Did you have chores as a kid? - Page 2

I always tell Greyson that he is lucky b/c I had a bunch of chores but he really doesn't. He has to empty the dishwasher ever afternoon (but not load it like I had to do), feed the cats once in the morning (but not the rest of the time nor do the litterboxes like I had to do) and fold and put his clothes away (not the whole family's like I had to do). He has to help his father shovel the driveway IF he asks him to, otherwise he's off scott free. That is the extent of his "chores list".

When I was younger I had to load and empty the dishwasher, I had to start the washing machine, switch the laundry to the dryer, then fold all of the laundry and distribute it out to the correct family members, the litter box and all it entailed was up to me, feed the cat, help change the sheets on all the beds, etc, etc, etc.

I completely agree with this. I don't have a huge chore list for my son b/c I don't want to be "that" parent. He is expected to help around the house when he is needed, but I don't expect him to do everything for me just b/c I'm lazy or don't want to do it myself.

I wouldn't consider him lazy, nor does he spend all of his time in front of a computer. When we move things may be different b/c there will be more to do (feed the chickens, collect eggs, etc) but if "chores" interfere with school/schoolwork, then he can help when he's able but it won't be completely expected of him. I want my child to have a childhood, not a mini adulthood. He has plenty of time when he's grown up and has his own family to do things like shovel the driveway and mow the lawn. I want him to have time NOW to play and have fun, and do homework, JUST BE A LITTLE BOY. It is our job as adults to do the things to keep our house running if we should want a household. We didn't have children just to do that stuff for us. Maybe when he's an older teenager and if he has time (outside of school and homework) to help more then more will be asked of him, but if not then that is fine.

Yes I had chores. Four kids in our family. My brother was the oldest, he mowed the lawn, shoveled the driveway. Us girls set the table, cleared after supper did the dishes, swept the floors. On saturday everyone cleaned their rooms. We all raked leaves, helped weed the garden. We got a small allowance. My kids have chores. I think it is an important part of being a family

I understand what you're saying, and agree that you shouldn't make him do everything. But let me compare my DH and his brother for you.

DH: Is the elder brother of the two. He had more responsibilities, chores, and in general his parents did and still do expect far more from him. He's occasionally needed a bit of help from his parents, especially his dad (his dad can fix a lot of things, very handy person - skills that my DH is slowly learning). Now, don't misunderstand, they spoil him quite a bit and I know he's their favorite. DH has been working since he was around 13. He had some bad habits that the cats and I have corrected (not picking up after himself).

Then there's his brother: The brother is younger by 3 years. He was spoiled as a child and given few chores and even less responsibilities. No punishment whatsoever. As a result he didn't grow up to be a very responsible person. His parents expect less out of him because he's never really proven himself otherwise. (They do truly love him, though, and he's really not a bad guy)
He's had a DUI, can't manage to balance a checking account and keep up with funds - constantly overdraws, and can't be counted on to pay bills on time or even get back to his parents on matters which would hurt them financially. (his dad cosigned for his car)
This is why my BIL lives with us. He can't afford rent anywhere else and isn't very responsible. We make sure he eats here. And I swear I'm doing my best to teach him better habits such as cleaning up after himself and how to cook. He has a couple chores. His parents never made him do this.

A bit opposite, and yes personality plays a big part, too. But as others have probably noticed this in individuals around them.

I agree, I hate it when parents make their kids do work because they are too lazy themselves. I think chores are good for kids though, because one day they will be the ones running a house and they need to be prepared.
Since I never had chores, I'm not in the habit of cleaning up after myself still...
I hate to be disorganized and I hate filth, so I clean up every three days or so, but it's like I don't have the routine where I clean up and put things back where they belong right away, I only clean up when the mess starts to bother me...I kinda wish it came as a habit to me, which is how it is for people who have had chores and have been made to clean up after themselves as children.

I also grew up in Chicago. Where do I start with chores growing up?

The earliest chore that I recall was drying the dishes when I was about 3 or 4. The sisters would wash then hand them off to me to dry.

By age 5 or 6, mom taught me how to sew on the sewing machine (I still have that machine) so that I could make my own clothes.

Around that age I was given the chore to weed the gardens. Dad would pay 2 cents a bushel basket for weeding.

By age 8 mom had me doing the laundry and ironing for the entire family. My mom was the type of person who believed in ironing diapers. Everything was ironed. The other chore I had (since mom started working) was to run home from school at lunch and make lunch for her and my siblings. Before school, I would help my mom make lunches for her students, who were very poor inner city children and many of them had nothing to eat during the day. So mom fed them (with my help).

