What's with all the rude forums? (also a cat story)

[minka]

For some reason, there seems to be a trend. If the forum's url has 'forum' in it, there's about a 100% chance of the members being rude and the admin being snobby. (AKA *the subject*forum.com; the subject could be mushrooms or houses or cars or whatever)


I was on an unrelated forum when the subject of cats came up. The OP has a roommate who free feeds his cat and was wanting to help him upgrade his food quality but was wondering if that would help at all since he does not do any kind of portion control. His roommate was described as not being responsible in his daily life, having weird sleep schedules, and "generally not having his s*** together." The OP was worried he would sleep through feeding times if the cat had them. His roommate decided to add a new kitten to the mess.
I didn't have much else to say other than 'What's this guy doing getting a new kitten if he can't take care of himself? What happen if it turns out to be a trouble maker or gets sick or tears up the apartment when he's sleeping for who knows how long?'
The OP replied that it's hard situation to explain unless you know him, blah blah. I replied that I can only go by what you told us, and the bantering back and forth continued.
He later mentioned that his roommate took the kittens to the ER when they got sick so I said that was good enough for me and I felt at ease with the situation now but the OP continued to come at me so I stopped replying.

Now here's the kicker:
This guy went into my profile and found my recent posts and started replying/counter arguing on every thread I'd posted on!!! And this guy was a senior member, there since 2009, with almost 4,000 posts! Talk about welcoming!


THEN later on a new member had asked in the general forums if she could change her username. An admin said no, so I suggested she just make a new account since she had barely made any posts. (10-20) The admin said if she did that, it would result in a permanent ban on both accounts and further banning on any other accounts she made in the future. A couple of users (including myself) questioned this. The admin came back to say there is no way to change usernames and arguing with the admins is a bad idea.
One of the members came back and replied that he has worked on vBulletin forums before and politely explained the process. He was permanently banned....


I think I'm going to avoid all _____forum.com's in the future....

 

[lorie d.]

How terrible!  I'm glad TCS isn't anything like that other site you were on.

 

[Draco]

I find that too.. and the cat site is the only one I stuck with (well, there's a betta forum that I was on for a while, but when I stopped keeping bettas, I stopped going to the site)

the other forums I couldn't seem to stick around on

 

[feralvr]

TCS is the only online "site" I have joined. I was NOT a computer person before TCS!!! :lol3: So I don't know about other sites, but certainly wouldn't want to take part in all the drama and "rudeness". Nope, I think TCS is just right for me. Sorry about that negative exchange, hun!!!

 

[catspaw66]

It's a combination of anonymity and a lack of respect for others. If nobody knows who you are, it is easy to trash-talk.  Our society is filled with lack of respect in movies, television, sports, politics and just about everything we experience. 

 

[Willowy]

I definitely agree that the moderating here is the best I've ever seen!

 

[-_aj_-]

I hate forums like that to! I'm big into cars as well so I'm on a few of them forums to and they can really get bitchy, I've walked away from a few of them lol

That's why I love it here everyone is so friendly

 

[otto]

I hate forums like that to! I'm big into cars as well so I'm on a few of them forums to and they can really get bitchy, I've walked away from a few of them lol
That's why I love it here everyone is so friendly

I joined a car forum once to ask a specific question. I was driven out by the ridicule and arrogant replies. A few years later I had another car related question. I tried a different car forum this time but the same thing happened.

I really found it odd that "car people" are so arrogant and obnoxious to people looking for help.

I was quite...stunned...by the hostility both times.

 

[minka]

I joined a car forum once to ask a specific question. I was driven out by the ridicule and arrogant replies. A few years later I had another car related question. I tried a different car forum this time but the same thing happened.

I really found it odd that "car people" are so arrogant and obnoxious to people looking for help.

Have you never said the wrong thing about someone's car and had them get really mad?:lol3:
I had said to one of my exes that 'For loving your car so much, you sure don't take good care of it.' He made a displeased face and said "What are you talking about, I take good care of her!" 'Babe, no you dont. You're overdue on an oil change, your wipers are squeaky, you havent washed it in months, your doors dont unlock right anymore and you dont even know how you ended up with a trunk full of water!!' He gave me the silent treatment for a while.

 

[-_aj_-]

I've said the wrong stuff plenty times. Yeah I find a lot of car forums the members are just horrible I co own a owners forum and we have a great laugh on it I catch someone being or starting to look as if its going to be nasty they get told no ifs and buts I want a nice pleasant atmosphere

 

[otto]

Have you never said the wrong thing about someone's car and had them get really mad?:lol3:
I had said to one of my exes that 'For loving your car so much, you sure don't take good care of it.' He made a displeased face and said "What are you talking about, I take good care of her!" 'Babe, no you dont. You're overdue on an oil change, your wipers are squeaky, you havent washed it in months, your doors dont unlock right anymore and you dont even know how you ended up with a trunk full of water!!' He gave me the silent treatment for a while.

