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Crazy Overprotective Mom or Responsible Parent? - Page 2

post #31 of 41
4/21/11 at 9:18pm
I think if it were the middle of summer and no space heater required I might have worried less. But I don't like the idea of them sleeping in a building without one too. And like everyone else says; all mothers of 13 year olds are wacko! Heck I have a 1 year old and I'm already wacko! Shes in for it when she's a teen!

So I guess I do think what you did is ok. Your daughter still got to go. I don't think I would have even considered asking the parents to buy or put one in there themselves; just because I hate stepping on people's toes. But then again that's your "baby" sleeping in there! And looking at things from a parent's shoes can be so different than the way you thought prior to becoming one!
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post #32 of 41
4/21/11 at 9:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
There are times when it makes sense to talk about statistical probabilities, and times when it just doesn't. These people were putting children alone overnight in an outbuilding with a space heater. Sure, it's statistically unlikely that a fire would occur, but the stakes are much too high not to take the simple precaution of a smoke detector!

It should not have been Kat's job to provide the smoke detector, but since the parents didn't, thank goodness she was smart enough and brave enough to step up. If the parents took it as an insult, if the girls talked about it, if her daughter was embarrassed -- so what? It's a small price to pay for doing the right thing.
and I'm 21 and I think that makes you awesome, Kat.
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post #33 of 41
4/24/11 at 5:33pm
I don't have children but even at 19 i myself wouldn't be comfortable with sleeping a room/place with no smoke detector. You done a compromise , you daughter wanted to stay out so she got what she wanted and you could sleep happy knowing you had inflected in safety device which meant you would be happy Good on you for sticking to your guns and keeping not only your girl safe but other parents children safe too x
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post #34 of 41
4/25/11 at 5:36am
Statistics be darned....all it takes is one time. Just one time. Frankly, I think you were pretty cool to think about the smoke detector. I probably would have just said no and that would have been the end of it. You came up with a good solution.

(And I have a feeling that your daughter will be thinking the same thing in a few years.)
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post #35 of 41
4/25/11 at 6:04am
I think what you did was responsible but speaking as how i had a overprotective mom as well i can only give you this advice,don't smuggle her meaning it's ok to be protective but when you get over protective believe me the kids will retalieate. I say this cause i did i had such a over protective mom i couldn't cross the street by myself tell i was like 18. She's in a difficult peirod of time in her life,show her you're there for her but also that you are willing to give her space. If you do that you'll do fine.
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post #36 of 41
4/25/11 at 7:04pm
The summer before my senior year of hs a divorced family lived nearby. Middle son moved in with dad, mom had custody of 17year old party animal boy and 13 year old daughter.

Mom went out one night, left daughter home, brother went out and drank with his pals. Brother came home, started to fry bacon, took a detour to bathroom, and passed out. Mom still out on "date".

Of course, bacon fire erupted, old frame house went up in flames. Both kids killed. Daughter was found on floor by 2nd floor window, apparently overcome while trying to get out.

No smoke detector in house, they weren't "the law" then. This was 1977. I figure that mom hasn't slept a comfortable night since. I definitely wouldn't.

In my gut, swampwitch, I understand why you did what you did. This still haunts me.
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post #37 of 41
4/26/11 at 4:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by threecatowner View Post
The summer before my senior year of hs a divorced family lived nearby. Middle son moved in with dad, mom had custody of 17year old party animal boy and 13 year old daughter.

Mom went out one night, left daughter home, brother went out and drank with his pals. Brother came home, started to fry bacon, took a detour to bathroom, and passed out. Mom still out on "date".

Of course, bacon fire erupted, old frame house went up in flames. Both kids killed. Daughter was found on floor by 2nd floor window, apparently overcome while trying to get out.

No smoke detector in house, they weren't "the law" then. This was 1977. I figure that mom hasn't slept a comfortable night since. I definitely wouldn't.

In my gut, swampwitch, I understand why you did what you did. This still haunts me.
That trumps statistics any day, IMO. So sad.
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post #38 of 41
4/26/11 at 5:03am
I don't think it was overprotective. But that's as an adult. If I were a tennager I would have been like omg craaaazzzyyyy.

I'm irresponsible. We don't have a smoke detector in our house at all. We should have them but never thought twice about it. Now that the thought is reignited in my head I will be putting smoke detectors on my household shopping list along with a carbon monoxide detector. Especially since we have a wood stove.
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post #39 of 41
4/27/11 at 10:07am
I think it would have been more overprotective if you told your daughter no. Even though you may be viewed as weird by her friends, it made for a good compromise that didnt mean your daughter had to miss out.
But I do agree with what others have said, be protective but dont smother. Smothering will result in rebelling....
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post #40 of 41
4/27/11 at 10:38pm
I told my mother about this thread and asked her opinion, and she said, "Well, if they were all sleeping in one little room and the door was right there, I don't know if a smoke detector is really necessary." I was shocked!

But further questioning revealed that Mom had never heard why smoke detectors are so important: because smoke and toxic fumes can overcome you in your sleep, so that you never even wake up. So I thought I'd mention that fact here, just in case. Everybody be safe!
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post #41 of 41
4/28/11 at 12:01am
Smoke from a house fire is not odorless, and it will wake the average person at very low concentration due to the smell and lung irritation. I know not just from literature, but from a room mate merely burning toast slightly from setting it to six and walking away. I believe the sensitivity to smoke and alarm at seeing fire is ingrained as a natural evolutionary danger. During deep sleep what your body is less sensitive to is noise, and some children do sleep through fire alarms (as do some college students as we learned at the dorm, although alcohol was more often than not to blame). The fire detectors are useful because they provide advanced warning when the fire has just recently started, but with multiple occupants sharing a room and it just being a single night, the risk is extremely low there would happen to be a fire that one particular night that no one would notice. Definitely a good idea to have a fire-detector, but failing to have one for an evening is hardly a game of russian roulette, that's all. Just important to keep things in perspective, which I'm sure is easier said than done when its your own kid.

If I ever (accidentally) have one of my own, perhaps I'll better understand.
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