When we moved to the suburbs and had a much larger home, mom gave me the lower level of the house to clean. It had a tile floor and mom didn't believe in mops. I had to sweep and wash that floor on my hands and knees every week. It was a HUGE house and took half a day to get it done. There was also a bathroom down there which I had to clean. The added chore was cooking dinner for the family, since mom had a long drive home and didn't get home early enough to cook. At least I usually got off from doing dishes.

I'm sure there were other things that came up - mowing if the boys were out of town, shoveling snow on bad snow days, taking out the garbage. If it needed doing and the person who normally did it wasn't around, I was asked to fill in.

Through all of this I did get an allowance, but I was expected to put at least half of that allowance into the bank each week. It was important for me to learn how to save money.

Keeping my room clean was done without question. That was not considered a chore, but a requirement of having a bedroom to sleep in.

I never questioned the need to do any of these things. By today's standards, what I did would probably look like child abuse. What it taught me was to be a giving person, and for that, I'm grateful.

I never had chores, and it is actually a regret of mine. My parents were much too lenient with me, and I feel I may have a better work ethic today if they had simply told me to wash the dishes or take out the trash. My kids will definitely have chores, and they will be sent to their rooms/grounded when they misbehave (I was sent to my room ONCE in 18 years, and I was never grounded. I wasn't the model child either... unless you ask my friends' parents )

For all the chores that I did, I never considered my parents lazy. Dad worked 7 days a week, and mom put herself through college then started working after I was born (the youngest of 5 kids). They didn't have time to do all the things needed for a family of 7 members. The worst thing that it made me was to be overly responsible. Perhaps that's why I can manage all of my critters as an adult.

My mom went back to working full time when I was 12, so from that age on I had to cook dinner every week night, clean the house (except the windows), do laundry and keep an eye on my younger sister after school. I didn't have to do the grocery shopping till I got my driver's license at 16.

I started babysitting at 12, and had my first real paying job as a short-order cook at 14.

Straight A's were expected.

I was the only kid of a single mom... Chores : had a list of the Have to dos... Another of the need to be done and the list of darling please do...

Thankfully Grandma had me learn basics of cleaning: vacumming and cleaning bathrooms before age 3 ( back then it was a hoot to feel like I was helping),I set the table at the nursing home she worked at from about 18 months on( yes I had a stool as I was not tall enough plus I did not do it alone till about 3/4 )

Yard work was hired out as Mom would not let me as a kid and turned out my asthma and grass do not go together

Most of my friend s did little in the way of chores but they also had more adults who could do things...

Volunteer jobs started at 14 after about two yrs of being Grandmas caregiver... The area that I lived you had to be 18 for 95% of jobs even in fast food ... I moved mid way thru high school and started working 20 ish hours a week plus activities

Pre teen allowance was 70 cents a week ,then about 13 became 3.50 a week( this was the early 90s and my friends averaged about 20 a week)...

I grew up on a farm so there were always plenty of chores to do. Sheep were my 4-H project so if I wanted a few of my own sheep I had to do the chores. I helped clean, cooked (when my mom was working evenings), mowed the lawn (I was allergic to the grass in our yard and had to wear a dust mask), and painted the house. I baled hay, drove a tractor, trimmed hooves.

Kids don't seem to have to do any work at all. I never see them outside playing either. Some of these kids are now my coworkers. They are terrible employees too.

I just don't like the assumption that just b/c I don't saddle my child with a bunch of chores means that he will grow up to be a lazy, good for nothing adult. We are very strict parents, and expect a lot from our son...but chores just happens to not be one of them. You don't have to do a million chores in order to grow up and be a well participating and responsible member of society. I did a million chores growing up and it probably had the opposite affect on me.

I'm shocked at the number of people who didn't have to do chores. Of course we had chores. We did get an allowance though. 50 cents a week! We were happy to have it too. It did eventually get raised to a dollar a week and there is no doubt in my mind that it was hard on my Mom to spare it. She believed in responsibility, including managing money, even the small amount she could afford to give us.

What I hated doing the most was laundry. We lived on the third floor and had a washer and a clothesline - that went out the third floor window. I learned quickly to hang out my jeans last to avoid having to fold all the laundry if I wanted my jeans in a hurry!

