I am distraught and need advice regarding my feral

This is my first time on this site and I was hoping to get some feedback. I had a feral cat that I fed for 2 1/2 years. She had two kittens before that I was able to catch and took to a no kill shelter. She became pregant again and I couldn't ever trap her to get her spayed. I had left my garage door propped open for a year but someone broke in and stole my bike. My kids' dad that I live with is not an animal person and is not sensitive at all regarding the cat and has been upset I leave the door propped. I just couldn't keep leaving the garage door open and I couldn't keep letting her have kittens.  I trapped her the other day which made me feel awful b/c she was hungry so finally went in the trap. I found a shelter an hour away that has a feral cat colony and I paid them $100 to take her. They told me when I got her there that they would spay her on tuesday and abort the kittens. They will place her in the colony and she will have outdoor shelter. They have 82 ferals there. I am so upset and miss her so much. I am worried she is scared and homesick. It dawned on me when I was driving off that she would not get the science diet and wet food that i fed her every day. She is going to get the cheap stuff I guess. I feel like a horrible person but she would not let me touch her after 2 1/2 years. We want to move in a year and I don't want to leave her to fend for herself. I have been crying for the last three days and feel so guilty and horrible. My kids' dad will be pissed off but I just want to go get her. Is she better at the colony? I've never had a feral before. Im worried she is miserable. Will she adjust? What would you do?

Hi Kimmie, hugs to you    It is a hard thing to give her up but you have gone above and beyond to do what you can for this cat - waaaay more than most people.    I too might face doing the same thing depending on how things work out with the feral kitty I'm feeding.  I feel similar conflicts.  If you were to take the cat back (which I guess is still an option up to her spay day) you'd still have the challenge of re-trapping her when you move, caging her for a few weeks to get her to imprint on the new location all without the support of your husband I'm guessing.    Only you know whether that option is really what you want.   She'll get less personal care at the colony but if it's well-managed I think she'd still have a decent life and really that's more than most stray cats get by a long shot.    Maybe others can weigh in too.  

As much as it hurts now, I think you've done the right thing. She now has a certain home for the rest of her life, will always have food and is safe from cars or capture or other worries. Add to that the spaying, and the termination of her current pregnancy, and she'll also have a healthier life too. It will hurt, for a while, but it sounds like a good situation for her.
 

I agree; it will hurt (longer than you'd like), but she will do well in a managed cat colony.

Once you get to your new location, perhaps you can go to a shelter/cat sanctuary and adopt a cat....

You did exactly the right thing for this kitty, Kimmie.  She will get used to being part of a group that has a schedule and that's what they need.  Please don't worry about her - she'll be fine!

Thanks for caring about her ...

I really don't know what other choice you had, it's natural to be scared and worried for her because you took care of her for so long. But because she is feral, I believe she will be happier in the long run at the colony. Of course she will be scared at first, I hope the caretakers know how to introduce her. They obviously love cats or they wouldn't have the colony. Is there any way you can keep in touch with the caregivers? It would either put your mind at ease or tell you to place her somewhere else. I'll pray for both of you, please take care and keep us posted.

Di and Bob have an excellent idea--try to find out where the cat colony is and the caretaker.  I'm sure they would love some help feeding the cats, even if only once a month.

I moved 25 miles away from my colony, one of the hardest thing I did.  I'm lucky in that I can visit the colony on the weekends and note which cats have gone elsewhere and which ones have stayed (luckily, my favorite ones).