Cat getting meaner & meaner with age & im pregnant & scared for newborn HELP :(

ok so I have a cat that is about a year old. Very friendly with humans as kitten & through some of her life. Bot so much with animals but not a problem because I dont have any other animals. Her name is Butters. Butters started becoming mean to certain people little by little. At first I thought it was men but 1) she loves my boyfriend her other owner and 2) she is now mean to every guest. Its becoming embarrasing to have her just go out of her way to hiss and attack people. I flick her on the nose tried scaring her with a fly swatter, I even tried the water bottle trick nothing works. She use to just run away knowing she was in trouble & now she just starts hissing at me because I'm telling her no and continues to hiss at guests. She has clawed a couple people that have came over too! Most messed up part is at times she will act innocent and friendly and jump up on peoples laps they start petting her then she turns into a psycho. makes no sense. Now its literally everytime someone is over she s horrible she wont stop growling & people dont even mess with her because I will tell them not to to be safe she still goes out of her way to attack people. I cant do it anymore. I dont know what to do it is getting ridiculous & her starting to show aggresion towards me telling her no now scares me even more.

Now I am 7 months pregnant & terrified to bring my baby home. If she is like this to guests how is she going to act with a newborn. I am so scared to risk introducing her to the baby or anything because it only takes one time & I'm terrified she will attack the baby. I love my cat to death though. she is suxh a sweetheart when it comes to me and her other owner but other people forget about it. Plus I see her beng worse because she will be jealous. I dont know if I can risk it. If she even hissed like she does now to my baby as much as I would want to keep her I dont know if Icould & if i did have to get rid off her how could I? She would attack the people. I am so over the situation & I need help. She isn't sick so I dont want to hear that crap. It is her behavior. She is being a freakin brat.

her dad does play rough with her though. but I dont see how that would make her mean because she isnt mean to us at all. && she knows its playing. She isnt playing by any means with guests. It is straight aggresion with everyone else. She is at a point where she literally looks like she is going to jump on someones face claw and not stop if she got a hold of people.

Hope someone has helping words

Hey, don't be scared. She's a house cat, not a cougar! You should be able to outsmart her, and you outweigh her by at least ten-to-one.

Initially, of course, you'll want to keep the cat away from the baby. Have you read about how to introduce one cat to another? You might do the same with the baby--slow introduction, supervised at first. You can keep the door closed to the room where the baby sleeps.

Is this your first kid? If there are other kids to keep the cat busy, that might help. It is a good thing if the cat gets as much attention after the baby as before, so that the cat knows it is still part of the family.

You say she "isn't sick", but has she had a thorough vet check? Some cats will get aggressive because they are in pain. Older cats, for example, may have arthritis, and grow "cranky" in the way you describe while still being quite healthy, though a year-old cat is unlikely to have that particular problem. Cats are small animals and they know very well how much they are in danger from larger predators--they know not to show weakness.

The cat should not be allowed in the crib, of course. Even with a friendly cat, you don't want the baby grabbing a handful of the cat's fur. There are decorative crib canopies and mosquito netting (You have mosquitoes in your area? You should consider it if they get into the house; baby with mosquito bites is miserable baby!) which you could hang over the crib to make it unpleasant to jump into--please, please, fireproof material though!

The baby will have an advantage: The baby will smell like you from the start. The cat will probably have an easier time accepting a baby as part of its clan than it would accepting a total stranger.

How is your cat about tolerating noise? Babies crying are hard on parents, but a cat doesn't even understand why it's happening. If she doesn't like noise, try offering her some hideaways--you know, those little carpeted cat condo things, which should muffle some of the sound from when your baby decides to take it into their head to re-enact famous operas at 3 a.m.!

Most cats will stay away from a baby's crib, because they don't like the baby's periodic crying. You may find you haven't got much of a problem to deal with, and that the first real problem you have is actually protecting the cat from the baby, who by the time they are six months old will probably be quite willing to attempt to stuff the cat's tail into their mouth.

Have you tried Feliway? It's kind of a pheromone thing, smells like "calm cat". It works for many people and is probably worth a try.

Congrats on your pregnancy! You must be so excited!

First, is she spayed? Some of the behaviors sound a little hormonal. If not, that would be the first thing to do.

Second, no more smacking! That's what makes cats mean. . .I've never met a mean cat who was never smacked. Fly swatter, "flicking", doesn't matter, it scares her and makes her feel the need to defend herself. She may associate the word "no" with being smacked, which could be why she's starting to get defensive when you say it. She needs a safe and kind environment, not a punitive one. Cats do not understand punishment and it only leads to problems. Once trust has been reestablished she shouldn't feel the need to be so defensive.