I'm hoping/planning to take the "all things in moderation" approach to raising my own kids. So that goes for everything from food to chores to getting a paying job. I want her to enjoy her childhood. I have friends (sisters) who were helping pay the bills at age 14. I think that is unfair. How much does a 14 year old make from babysitting ya know? And I can't say I envy their relationship with their mother today. To be fair; all the kids in the family turned out to be good, honest, hard working adults that I am proud to know.....I just don't agree with saddling my kids with so much responsibility that they miss out on some things. I want my kid to enjoy being a kid/teen while she can.

Even with all the chores that I did as a child, I remember those fun times when the entire family would do things together. Winter brought ice skating and sledding. Summer meant trips across the country camping. Fall was bomb fires (after raking the leaves) with roasted marshmallows. Spring was roller skating and bike riding. Sunday afternoons were day trips to the zoo, forest preserves, beach, sand dunes, etc.

I think our family found the time to do fun things together because every chipped in with chores. We had a lot of fun growing up.

Tons of chores!

Keep my room clean
Clean the bathroom on the main floor
Dishes
Vacuum the living room
Mow the lawn
Shovel the snow
Wash the cars

I had an older brother but he was always too busy with his social life to help out around the house, so all of his chores fell onto me to do.

From 16 to 18 after my parents died and I lived with my brother and his wife and kids. Things were added to that list.

Baby sitting
Grocery Shopping
Cooking
All of the cleaning
Laundry for 3 adults and 3 kids
Shuttling kids around by bus from school/home, grocery shopping/errands etc.

My friends worked all the time. Before we were in college we pretty much only saw each other at school. They worked jobs 5 days a week. There were no sleepovers because they had to work. No going to the movies because if they didn't have to work they were doing chores at home or studying. (My friend struggled with some subjects and was always exhausted.) Aren't those the 'normal' things you do with your friends as a teenager? Moderation would have helped them all be happier. My friend still talks like she missed out on some stuff. None of them regret helping...helping eachother, as in siblings helping siblings. But they regret loosing their childhood so fast.

Our senior year another friend and my mother bought my one friend a prom dress. Her parents were going to make her wear the same one she'd worn the year before. All that working she was doing went to pay for the car they bought her, her clothing and the family bills. The parents both had decent jobs. I still don't get where it all went (and no, there was not any drug/alcohol use). The youngest sister still loves at home and pretty much seems under thier control at 22, almost 23. They even GROUNDED her at age 20!! The house is in shambles since all but the youngest have left. My friend moved away years ago and has no plans on coming back. It's hard to explain their family dynamics and all that goes into it. After nearly 13 years of friendship all I can do sometimes is shake my head. I know some good came out of it; but I don't think they had to go THAT far with it. And I'm not sure I'd call the parents lazy at the time. I know their mother was taking classes and working full time. But I do think they put too much adult responsiblity on thier kids. (Like the helping pay bills at age 14. 18 fine; 14 no.) But kids need to be kids while they can. I know all kids mess up some and make bad choices; but I know for a fact some of their choices were made to escape home.

I find this discussion very interesting. It seems as society advances, the age to keep kids as kids increases. I think back on history when young children had as much responsibilities as their parents to keep the family going. I think back at my mom working at age 9 to help feed her family. I had my first job around 8 years old. I paid rent as a teenager.

Then fast forward to today, where my siblings with kids are supporting their children well into their 20's, so that their kids can remain kids. I don't know a single person when I was growing up that had these expectations. I'm curious how the values in society have changed so much in such a short time to push out the age that kids can remain kids. I know it's not universal, but somewhat common to see this attitude.

Some kids don't have any choice. I was self supporting since I was 14 years old (closer to 13 than 14).

My parents separated when I was 9. I lived with my mother who was physically abusive and struck first and asked questions later. Plus she was very sick and by the time I was 14 she spent weeks and months in the hospital which left me living alone.

We were on welfare because my mom was too sick to work. Not sure how it is now, but back then when my mom was in the hospital, her share of the welfare was cut off, which left 1/2 the amount of money to pay the rent and buy food. So I had to babysit and my mom would crochet sweaters that I would sell to make up the short fall for the rent, or I would have been out on the street.

When she was home, I was her homecare worker because back then there was no such thing as homecare. I was it. I cooked, cleaned, shopped, bathed her, did her medical treatments which involved suctioning out her lungs, until the next time she was admitted to hospital.

