New parent seeks help with a new stray/ feral cat

dmartnyc · Feb 27, 2014

Hello,

My partner and I just adopted a new cat. We found her at the Animal Care and Control of NYC and she's a year old.

She's been living with us for about 10 days now and she has no interest in socializing with us. We have a duplex apt and she's been hiding in the bathroom downstairs or under our couch.

I've never owned a cat before so this is new territory for me.

This week I've been away on a business trip and my partner's been sleeping downstairs to try and get comfortable with her.

While he went upstairs to take a shower this morning she pooped on our bathroom rug downstairs (where she's been hiding)...

Is this normal behavior for a stray once in a new home? I've been reading so much about stray vs. feral cats and their behaviors and I'm a little confused. I would love to hear from anyone who's ever dealt with a similar situation...

Thanks,

Daniel

Brooklyn, NY

littleone1 · Feb 27, 2014

we brought in a 3 year old semi-feral that hid for a month, and pooped on the door mat. We put down plastic floor protectors that are spiky on one side, spike side up, wherever we didn't want her to poop. worked like a charm. You can buy it by the foot in carpet dept of Home Depot, it's on big rolls.

As for the socialization, give her a very steady routine of when you visit her, perhaps get her out of the bathroom into a spare bedroom? feed her in small amounts a few times a day. if she's a bit hungry when you come in for food each time she will associate you with happy things. If you can approach her with your hand or a spoon, try giving her Gerber stage 2 chicken or turkey baby food on a finger (or the spoon) as a treat. I play harp music ALL the time when I'm not with the feral. So...soft voice, lots of talking and regular visits, a routine, music, treats - you can sit and read out loud to her as well so she falls asleep to your voice, which is trust and familiarity. She'll come out of hiding when she's ready. Could be days, weeks, or a month or 2. You can never predict when they will finally judge everything as "safe"

Be a bottomless well of patience. Try not to look directly at her eyes in these early stages, or do a very slow blink at her if you do - when she slow blinks back she's starting to trust you

dmartnyc · Feb 27, 2014

THANK YOU for the helpful advice Littleone1!

I will definitely have my partner try the floor protectors while I'm aware for work.

She was moving about between the bathroom and living area (whenever we'd leave, we'd come back to find her hiding in a new spot) for a bit but now she's confined herself strictly to the bathroom.

At one point during her first week, my partner brought her upstairs to see the rest of the house and she wasn't keen on the idea. She squirmed and wrestled in his arms til he brought her back down and she's not been right ever since. Could this be her reaction to his action with her?

I really appreciate your time in answering my post. It really means a lot...

xo

littleone1 · Feb 27, 2014

i'm "paying it forward" because I've received excellent advice on this forum myself

Leave the cat alone in terms of determining where she should go, sleep, hangout, and when, etc. The BEST thing you can do is talk to her softly in a high voice register, and just live your lives normally. She will become accustomed to your routines and habits and noises and smells, which is absolutely required for her to feel safe. there is no rushing this, unfortunately, and no way to determine how long it will take. Another thing with the litter: I bought a bag of Cat Attract litter, and covered it with potting soil from a bag, along with some tree leaves and a couple twigs. She loved it. It's very messy - but they are used to going in the dirt, so help her out. Over a week or so she will go in the regular litter every time and you can phase out the soil.

dmartnyc · Feb 27, 2014

Thanks for the support!

What I didn't mention but figured I should have in the beginning was that she was already using her litter box.

I'm curious to know if she did her "business" on the rug to retaliate for him sleeping downstairs in her space? I read that cats get temperamental and act out...

Thoughts?

littleone1 · Feb 27, 2014

most likely she is acting out of confusion and fear and made a mistake. Make sure anything soft, fuzzy and made out of fabric (except what she's sleeping on) is covered by the spiky plastic or just put away. Get yourself a bottle of Dumb Cat spray (I know - the name) at Petco and spray liberally wherever she has eliminated, and soak any washable item with Dumb Cat and put through the washing machine

dmartnyc · Feb 27, 2014

THANK YOU so much for all your help! We really appreciate it!

maiaelizabeth · Feb 27, 2014

I dont know if cats are territorial but when i brought my stray Foley he peed a lot in places he considered his own and he also used the litter box. He was extremely shy and we kept him in the bathroom because my other kitten hissed at him. It wasnt until after a couples of weeks that he came out but extremely shy and scared. He hid behind the stove and behind the fridge, i had to go thru and ordeal to move all that stuff and get him out. i got him a lot of toys, balls are his favorite and also catnip. and a lot of love oh men he is sooo spoiled and he demands for you to pet him. it is pretty dificult at first but if you stress they do too, they are very empathic. good luck.

littleone1 · Feb 27, 2014

Welcome! Make sure you come back and give updates and share breakthroughs and what works cuz you will be helping other newbies like us

promise?

maiaelizabeth · Feb 27, 2014

littleone1 said:
Welcome! Make sure you come back and give updates and share breakthroughs and what works cuz you will be helping other newbies like us promise?

and pictures as well :nod:

dmartnyc · Feb 27, 2014

Will do for sure. Thanks again for your generosity and thoughtfulness

xo

dmartnyc · Feb 27, 2014

Thanks MaiaElizabeth! How long did it take Foley to come around? We've had Weezy (her name was Louise at the center) for about 12 days now and this is the first time she's acted out on us...

maiaelizabeth · Feb 27, 2014

I dont really remember im gonna day a month to be sure but it took a little incident for him to totally trust us (he was playing with my other cat and bit herwe had to take her to the emergency but everything turned out okay) after that he was around the apartment sleeping everywhere and on his own bed. what they really need is a lot of love and patience you could try playing with him while in the bathroom with a squeaky toy, balls or laser pointer. he will come at you eventually at his own pace just dont pressure him to much.

20131220_192459.jpg

maiaelizabeth
Feb 27, 2014

this is foley

loopycann · Feb 28, 2014

Please don't give up.Many if not all kitties abandoned at the animal control are scared,frightened and have no idea what to expect.Try to imagine being torn away from your family and/or all you have ever known without explanation or reason ,to be shoved into a cold barren cage with a cacophony of barks and meows and not even understanding what lies ahead.Sounds like you two are doing what's required.Id like to make a suggestion that has always worked for me.Try to speak softly,keep loud music ,children,and t.v. And vacuum cleaners to a minimum .If you have a room that you can keep her about a week out of startling things ,with a litter box,food dish and water in a area that's kinda blocked.everyday move the food and water further out into the open but leave the box kinda concealed for her .Take time out to play chase with her.Paper bags,balls,etc.No catnip....it tends to cause kitties to claw and nibble .Maybe later for that.Oh ,please watch My Cat From Hell.Jackson Galaxy is a very in tuned cat psychologist .I think he's on the animal planet channel.I know he's on the Internet.Good luck to you your sig other for taking the heart and patience and getting the knowledge to help this baby.please post again if you need help,hope or answers.This site is one of the best Ive seen. :rbheart:

:heart2

shadowsrescue · Feb 28, 2014

Give her plenty of time to adjust to her new surroundings. You might want to set her up in her own room and see if that helps her to feel more comfortable. Make she that she can't get stuck anywhere such as under a bed or behind book cases. Make the room "cat safe". Yet do give her safe places to hide such as an old box with a soft cozy blanket or a cat tree/condo for her to look outside and watch the birds or outdoor life.

When you enter the room to visit with her, talk softly. Sit on the floor at her level. If she will allow you to make eye contact, give her a slow blink. Offer her a yummy treat whenever you come to visit. Even if she doesn't eat it in your presence she will later and she will associate you with good things. The best "treat" to offer a shy kitty is Gerber stage 2 chicken/turkey baby food. Yes, babyfood!! It's known as kitty crack. Just make sure it's the one in the small jar that only contains chicken/turkey and water, no added salt or spices. This is to be offered as a treat only. Cats love it. Yet it's not a replacement for cat food. You can put some on a spoon and progress to allowing her to lick it off your fingers. When you leave the room after visiting, leave another treat for her.

Feliway plug ins are also helpful. They help to calm the cat. Also calming treats such as Composure may help her to feel more calm in her new surroundings.

Play with her, but gently and easily at first. Offer toy mice, catnip toys, string and working your way up to wand toys and the da bird toy. She may frighten easily at first so take it slowly.

Thank you for rescuing this sweet soul. Give her time and love and she will blossom under your care.

dmartnyc · Feb 28, 2014

Thank you so much shadows rescue and Loopycann for the helpful advice. I'm going to get my partner to purchase the "kitty crack" and try it out since I'm away in Europe. Love that idea and hope works!

You all are amazing!

lrosewiles · Feb 28, 2014

Hi DymartNYC

thanks for taking in this scared cat. I can speak a little to the pooping problem with one of our rescues, also an adult female cat. Part of the issue is that they are used to using the wide "outside" as a bathroom and don't necessarily get the idea of a litter box. Kittens catch on quickly, but adults are slowly to adapt, especially with so many other scary transitions going on. You don't say what litter you are using, but you might try cat attract litter, available from Petco or Chewy's or various other online or physical cat supply places. It is a bit of a nuisance compared with litters like Feline Pine which don't clump because even pees clump and you have to empty them regularly, but it does help to get them to use a litter box. Try one that is open rather than enclosed with a lid - the enclosed space can be frightening. Also yes, she might be establishing territory, so having the litter box in the area where she has been pooping may help with that (in our case it meant putting the litter box in the bathroom where the mat had been).

