Who's your father?

AbbysMom

At Abby's beck and call
Thread starter
Staff Member
Moderator
Joined
May 18, 2005
Messages
78,303
Purraise
19,406
Location
Massachusetts
I last did a thread like this three years ago for Father's Day:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/199221/whos-your-father

Reading it now had me in tears again, for the sentiments, the members that I know have lost their father since then and the member that we have lost. :heart2:

I think it's time for a new thread....




Who is/was your father, be it birth, adopted or father of your heart?




My father was a milkman. Yep, a door-to-door bringing the milk in glass bottles milkman. He loved his job. Years later you could be driving down a road with him and he could tell you which houses he delivered milk to and what their order normally was. He was born as one of 13 children to a French Canadian mother and father and they were very proud of their heritage. He loved his three kids and always worried about us. He had seven grandchildren that he adored. On the 25th it will be four years since we've lost him. :rbheart:
 
Last edited:

kailie

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jan 20, 2010
Messages
9,025
Purraise
25
Location
New Brunswick, Canada
My biological father was never in my life. I've never met him, although we exchanged a few brief Facebook messages a few years back. I had a very abusive stepfather in my teenaged years.

That being said I was VERY lucky to have 2 wonderful father figures in my life. The first is Pop, my grandfather. (Mom's dad.) He passed when I was 18 and to this day I miss him terribly and think of him all the time. He was an incredible man. I was his first and favorite grandchild and we had a super special bond.

The second is Donnie, the man my Grandmother married when I was 2. (She was divorced from my Grandfather.) Donnie babysat us growing up and taught me SO many things. He is so kindhearted, wonderful, non judgmental and completely loving. I have always considered him like a father to me and love him SO much.
 
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
Awwww................... :heart3: yes, reading the other thread brought tears to my eyes too. :heart3:

My dad was a physicist, who worked for a defense company interpreting radiation data from behind "the iron curtain." (In the 50s, early 60s). He got fed up with management, and decided to change careers. He got a scholarship to Northwestern University, got his PhD in Organizational Business Management, and became a Professor. So when I was a kid, my Dad was a student and grad assistant. :lol3: It was nice for me, he was around during they day a lot, and we always went camping for summer vacations.

My Dad's body is still with us. He is in long term care now, but his memory and motor skills are gone. He knows who we are when he's talking to us, but either he can't get the words to his mouth, or his mind isn't thinking much about anything these days. He doesn't do much talking, but does a lot of listening, and generally seems to understand what he hears. He loves when my mom reads books to him, their dog, and watching movies. He's still a very sweet man, who still makes people smile. :heart3:
 

jennyr

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 6, 2004
Messages
13,348
Purraise
593
Location
The Land of Cheese
I lost my father in January this year, at the age of 98, so the family are still coming to terms with him not being there, though he was in care for the last three years. I wrote and delivered the eulogy at his funeral and in it I emphasised the high standards he had in everything he did, a trait he tried very hard to instill in us. He was a naval scientist by profession, who loved travel and new experiences, and valued education above all else, whether formal or self-taught. He and my mother went through so many sacrifices to make sure their 4 children were well-educated, not just at school but through other learning opportunities, like meeting people from different cultures, holiday travel and reading a wide variety of books. I have so much to be grateful to him for, and I know I did not always appreciate what he was doing, especially as a rebellious teenager. He gave me self-confidence, a love of art and literature, and not least, taught me to enjoy good food and wine! Thank you, dad.
 

goonie

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Sep 1, 2007
Messages
588
Purraise
24
Location
riverside, ca
i'm from Germany. my father was a big animal &nature lover. we had horses and he also raised Schnauzers. i remember going to lots of dog shows as a kid and also the walks through the forests he'd take me and my 3 sisters on. i lost him in march '82 when i was 24 years old. his work, he was a prison guard, called him in on his day off to work a shift and he got killed in an accident. it was a day before my youngest sisters 16th birthday.  i still miss him a lot. i could not have wished for better parents
 

Draco

NOT Malfoy!
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Messages
8,721
Purraise
2,780
Location
LawnGuyLand, NY
My dad is a vice president for an insurance company. He's looking to retire, but thanks to insurance, he can't yet.