She died 2 weeks before I turned 16 at which point I went to live with my brother. If you've read Cinderella, I've lived that story. I was built in maid and babysitter and I paid room and board. $150.00 per month. That was a lot of money to pay when I was going to school and working part time earning $1.85 per hour. Not only did I have to pay room and board, but I had to buy my own clothing, school supplies, grooming supplies, bus fare, dental, glasses, prescriptions and put gas in the van every time I wanted to use it. And every time I wanted to use it it was on empty.

So I worked more, studied a whole lot less. However, the more I earned, the more they wanted. I was always being hit up for loans for utilities. The money was never paid back. So that meant I had to work even more to make up the short fall. I needed glasses for 3 years before I moved out. I couldn't afford to buy any so I borrowed my friends.

Yes, I made some bad mistakes when I turned of age to make my own decisions. I moved out with the first guy that offered me a chance to get away from a life that I absolutely hated. It was the first in a long line of mistakes. However, they were mistakes that I wouldn't change if I could. Each one made me a bit more wise, and brought me to this point in my life.

I was robbed of my childhood through circumstances that had nothing to do with me. From the age of 9 years old I can't remember a single fun childhood memory because of all the responsibilities that I had.

So when I hear some kid complaining about having to take out the garbage or vacuum the living room, or rake the leaves, I want to smack them upside the head. They wouldn't have lasted a day with all of the responsibilities that I had when I as in grade school.

I agree Laurie. Doing chores IMO is part of being one of a family where everyone contributes to the running of the household. I don't see it as a hardship and not allowing children to be children. We had our play times, but there were animals to feed, and stalls to muck out. My dad worked a full time job outside the farm so we put hay in, worked the garden and even split wood for winter. I can't imagine allowing a 12 year old these days to even have an axe but we were raised to be responsible and as anyone who ever lived on a farm there is always danger with heavy machinery so we were taught respect for such things.

My parents told us they would support us as long as we went to school. As soon as we quit school we were expected to get a job and if we lived at home we had to pay room and board. We also had to abide by the rules of my parents. If we lived under their roof, we obeyed their rules regardless of how old we were.

Some parents nowadays are still supporting 30+ year old children. That's just not right! I do believe it is a "responsibility" issue and that those children were not expected to accept responsibility.

I am 110% for kids having chores. But in my opinion if you are a minor by law; you shouldn't be expecting your kids to take on adult size bills or jobs! Like my friend with the car...they "bought" it for her (it was in their name and they helped with the down-payment); but expected her to make the payments. Fine except that she didn't ask for that car. They could have gotten her an affordable car. Not one that took over $200 a month in payments, plus the insurance and gas and everything else they expected her to pay for. They could have helped her save for a car. But her having a car meant she could take the younger ones where they needed to go. And it could be taken away at any moment deemed necessary.

My parent's got me a car...it cost them $100 and mostly it was because I had to get a ride to school every morning for chorus and I took my step-brother to work every day. I also picked him up on occasion and helped with my step-sister needing rides. It wasn't purchased for joyriding. But I did get to use it for fun stuff too. What is that saying about "all work and no play?" I can't remember the whole thing but my Gram used to say that all the time. My parent's were not rich. Altogether there were 5 of us kids and I am the oldest. Even when it was just 3 of us living there there was child support to be paid for the other 2. It might have helped them out if I had been giving them a little money back in high school. But they always said my school work was priority so I could get into college and go as far as I wanted. I was president of our school Latin club and involved in several other clubs as well. Part of teaching me responsibility was helping me honor my commitments. When I got a job my junior year of school it did start to mess up my academic work; they made me quit. My step-siblings all worked unless it interfeared with school. They made sacrifices elsewhere and it did not go unnoticed by me!

My parents increased my chores and responsibilities as I got older. Once I turned 18 I was paying for my insurance, phone, clothing, most of my college expenses and things like that. I started doing my own laundry in junior high. Before that I helped fold. I didn't have a kid so she could be my maid. Tressa will start to learn housekeeping and things young; as she grows so will her chores till she's ready to be independent and is out of school. (High school, not college.) My mother taught me by her example and by giving me responsibilities as I grew. Just as her parents have done. I never felt like they asked too much. To me that seems fair. I was also able to give back to them in other ways; like even after I got married I'd help out if one of the younger ones needed a ride home from school and they asked. I'd do special things for them; buy stuff they needed but wouldn't get. Get things for the cats/dogs so they didn't have to.

