway so I could go bounding down the stairs into his arms. He fondly recalls when my mom and I returned from a trip to China, little me just making a mad dash for him to hug me, and then tell him in detail all about watching my grandma slaughter a chicken, of which he seems to be much less fond.

As I got older, he was able to quit that second job and relax around the house more. As the only girl and the youngest, he's always doting and checking up on me and making sure I have enough food and money, buying me and my pets things when he sees them and thinks of me. In my childhood, we would go to the horse tracks where they had a petting zoo for kids, or African Lion Safari practically every weekend, and even now he still takes me to exhibits he can sneak me into and cool promotional things he wouldn't have the nerve to do, like whitewater jetboating. He is, of course, crazy about my nephew, his first grandson. We Skype or email about once a week and I like to visit as much as I can because I really do miss home, and this thread just reminds me even more.

A very Happy Father's Day to all the fathers and fatherly figures, whether they're still with us or departed!

My dad is an amazing man. He's done so much for me, more than anyone!

Within the past 2 years--
• As soon as I told him I had Thyroid Cancer, he dropped the phone, left work early and immediately picked up my mom drove out 45 minutes so I won't be alone that night.
• He took off from work and spent the entire day at the hospital with me, and waited for me to get out of surgery (I kept telling him to go to work, its OK!)
• He knew of the stress I've been under during the whole Thyroid Cancer episode, and many hospital/doctor visits.. he treated me to a trip to Jamaica because he knew I needed it

• He decided to loan me money to purchase a Co-op because he can't stand to see me living in a tiny apartment anymore. He also knew I'd be saving money in the long run- of course, it's a loan and I will be paying him back
• He said he'd install for security system in my Co-op, because he wants to see to it that I am safe.
• After finding said Co-op, he even drove the neighborhood in the middle of the night on a saturday night to see what kind of people are out and about.

Last week in turn, I sent him a big fruit basket with a heartfelt thank you note.. he cried when he called to thank me.

He's done so much for me, I don't think he even understands how much I appreciate and love him.

*Cue more Feels.*

I'm blessed with 2 dads; my biological father and my step-father.  Things haven't always been perfect with either of them but; I love them both.   And so do my kids.

My father works in the aviation industry as an inspector for a company that refurbishes airplanes.  He also gives the A&P licensing exams for the FAA and has worked as an instructor in the past as well.  Dad loves race cars and still has one he raced when he was younger.  I've referred to it as his first child.    He's a jack-of-all-trades when it comes to just about anything mechanical.  I call him for advice on house repairs and improvements!  I have no biological siblings; but I had 2 stepbrothers through most of my school years.  He and my step-mother divorced close to 15 years ago but the step-brothers still talk to my Dad and visit when they are in town.  His divorce from the step-mother was one of the best things that could have happened between he and I.  She was a troubled person who grew up in an abusive home and their marriage was difficult.  Once she was out of the picture he and I became close.  I think it helped I was in college by this point.  He is now with a fantastic lady I can't say enough good things about.  My kids love them both. 

My step-dad is also an inspector in the aviation industry (he and my Dad actually have the same name too... ) working for a private jet company.  He is also retired military and has a private pilots license.  He has 4 kids from his first marriage and now a total of 5 grandkids counting mine.  Also like my dad, he loves muscle cars and racing (watching, not participating).  Because we live in the same area; he was always the one to get the call when I had car trouble.  My kids adore him and have since birth.  When they were fussy babies we'd give them to him and they'd be asleep on his chest in no time. 

My daddy RIP was the best daddy a girl could want.

I had a big post written out but I couldn't finish it. It made me cry.

I'm fortunate. At age 100 dad is still alive and living at  home with my brother for company.  In his working years he was the controller of several hotels, and  we lived in whichever one he was assigned to, our room, laundry,cleaning & meals were all included.  Worked his way up to home office of one major chain, then a better offer from another, then controller of a major California golf/resort area  till he retired. He was tough, and I never got away with anything, specially with money. I remember asking for a quarter once and he said no . I whined that he didn't even know why I wanted it, and he replied, "Doesn't matter." Funny now, but not then!

My father was a steelworker, who served in the Army in WWII (they had me very late in life). He met my mother in England during the war. He died in October, 1999.  He always wanted to live to see the Year 2000. He nearly made it.