Put her in another room when guests come over, this will eliminate any incidents. Every time she has an incident with a guest it reinforces the behavior in her mind.

Well, yeah, they don't understand traditional punishment, but that doesn't mean they don't understand cause and effect. That's why it works to set up "traps" for a naughty cat--like a can full of pennies balanced on the edge of a counter, so it drops down and makes noise when the cat jumps up; or sticky tape on a favorite but forbidden scratching surface. If the problematic behavior automatically causes something unpleasant, the cat usually makes the connection. It complicates matters if it's a human doing the reacting, because the cat might very well associate the event (spray of water, say) with your presence, rather than with the cat's actions. The cat sees you as someone who does things for a reason--which, of course, you do--so it is easier to teach a cat if the consequence is automatic rather than something you are doing when you see the cat misbehaving.

I agree with the suggestion that the cat be put in another room so that she does not have the chance to get aggressive with visitors. Every time she hisses at a visitor, she is teaching herself that visitor=scary-must-defend-myself.

Try to figure out whether she is displaying fear aggression. A cat like this will be sort of sideways, fur puffed up to look larger possibly, ears back, crouched down, ready to bolt. That's a cat which feels cornered or invaded, and it's better to give this sort of cat a quiet "time out" than to get angry at it. In this case, "time out" isn't a punishment, but a quiet place where the cat can hide until it is no longer afraid, removing the cat from the problematic situation so that the tension can diffuse.

Willowy said:

First, is she spayed? Some of the behaviors sound a little hormonal. If not, that would be the first thing to do.

Second, no more smacking! That's what makes cats mean. . .I've never met a mean cat who was never smacked. Fly swatter, "flicking", doesn't matter, it scares her and makes her feel the need to defend herself. She may associate the word "no" with being smacked, which could be why she's starting to get defensive when you say it. She needs a safe and kind environment, not a punitive one. Cats do not understand punishment and it only leads to problems. Once trust has been reestablished she shouldn't feel the need to be so defensive.

Put her in another room when guests come over, this will eliminate any incidents. Every time she has an incident with a guest it reinforces the behavior in her mind.

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Cats, just like children, do far better with positive reinforcement. The "punishment" thing just backfires on you, and creates a cycle of distrust, fear, and anger, ESPECIALLY in cats. She needs to know what she's doing right. Start praising her to high heaven when she's being a good girl - playing right, sleeping sweetly, approaching you nicely.... And work on altering her behavior you don't want not with punishment, but by ignoring her and time-outs. She's hissing at you when you say "no" because as pointed out, she's come to associate the word with being hit! This isn't helping anyone - it's a cycle you need to break. Change your word to "stop," instead of no. Both you and her dad need to be consistent.

And what is "aggressive" playing? Is he using ANY body part as a "toy" when he interacts with her? This needs to stop immediately if that's the case.

At this point, to help break her cycle of fear, I would definitely invest in Feliway - it's a synthetic hormone that mimics the "friendly" markers in cats' cheeks, and helps promote a calm and reduce stress for her. It comes in a plug-in or spray. The plug-in is expensive, but in my experience, more effective.


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I would also use Bach's Rescue Remedy - 4 drops added to her food. If you don't feed her wet food, buy some to give her as a treat and put it in that. You can refrigerate the can for later use - just add a little bit of warm water to it before giving her more.

You may also want to start desensitizing your cat to the sound of a baby crying - though I'd wait a couple of weeks until she's feeling more trusting and secure. Play Youtube videos of babies crying, it will help prepare her for what's coming.

 thanks everyone. I dontb eatth e crap out of m y cat just so everyone knows. Sounds lke people think I'm like abusive. they are light  flicks and the fly swatter never hits her the sound of it  or sight bugs her. but no she is not spayed.      I  was afraid if I spayed her she would loose her playful personality. She fetches and still acts as if she is 6 mnths old. Love that about h er because most cats I know are lazy and boring. He does play with her with his hands. Not like rough but where he acts like its a mouse or something. But with people its not fear its strictly aggression like she wants to kill type of behavior. Never seen a cat like this. Its weird. But I will try the time out deal and see how that works. Its just I Feel bad locking her in there for too long. I know I'm bigger and I'm not actually scared of h er myself I just am scared shes going to react this way to the baby & my guests & hurt someone. It is quite annoying & embarrasing having her react like a psycho. She was even going through this phase where she was pooping behind my   night stand even though she always used the litter box. it was cleaned and everything. Luckily got her out of that one. This is my first child & around other peoples children she is horrible literally jumps on their legs & all. Thats what I'm saying if she is that bad with kids I'm scared for my baby. I want to be able to trust my cat & not have to worry about her attacking. I know the baby and cat can not be left alone and all that though but im talking about eventually when my child is older too I want to be able to know my cat is not going to brutally attack my child. I hate to say it because I love my cat she is like my child but  I am not going to risk my ACTUAL shild for a cat. Like I said it will take one time and my baby can get really hurt. I started out trying the positive reinforcement & trust me when she is good I give treats & play fetch and all. She is not neglected when she is good. She is just getting SoOo BAD!! I heard about the Feliway I thought about it.  Migh try that. I already plan on having something to like sorta cover the crib that way I wont have to worry about her in there. Well thanks again guys. helpful suggestions   

