outside deck cat semi feral/thinner

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
My mother has an outside cat for about 9 years now he sleeps on the deck and is well fed. A couple months ago he had a bad abscess so we had him trapped. He was neutered had rabies and seemed very happy. Lately I noticed he is getting thinner and sleeps alot. he does eat and seems happy but I feel so bad my mom will not let me touch him as she is ill with dementia. Also I noticed when I go around outside to the deck he does not runaway like he use to. I do not live at my moms condo but go everyday. He was drinking alot of water  for a while have not noticed it lately. What should I do. Leave him in peace where he is. Trapping him again will only upset him. It could be age, kidneys I don't know but he is thinner and sleeps alot and has those sad eyes. He also smells my hand through the screen and rubs against the screen in a happy state.
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
Hi hun, yes I do remember your taking this cat in for your mother and getting the abscess treated. It really could be any number of things going on. IF he is truly getting thinner, sleeping a lot more, and drinking more water, he is sick and probably needs a vet, if you can. I know you have a problem trying to explain this to your mother as she does not understand. BUT you have to think of the cat and might have to take the cat away and get him some help. Why does our mother not want you to pet this cat? It seems to me that this kitty is asking to be loved because of the rubbing on the screen door on your hand. He might be trying to tell you something if this is a new behavior. I would start giving him some attention, petting him and see if you can just get him into a crate to take him to the vet. I would also start feeding him canned kitten food and see if you can spur his appetite a bit. It is possible that since his neutering, he is calming down now and there is no need or desire for him to roam. The weight loss, though and the drinking is a sign of a health problem. :nervous: I am sorry about that... and I hope you are able to help him one way or another. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
Last edited:
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
He is fed canned food all the time and eats well.. My mom has alz and her REASONING is gone. So whenever I try to help him or pet him she gets very upset She also thinks I'm bringing germs inside as she has indoor only cats.. She thinks I'm scaring him etc. Its a difficult situation. But I keep trying. She would never act like this but the alzheimers has ravaged her mind. I've talked to the person who trapped him months back so I'll see what I will do.I'm there everyday but will try again as I do everyday perhaps with a can of tuna..
 

ritz

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 2, 2010
Messages
4,656
Purraise
282
Location
Annapolis, MD
First, thank you so much for taking care of the cat for your mom.  My (twin) sister was in a similar position when my mother developed alzheimers and she could no longer take care of Lovey Dovey (a dog).

I do think the cat needs to be seen by a vet, pretty soon too if possible.

Your mom's reasoning is gone and so is her short term memory.  If my mother said the sky was purple and she wanted to eat fried onion rings with her dry cereal, we said, you're right, and here are the onion rings and what kind of cereal would you like.

Can you tell your mom that you want to take the cat to the doctors to get rid of the "germs", but that you first have to feed the cat some food so you can take the cat to the doctors?  (I don't know if your mother will believe that the food has drugs in it to make the germs go away.) 

Can you yourself adopt the cat?

Best of luck.
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
I also wonder, as Cindy, if you could concoct a story to tell your mom. She might just forget all about what you told her in the first place, I am sorry your mom has that awful disease.... My uncle has ALZ and it is so sad. I just wonder if you could tell you mom a "white lie" and that the cats germs have all been taken away. He is germ free after being at the vet :dk: This cat is elderly now being almost nine or ten years old (or more??) and living in the outdoors his whole life. He might really have an underlying health issue at this point that needs to be addressed :dk: You have a good, loving heart to want to help this kitty and keep your mom calm at the same time. :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
Last edited:
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
The cat would have to be trapped and my mom constantly looks out the deck porch area where the cat is. He seems to breath heavily but at the same time seems content in his own way. Its a tough call. He eats well though. Is drinking a lot of water. I'll keep an eye on him. to stress him out more could be worse. I'll see. Its a shame my mom doesn't realize that the cat is not well. She feels threatened when you say almost anything to her.
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
The cat would have to be trapped and my mom constantly looks out the deck porch area where the cat is. He seems to breath heavily but at the same time seems content in his own way. Its a tough call. He eats well though. Is drinking a lot of water. I'll keep an eye on him. to stress him out more could be worse. I'll see. Its a shame my mom doesn't realize that the cat is not well. She feels threatened when you say almost anything to her.
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: You are doing the best you can. You will know when and if this kitty truly needs to be taken in. It will not be easy on you because of your mother's condition, but I suspect you are getting used to having to smooth things over in her mind for her. A tough spot to be in, for sure. :hugs: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
Thank You for that. I appreciate it. He lies around happily and I even got to pet him a little very fast before my mom freaked. He then went to lie down on his beds I made for him. Put food out but he didn't want it but he is more use to her putting it out and it was early. But who knows. I just want to pet him and be with him as much as I can if and when he lets me. The heck with my mom at this point. So day by day we'll see. Have had cats my whole life but not ferals evens though I have one now after my two indoor cats died at 13. I'll follow my gut with this guy. I'll make sure he's not suffering. For now he seems content and safe where he is and likes my mom.
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
Thank You for that. I appreciate it. He lies around happily and I even got to pet him a little very fast before my mom freaked. He then went to lie down on his beds I made for him. Put food out but he didn't want it but he is more use to her putting it out and it was early. But who knows. I just want to pet him and be with him as much as I can if and when he lets me. The heck with my mom at this point. So day by day we'll see. Have had cats my whole life but not ferals evens though I have one now after my two indoor cats died at 13. I'll follow my gut with this guy. I'll make sure he's not suffering. For now he seems content and safe where he is and likes my mom.
Excellent plan, I couldn't agree more with your line of thinking. He is a lucky boy to have you looking out for him and sneaking him pets and love. :heart3: :clap::clap::clap: :vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #10