As I got older and did well with my responsibilities my freedoms grew as well; but I also lived under their rules which were simple by the time I hit college age. Like calling if I was going to be out past 11. When I hurt my back and couldn't pay my insurance bill (I was on my parent's insurance so I paid them directly) because of having to quit my job my Mom gave me more to do so I could "earn" that money another way. I proofread and typed her reports for work! LOL! (And some other office type stuff since she worked out of the house.) Turns out that helped me land my first job after college!
See your story is one of the reasons I think the way I do. It is not fair that you had to go through that. I know the hard stuff is sometimes what makes us the good people that we are; but I wouldn't purposely put my child through some of the crappy stuff I've been through just to build her character. I don't believe Tressa needs to experience the hard things I've gone through to help her become a strong, confidant and responsible adult. I would never want her to experience that kind of pain.
I think if you knew the family you might understand what I mean. It's hard to explain. I know she didn't do anything big (if she had I would have remembered it. Part of her punishment was not being able to house-sit for me that weekend so last minute I had to find someone else to take care of Mooch and Noodles!). It was probably looking at her mother wrong. I'd be very surprised if it was even for rolling her eyes or anything obvious like that. That is what the mother can be like. I've even gotten in trouble with the mother once! Long story; short of it is that she misunderstood me over the phone. But really; after all these years I know it's more about control than anything. They fall under the extreme category. Helping out is not what went on in that house back then. It would take a novel to explain all that goes into it there. (And see above about the car thing.)

But a question; if the daughter is paying a large portion of the bills and doing at least (probably more) than her share of things around there, don't you think she deserves to be treated more like an adult? It's not like have a party or bring alcohol in the home (now that she is over 21). If anyone is a "good kid," she is! Her older siblings have been trying to convince her to move out and get her own place for years. What kinds of rules do you think she should be living under? What do you consider fair for them to ask of her?

Daily chores...

Cook my grandmother breakfast after setting out and making sure she took the 30+ different medications she took daily plus giving her the morning insulin injection.

Get my brother up and make sure he had food and got dressed for school because my older sister was already at school.

Do dishes and bring the paper in before heading off for the 1 mile walk to school.

After school it was a 1 mile walk back to make sure meds were taken and then it was time to start cooking dinner. While dinner was cooking there was usually some odd thing that needed done like walking down to the store to pick up milk, butter, cigarettes for my grandmother, etc.

Get at least 1 load of laundry in the washer before sitting down to eat after setting the table and injecting more insulin into granny. Our meals ALWAYS were home made with no microwaving or instant potatos. I was cooking roast and cleaning whole chickens by 10 years old.

After dinner was dishes, taking out the trash, more laundry, pick up the living room, bedrooms, and dump out and scrub ash trays. After that was done it was time to check on grandma to make sure she got her pills and then it was time for a bath (1 tub of water and my older sister, my younger brother, and I would all share the same water). The person 3rd in line was screwed.

The weekly stuff was more like this...

Clean house from top to bottom.
Hand scrub floors (mops do not get the corners clean according to my grandmother).
Dust everything.
Vacuum.
Take trash to the curb.
Do all the laundry.
scrub the bathroom.
Shovel snow.
Mow the yard.
Go grocery shopping at least 4 times per week which involves a 2 mile round trip that we had to walk.
One trip to the drug store which was 5 miles round trip.


We would get grounded for missing an ash tray, get woken up at 3AM and told to wash and dry ever dish in the kitchen by hand (no dishwasher) and still go to school. I was punched in the mouth once for forgetting to cover the butter after dinner. I had toys thrown away for being out of place in my room.


It is because of the jacked childhood I had that I swore my children would learn what hard work was but I was not going to have a slave. Greyson gets more responsibility added every year but I do not want him to be an OCD clean freak like me and not be able to relax because of a constant fear of having a mess that will get you hit. He is a child and has child like chores. As he matures into a young man his chores will mirror that change and through this adding to his work load gradually he is learning how to manage his time and the work load to be done.

Sorry; should have stated that the crappy stuff I went through had nothing to do with chores or things like that. Basically when my Mom and Step-dad married it was very quick and the process of blending the family took years!! I know it all made me stronger and brought tons of good things into my life; but I'd still not want Tressa to experience it.
I agree with you. I guess what I'm saying is that if she is acting as an adult she should be given a little more leniency from Mom. I think that is the biggest reason why her siblings have encouraged her to leave. They depend on her and it seems as if she isn't "spreading her wings" and making a life for herself. Now if this is how she wants to live; then fine.

When I was a kid, my grandmother would send me to the store with eggs to trade them for whatever she needed from the store. She didn't trust my sisters with the eggs.