2 year old kitty in hiding for months

Hi Everyone,

I know there have already been similar threads with this issue but I just thought I'd throw my hat in since they didn't seem to address our specific problem. My boyfriend and I adopted a cat from another couple who already had two other cats and a dog. She's 2, and had grown up with this family. She was always nervous around new people, but since their dog was very active it was stressing her out, and they felt like she would be better off in an apartment with no other animals or maybe another cat. My boyfriend has had cats before and I'm a newbie. Getting her into the cat carrier to take her home was something I could tell was very traumatic for her, but I set her up in our guest room with food, water and a litter box, which she almost immediately started using with no problems. After about a week or so we left the door open for her to check out the rest of the apartment and she found her 2nd litter box with no problems. She doesn't scratch furniture (only the post), she uses the boxes with no problems, and eats and drink regularly. 

That said.....she will not let us come into contact with her AT ALL. She will not eat or drink if we are in the area, and if I walk into a room where she might be hanging out or sleeping, she immediately runs to hide under a bed. She will not let us touch her or anything like that. She will not respond to offers of play with different types of toys (there is one toy she likes that doesn't require us to play with her). She will not accept treats from us (but will eat them if we leave them for her). She isn't aggressive in anyway, no hissing or anything like that, but she just looks terrified all the time. What made things worse is that my boyfriend tried to get her to come out of hiding and she ended up running around like crazy trying to get away from him. Now before anyone starts talking about how mean he was, I gave him an earful already so any more comments about why he shouldn't have done aren't necessary. He has realised the error of his ways and leaves her alone now. 

So here's the problem: all the advice I've read is that I should play with her and show her affection....which we would both LOVE to do, but she won't let us! The few times we've tried to pet her she just looked really upset and found another hiding place. Any suggestions? At the moment all we can do is wait it out and hope that she'll come say hi eventually. It's been 2 months now so I'm just a little....concerned. I would love some advice!

Thank you in advance! 

I would give her time. It sounds like she came from a stressful environment. Moving homes on top of that probably worsened her fear. Not much you can do about the past. I would take a step back and let her get used to your presence and learn that she can trust you. Spend time with her in her room, reading out loud or talking softly to each other. Try to do this on the floor to be less threatening. Play soft classical or harp music when you are not there. Don't force interaction at this point. That is obviously scary to her, so let her approach you. Continue to offer treats (meat baby food usually works wonders) and play time, but don't force it if she is not ready yet. I think it's great you offered her a more peaceful home. Have patience with her while she gets used to it. Even though it will be better for her in the long run, she has had her entire world turned upside down, and she's scared. Most cats do not deal well with change.

Hi,

Thanks for your reply! I see her kinda checking us out from afar every now and then, usually after I catch her moving from one room to another, and then she just stares at us for a while before hiding again. Haha such a cutie Luckily I usually work from home so she has quite a bit of time to get used to me and sometimes she hides under our bed while we sleep. So I'm going to keep waiting it out. Thanks again! It really helps!

 Other words of advice are still welcome of course! 

Question. Do you have any cat trees or high places that she could get to if she wanted to? It might just be that she's feeling insecure in the new environment and low to the ground hiding places are the only real solace she can find. My cat was like this the first few days that I brought her home, not really sure what was going on, was really wary of my presence in a room, would dart under something (or back in next to something in the case of the first day I had her, when she ended up wedging herself in next to the fridge so bad that I had to move it in order for her to get out) the second she got the chance, but then I noticed she'd more often than not try to climb my bookshelves (which are completely full and not really accessible) before she'd end up stashing herself in a hiding spot. 

After I went out and got a couple cat trees and made the window sill more accessible to her, she settled down really quickly because with the ability to get up high, taller than I was on one of the trees, whenever I spooked her accidentally, she no longer felt like she had to hide because she could just steal the higher ground from me.

patreesa said:

 
Hi,

Thanks for your reply! I see her kinda checking us out from afar every now and then, usually after I catch her moving from one room to another, and then she just stares at us for a while before hiding again. Haha such a cutie Luckily I usually work from home so she has quite a bit of time to get used to me and sometimes she hides under our bed while we sleep. So I'm going to keep waiting it out. Thanks again! It really helps!

 Other words of advice are still welcome of course! 

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We took in a 10 year old last year after her owner died.  Most skittish cat I've ever seen.  Couldn't pet her, much less hold her.  She went running for cover when we came in the room.  But we discovered she LOVED to be brushed and would allow us to brush her a few minutes at a time. After months of brushing, she finally started letting us pet her a bit and one glorious day, I walked into the room, and she flopped on her back, asking for a belly rub!  It took almost a year, though.

You might try getting down on floor level with her and see if she will let you brush her a little bit.  Maybe she will like it.     

Hi! Thanks for your replies guys! 

Actually one of the first things we did before we brought her home was get a cat tree that would allow her to get on top of this sort of armoire we have in the living room. But to be honest I think she is very much a nook and cranny cat. When we saw her at the old owners she was hiding in the space with their DVD player hahah.Her other favourite places have been under our bed, in our walk in closet, behind the couch....etc. She does use the tree, but more for scratching.