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
Well the poor stray cat seems much thinner. he even let me pet him. He eats and drinks water but is very thin and sleeps alot. He looks at me so sadly . My heart wants to help him but yet He seems happy in his own way. Vets around here will put him down. he is about 10 or 11 years old and was TNR and had rabies  months back. He seemed to come around then but always was drinking tons of water. I feel I should leave him for now and watch very carefully, I guess. It will be very hard to trap him with my ill mother there. She'll never let me do it. This is killing me  I feel so bad!!!
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
Just keep on watching this kitty the way you are. If he really is getting thinner and drinking so much water but still eating and acting alright, then just keep watching over him. When and if he gets very ill, then you must trap him and get him to the vet. Your mother will just have to be told, somehow, someway. At that point, you will have to put the cats needs before hers so he doesn't suffer. :sigh: I know this is a tough position you are in. :hugs: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
Last edited:
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
just got back. I made chicken and gave him cat food. he came up to the screen so I opened it and pet him while my mother watched but at the same time freaked. The cat is very bony but seems content in his own way. I just wonder does he want me to pick him up and take him or is he just liking me as he was just fixed months back. I know sometimes when they are ill they can be more friendly.  I could if someone distracts my mother probably get him in a carrier but yet he seems content its just that he sleeps more and is getting thin. Water intake is so so. he is about 11 or so I think. To take him put him through tests I just don't know if he'd want that. I want to help him but yet I don't know whats best. My gut says watch him and leave him but then I like to think maybe I can save him and help him??
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
just got back. I made chicken and gave him cat food. he came up to the screen so I opened it and pet him while my mother watched but at the same time freaked. The cat is very bony but seems content in his own way. I just wonder does he want me to pick him up and take him or is he just liking me as he was just fixed months back. I know sometimes when they are ill they can be more friendly.  I could if someone distracts my mother probably get him in a carrier but yet he seems content its just that he sleeps more and is getting thin. Water intake is so so. he is about 11 or so I think. To take him put him through tests I just don't know if he'd want that. I want to help him but yet I don't know whats best. My gut says watch him and leave him but then I like to think maybe I can save him and help him??
It certainly won't hurt to at least get him to the vet and see if they can at least run some basic blood work. It is VERY possible that his friendliness is actually "I just don't feel good and am trying to tell you". I had a feral reach out to me in that way once. It took me a few weeks to figure it out. But I was able to get this cat into a crate quite easily and off to the vet. I would go with your heart on this. Maybe the vet who did the TNR would help you with making costs very reasonable to run the blood work :dk: Doesn't hurt to ask. If you can get blood work done, then you will be able to find out IF anything is going on and can make a decision at that point. But at least that is a start. Whatever you decide - it is neither right or wrong. This kitty has had a good life at your mom's and is now relying on you to make these decisions. Tough, I know... :nervous: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
Last edited:
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #14

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
Well I contacted the place that did TNR on the cat.  Which at 10 years old was a little much. Just wanted an abcess looked at but they fixed him and did rabies and other shots. But thtas done. I contacted this no kill shelter and asked if they could recommend or help me out if I need to put this cat down as he is extremely thin. I had donated to them as well. They said thye could not. I was looking for a vet that could at least give me a break on put down cost or even blood test. They would not help. They said try a vet far away out of town. I called them they said go back to where it was TNR. What should I do??? 
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,474
Purraise
689
Location
Northwest Indiana
Yeah, usually shelter's don't even have a vet to humanely euthanize a cat on their premises and they won't take a cat from someone just to do that. But, I am surprised that your local vet or the vet further away are not willing to assist. I don't get that. I guess I would call the place where you TNRd this kitty and press the issue that if/when he gets sick enough - you need somewhere to take him to end his suffering. I cannot believe that they would NOT offer you some advice or help. That is what they are there for - to assist people like you in the community with stray/feral cats. Most of these TNR orgs. have great compassion for people and the cats they care for. Let's hope that is true of your TNR place :cross: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: I mean, come on, you need a place to take this boy when the time is near..... :sigh: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 

catsallaround

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 21, 2009
Messages
3,104
Purraise
66
Being that he was so old at time of neuter its possible he has felv or fiv.  Was he tested?