The entire problem is because she is not spayed. Spaying does not change a cat's playful personality. NOT spaying creates an unhappy cat. Constant heat cycles makes a cat frustrated and "mean".

Spaying her will reduce the risk of or prevent many health problems, and she will be a much much happier cat. Please, please do get her spayed, right away.

Other than that, I agree with those who say hitting, or threatening to hit, in any form is not the right way to train a cat. Rough play also, is not good, I am guessing you mean he uses his hands and 'man handles' her. Cats may seem to like this, but they will not learn that it is not okay to bite and scratch humans, if you play with them this way. Use toys in the hand, a stuffed animal for her to bite and kick at, and wand toys for stalking and leaping at, and toys that can be thrown for her to chase down.

Welcome to TCS. Please do get her spayed now, before the baby comes.

Urban legend, I think. Spayed cats can be very, very active and curious. I've got one sitting on my lap today, and she acts like this. And Christy is seven years old, so she's not a kitten either.

Yeah, being in heat constantly has a bad effect on a cat. Makes them moody and cranky, and the inappropriate pooping was probably also caused by being unspayed. Got to scent up the place to call the boys in, ya know! :lol3:. I do think that spaying would improve her disposition. . .and if it makes them less playful and active nobody ever told my cats :tongue2:. Overfeeding and lack of exercise/stimulation is what makes cats fat and lazy.

I don't anyone implied you beat your cat. . .but even light swats have a bad effect on them psychologically. It's just not useful, and can lead to some very erratic behavior.

A cat I was co-fostering went in and out of heat every four days, it seemed.  She was miserable, lost a lot of weight and developed a skin problem. Getting her spayed cured all of that and she is now the sweetest cat.

So definitely get her spayed asap.  And cats can't differentiate hands or legs from toys if you use your hands *as* toys so I'd use a feather / wand toy.

Willowy said:

I don't anyone implied you beat your cat. . .but even light swats have a bad effect on them psychologically. It's just not useful, and can lead to some very erratic behavior.

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Totally. If anybody here was thinking you were actually beating your cat, we'd be flaming you and calling in animal control. We just think it's an ineffective technique that'll scare her instead of work to teach her how to behave.

I don't know if spaying is a cure-all, but I do know that a cat's hormones can be really strong--they're not themselves when they're hormonal. And for a cat, there's no romance to reproduction; their hormones just drive them to find a male (or several males) and mate with him/them... When they can't find a male, they feel horrible, out of sorts; even when they do find a male, it's not too pleasant an affair. It's like a huge dose of cranky, crampy, out-of-sorts PMS, without the ability to understand what's happening. And if they find a male, they'll get pregnant over and over, most of the kittens dying... That's how things work for ferals, and they don't live more than two years, on average, without humans to manage the colony.

Cats' reproductive strategy is kind of a "spam kittens and hope some survive" thing. If we leave them as they are, that's what they do--most of the kittens die, though nowadays they tend to die in shelters. But we can make it better for the cats--spay and neuter, so that all kittens will have homes to go to. We domesticated them; I figure it's our responsibility to make domestic life easy on them, and for the girls, that means spaying them so that they don't have to be shut up in a house where they can't get to a tom, or else have kittens that can't find homes. There have been thousands of years of life together as companion species, but there are leftovers from the wild--such as the cat's heat cycle or their ability to reproduce early and often--which can cause them a good deal of trouble if we don't deal with the problem.

I had this exact problem. We adopted a very disturbed cat from the RSPCA who hated men and gave my husband blood poisoning from biting him. Couldn't blame the cat as he had a horrid start in life. We would never give him up as we knew others probably would not tolerate his temperament. I got pregnant and was really scared how he would react to a baby in the house. Strabgely it changed him for the better. He loves our kids (we have 2 now aged 5 and 3) and is very tolerant with them, it is just adults he is not that great with.