He LOVES Lionel Trains and spends most of his time in the basement or online buying trains, lol. You can see his website that I created for him for christmas 2 years ago at www.warrenvillerailroad.com (and he drives me NUTS with constant updates!!!)

He is the most generous man I know. When I got laid off from work a few years ago, he paid my rent for 9 months until I got a job and took over the rent. He paid for half of my jeep when I bought it. And he still asks if I need help with rent every month. He looks after me in every way and is sincerely concerned about my wellbeing, especially that I am still single and not interested in looking for a husband!

It's not always the 'big' things he does for me as I mentioned in my last paragraph.. it's also the little things. He'd buy a bag of cat litter for me just because. He went out of his way to try to find a DSLR Camera Strap in Disney that I saw someone had and loved. He looked in every store for it (but it was old and no longer made!) and he remembered to look on Amazon for it. He'd call me just to say "I love you" and nothing more.

I remember the morning if his 2 week cruise with my mom, leaving me and my sister alone for the week.. my cockatiel died. I was so upset, he did what he thought was the best thing.. he took me to get another bird (Love bird), when I knew he had to get ready for the trip. He didn't want to wait till he got back and he was upset about leaving me behind when I had lost my beloved pet. I was about 16 too.

He recently got a tattoo (after yelling at me for getting one).. of a heart and dagger that says "Love of Family" on it, with 3 stars representing his 3 grandkids from my sister. I thought this was really sweet of him.

Writing this makes me realize that i have no idea what I'd do without him. He isn't in the greatest of health, and i know he is very depressed. he has rhumatoric arthritis and it's been really slowing him down and I know he's in constant pain all the time. He won't consider anti-depressants which we all know he needs. He has too much pride for that.

I love my Daddy :heart:
 
Last edited:

luvmyparker

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 19, 2010
Messages
1,312
Purraise
64
Location
Nova Scotia
My biological father was abusive to my brother and mother. I wasn't legally allowed to be around him until I was 18. I've met him twice. Talked to him on the phone twice and decided he wasn't worth being in my life. He has a bunch of kids all over the place he doesn't look after. 

I've had a stepfather since I was 4. We got along when I was child but once he became an alcoholic during my teenage years, we stopped being so close. He is sober now and still in my life but we aren't all that close. 

I am not sure what its like to have a true honest, loving, caring, affectionate father. 
 

blueyedgirl5946

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Sep 10, 2005
Messages
14,593
Purraise
1,695
This is a happy and sad thread all in one.  It makes me realize how fortunate we were to have the father we did.  He was a carpenter by trade.  Our mother left him when I was three years old.  With the help of his parents, he raised me and my sisters.  He never looked at women until we were grown, then he remarried and gave us a wonderful stepmother.  All our lives, We knew for a long time he still loved our mother and she still loved him.  He always encouraged us to have a relationship with her and he never allowed anything negative to be said about her.  He was past ninety when he left us.  We were so blessed.  He was truly the Father of my heart.  I miss him so much it hurts. 
 

ldg

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 25, 2002
Messages
41,310
Purraise
842
Location
Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
He LOVES Lionel Trains and spends most of his time in the basement or online buying trains, lol. You can see his website that I created for him for christmas 2 years ago at www.warrenvillerailroad.com (and he drives me NUTS with constant updates!!!)
My dad was HUGE into model railroading! Not Lionel, but HO scale in general. His club was closed for a year for remodeling, so the group met at our home every Friday night. They built a huge rail yard and track that covered the entire outer (inside basement) wall of the house - cutting through the walls, with switchbacks, amazing scenery, etc. ALL of the rail was hand-put-in-place with real scale miniature spikes - no preformed track for them! :lol3: My sister, brother and I had one made out of 14K gold for him (them) to use when the last one went in that made the tracks meet up (just like when the US railroad was built and the East/West tracks met up).

