(VENT) I don't get it.

I am sorry, I must get this out.

My parents went out of town because my dad's brother isn't doing well. We were asked to check on my parents' 2 small dogs, one big dog, and cats.

My hubby was working, I knew he was getting off late, I asked my brother and his fiance to check on them. My bro had a gig with a bunch of other bands to raise money for Haiti, so he was busy. So I talked to his fiance, and I made it very clear that Tonka (huge malamute dog) needed fed, his water checked, and the little dogs let out so they don't mess on the floor. I even txted her all the instructions so she wouldn't forget, after talking to her about it. She wasn't even far from their house when I asked.

I just thought about it suddenly, and asked if she had... NOPE!!! Poor cold Tonka outside in cold weather (he's a cold weather dog, and has a house), and he wasn't fed, nor his water checked. Little dogs for sure messed on the floor, for not being let out.

I am so frusterated. How can anyone who 'loves' animals so much NOT check on them. My heart is broken because I keep imagining Tonka out there with no food, hungry, barking and howling and nobody going to take care of him He should have been fed hours ago when I asked her if she could. IF she couldn't she should have just said so. So my hubby crawled out of bed, and rushed out there (they live 30 minutes away from our house, and she was only about 10 minutes away from there when I asked). So my hubby who opens in the morning has to drive all the way out there and back. At least this way I know tonka will be cared for properly.

I was getting my jacket on when my hubby took off without me. He wouldn't let me drive because I am not on the insurance. I feel horrible. My parents entrusted me to care for their babies, and I let them down I should have just gotten a ride out there while my hubby was at work and done it myself. I will just remember in the future NOT to ask favors anymore, and just find a way to take care of it myself. I put everyone out of their way by depending on someone else. I hope I learned my lesson.

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel a little better, but... Poor Tonka. Poor Hubby... and he opens in the morning.

Thanks.
Be Safe.

None of this is your fault. You asked her to do it and she said she would. She is unreliable and not be trusted in the future, but you didnt know that at first or your wouldnt have asked her.
Your DH is a nice guy to get out of bed to look after the animals. They are all ok now

I agree 100% that none of it is your fault. I don't understand why your brother's fiance couldn't just let you know that she couldn't do it, how horrible. I just don't get some people.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You thought she could be trusted because she hadn't given you reason to think otherwise. She let you and the animals down. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but for whatever reason, she dropped the ball.

Ugh. Some people just don't "get" it. Those poor animals!

Did she at least give you a reason why she could not go over there and why she suddnly loss function of both hands to call you and tell you she couldn't see to the animals?
I agree with everyone else, this was not your fault, don't beat yourself up over it, you trusted her and she let you down, lesson learned. (unless she has a really, really good reason)

Aw Sweetie, don't be so hard on yourself. This wasn't your fault. I know how pictures of Tonka must have been running thru your head, but he's ok. Your hubby deserves a big hug for stepping up the way he did, and you deserve a big hug for caring so much.
I don't know that I would entrust the care of the critters to your brother's fiance again. Unless her thumbs were broken, I don't see why should couldn't have sent you a text that something had come up and she couldn't check on the pets.
Please don't beat yourself up.

How hard would it have been for her to pick up a phone - or reply to your text?

Like the others have said, it's not your fault. And you have every right to be upset!!!!!

Maybe that's the reason your parents asked YOU to take care of them and not your brother. Seems that no one kept their end of the bargain. Glad the pets are tended now.

Originally Posted by CatMom2Wires

Maybe that's the reason your parents asked YOU to take care of them and not your brother. Seems that no one kept their end of the bargain. Glad the pets are tended now.

Click to expand...

Whoa now, not everyone dropped the ball. From the OP it looks like MyRage's hubby had to work late and her not being in a situation to drive there called for back up who assured her that the animals would be taken care of. She was let down by her back up who didn't even call or text back. Not her fault. Not at all.