I wasn't saying things about other people's cars. I had specific questions about MY car. But the responses, both times, in two separate forums, were ridiculing and hostile. Instead of helping me, they wanted to tell me what piece of junk cars I was driving. It was a very unpleasant experience, and it happened in two different forums, with two different cars.

 

[ibiscribe]

This guy went into my profile and found my recent posts and started replying/counter arguing on every thread I'd posted on!!! And this guy was a senior member, there since 2009, with almost 4,000 posts! Talk about welcoming!

Oy, I've met people who are like that. If he's decided he has a bone to pick with you, there's really nothing you can do with your limited online presence to dissuade him, except leave, or try to get a moderator on your side--and hope they're efficient at their job. I had to do that on one forum because these two fellows were trolling me like that, and when I asked the moderator for help... she banned the people who had tried to stick up for me, and told the trolls to "carry on". :S Needless to say I left there pretty fast; if the moderators have taken the attitude that "trolling is just something that happens", the forum's overall atmosphere can only get worse with time!

I've noticed that .forum type of sites, which are part of a larger domain or franchise sort of setup, seem to attract baser quality of members in general, maybe because they're so public; I usually browse a forum for a while before joining to make sure it has a good atmosphere, and I've never hung around one of those sorts of forums long enough to actually join. The behavior of the members always turns me off first.

All of the forums I've joined and stuck with are smaller "home-made forums" set up by one or two people, either with a forum package or (in one case) coded from scratch. If it's someone's personal forum that they created because they love the topic in question, they're going to be more discriminating about who gets to mod and what kind of behavior will be allowed, etc. It also puts more responsibility on the moderators and administraotrs to do a good job, because they're probably friends with the site owner, want to do right by him, and know he'll be around to kick their behinds if they abuse their powers. Out of the very worst forums I've visited, they were all ones where the original owner had basically left the picture, so it was just the various moderators squabbling amongst themselves and having their little power trips over the rest of the members. Those forums had degraded into anarchy, in other words.

 

[rad65]

For some reason, there seems to be a trend. If the forum's url has 'forum' in it, there's about a 100% chance of the members being rude and the admin being snobby.

The trend isn't that places with forum in their name are rude, the trend is that people on the internet are rude. Fora are just the most convenient places to gather to show off how rude these people really are, because these people can build up a loyal following of like-minded trolls. If you think these people are rude, try reading the comments on your favorite youtube video, or comments on any other website that has them allowed. The internet has turned these people into faceless ghosts who feel confident because they can indulge their baser urges without any fear of repercussions. 

 

[catspaw66]

The Internet: A place where you can share your secrets with people you would never allow near your property.

 

[jcat]

THEN later on a new member had asked in the general forums if she could change her username. An admin said no, so I suggested she just make a new account since she had barely made any posts. (10-20) The admin said if she did that, it would result in a permanent ban on both accounts and further banning on any other accounts she made in the future. A couple of users (including myself) questioned this.

That's TCS policy, though, too, and done to maintain coherence. It's also the way things work on all the forums I'm a member of.

Forum Rules

1. One account per person please.

rad65 is right about the comments on YouTube and other sites. You really have to wonder what those people's lives are like if they have to be so nasty online. It's one thing to come across as too blunt, and quite another to deliberately put everybody down in the rudest possible terms.

 

[minka]

THEN later on a new member had asked in the general forums if she could change her username. An admin said no, so I suggested she just make a new account since she had barely made any posts. (10-20) The admin said if she did that, it would result in a permanent ban on both accounts and further banning on any other accounts she made in the future. A couple of users (including myself) questioned this.

That's TCS policy, though, too, and done to maintain coherence. It's also the way things work on all the forums I'm a member of.

Forum Rules

1. One account per person please.

Yea, but to ban someone for asking about it? That seems rediculous.

 

[rad65]

Yea, but to ban someone for asking about it? That seems rediculous.

The problem with a lot of admins on those forum sites is that they were regular users until they reached a ridiculous number of posts, usually a few thousand, then the site owner or head admin noticed and invited that person to become a moderator or admin. Since that person started off as a regular user, they see that promotion to admin as validation for everything they have contributed to that site. This leads to really arrogant admins who won't listen to anybody else and think they are the center of the universe.

Incidentally, the crazy people who have thousands of posts on forum sites in less than a year are usually people with no social skills and limited real-life responsibilities, i.e. the people you would never put in charge of anybody else if you knew them in real life.

 

[AbbysMom]

[

Incidentally, the crazy people who have thousands of posts on forum sites in less than a year are usually people with no social skills and limited real-life responsibilities, i.e. the people you would never put in charge of anybody else if you knew them in real life.

Hey! I'm one of those crazy people. :lol3: I resent that.

 

[rad65]

Hey! I'm one of those crazy people.

I resent that.

Yeah, that was bad wording on my part 

. The entire time I was writing my response, I was picturing a file sharing website's forum that I used to frequent, and the people with lots of posts there definitely are crazy. I've never really considered TCS as a standard forum, since most posts here are members helping out each other with real life problems involving their cats.

 

[otto]

:lol3: