Support Needed

this is not cat related, although i'd like to think that in the long run, my cats will thank me for being around for them, healthy, and for a really long time to forcefully cuddle with them and steal love from them when they're trying to sleep. 

I'm trying to quit smoking. COLD TURKEY. I've tried the nicotine patches in the past, and in addition to me finding a loop hole where i would smoke as many cigs as possible before i put on the patch for the day, they gave me HORRIBLE nightmares for the 2 months i did attempt to use them. 

its been a rough 1 week. It all started last week when i got the flu from a co worker, who's murder i'm plotting because by getting me sick, he also inadvertently got my boyfriend sick. but that's for another thread.

I don't smoke when i get sick because 

a) it doesn't feel good.

b) smoking prolongs the duration of time spend being sick

c) i want to get better asap so i can smoke and enjoy it (go figure)

I was literally bed ridden for 2 days. had to take time off from work. i went into work Friday of last week. Still not feeling like smoking, but i had 1 cig left in my pack, figured i might as well kill it.

how sick and twisted is my thinking, I couldn't physically grasp whether or not i was feeling better, because apparently that's too difficult. So i thought to myself, "let me have this cigarette, if it doesn't hurt my throat and doesn't taste bad, i'm probably getting better"

i shouldn't have smoked. it tasted awful and hurt my throat and sent me into a coughing fit where i wouldn't stop coughing until i threw up, ended up leaving work early to start my sick weekend early.

the remainder of the weekend i did not smoke, even though by sunday i was feeling better. my boyfriend was even shocked. "why are you so crabby? when was the last time you smoked?" how easily that rolled off of his tongue. as if that is the only reason why i could be crabby, and ironically me having a cig was his cure all to not dealing my attitude. he's a non smoker.

I decided then i won't buy another pack. and i told him i was quitting, and that he better get used to the crabbiness. It then hit him that i haven't smoked for a few days. and he was so happy and proud of me. he offered me words of encouragement and told me he would deal with whatever i threw at him, as long as i quit and he would support me all the way.

i had been a smoker for 10 years. started very young at the age of 15, thinking it was a "phase" and that in a couple of years i could stop, if i wanted. i fooled myself into thinking i was only a social smoker, when in reality i was buying 1 pack a day or 1 pack every other day...especially since i started my new job over the summer...

i have this crippling fear of buses. like, i used to have full blown anxiety attacks if i ever had to get on a bus, or a van, or an RV, or a truck (i had to when i moved and i threw up after getting off). it's something that has been with me since i was a kid. but low and behold, the job i work at now, requires me to take a bus to get there. its either, take 1 train, and 1 bus, and the bus drops me 1 block away from my job, or, i  take 3 trains, and walk 20-30 mins to the office...

in order to prime myself before getting on a bus, or waiting for my imminent death (the bus), i smoked 2-3 cigs just to calm myself down, and then another 1-2 cigs after getting off the bus. it had become a very disgusting ritual. and soon, i was no longer anxious about the bus, but, i was anxious if i had to wait for the bus, and i had no cigs to smoke. i kind of went into addict mode. like i was a hardcore drug addict, feigning for some crack, and my brain couldn't think of anything else.

i've been cigarette free for like i said, 1 week. yesterday was especially hard for me, as i am no longer sick. and have to take the bus, and my body is going into mini anxiety attacks because i can't smoke before getting on the bus, or getting off the bus. and when i'm on the bus, i'm especially more skittish than usual. i feel like at any moment we're all going to crash and die. not to mention my appetite has kicked in. full swing. and all i ever want to eat anymore are donuts -____- there goes my hard work for trying to lose 30 lbs over the past 1 year lol.

i'm sorry this has become as long as it did. I just wanted to share. maybe someone else out there is going through the same thing i am, with quitting smoking, or has in the past. some words of encouragement would be nice. apparently my amazing glowing skin is not enough for me to stay away from the cancer sticks and i still think about giving in and buying a pack; i've noticed that since i've stopped smoking, and even though it has only been 1 week, my skin glows. its amazing. i don't feel the need to wear makeup anymore, although i refuse to leave the house without any mascara. oh and my hair smells amazing all day

i love this site so much. it has helped me so much when it came to my kitties. i'm hoping a little support will help me to kick this habit. 

Thanks for reading/listening

You can do it! I know it's hard to quit, but we are here to support you!

Just think about how much better you'll feel!