The hiding and nervous behavior is normal for an adopted feral or stray. My best advice (and others, especially ShadowsRescue, who has already given me great advice, will weigh in here) is to take it slowly. I found appearing to "ignore" a nervous cat and just talking quietly as if talking to yourself - getting her used to your voice - is a good approach. And silly as it sounds, singing a silly little ditty that incorporates her name (what is her name by the way?) whenever you approach, at feeding etc, also helps. Use a known song or just make something up, it doesn't matter so long as it's "her" song. They come to associate the singing with food, pets, good things.

good luck with her

tdiving · Feb 28, 2014

Adding my half-pennies worth to what has already been offered------we decided right at the start not to force our 2 feral kittens to do anything---

they had there own bedroom,(after 3 months,they now consider the whole cottage as their own),and early on they hated being taken out of their room until

they started venturing out on their own.(I think the world was suddenly too big and scary to them).

We found Tidy Cat to be the litter of choice after failing with a few other brands.

They are just now starting to tolerate some stroking although the timing to do this is pretty critical--if they show any reluctance at all we just let them get on with their thing.

We have not forced any flea medication on them--rather using a combination of Capstar and Programme tablets crushed in their food so there is no stress on their part.

We do use Gerber #2 Chicken bay food often as a treat and also to give their medications---

As they are more relaxed(we try not to stress them in anyway)they seem to be becoming more approachable and certainly happier and more playful--either with us

or with each other----it goes without saying that they have many toys including interactive toys.

As far as food is concerned,after trying many types(roughly comparable to a 5 star hotel),we have found that they love anything with a chicken/Tuna combination--pouches or

Friskies filets.

As has been said many times here,patience is the big thing----many of these semi-wild cats are not petting cats(certainly in the beginning)---we just love our cats for who they are------spoil the

little devils

Hope this helps

Regards

Tony and Kat Wynne-Roberts -----Taming feral kittens!

maiaelizabeth · Mar 1, 2014

Lrosewiles said:
Hi DymartNYC

thanks for taking in this scared cat. I can speak a little to the pooping problem with one of our rescues, also an adult female cat. Part of the issue is that they are used to using the wide "outside" as a bathroom and don't necessarily get the idea of a litter box. Kittens catch on quickly, but adults are slowly to adapt, especially with so many other scary transitions going on. You don't say what litter you are using, but you might try cat attract litter, available from Petco or Chewy's or various other online or physical cat supply places. It is a bit of a nuisance compared with litters like Feline Pine which don't clump because even pees clump and you have to empty them regularly, but it does help to get them to use a litter box. Try one that is open rather than enclosed with a lid - the enclosed space can be frightening. Also yes, she might be establishing territory, so having the litter box in the area where she has been pooping may help with that (in our case it meant putting the litter box in the bathroom where the mat had been).

The hiding and nervous behavior is normal for an adopted feral or stray. My best advice (and others, especially ShadowsRescue, who has already given me great advice, will weigh in here) is to take it slowly. I found appearing to "ignore" a nervous cat and just talking quietly as if talking to yourself - getting her used to your voice - is a good approach. And silly as it sounds, singing a silly little ditty that incorporates her name (what is her name by the way?) whenever you approach, at feeding etc, also helps. Use a known song or just make something up, it doesn't matter so long as it's "her" song. They come to associate the singing with food, pets, good things.

good luck with her

My cats song is "What's new Pussycat" by Tom Jones
It seems to sooth them whenever they're stressed :nod:

dmartnyc · Mar 3, 2014

**UPDATED PROGRESS ON Little Weezy**

Thanks so much for all your consideration and thoughtfulness the last week. My partner took a lot of your suggestions (I'm away on a business trip in Europe right now) and put them to use and she's progressed!

Weezy has now left hiding in the downstairs bathroom and she's exploring the apt (we have a duplex apt in Brooklyn). She's using her litter box and we've been able to move her food upstairs to the kitchen.

The Gerber's is an AMAZING treat- she devoured it like crazy apparently!

Though she's moving about the apt, she's still hiding behind and under furniture while my partner's home. He's been trying to get her out to play and no such like.

He knows she's been roaming the apt and playing with her toys while he's at work but when he's been home, she's been hiding.

Any thoughts?

Thanks so much AGAIN for all your support!

xoD

New parent seeks help with a new stray/ feral cat

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