I really have to add... my dad was a big believer in kids working around the house. But what I really appreciate about that was that the jobs were not divided into "the women's" jobs and "the men's" jobs. He gave me a tool kit for my 10th birthday, and I still have (most) of the tools from it. The one I used most, at the time, was the soldering iron (I helped put together the circuit boards that controlled the rail yards LOL). I wanted bookshelves? Fine! He'd help me with the plans and measurements, take me to the lumber yard, help me buy the wood. I had to cut, nail, and paint or stain it myself. :nod: When I got my learner's permit, the first thing he taught me was not to drive the car, but how to change a tire. :lol3:

Daddy taught me not just to think for myself and speak up for myself, but to be independent in every way. :heart3:
 

Willowy

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
31,886
Purraise
28,287
Location
South Dakota
I don't really know my dad :dk:. Which would be normal if he left but he's still with my mom and always has been :lol3:. He's odd. I truly suspect he has Asperger's (OK, I think I have Asperger's, too, but it manifests differently in females), plus he is an Adult Child of Alcoholics (which has it's own list of issues). He isn't affectionate, hates noise and mess and touching and unpredictability. So he doesn't really like kids. When we were growing up he was in the Navy and was gone a lot. When he was home, he had his own room and we weren't supposed to bother him (haha, he still has his own room and we aren't supposed to bother him :tongue2:). I don't remember any interaction with him when I was very little, although there are pictures of me sleeping on his chest when I was a baby so I guess there was something.

He likes guns and war history and working on cars. I know how to clean a gun and shoot, although it's been a while so I don't know how much I remember. I can do all the basic stuff with a car (change tires, oil, spark plugs, etc.). I was quiet and interested in what he was doing so he showed me. My one brother was too noisy and my youngest brother wasn't interested so he never showed them how to do those things. Which are maybe things men should know! I remember going hiking with him, but he would usually wander off alone and leave us with my mom at some point.

I'm grateful he supported the family so my mom didn't have to work when we were little. Other than that, his main function in the family seems to be to complain about everything ;). But he's a decent guy so I shouldn't whine.
 

margecat

Mentor
Staff Member
Mentor
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
5,209
Purraise
2,561
My father was an abusive, cruel, racist man.  I really can't think of any good things to say about him, nor any good memories. Wish I could. Despite the way he treated me, I tried to love him, but he wasn't exactly lovable.  However, Mom said he beat me because he loved me, so I guess he really did "love" me by her standards.

 

I do have 2 positive things to say about him:

1. He loved cats and animals.

2. He worked very hard in a steel mill to make sure we were provided for.

He died in 1999. 
 

margecat

Mentor
Staff Member
Mentor
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
5,209
Purraise
2,561
My biological father was abusive to my brother and mother. I wasn't legally allowed to be around him until I was 18. I've met him twice. Talked to him on the phone twice and decided he wasn't worth being in my life. He has a bunch of kids all over the place he doesn't look after. 

I've had a stepfather since I was 4. We got along when I was child but once he became an alcoholic during my teenage years, we stopped being so close. He is sober now and still in my life but we aren't all that close. 

I am not sure what its like to have a true honest, loving, caring, affectionate father. 

"I am not sure what it's like to have a true, honest, loving, caring affectionate father."--I understand...

 

calico2222

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
7,731
Purraise
41
Location
Over the river and through the woods...
I was adopted in a closed state adoption at the age of 5 months, and I can honestly say I couldn't have asked for better parents if God let me pick them out myself.

My dad was a hard working blue collar worker that did anything he could for his family. He was born in my hometown, and other than 4 years in the Navy, he never left (although, from what I could piece together, he made those 4 years worth it!). Once returning from the Navy, he immediately got a job at a local factory where we worked for many years. When I was in grade school in the 70's, he lost his job due to cut backs and was out of steady work for almost 3 years, but took any part time job he could to try to support my mother and I. He worked as a security officer during the Christmas season, he cleaned doctors offices and schools in the middle of the night, any odd job he could find he would do. After almost 3 years he finally got a full time job with benefits at the railroad where he worked until he retired.

He did a lot for the community too. Shortly after he retired, he started getting worried about the crime in town, so he and my mom started the first neighborhood crime watch in the area in 1988 and it's still going strong now, even though they aren't here to run it. It was because of him (or rather the crime watch total) that my town won the award of the "Safest Neighborhood in Maryland"; we even have a sign stating that. My dad and mom were invited to Annapolis to meet with the Governor concerning neighborhood crime and what people can do about it. Needless to say, I didn't get away with much in my younger years! lol. 

