Hello, from New Cat Convert and Family

Hello!

I am excited to have joined the cat site. I grew up with dogs and to faithfully identify as a "dog person". Of course, my chosen mate was a "cat person", so as an open-minded animal lover without the time for a dog at present, months after moving in together/this March we acquired our first kitty. She is a tiny smoke-gray cat who is between 1.5 to 2 years old, and who was found outside by a friend on a cold January day who ended up being unable to care for her. Faced with this mysterious and unintelligible creature, I threw myself into all thing cat-related in an attempt to understand her. Now I am a major cat lover!

Last weekend, we acquired our second and final (for many years at least) kitty, an extremely overweight small-framed three year-old tuxedo who spent the last year in a shelter. She shares many of the personality traits of our Gracie- playful, talkative, curious, adaptable- with the added benefit that she enjoys extensive physical affection. Dubbed Squeak for the sound of her meows, she was listed in the shelter as friendly with other cats, dogs, and children. She was among the cats who enjoyed roaming around freely with other shelter cats, but she was adopted and returned once previously (after 3 days) for being aggressive with the adopting household's original cat. Squeak and Gracie have been kept separate for the past week with a few opportunities to look at each other, but introductions have been on hold for the past few days for unrelated reasons.

I am looking forward to getting to know you all, as well as reporting how our introductions progress.

Pics of Gracie & Squeak:

Hey! I noticed you haven't had any replies yet. I'm new here too so welcome from one new cat lover to another  Although I've been around more cats than dogs, I always considered cats to be a bit too elusive and called myself a dog-person as well. I had one very sweet cat up until about 5 years ago and thought he was just a one off. I'm happy to be proven wrong. My new kitten, Jasper, has definitely converted me to a true cat admirer. Your cats are adorable! How ironic that Squeak makes such a tiny sound and is, well....very portly, shall we say  I don't have any experience with introducing cats to each other, but I'm sure you'll find lots of good advice here if you do have any problems. I look forward to hearing more about Gracie and Squeak!

Thanks for the welcome, My Boy Jasper! He is a cutie! How old is he?

I know. Squeak is very silly indeed. Obviously, for her health, we are helping her lose weight... but to be honest, a part of me is going to miss all the ridiculousness of her when she is so, ahem, portly.  

I don't know exactly how old Jasper is but the vet thinks he is about 4 months. He was found with his brother in a backyard and put up for adoption at the vet clinic. He's a funny little guy. While he's very confident with me, he's incredibly shy around anyone else. That's a wonderful thing you're doing for Squeak. She's very lucky to have found you!

I love Jasper's tall ears! They are almost fox-like.

Yes, Squeak is lucky. Now if she could only learn not to hiss at Gracie...

Welcome to you both. Msbedelia, thank you for helping Squeak. Introducing her and Gracie slowly will be the best approach. Cats are very territorial, so they need to get to know one another gradually. She' also probably stressed by her new home, new food, new everything!

My boy Jasper - for some reason, I can't see a picture of Jasper. I'd love to see those ears! Sooner or later, others will pop in here, so keep posting and keep us posted.

Haha! Yes, I have thought his ears are kinda large too. But I think it's possibly the angle of the camera/phone too. I wonder if he'll grow into them? I can tell him he has no excuses for ignoring me when I talk to him 

I don't know why you can't see the pic in my avatar Ondine. If you're interested, I think if you click on my profile you should be able to see more photos of him that I posted in a couple of other threads.

As I said, I have no experience introducing cats. But I guess I would just say be patient, which I'm sure you are or you wouldn't have chosen to help Squeak with her weight issue. When I brought Jasper home he was very anxious with his new surrounds. He hissed at me and looked for an escape route for the first few days. It was quite heart wrenching. But when he made the decision to accept me, it happened quickly. Though it still took him a couple of weeks to really relax. I think if Squeak got along well with the shelter cats and has accepted you and your partner, that's promising. I wonder if she feels threatened being in Gracie's territory. If Gracie's not showing any aggression, maybe Squeak just needs time to realise she's not a threat and to stamp out her own territory. If Squeak spent a year at the shelter, maybe she got used to being a bit of a 'top cat' and now the tables have turned? I've also seen people recommend the product Feliway for settling in new cats. I used a bit of rescue remedy with Jasper on his third day with me, and he did come out of hiding and closer to me, but I can't say that wouldn't have happened anyway.

