Taming a feral 2 year old kitty boy

I have to be careful right now about Batman wanting to go in Patches room, so I've been having to have my husband hold Batman (or play with him somewhere else). If my husband is not around, I will throw a cat toy somewhere far away so Batman chases it - but if he's outside the door when I'm trying to leave her room, it still is tricky. When I go in her room, I kind of block the open door with my foot when I walk in and I think Patches is too scared of me to want to dart out and get that close to me.

Do you knock on the door before you go in? Usually that alerts Patches to run to her box but there's been a few times she's in the middle of the room and she'll freeze up and stay there as I walk in and shut door. If she's too close to the door after I open it, I'll shut it and wait a few minutes and usually by then she's moved farther away.

Not sure if this helps, but wanted to share how I'm dealing with a similar situation right now.

I think you should keep the tshirt with your smell and add the other one with other kitties' smells but not switch them out.

We do knock at the door in a special way. He must be getting braver though and more comfortable which is a wonderful thing but it also concerns me. The cardboard shield seems to work; it does not frighten him and it blocks him from coming out. He was at the door this morning again. These babies keep us on our toes all the time

Yes, I agree with the cloth, it should be an addition not a replacement...

Hi everybody, major step with Sweet Pea! He ate from my hand yesterday twice. The second time was last night. Oh my God I am soooo happy. I just put my hand next to the bowl with some of his wet food and he came and ate and licked my hand too

He has been more playful and curious for the past several days, and he is always at the door trying to see what is going on in the hallway when we go in. An hour ago we put the gates up after we cleaned up his room. He was thrilled to see Tubi and Chloe, and they were too. Lots of nose touching, pawsies touching and chirping going on. Sammy our oldest boy who has been very sweet and welcoming to all our kitties did not go to investigate yet (he usually keeps to himself) . Leo, the leader looked afraid and he only went up the steps half way and from there he hissed and yowled then he walked away; he was staring at Sweet Pea and I think Sweet Pea was staring back. We closed the door so that everybody can have a chance to take everyhting in...Here are some pics of Chloe (long hair grey), Tubby (brown tabby) and Sweet Pea.

Sounds like you're making progress. I think it's a good sign that 2 or your kitties "met" Sweet Pea and didn't react. At least they weren't trying to get at each other through the gate! Keep up the good work!!

Awwwww........ Sweat Pea is a "tails up" kitty!!!!!!!! That's great - love the pics!

That is wonderful!!!!!! The eating from your hand is fantastic - and him meeting the rest of the fur crew!! Sounds like things are going great!

Can't wait for the next update!!

Thank you all !

Today our son did not want to eat from my hand so I just put the food back in his bowl and let him eat at his leisure. He also hissed at me when I was putting the food back in the bowl, must not have liked me doing that. He did chirp at me a few times when I said in a high pitch baby like voice "I love you, love you, love you" . It melted my heart!

I am hoping we can take him soon to our vet for a very thorough exam, blood work, nail trim etc. Yesterday and today I found bits of scabs next to the door and on his tree. It's impossible to tell just by looking at his coat where they came from and I hope they are not at the vaccine sites.

Tomorrow we celebrate seven weeks since Sweet Pea came home!

Laurie I forgot to comment on the "tails up" kitty. He usually does not hold his tail up high but the moment we opened the door and he saw Tubi, his tail went up, he lowered his head and started to chirp up a storm. He looked soooooo affectionate and HAPPY to see Tubi (and later on Chloe). We recorded a short video which is very endearing

This is what I have been noticing about Sweet Pea. When he plays he grabs his toys with his nails and he uses his nails all the time when he climbs on the kitty tree; the same when he drags himself on the carpet.

Last night we put the gates up and Tubi extended his paw under it, Sweet Pea touched it but his nails were showing up and Tubi got scared from this touch and did not go close to the gate anymore.

This morning Seet Pea came close to my hand (I was sitting on the floor reading to him) and he pawed at my hand three times but again nails were out and while he did not draw blood he did scratch the very surface of my skin. I said "ouch" a couple of times and he backed off.

Why is he doing this? Is this a sign of aggression? Is this the way he is used to touch? His nails are tremendously long but I think he extends them too. He is also playing very rough with his toys, bites and pulls them apart (I had to throw a couple away since he was eating them).

Any ideas what to do? I am at a loss and worried...
Marina

Can you get him to the vet soon for his exam and then get a nail trim?

He will have to use his claws to climb the cat tree and grab onto toys good. I don't think that in itself is an issue.

When I was fostering the little kittens, it was funny watching them learn how to use their claws properly - as in, how to retract so a toy isn't stuck on them, etc. I think they learn their manners from their siblings - such as, 'hey! claws hurt!' or 'ouch! don't bite me!' Batman learned from his siblings that claws hurt. He will pat us with his paws - no claws out. But every now and then, sure, we will get accidentally swiped if we are playing with a toy and just have bad timing when he's going in for it. But since we keep him trimmed, it's no biggie.