Basically, that's a great eulogy, but he was much more than that to me. As you can tell, he is my unsung hero. But, he was also my champion. He was quite and didn't show emotion a lot, but he did when it mattered. I remember coming home from my first Junior High dance. It took me all night to get the courage to ask my "crush" to dance...and he laughed at me. I came home in tears and the first person I saw was Dad. He just wrapped his arms around me and held me while I bawled (you know how traumatic things are when you're 13). He didn't say much of anything, he just let me know he loved me. He did that many times, even after I was supposedly an adult (things are traumatic then too!). 

He never missed a dance review, a piano recital or a play. Maybe he couldn't go to every performance, but he was always there for opening night. 

I will never forget what he said the night I left for Guam. You have to understand, I was moving 1/2 way around the word to be with a guy I met on the internet (he did come and stay with my family for a week so they did get to meet him). We were sitting at the kitchen table waiting for my airport ride to come and he says, "I don't agree with your decision, but I respect it and I admire your courage". That meant the world to me.

Unfortunately, Dad passed away in 2002. I wish he could have seen me get married because I already had "Wing Beneath My Wings" picked for the father/daughter dance. The world lost a wonderful man when he passed. I still miss him.

Thank you for give me a thread to babble in and let everyone know what a great man my father is. I have reread this post so many times, and I STILL don't think I explained myself well. My heart goes out to those that did not have a father like mine growing up. 
 

yayi

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Oct 9, 2003
Messages
12,110
Purraise
91
Location
W/ the best cats
My father is a war veteran, former diplomat and politician. I think it is funny that he went into jobs that require leadership and courage but at home he is spineless when it comes to my mother. 
 All his life he loved tinkering with anything electronic. Even now, with the cellphones, ipads, and stuff he acts like a kid with a new toy. It is sad though that because of mom, he never managed to get into a permanent hobby or have a collection of things he loves like electric toy cars or trains. From him, I learned to love reading, travel and appreciate the diversity of cultures. He used to spoil my sister and I with Barbie toys. He always encouraged us to try new things and never be afraid to do what is right. Because of him, I learned to be truthful to my children. I remember when my mom found out he was having an affair, she went berserk, threatening suicide, divorce, sole custody of the children, etc. Then he sat down with me and was sorry for what he did and how he hurt my mom. When I said that probably mom deserved it, he laughed and said that he knew what she was when he married her so what he did was not right at all. 

I believe that because of him, my sister and I learned what a good man is. Both of us never had bad relationships and both of us had good marriages. 
 

gemlady

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
18,820
Purraise
31
Location
SW Indiana
I read the previous thread and do remember my additional post about having a hanky advisory. :lol3:
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
AWWW that "other" Father thread made me tear up too. :hugs: :vibes: That has struck me to the core here on TCS - these threads that last forever and can be dug up even after losing someone here on site, you can go back and see their threads. Broke my heart :sniffle: but at the same time, makes you feel close to them once again. :rbheart:

My father was a Mechanical Engineer and worked for the same firm in Chicago for over 45 years!!!!!!!! He is an extremely detailed oriented man and has great talent in design. When I was about eight. My parents bought a very old house. My dad did the design on the house and added a whole second level and a family room to the back of the house. The house when we bought it was a 2 bedroom, one bath home. With five children, mom and dad, it was tight. My sister and I slept in the basement :eek: and my three brother's slept in the 2nd bedroom. My dad was very much into trains, the Lionel trains. He still sets up the train at Christmas time each year and the light and train horn still works. To this day, he still peruses the internet for model trains. :lol3: He was a quiet man when we kids. We took a lot of camping trips across the country. All piled into the station wagon with the pop-up camper in tow and off we would go. He is still with us. 82 years old and doing quite well other than a little stiff. I see my parents more often this last year since my mother's car accident. I feel we have all gotten much closer this last year and it makes me so happy inside :lovegrin:
 
Top