Originally Posted by CatMom2Wires

Maybe that's the reason your parents asked YOU to take care of them and not your brother. Seems that no one kept their end of the bargain. Glad the pets are tended now.

Click to expand...

That's where it gets me... I was the one asked, and I let them down. I let them all down. Especially Tonka. She never gave me a reason, just a simple NO when I asked if she had checked the animals. I think that's partly what had me so frusterated... She didn't even SEEM upset that (IF she had frogotten) she didn't make it.

My hubby is a wonderful man and I appologized a million times over. I was going to go out walking today to look for a job (maybe I can get a car then) but it snowed last night, and he wants me to have a warm pair of boots first. He delivers pizza for dominos, so his hours are usually something like 9:30 am (sometimes a break if it isn't busy) then off about 8pm or 8:30 pm. The other shift (he usually doesn't work) is 11(30) am to 7(30)pm, depending on how busy it is. Times in are exact, times out are approximate and may change depending on business. So... This morning he had to get up earlier (after getting back about 2am) to go out there to check the animals. I told him I wasn't going to ask her again. She always wants to help, but...

On the good side, Tonka hadn't eaten all his breakfast, so he wasn't starving. The little dogs did mess, but they (and all the cats ... 6 of them) were fed, watered and fine. Tonka was cold though (for a cold weather dog he's a sissy... he got hit by a car as a pup, and has pins in his hip, and cold really bothers his hip... Poor Tinkle Puff baby... ) But I am glad it was just ONE thing and not multiple things, I felt better. I still feel like a heel for 'designating' MY responsibility. What's a couple hours late on a feeding vs 7 hours... (even though he still had food, but I didn't know that until hubby got home)

As for my bro, I hold no blame on him, he told me he couldnt do it, and to talk to his fiance. He was busy last night setting up for a gig and playing. She had time when I talked to her, she wasn't busy. She was only waiting for him to be done setting up. She was actually less than 10 minutes away. Even if they had done it after the gig. She sent me txt telling me how much they raised (5000) for Haiti. She told me she would do it.

Yeah, I was so upset that I had a dream about my mom (who passed on 9.12.01 from liver cancer when my bro was 18 and still a senior) and in my dream I was so angry with her for something. I took her stuff and broke all her makeup on the floor to get back at her (wich is nothing like what I would do IRL... I like to talk things out, and get out the negative emotions, then work towards a positive outcome). The thought of me taking my frusterations out on my mom, who I love with every little piece of me and all my energy just makes me cry. Even though it was a dream, why did I take it out on her, and break all her make up?

This really upset me pretty bad, and I don't understand why. I sent her a txt (his fiance) telling her I won't be depending on her for any favors in the future, and to remember starving, cold Tonka being neglected outside on a leash, all by himself. (I'm evil, I wanted her to feel really bad for Tonka. that wasn't right of me. I owe her an appology.) My brother did offer to go take care of it, and I know he wold have, but Hubby had already left, and I didn't see any reason for the both of them to run all the way out there. I am a little frusterated with him as well, even though it's all on her. He told me he couldn't do it. He did offer to run out there at 1am when I thought about it again.

Thank you guys, I didn't really expect any replies, I just needed to get some of that negativity out of me, and this did help. I didn't want to blog it on myspace, or rant on facebook, especially since she is on my friends' list on both. This way, she keeps some anonyminty, and I could vent without offending her or making a larger problem. For TCS I am so thankful. For you guys, I am very thankful as well. I know everyone needs a balance. I guess I needed some anger to balance myself out. I wish I could purge anger all together, and never feel negative feelings. That isn't reality though. It's all in how I respond to the anger that makes the difference. Im glad I didn't turn it into a big fight between us all. (bro, his fiance, and myself)

Thank you again, sorry so long, I just can't seem to post anything shorter then a novella, I appologize for that as well.

Thank you, you all rule!

Be Safe.

Now DH will run out there after work to check the animals. I just wish I had my own car, and could just go do it myself.