As for brushing, she is usually hiding in a place that we can't even reach her from...so I would love to try that but I think I'll have to wait a little bit until I have more access to her.

That all being said! I did have a moment of progress yesterday when I found her sleeping on the guest bed. Not under it, but on it! and then later that evening I tried to coax her out with a treat and usually if I offer something to her she just kind of gives me the "what do you want" stare, but this time she sniffed, and when I put it in from of her, she immediately ate it instead of waiting for me to leave! Slowly but surely!  

patreesa said:

 
That all being said! I did have a moment of progress yesterday when I found her sleeping on the guest bed. Not under it, but on it! and then later that evening I tried to coax her out with a treat and usually if I offer something to her she just kind of gives me the "what do you want" stare, but this time she sniffed, and when I put it in from of her, she immediately ate it instead of waiting for me to leave! Slowly but surely!  

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Well, that's good!  Maybe it will just take some time...

Hi Patreesa,

Just want to let you know about our experience. We adopted our first cat many years ago from a shelter. We brought her home and put all of her things in the bedroom so it would be less stressful for her. It took 6 months for her to come out from under the dresser except to eat and use the box which she usually did when we weren't home. We would lay on the floor and talk to her but would not try to force her from under the dresser. We were worried too but the shelter told us to just be patient and give her time so then we worried a little less. Eventually she started to come out and spend time on the bed with us and then eventually explored the rest of the house. She would generally hide if someone new came in the house but was fine with us. I think your kitty just needs time.

I'm sure things will go well in the future for you and your kitty. Thanks for giving her a home.

Pacey

Update!

She is still constantly hiding, but today she came out, stared at me from a slightly closer distance, and then started doing these kind of...kitten mews while staring at me. So I took that to mean she was hungry, and since her food was in the living room where I was doing my work, I moved it to another room where she could eat unobserved. And after she did, she just kinda came back and looked at me and mew'd some more before hiding under the bed gain. She still won't let me get anywhere near her nor does she want to play (I tried a toy and nothing!) but when i say something to her, she'll give me a kitten mew in response now. Not really sure what that means, but I feel like it's progress!

Cool!  She's talking to you!  Do you several different kinds of toys?  Some like feather on strings types of things, others like toys on the floor.  Ping pong balls can be fun for young cats.  Or catnip toys--does she like catnip?

Hi Patreesa,

Yes, it is definitely progress. She is starting to talk to you and that is a good sign.  My suggestion is that you keep trying to gently play with her but keep in mind that in the long run she may not be a cat that wants to play. Our cat never did like to play with toys.  She loved catnip though.

Best wishes for continued progress with your kitty.

Pacey

When you play with her, make sure you are down on the floor at her level.  She may be frightened if you are standing and looming over her.  You can also just sit on the floor and talk softly to her.  Have a yummy treat with you that you can offer her.  If she doesn't eat it in your presence that's ok.  You could offer a regular cat treat or something special such as plain cooked chicken or turkey or tuna or salmon.  She will start to associate you with good things.  Another trick to try is to get some Gerber stage 2 chicken or turkey baby food.  Cats love it and it is used to train and socialize cats.  You can start by putting a small amount on a dish.  Once she tastes it, you can try offering it on a spoon and then offering it off your fingers.  Just be sure it is the baby food that is chicken or turkey and water only.  No spices or other added ingredients.  Also this is not a substitute for cat food, just a training or occasional treat.  You can also try a mat with some cat nip on it or a few cat nip toys.  A feliway plug in  might help as well.  Composure calming treats are also available.  They might help her feel more secure in her surroundings. 

Thanks for your replies! I still need to grab some catnip but she does love treats. That said the "chatter" has turned into full scale meowing and I've figured out that she's actually in heat. hahaha. We do want to spay her, but can't get close enough to her to put her in a carrier and also don't wanna scare her again by forcing her in since she's not totally comfortable with us. :/ 

As far as interacting , if she's under the bed i try to lay down or crouch down to speak with her or play or give her treats from my hand. But i'm being patient and you guys are awesome with your advice! I really appreciate it

Start feeding her in a cat carrier to get her used to it.  Start by placing the food just outside the carrier.  If you need to, tie the door open.  After a few days, move the food just inside the carrier and gradually move it back until she is eating her meals in the carrier.  On the day of the appt, just put a few morsels in the carrier and allow her to go in.  Once inside, block her exit with something sturdy and close and latch the door.  She can place a thin towel or sheet over the carrier to calm her.  Another trick is to use a laser pointer.  She can play with the pointer and practice having her go inside the carrier with the laser.  Offer her treats in the carrier so she gets used to it.  You can even offer small amounts of tuna in the carrier so that she thinks the carrier is for special treats. 

You will want to get her spayed and checked over by a vet soon.  Her behavior will greatly improve once her hormones are in check. 

I also would suggest not letting her go under the bed.  You might want to pull the bed up or place the mattress and box springs directly on the floor.  Block all other hiding places as well so it is easier to contain her.