If Sweet Pea hasn't learned claws manners from other feral kitties, then he may have to learn them from your resident kitties - when that time comes. But he will need his claws trimmed for sure before he can interact with them. Maybe I'm wrong - I am not a cat expert! - but I think it's just something they learn from play with each other.

He doesn't sound like an aggressive cat from what I've read and remembered. He's not growling, spitting, going nutso. He just really needs a nail trim and maybe some etiquette lessons.

Hopefully others will give you expert advice, but I wanted to share my thoughts. I would try not to worry!

I agree with Killerapple - it seems like he just doesn't have "claws manners." When our kitties put their paws on our arms or hands its because they want attention of some kind - being petted or played with or for treats or something. I think he just doesn't know to do this with his claws retracted.

I agree - get his claws clipped at the vet.

Yes, a vet visit is in order and we plan for next week. Sweet Pea is not using the carrier to sleep in anymore so we have to dedicate a few days to feeding him close to the carrier and make going into the carrier as smooth as possible. I will call today the vet who neutered him etc and and ask them to fax his file over to our vet. Thank you so much for the replies

Last night we put the gates up again. Tubi was very happy to see Sweet Pea, they again touched a lot and kissed. Chloe came by for kissies too. Leo sat on the steps starring, he hissed a bit and cried a bit also; he looked scared and eventually went downstairs.

Sammy's reaction surprised us though. He is our senior kitty, was found by the HS wandering in a local park in Nov 2003; he was in a very bad shape and very unfriendly. They socialized him by keeping him in their office. By the time we adopted him he spent two years at the shelter. He has always been very friendly and loving towards all the other kitties (one adult and three kittens) who came after him in the house. Last night, he went to the gate, kissed nosies with Sweet Pea and then he hissed and tried to swat at him through the gate (he did this twice). Then he turned around and he smacked Tubi and Chloe who were close by (he never does this, he is usually smacked by Tubi and Leo). After this he just laid down in the hallway in front of the gate, with his back towards the gate. Sweet Pea looked very sad (he was quiet and did not hiss or tried to swat back) and he eventually walked to his kitty tree. That's when we closed the door. So it looks like we have to take it very very slowly!

Do you guys think Leo and Sammy don't like Sweet Pea or is this a status/jealousy thing?

I don't think this is a sign of a problem - it's the reason for the gate. In fact, this is quite normal. Cats are territorial, and it for exactly the "this is my side of the gate" reaction that you let them meet on "separate grounds" at first. Could be a few days or a few weeks before Sammy reacts differently.

Actually - sounds like it didn't go too bad!

Thank you so much Laurie !

I felt very encouraged to read your post. We adopted three senior cats and three kittens (who are now adults) and we started each one of them in their own room etc but the introductions went very differently. But then again they were all domesticated and socialized.

Sweet Pea has a vet appt for next Tuesday at 9:30. I noticed a few days ago when he hissed at me that he has very bad breath (and I mean very bad not just kitty breath). It can't be his teeth, they are in great shape (and very white too) since we had the first vet check them. I am thinking worms? He had the second dose of Drontal yesterday and we will take a poop sample with us when we go in.

Please pray for our sweet boy to have a swift and easy vet visit. I am hoping he will not lose his trust in us...

Marina

I have no idea - any time one of our cats has bad breath, it's a tooth issue.

for a smooth vet visit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...our kitties were always relieved to be back home.

I just made it now to my office and could not wait to give you the update.
This morning at breakfast when we entered the room Sweet Pea walked towards me and rubbed his body against my leg. I was concentrating on the tray I was holding and felt him but it happened so quickly that I did not realize it right away. Joe said to me "Did you see what he did?" and that's when it registered. Then as I was exchanging his bowls he gave me a headbump on my arm. I just about burst into tears right then and there and had to compose myself because I did not want to scare the baby boy. Needlless to say I did cry when I left the room....

I am so happy that I don't know what to do
Oh my God, thank you universe and protector of all animals and all of you for the wonderful support and advice!
Marina

That is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure you're in a daze!!! How wonderful!!!!!

...and congrats on not fainting or busting out crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So... did you slowly hold your hand out to him? (palm down). I wonder if he'll love that pet on the check that may be coming?

Yes, I am in a daze and I keep playing the scene in my mind over and over again. His headbump and body rub were not soft and gentle but pretty strong and he was chirping up a storm too

I don't know how I managed to not cry in front of him, the whole thing was so overwhelming. I thanked him sooooo much!

Laurie, I did not think about extending my hand and I don't think I would have had the courage to do it even if I thought about it. I am not sure he is ready, I wonder if I will know when to do it (maybe it will come like a whisper thought to me). Maybe he'll tell me

I will see how he does tonight and let you know!

Marina

Sweet Pea came to me last night and this morning as soon as I opened the door. It is so wonderful to see him arching his back , with tail up high and rubbing his body against my legs while chirping up a lot. And for the first time this morning we heard him purr, a short purr just for a few seconds as he started to eat his wet food.

I am feeding him his treats close to the carrier so that Tuesday morning we can guide him inside it. We partially clean his room right now using a mechanical sweeper but it needs vaccuming big time. We will vacuum on Tuesday before we put him back in the room.

Marina