I went through ALL you are going through now and more, I too had the 'mini anxiety' attacks. There were times when I was so nasty my husband finally would beg me to smoke, and I did! I quit probably 10 times and never lasted. Finally I heard about Welbutrin, an antidepressant that had helped people to quit. I can truly say you will still have cravings, but somehow not to the point where you would literally kill for a smoke. It worked!!!!! I have not had a cigarette since 2003, so I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!!! I still want to smoke at times, I still miss it, but you know what? Talk yourself out of it. It's terribly expensive, it WILL kill you eventually, why should YOU be one of the 'lucky' ones that escapes cancer? I can tell you from being a nurse that truly rarely happens! It's not worth the chance of adding even one more chance of getting cancer. There are probably more and newer meds out there now to help, PLEASE try them, no matter what they cost it's worth it! I will pray for you, keep us posted on how you are doing, YOU CAN DO IT!!!! 

Thank you @Di and Bob  & @Draco  for your words of encouragement.

I already felt a bit better by just posting about it here. kind of had to get it off my chest. my boyfriend is very supportive, and also used to be a smoker and he quit. but his case, and mine are different. he was a smoker for maybe two years? then he joined the navy and was forced to quit because there is no smoking in boot camp. then after he was done with boot camp he decided never to start back up again. that's how he cut the habit. 

clearly my case a different. i've been smoking for 10 years. and no matter how much i make him understand that its hard for me, he gives me that "its mind over matter" making it seem like my mental state is weak if i keep referring to me quitting as something hard. its hard for me. i don't care what he says. venting on this thread has helped me...

@Di and Bob  , from my many attempts in the past, i've really felt a pull from the physical manifestation of smoking, meaning that whole action of bringing something to your mouth and taking a drag, the oral fixation!. thats the thing that always did me in!! but now i have this anxiety of buses that i can't avoid. i live with room mates who also smoke, and they smoke indoors (which i HATE and i never do myself). so that's hard. but i've begun to loathe the smell of cigarettes in the house, so thank goodness, but at the same time, dealing with their stupid antics stresses me out to the point of wanting to smoke!

i've learned that i've always been a very anxious person, as a chid. being in social situation makes me nervous and anxious, and i've slowly learned through out the past week that smoking was one way for me to cope with the anxiety. now that i've stopped smoking cold turkey, i'm so skittish, and i avoid people at all costs. 

i want to avoid using meds...but i'm definitely keeping that in the back of my mind as a last resort. all the list of side effects from stop smoking aids and anti depressants are a HUGE turn off for me. 

I hope my boyfriend doesn't get annoyed of me to the point where he begs me to smoke lol. 

does anyone know of natural herbs, oils, scents, inscents that helped them with this whole process?? any suggestions would be great....

I once was a heavy smoker. I quit cold turkey. It was hard. I kept chewing gum and mints and popped something else in my mouth when I got the urge to smoke. You will never be sorry. You will feel better, smell better and be healthier.

Here's something to think about--my hubby has been through three major back surgeries in the past two years.  The surgeon told him that there was no question that his 40 year smoking habit contributed to the degenerative disc disease he has.   Hubby quit the day of his first surgery--it's been 2-1/2 years now.

But you are so smart to quit now while you're young-- before you've done any permanent damage to your body!  You can do it.  

I only know how it is being a non smoker and watching a person try to quit.  My Mom has been able to quit after illness up to few months.  Always after bronchitis or worse so she is in no shape to smoke.

All I can say is try to avoid as much triggers. My Mom would switch to Tea and go to work right on time rather then early to be with the smokers,avoid the computer at night when prone and more or less be left alone more jsut cause she KNEW she was snappy.

My sister has been smoking about long as you.  One of my friends parents started a fund of all the money they saved into a jar that made it real for them at just what the cost was.

I wish you the best of luck and wish I had more advice.

I just keep reminding myself how much better I feel and how awful the withdrawals are. So bad that I don't want to relive it.

Pick up a new hobby. Walking, running, dancing, cooking, anything but smoking. Be sure to reward yourself to for milestones. A bath soak you won't normally spend that much on, a pedicure, etc.

Good luck.

One tip I have from a friend is that they worked out how much money they were spending on cigarettes and then went and bought a computer on credit for the amount that they could pay off monthly with the amount that they had been spending on cigarettes monthly - they then couldn't afford to take up smoking again because the money had already been spent.

Keep strong - you can do it.