One more thought. Squeak probably met a lot of new cats at the shelter and I'm guessing some of them wouldn't have been too friendly. Perhaps Squeak has met a wide variety of cat temperaments, maybe had some bad experiences, and she just doesn't know yet which type of cat Gracie will be.

That's a very good point. The original adopter may also have simply brought her home, thinking she was used to cats at the shelter. But all cats are different. She needs time to acclimate.

Think about it this way. How long did it take you to get used to the sounds of your new house? Same idea.

Ondine- Thanks for the welcome and the input!

Jasper's Person- The ears remind me a little of the ears on my chihuahuas growing up (though Jasper is all feline and they were not ^^). They will be an adorable defining feature if they stay.

I am not a patient person by nature, but I do have / am continuing to develop the skills to be as patient as I need to be, even if I don't like it! Squeak is certainly helping me with that.

Squeak and Gracie are both pretty outgoing for cats. When we brought Gracie home, she came right out of her carrier the minute we opened it, took a tour around the room, and then stopped in front of the door- where we were still standing- and indicated she would please like to explore the rest of the apartment, which she did, without hiding. She was wary of us in a comfortable way, as in "I acknowledge and have no problem with your presence, as long as you stay about a foot away from me until I further assess you." She's not a lap cat, but within a day or two she would ask us to pet her whenever we came home.

Squeak was the same way, except she emerged from the carrier and started head-butting us into petting her before exploring her room and then asking if she could see the rest of the place (no, because of Gracie, though now we site-swap). Like Gracie, she copes with things absurdly well for a cat, though she is slightly more fearful than her new sib- our neighbors had work done on their roof today, and Squeak found the loud unpredictable noises somewhat disturbing, though not so disturbing she didn't try to find the source eventually. Gracie sat through my dad installing cabinetry in our kitchen without batting an eye or even avoiding the room (and her hearing is every bit a good as Squeak's). I think such general laid-backishness, admirable and enjoyable though it is, makes this natural introduction process more disconcerting; these guys so rarely ask us to be patient with them in other ways.

Squeak is the more obvious and even more frequent aggressor, but Gracie does occasionally stare her down or (if someone accidentally gets out or jumps a gate) stalk Squeak. Gracie's approach seems to alternate between backing off / showing Squeak deference, challenging Squeak with a good stare or standing her ground or stalking, or (I think) occasionally trying to play with Squeak. So she's not totally innocent, but we get the impression Squeak is the one holding up any peace treaties.

I am sure that the original adopters saw "good with other cats" on her sheet and just plunked her down in their household with their cat. Even if they tried slower intros than that, three days is not enough time to let everyone adjust / certainly is too fast for Ms. Squeak. So I'm not too terribly concerned about that, but it is frustrating to have in the back of one's head when one is wondering when these two are gonna get it together!

Playtime for each simultaneously, separated by a baby gate, followed by meals at the baby gate seem to allow them to coexist peacefully, though the hissing starts again soon after that if you don't close the door or Gracie starts sticking her paws under the door. Feliway is being delivered today, which I am excited about.

I think you have something with Squeak used to being the top-cat / having had a variety of experiences with other cats / maybe even being used to the other established shelter cats and knowing what to expect from them. I was reading one of Temple Grandin's books, and based on that I was also wondering if perhaps the shelter cats were a sort of cat colony and Squeak therefore sees Gracie as an intruding cat. This is actually my favorite hypothesis right now. Further complicating things is that Gracie, as she approaches 2 years old, may be just approaching or hitting full cat social maturity, which can throw all sorts of cat relationships for a loop even if they're established.

We're certainly dedicated to this process. I keep reminding myself that I have to have faith in time and in the process. I think that- based on their histories, personalities, and how much time we spend away from home when I'm in school- both cats will ultimately be happier with a feline companion than without one, though they don't know it right now and vehemently deny that that's the case.

I think you have great insights into these two. What lucky kitties they are!

Thankyou Ondine. That is the essence of what I was thinking, only I have would have taken about half a million words to say so

I worry a bit that Jasper is too shy. If the doorbell even rings he will have shot off to a hiding place in seconds. And then I have to coax him out and show him that no one is actually inside. But in the absence of anyone else around he is just a normal kitty. I think he may be able to get used to new people but it would be a slow process.






