Help with making the decision to let go (oral mass)

We recently discovered that my 14 year old cat has an oral mass in her mouth. It appears to be painful and due to this, my cat has stopped eating and has lost weight. I try to force feed her every day with little result. We can either go the invasive route and do a biopsy & surgery which doesn't have great results or palliative care. At this time, I am giving her pain meds. Her eating has not improved much. Giving medication to my cat is such a stress (pain meds, appetitie stimulant) back and forth to vet. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be the one to make the decision to say this is not a good quality of life or should I just let her deteriorate? This is such a difficult and heart breaking decision. Any advice would be great.

Sincerely,
Not ready to let go

Oh, I am so sorry. This is one of the most difficult decisions for a pet owner. No one can tell you when it's time, but hopefully you and your cat can come to an understanding when it is time. I would urge you to listen to what your cat is trying to tell you. You know your cat best and have her best interests in mind, so no one is more qualified to determine when it is time. It is hard to weigh the possible benefits of diagnosis and treatment vs. palliative care. Whatever you decide, enjoy the time you have left with her and show and tell her how much you love her and will miss her. Lots of vibes for her and many hugs for you.

There is a quality of life scale here which may help you to decide. http://www.veterinarypracticenews.c...olumns/bond-beyond/quality-of-life-scale.aspx

I am so sorry you and your kitty are going through this.  I know they say that you will know when it is time but it has always been difficult for me.  I don't think anyone here can really help with this decision.  The quality of life scale does help.  It brings in a detached objective way of looking at your kitty, I know it is hard.

I'm so sorry you are at this point. I had to make the same decision once before and it wasn't easy. Even when you know it is the right decision you question yourself. It does get to a point where it comes down to what is best for your cat and not about your own needs and sorrow. None of us can tell you for sure if it is time as we don't know your cat.

Do you trust and respect your vet? What is your vet's opinion?

This is a good article to help you make your decision :


http://www.thecatsite.com/a/when-is-it-time-making-the-difficult-decision

As vball has said, spend some quality time with your cat and make sure she knows how much you love her.

I had a cat with oral cancer back in 2009. I kept him comfortable for about 3 months before I decided it was time to let him go. At one point, he started to vomit a bit due to other issues, and my thought was that it would be painful when the vomit was in the mouth where the cancer was. So soon afterwards I let him go peacefully at home with an at-home euthanasia. I don't believe the prognosis is particularly great for most oral cancers (I did do a biopsy so I knew it was cancer), so I had chosen to give palliative care and put all my resources at that (regular bloodwork to ensure he was not anemic etc., pain meds etc.). I kept him eating reasonably well until the end.

One question that I find helpful in this awful situation is to ask are you keeping the kitty alive (i) primarily for the kitty (i.e., there is some quality of life there, although of course the owner also is happy in this situation) or (ii) primarily for owner (don't want to let go)? When the answer begins to gradually change from the first answer to the second answer, I know that the time to say good-bye is near.

So very sorry. I've been in a very similar situation and it was one of the most heartwrenching periods of my life. I do look back at that time with no regrets - some wonderful memories were made during palliative care and I think that I said good-bye at just the right time.

Where is the mass? Under the tongue, on the hard palate?

My cat has a esinophillic granuloma on her tongue. It grew very very rapidly. She was fine in April of last year, just noticed it in November and it was HUGE. Turns out it is harmless and it is shrinking with steroid shots. My cat did have a history of allergies so it was not altogether surprising that it was a granuloma.

My cat is also painful when eating - was eating sideways which was why we noticed.

The outcome of treatment depends on the location of the mass. If it is on the jaw bone itself than there is little that can be done.  IF my cat had cancer it would not be treatable as the tongue cannot be removed and it was too large. The first vet who looked at her thought it was cancer as it was infected and looked really nasty. Certainly gave me a horrible scare! She is only 8 yrs old!

 Make sure your vets are certain of the diagnosis before euthanasia.

In general oral cancer is very aggressive and can spread rapidly throughout the body. So if it is cancer I would consider euthanasia, as it will only get worse.

I recently had to put my dog down and it is so tough to make that decision. He may have been saved but it would have been  $5000 to $20,000 and the prognosis was poor. That kind of money would save a lot of dogs at the shelter.  I just keep reminding myself that there are dogs being put down every day in good health, why would I force my dog to suffer treatment when he is in pain? It is still heartbreaking though.

Thank you all for the kind words and support. I printed a copy of the Quality of Life Scale. So far she just makes where it says acceptable. It's a good resource and I will use it again in a week or so. Besides for not eating and losing a lot of weight, I feel everything else is normal for her so it sure is a difficult decision. One decision I have come to terms with is not going through with invasive surgery. She is too old and I would not want to put her through it.

Sarah Ann your response is interesting. I have been told that the mass is in the back left side. (only because a vet was able to open her mouth and get a look) I do feel the Vets always say the worst outcome (maybe to prepare us) but did you go through with a biopsy to see that it was benign and could be treated with steroids? I am wondering if I should get a biopsy done. I was told she may not heal well with a biopsy. I just don't want to go through with sedating her and having the chance of her not recovering fully.   am sorry about your dog and totally understand your thought process of not going through with all of the money.

The chart is a good resource.  Years ago I had a mini schnauzer who had a tumor in her mouth.  I kept her alive probably longer than I should of for my own benefit, she was the first pet that I had ever had to make that decision with.  Looking back once she quit eating and didn't seem to enjoy life any more I should have put her to sleep.

Well I had to put my baby girl down ;(. Definetly was a sad decision but I am lucky that my vet talked me into the right thing. I was able to have one last night with her. We snuggled all night and I told her so many times how much I love her. Most hardest part about being a pet owner. I hope I get over the sadness.

From,
Missing my baby girl [emoji]10084[/emoji]️

Oh dear. So sad. Really sorry to read this.

My condolences.

The TCS team would like you to know that we are so very sorry for your loss. Threads are locked after someone has suffered such a loss, as a sign of respect. We invite you to place a tribute at http://www.thecatsite.com/f/19/crossing-the-bridge as an enduring testimony to your friend.

For those who wish to express their condolences, the Bridge thread is here: http://www.thecatsite.com/t/271284/missing-my-baby-girl