Yes, positive rewards like what you can get with the money.

Also think of your kitty: so small and so much more vulnerable to secondary smole inhallation than another person.

Routine, where you would usually smoke can you alter your day so that your smoking time is replaced?

Something else to keep your hands busy, whether it is using one of the 'imitation' cigarettes now on the market (a number of people In know are currently using these successfully) or eating things that take time to get in to like shelling peas - make sure what you eat isn't fattening though or you will be posting about diets next.

Meditiation / Mindfulness / yoga meditation, what ever helps you to concentrate your mind, learn to relax out of the tension you will experience, and move in to a positive thinking frame about stopping smoking.

As an extension to the meditation consider hypnotism if you need someone else to assist you to focus your mind on relaxation and positivity around quiting.

And if you fail and have a smoke don't take that as complete failure and give up on trying - get right back in there, concentrate your mind and remember what you have and will achieve.

Positive vibes and encouragement from an ex-smoker who quit 30+ years ago .... You will be very glad you are free of cigarettes!

For what it's worth, this is how I did it.  Had one pack of cigarettes left and determined that after they were gone, that was it.  I would light a cigarette, take a few puffs, and then butt it.   Next time I wanted a cig, I had to smoke the butt.  Again, a few puffs, then butt it for the next time.  They get to being really nasty.  When the last of them was gone, I got a bag of suckers and when I wanted a cig, I would eat a sucker.  After the suckers were gone, I was over my desire for the cigs and never looked back.

Lots of   from here, too. I smoked between 2 and 2-1/2 packs a day for about twenty years. And quit many times. And one day I just decided enough was enough. And that was it. That was almost 20 years ago and I know I'm better for quitting. But it is an ongoing struggle and I don't think the craving actually ever goes away. To this day, there are times when I would cheerfully sell my soul for one for cigarette. (I know.....NOT what you wanted to hear!)

What keeps me from starting up again is the cats. They've always lived in a smoke-free home and BooBoo has allergy issues anyway. I won't do that to them.

You can do it! We have faith in you. It's a struggle and it's not easy by any means. But you can do it. 

you all are so wonderful

and providing me with the kind of support that is inspiring me to not give in! 

i had a weak moment this morning right before getting on the bus. and it was all due to time. i got to the bus stop early & the bus was a few mins late. all the anxiety of waiting for the bus, made me buy a pack

i smoked less than half the cig, and then threw it out and regretted it SO MUCH that i spend money on the stupid pack. Cigs are very expensive in NYC. The money i spent on the pack could have been a tube of high end mascara. lol

I still have the pack. I'm gonna give it to my boyfriend for him to hide some place i'll never find it when i see him later today. it tasted soo nasty. and did not provide me with the alleviating light headed-ness i usually get from smoking after a really long time..i just felt like i swallowed the contents of a full ash tray : /

i feel like i became a hermit crab though. i'm avoiding everything and everyone. i hope i don't permanently become this way, and that i'm able to get over this vulnerable state and can normally socialize with people and go about my daily life without feeling like everything is a trigger.

I'm waiting to get over my flu/cold 100%, then i'm going to start jogging/working out. aside from picking up a new hobby to keep myself busy, i've been snacking so much on candy and donuts!! its not good for me. lolllll

also these mood swings and sleepyness is CRAZY. i'm not entirely sure if that moodyness drowsiness could actually be part of me still being sick, but yea...its a bit extreme.

this is probably TMI, but i went from cuddling with my bf watching "orange is the new black", to fighting with him about how he's mean to my cats and he doesn't care about them, (not the case), to making up and being so revved up and ready to go at it, to falling asleep before we get any where and nothing in the world could wake me up. LOLLL poor my boyfriend. i woke up this morning and had to find out from him that "nothing happened" and i felt bad. but on the other hand i slept REALLY good last night haha

I would jsut dump them rather then hide them.  hiding them is knowing they are to some extent within reach. 

I've never smoked, but good luck!

Keep at it: the physical withdrawal symptoms with go, along with the crankiness as the chemicals are cleared from your body! Then is is your mind and your habits you keep working on.  Feeling positive about what you are doing is a really big part of success so all the positive things you can do try to plan in, and don't hide away to much.  If you don't feel ready to go in to social situations where you would usually smoke then try to get people to join you in something a little different, and hopefully if you have people around you who are supportive they will be happy to go along with your plan.

