New and overwhelmed owner

Hey fellow cat owners - I'm looking for some advice/support. I moved into my first apartment to allow cats three months ago, and immediately started researching and meeting potential adoptees in shelters and foster homes. I did my homework, and had some reservations (mostly about having any pet in a small apartment) but ultimately met the perfect cat. I've had Jay, a three-year-old orange tabby, for about a week now, and he's exactly what I expected - he's affectionate, well-behaved, uses his litter box like a champ, and barely even sheds!

The problem in this new ownership is me. I feel totally overwhelmed and a little bit regretful. He is one happy camper, and is really coming out of his shell. I'm so glad to see him adjusting, but he's no longer the sad shelter cat who just wants to be petted. He's quite an explorer and I'm worried about him when he's left alone for 6-10 hours a day. I grew up with cats, but didn't realize the amount of responsibility it becomes when you're the sole owner and provider of love and attention.

He's such a great cat that I wish he had other people or animals in his life, particularly during the day. He loves everyone and everything, but unfortunately, another pet isn't an option for me. Will he settle down without becoming sad? Should I seek out a loving family that could keep him the energetic and loving guy he is? I would never return him to the shelter; I'm just afraid I'm not doing what's best for him. 

Welcome to the site

First I think you need to take a deep breath Yes taking on a cat is a big responsibility but it's sounds like you are doing everything right and researching what you don't know. Well done ! you are already at better cat parent than you think

Now most cats are quite happy living be themselves without any other pets for companionship. Remember cats are solitary animals by nature

Make sure he has a cat tree and plenty of toys to play with while you are not there. Cat's spend most of the day sleeping anyway. You haven't had him that long yet but I think you will find that he gets into a routine of sleeping while you are at work. Just make sure you spend time playing with him in the evening when you are home to get rid of some of that energy.

I lot of people on here only have one cat and are out at work all day. I think you will find that they just make up for it when they get home that's all

thank you! He is loaded up with toys, beds, a cat tree, and windows that he seems pretty interested in. It's just a nerve wracking experience for me!

Well then, I actually think you are going to make a brilliant first time cat mom :nod:

The first couple of weeks are going to be most stressful as you both settle into your new routines. But honestly give it a month and I bet you will be wondering what you were stressing about to begin with. :lol3:

Remember we are here to help if you are in need of further help or advise, with a problem that you cannot cope with or just in need of reassurance. Sometimes the smallest thing can make you feel that you cannot cope and overwhelmed, there is usually a simple solution, don't forget no matter what it is, it has happened to someone already. :grphug2:

You boy sound fantastic. I can't believe how well he has settled in already. Some cats take weeks just to come out of hiding.

Also we love pictures on here, so we would love to see some pictures of Jay who sounds like one very handsome orange tabby

OK, thank you!! He's wasted no time settling in; it's just me who is taking awhile. Here he is .. 

Oh wow he is gorgeous

He looks right at home already. He's got the cutest face ever, I love his pink nose and tall ears

Oh he is adorable! Big snuggie boy

I think the shelter behavior is shaken off mow and his true self is shining through.

He is and always will be grateful for you saving him from that place, highly stressful environment.

You just aren't bonded with him yet, but give it some time, you will!!

Orange cats have some of the best personalities, former orange cat owners swear to this! Easy going, characters!

Thanks, you guys! He was already less needy and up to his own thing when I got home today. I really appreciate the reassurance!

newownerkt said:

 
It's just a nerve wracking experience for me!

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I understand--the first few weeks of having our new cats, we thought we had made a BIG mistake, they were so active.  I was overwhelmed.  LOL  But it just took awhile for everybody to get used to the new routine.  

He sounds, and looks, like a wonderful little guy.  I think you both hit the jackpot.  

Thanks! I've gotta say - when I took him home from the shelter last week, he jumped right into his carrying box and relaxed the whole way home. Last night, getting ready to take him to the vet for a checkup, he clawed and banged at the sides of the box the whole trip, and didn't relax until we were back home. That sure solidified my commitment to find a way to make this work!

Great )

When in the carrier, always cover it with a towel, it calms them way down. Feels safer, secure.

Aww, ok, thanks!

    Very welcome!

Just wanted to circle back and thank you for all your encouragement. It's been a couple of weeks now and I already can't imagine life without my little guy! It was tough at first but I'm so glad I have him. THANK YOU!! 

newownerkt said:

 
Just wanted to circle back and thank you for all your encouragement. It's been a couple of weeks now and I already can't imagine life without my little guy! It was tough at first but I'm so glad I have him. THANK YOU!! 

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Glad we helped!

Isn't it funny how they do that, work their way in so smoothly?? 

I know that this is an older post, but I was so relieved to come across it. To know that there are other people (at least one) out there the have felt exactly what I'm feeling now - completely overwhelmed and unsure of the decision that they thought they were so sure of.

I too adopted a shelter cat that was very low-key, cuddly, super sweet, and absolutely adorable. Now that he is home and opening up, which I glad he is comfortable enough to do, he is always on the go and not at all what I was expecting.

On top of that, I also work full time and feel awful leaving him all day. I know people do it all the time, but still... When I get home, I try to spend time with him but he isn't much for playing. I have other chores and errands to take care of and feel horrible when I have to leave him to do those things.

I really feel like a horrible cat mom.

Hi Gewel198 - you are definitely not alone, and you're definitely not a horrible cat mom! It takes time for everything to gel, but once it does you won't look back. I'm the original poster here and didn't even remember I had written this a year ago! I'd recommend a big cat tree, a window to look out of, and a variety of toys. Before you know it you'll be settled into each other's routines and he'll be you best furry friend. I know from experience

Thanks newownerkt for the reassurance. I definitely feel like I'm in over my head and it is positve to hear that you were able to overcome the initial feelings - there is hope for me yet! Do you still just have Jay? From your experience, has he been happy and satisfied being an only cat?

Yes, still have him and he was totally fine as an only pet. He eventually gained a dog brother but it Hasnt really changed his demeanor. your cat is probably just really interested in his new surroundings and will fall in step with your routine soon.

It's hard to explain how it switches from wondering what you're going to do with this cat to how you could ever live without them, but it really does happen!