To me a fast death is better then long suffering.

Since mom has alz. can you set a trap on side or front of house or anywhere she can not see?  kitty must be off hunting or some excuse

Have you called reg vets for a euth due to cat fading away and lack of money to treat?  What state are you in?
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #17

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
I'm in CT. What amazes me the shelter that took the cat never did blood tests on a 10 yr old stray/feral. They just cut his nuts off cleaned up his abscess and threw shots at him. Back in march and now he is going down. There are vets around but they are costly and want to do major blood tests. I'm fine with some blood tests just to see. But you get the vets who want to do all sorts of things then they say well can you care for the cat if he has thyroid/diabetes?? So then what does that mean leave the cat out to suffer and die. This world is so cruel. It s like if you are or were a feral/ stray no one cares its like black and white! This cat loves me to pet him but my mom is a major problem. I have tried everywhere just to get a third party in perhaps to distract my mom so I can get the cat but no help. BUT it also comes down to Am I ready. I had to put down my two cats within 6 months of each other so I guess the GUT says when. This cat still eats but is terribly thin but loves my affection when I am able. So thats the dilemma. If I bring him in to a vet They will say put him down. I just do not know what to do but I guess follow my gut and the hell with my mothers reaction. I'm trying to help her with her alzheimers and help the cat. My mom its wacked at this point and thinks nothing is wrong with the cat. I hate to say it but my heart breaks for the cat. I have always loved animals more than people. I love my Mom but I cannot handle her anymore and with no help I'm going nuts!!! I will do something come Monday if need be with the cat but in a way I'm not sure. I do see throbbing in his neck area as he sits and looks in the screen and I try to talk to him and my mom yells at me. So that the hardship I'm dealing with.
 

catsallaround

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 21, 2009
Messages
3,104
Purraise
66
I am under impression you took him to a clinic whos main goal is no more homeless cats and not a regular full price vet?

Some clinics have more standards then others but as a whole if cat is healthy looking enough they will go ahead and alter it.  They are there to provide a spay/neuter service and light vet service of abcess(so common in males) and possibly flea/tick treatments paid by the dose applied at time cats knocked out.

Is it possible they are implying don't spend money if you can't take care of issue and are trying to help you out?  Vets make money but at same time if they think it's more serious and you don't have it they may tell you opinion on if testing is worht it.

You should be able to get some blood work for about 130 plus the office call.  He seems more of a owned outside cat then a stray and if you can touch him with out a trap then don't tell the vet he is feral as some won't touch a feral and in their minds a pill a day is not a treatment option as no way you can do anything for a feral.  He is the stray you took in for neutering or your outside cat will get you farther.

I understand alz.  I was home health aide and this one guy was convinced the dog was always eating something it was not to have if dog left room for a moment and would yell at the dog.  Can you feed the cat somewhere she can not see the cat?

I would look on craigslist and see if any vet techs or someone experienced with rescue can come with a trap where your mom cant see and pay them a bit for the help. 

Being thin could be getting older or kidney failing, diabetes, thyroid,... some are just a pill a day others are more involved with fluids and diet(outside cat will go eat something else/hunt so no control over diet as close you can with a inside cat)

On another note is your mom living alone? 
 
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #19

batrice

TCS Member
Thread starter
Adult Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
278
Purraise
2
Thanks for the stray cat idea? Yes my mom lives alone and I'm trying to change that. My cat had kidney disease I did some fluids but that was futile I did put him down. Then his sister got fluid in the belly and had to put her down within six months. So its hard no matter what happens. This cat does not hunt or eat anything else he stays on or around the deck and depends on her and me. I believe a blood test is worth it just to see whats going on then make a decision. If vets and everyone think well are you willing to take care of him or not is like saying we are not going to look at him etc etc and just let the cat die on his own. Thats unethical. I'm watching my mom go down and watching the cat as well is horrible.

I will use stray though
 

catsallaround

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 21, 2009
Messages
3,104
Purraise
66
Sorry you lost 2 like that.  It has happened to me few times(have alot of cats).

Is there any adult day care/respite options? Maybe she "works there" and helps the others?  Can you do a in home thing?  alot is based on money/age/insurance. Think you are the alz forum-I browse but not member.  They have a number on every page call and see where you can go for help with your Mom. 

Have you tried making appointment for an exam and not giving much info out? And if its a not tell them I have the cash for exam.  I know some vets have issues with strays=possible free care.
 
Top