 

I wouldn't worry about it. Chester, the cat in my avatar, has never been seen by anyone but me, my husband and my granddaughter. Oh and the vet but that's only because we trap him and take him. He heard the workmen doing the enclosure, which is 30 feet from our house, and hid under the bed all day!

Hello. Just read through your thread and it seems you are doing everything the experts say to do.  So the only other thing I might do is to rub each other's scent on them ...rubbing the head of one and then the other ...maybe switching blankets or bedding of each with the other? I bet with time they will sort it out.

Good luck with your wonderful adoptions! Lucky kitties.

Ondine- Well, thank you. I will keep that in mind when I am fretting and being perfectionistic.

Jasper's Owner- He sounds like a love. You could try bringing out an irreducible interactive toy, very casually, in situations when he is shy or frightened. If he doesn't come out, that's fine, he's probably watching though. Eventually, if you do it regularly, he may venture out a bit. Pam Johnson-Bennett recommends such a strategy to build confidence and decrease fear in situations. He may always be on the shy side, though.

-Carol- Yes, I am trying very hard to follow expert advice, especially since they're a little rocky! I have been doing some scent swapping with bedding, etc. I think I was discouraged bc I couldn't see any obvious benefits, but I think I just need to do everything I can and have faith in time and the process. I think this is somewhat like dealing with my cat allergies- there's no one thing that makes a clear difference. It's everything combined that does the trick, and it can be hard to disentangle what is most effective and what is least effective. Also, I was thinking of brushing Squeak a few times a week because she sheds like crazy, and perhaps brushing Gracie before and after.

My long term plan if we continue to not make visible progress is Jason Galaxy essences and clicker training, while continuing to play and feed together.

My wonderful boyfriend is not much of a help here. He has a minimalist approach to pets that involves keeping them alive and hoping for the best, while being skeptical that we really know anything about cats and concluding that therefore any strategy is as valid as any other. So I really appreciate the support here. It's very sustaining to me as we begin our third week as a family of four.

Yeah I'm cool with it if Jasper is shy by nature. I'm a quiet person so we make a good pair. I'm thinking of him as my secret cat. I just wish I could show other people what a darling he is! Surprisingly, yesterday he stood in the passage way and looked at my Mum. But soon as Mum spoke, he was off. And right now, he's under a blanket at my feet because some people were having a conversation out on the street a bit too close to the window. I think you're right about using toys to bring him out, msbedelia. It worked once to get him into the living room when my sister was with me. But soon as he saw her, he ran off. I think if someone else was around for a few days he would work up the confidence, with toys and food to entice him.

My boyfriend is a bit of a concern to me too - I'm sure he would leave a door or window open and just figure Jasper wouldn't go far even if he got outside. This is the same boyfriend who thought he would change the tank water when I had fish, didn't follow any of the instructions, and six delicate fish promptly died! I'm not suggesting yours would do anything like that, but I do understand it can be frustrating when you try hard to make something work and someone else doesn't quite appreciate it  

It sounds like Jasper is making social progress in his own way!

Ugh, boyfriends. How is Jasper with the bf? We have our indoor babies cats and microchipped ($10 microchipping on weekends at a local pet store), because Gracie is skinny enough she could probably melt through a wall if she tried. But with all e traffic and wildlife near us, it's terrifying to think about them getting out!

I live on a busy road so I'm also pretty scared about Jasper getting out. He is chipped and neutered but it's cars that worry me. I once had a kitten that disappeared despite being chipped so I'm not exactly confident that if he got out the micro-chip would help much. How weird is it when you feel the chip under their skin! Jasper hides from my boyfriend too. I will start trying to encourage Jasper to be more social but I've just been letting him hide.

I like to think the chip would help if someone took them to a vet or a shelter; and of course, I like to think people would do that because I like to think of people as good and animal-friendly, which is not always the case. We have a semi-busy street surrounded by an urban area to one side, and a densely forested suburb with lots of animals on the other. So cars and raccoons are both big threats.

Gracie, thankfully, has come to respect the boundary of the doors. We don't have to quickly slide in and out of the apartment like we did when we first got her. I think she has come to accept this as her territory. Squeak hasn't been too much of an issue yet because she's still mostly in her room. Her size also makes it easier to block her. ^^

I haven't really noticed that you can feel the chip under the skin! When I read that, I tried to feel Gracie's, but she only Ike's being touched when she's invited it and then only certain places and very briefly. So I was quickly pushed away, with claws out warning me that she didn't want to scratch me but she would.