Oh, and secondary smoking isn't just in the air: I think there is evidence to show that children of parent who smoke continue to be at risk from exposure to secondary smoking even when the smoking takes place outside the home so your kitty will always feel the benefit.  And just think how much more sensitive their sense of smell is to ours!   Keep reminding yourself how you didn't like the taste today, that will help too. 

If you are snacking on candy and stuff (which I do all the time and I have no excuses)  then try to think of something else that is going to keep your hands busy, and while you might not usually chew gum try gum, or a fiddling thing for your hands and sugar free mints, esp really stong ones like Smint that you don't just swallow and will give your lungs a blast.

You have made a start and you can keep going. 

I was going through old things passed down in my family. One thing I came across is a lizard cigarette case. It was my dad's. I had never opened it until yesterday. Inside was a pack of Kent cigarettes with several still inside. On the outside he had written the date he quit smoking. I remember when he said he was quitting back in the seventies. He told us then that he was saving his pack, just putting it away. He thought he would crave one more if he knew he didn't have one in the house.

You can do this. You will never be sorry. It is so wonderful to wake up in the morning and not have that taste in your mouth, also to smell clean, not like stale smoke. Keep at it. We are all pulling for you.

Mood swings and sleepiness is normal when quitting.  Some get stomach stuff too.  I just keep reminding myself that I don't want to go through withdrawals again.  And smoking isn't an option anymore.  It's GOING to kill me.

Have you googled any about quitting smoking?  Not that TCS isn't supporting you, but there are forums for quitting smoking.  Not to mention a ton of info out there, everything from facts about healing from quitting smoking to what-happens-if-you-don't-quit-smoking.  Use whatever works.

I remembered something that helped me when I quit, it's the old drinker's saying; Take one day at a time. Don't think you can't smoke for the rest of your life, that is WAY too overwhelming, just quit for today, then tomorrow........I know I hated to hear that people who quit for years would say they still craved one,and I'd think "then why bother, I'm not going to go the rest of my life feeling this way". But you know what? As the years go by it gets rarer and rarer that you truly want one. Yes I still think of it once in a while, 10 years later,but not very often, and now I wouldn't want my grandson exposed to that kind of addictive behavior. I do remember saying to myself, OK, you made it through today, let's try one more! And I was SO proud of myself! YOU can do it too, ONE DAY AT A TIME!

its been a few days since my fumble...

just wanted to update you all with whats going on

I've joined a gym. Gyms NEVER worked for me in the past, because i just stop going after a few days, and working out alone/at home always worked better for me! however, my sister convinced me to join her gym and to go to the gym with her, which is what i've been doing, and its been going okay!

My cravings are so out of whack still. I try maintain a healthy diet, but i keep craving donuts. The BF has been very helpful by getting them for me

I've walked into some stores, and i almost had a break down where i wanted to buy a pack, that was actually my only reason for going into the store, but i walk out with junk food instead : /

my best friend and room mate has also been helpful. Although she is a smoker, she has promised not to smoke around me, or bring up the topic around me, and even if i am DYING and begging her for a cig she will NOT give one to me. 

All the little things add up.

Some things that have been clearly brought to the forefront after not smoking for so long:

1) I have social anxiety issues. 

i thought this was due to the fact that i've quit smoking, but actually, smoking just filled a void for me, and helped me to "cope" with my anxieties. my weekends are boring where all i want to do is stay at home, watch tv, spend time with the cats. i LOATHE going outside for social/fun/recreation purposes. I have to force myself out for work and now gym. i'm hoping over time i will over come this, but i've always had some degree of social anxiety/awkwardness since i was a kid.

2) my sense of smell is insane!!!

i can smell EVERYTHING now. the good, the bad, the horrible. I don't know how to feel about this yet, but i've stocked up on some odor absorbers and air fresheners for the home! i can't control what goes on outside, but my home better be smelling nice!

3) everything tastes intense!

and better!!! OMG. since i've been home a lot, i've also been cooking a lot...and i don't want to toot my own horn but..i think i do pretty good ahahahaaa! i always try to keep it healthy, baked proteins, veggies, and whole wheat carbs. 

4) my hair smells awesome all day long !!!

nuff said!

I want to say "life is great now that i don't smoke!"

but truth be told i'm having a hard time with it still. but i'm taking it one day at a time. 

I wanted to thank you all again for your kind words, and your support i really do come back and look at this thread and re read some of the advice and words of encouragement you all have left me and it really does help me.