He did work very hard, and always saved money so we'd be secure. Those were his good points; and good points they were. However, he was abusive and cruel toward me, and I can't say that I liked him. I feel so horrible saying that, but I have to be honest. I would've done anything for him, out of familial loyalty, but I cannot say that I loved or even liked him. He did his best to make life miserable for us, apart from the financial security aspect. I felt sorry for him during his last illness. I don't like the fact that he's dead, and never wished it upon him, but I must admit that I'm glad that I no longer have to fear him. I still have nightmares about his abuse, though.

MargeCat said:

 
My father was a steelworker, who served in the Army in WWII (they had me very late in life). He met my mother in England during the war. He died in October, 1999.  He always wanted to live to see the Year 2000. He nearly made it.

He did work very hard, and always saved money so we'd be secure. Those were his good points; and good points they were. However, he was abusive and cruel toward me, and I can't say that I liked him. I feel so horrible saying that, but I have to be honest. I would've done anything for him, out of familial loyalty, but I cannot say that I loved or even liked him. He did his best to make life miserable for us, apart from the financial security aspect. I felt sorry for him during his last illness. I don't like the fact that he's dead, and never wished it upon him, but I must admit that I'm glad that I no longer have to fear him. I still have nightmares about his abuse, though.

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It sounds like your father was from the same generation as mine.  He was born in 1913, he was in his early 40s when I was born.  He had to drop out of college because of money issues during the depression.  He had been raised by an aunt and uncle because his mother died of TB when he was 18 months old.  He took over his uncle's farm to save it from foreclosure during the depression.  He didn't go into the military during the depression because family farmers were exempted from the draft, that was before factory farms and they needed all family farms to be working farms to supply enough food for the war effort.

My father was also a hard man, a believer in corporal punishment, a frugal saver with very high standards that were impossible to meet.  I also feared my father until he passed away 6 years ago.  I think people, especially the men, of that era had a hard edge to them.  I think a lot of it is that they were a product of the times that they came of age in.

Let's just say he was and will always be my hero. There are just no words to write more. :nod:

My dad was an alcoholic, drug addict, and all-around bad human being. I remember the night my mom took me and my little bro, and left for good. We'd come home from somewhere and my dad was high...there was yelling, a thrown lamp, more yelling, and then we left.

Although I didn't fully understand it at the time (I was five years old), I came to deeply appreciate what my mom did. Not just her courage to leave, but to take on the enormous task of raising two kids by herself. There were periods of visitation and weekend visits when my dad was able to get sober, but he always relapsed. I think the last straw was when he drove drunk with me and my brother in the car. My mom wouldn't let him see us after that, but we'd get phone calls from him, usually around the holidays when he was drunk or high and was feeling sorry for himself.

I always thought there would be some sort of closure with my dad. There wasn't. He eventually returned to Greece (where he grew up), where he lived out his last days ailing from all the damage he'd done to himself. In 2007, I was at work when I got a call that my dad had died a week earlier, and because of the language barrier between my family here and my Greek relatives, it was a week before we got word. I couldn't even go to the funeral.

But I did learn an important lesson, which is that life is messy and things like closure usually only exist in the movies. I was lucky enough to have a few good male role models growing up, not quite surrogate fathers, but men I could look up to and learn from.

And if this all seems like a bummer, the silver lining is that my brother just had a kid last year, and he's an incredible dad to her. I've also helped out by babysitting more times than I can count, which has kind of been like a boot camp for when I have kids. Now I know how to change a diaper, how to burp a baby, how to get her to sleep, how to dress her, how to entertain her for hours when I'm babysitting...I'm gonna be a pro by the time I have a kid!

Plan said:

 
But I did learn an important lesson, which is that life is messy and things like closure usually only exist in the movies. I was lucky enough to have a few good male role models growing up, not quite surrogate fathers, but men I could look up to and learn from.

And if this all seems like a bummer, the silver lining is that my brother just had a kid last year, and he's an incredible dad to her. I've also helped out by babysitting more times than I can count, which has kind of been like a boot camp for when I have kids. Now I know how to change a diaper, how to burp a baby, how to get her to sleep, how to dress her, how to entertain her for hours when I'm babysitting...I'm gonna be a pro by the time I have a kid!

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I think the only good thing about having a parent like that is learning how not to live and for some; instilling the drive to be different.  I see it with my ex-step-brothers.  They aren't dads yet but one is getting married soon.  I think they'll do just fine when the time comes.