I think they think I'm better than I really am.

Good things are happening at work for me but, I've gotta tell you, it's making me a little nervous...

Readers Digest version:
I am a Business/Systems Analyst (computer geek) and the primary breadwinner at home. In 2000, I got laid off. I was out of work for almost two years. It was horrible. It all happened 4 months after my squeeze and I got married. Bruce was my rock and kept me from going off the deep end. My confidence was poo and, like many many other folks in the country, I couldn't find work to save my life. I wound up working 4 (yes 4) crappy minimum wage paying jobs just to pay the rent. Our life was hell. It was the most humbling experience of my life.

Then, the clouds parted last November and I landed this job!!! It's doing what I was meant to do (Analyst)! YAY ME! It's great here and I love it! Not to mention how thankful I am to even have this job. Things are finally looking up for us. The future's so bright, I have to wear shades, right?

Well, here's my thing. I've been here 10 months and have worked my butt off. Apparently, hard work pays off and there are 3 different groups that want me to work for their teams. Cool huh? I'm very excited about the prospects but my confidence is shot. I can't help but feel that maybe they think I'm better than I really am. In my head, I think I'm full of crap and that one day the jig will be up and they'll see that I really suck.

I know I'm smart and very good at what I do, but the last few years really did a number on me.

I guess I'm just really writing this to vent. Not sure what I'm looking for. But thanks for listening. I appreciate the ear.

Toni, trust me when I say that the company sees you for exactly what you are. You are smart, knowledgable and most of all you have a good work ethic. That is pretty hard to come by these days. You DO deserve these kudos! You have worked hard and it does pay off.

I'm in the same profession as you are and have been there for 24 years. I know I do a great job (get top ratings every year), but am also terrified that I will lose my job. It doesn't matter how well you perform, most jobs in our field are simply at risk right now. My company is projecting about 6000 layoffs in the next 2 years to be "offshored".

You can't take any of this personally. You kick butt and out perform others, but still get the luck of the draw when it comes to layoffs. Personally, I'm working my way towards a career change to use as a safety net for the eventuality that my job is gone.

Don't dwell on this too long - what happens will happen....just make sure you are doing things to protect yourself in the long run!

have some confidence in yourself TONIM68.. u can do it only if u believe in yourself...

They are lucky to have you and they know it. Take pride in the job well done and have faith in your ability!

Thanks for the well wishes and good advice. I really appreciate the positive vibes!

And, yes, Momofmany, this market is the pits for folks in out line of work. It used to be "the" business to be in, but now there are too many of us and too few jobs. Maybe that's why I'm so thankful to be here. But I appreciate the kick in the butt. EVERYONE can be replaced and I always am aware of any opportunities that present themselves.

Thanks guys.