Does this seem insensitive to my religion?

I totally understand all of your points and thanks for responding, I always like to hear what others have to say regarding my thoughts and see other point of views. I by no means think that the executives of the company had an executive meeting and sat around laughing while discussing how they could irritate the only Jewish girl of the city... or did they ... lol I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think anyoneâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s out to get me, I just wish they had put more thought into my holidays.

As for an event conflict, I am pro at those, especially at Christmas time. This year I have had to choose from a few different things including should I go to my Sisters babies Bris or go to our huge family holiday party to see members of the family I havenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t seen in years. Should I go to my best friends Anniversary party, or a business party that will probably get me some really awesome contacts. Things along those lines. Christmas has always been hectic for me and I always have to choose from a few things. But I have never had to choose to not go to my Jewish holiday nor have I ever seen anything on an actual Christmas holiday.

Maybe because I am from Toronto where they are more sensitive or more aware of different cultures and I have never had to deal with this. I love my city and I know itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a sweet city, I just wish I didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have to deal with this almost every single holiday.

Is this party being billed as a "Holiday Party", or a "Christmas Party". If it's billed as a holiday party, then I think it's alright, and is intended to encompass both. If it's billed as a Christmas Party, then I think you're right to feel slighted. Frankly, I'm surprised that so many in this thread think it's alright. So what if it's hard to to schedule the party? It should then be billed as a Holiday Party, with a mix of both religions represented in the events and decor.

If the company didn't care that there was a conflict, then they're intolerant. If they didn't know, then they're ignorant. Either way, it's not so good. I can't believe a government company wasn't more on the ball.


Maybe if you wore this they'd get the hint.

You should so wear the Hannukah hat to it!!!!

I'd try not to let it bother me. A party's a party, you can attend or not, but it's not worth getting upset about IMO.

Originally Posted by clixpix

Is this party being billed as a "Holiday Party", or a "Christmas Party"....

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In Canada, they call them Christmas parties, even in the schools. They don't seem as paranoid here as in the U.S. to tiptoe around the "Christmas" name; I found it kind of strange when we moved here - the kids in school sing carols about Jesus, too. When in Rome... *shrug*

I see others have already posted their thoughts about how many things are now called a "Holiday" party, to encompass all beliefs.

As for your own feelings, you have a right to your feelings whatever they are. from my own personal point of view, since you asked, I would say yes, it is over reaction, but as I said, your feelings are your feelings.

If it really more comes down to an event conflict, well as you say, we've all been there.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I'd try not to let it bother me. A party's a party, you can attend or not, but it's not worth getting upset about IMO.



In Canada, they call them Christmas parties, even in the schools. They don't seem as paranoid here as in the U.S. to tiptoe around the "Christmas" name; I found it kind of strange when we moved here - the kids in school sing carols about Jesus, too. When in Rome... *shrug*

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I agree. It was an oversight I'm sure. But not worth getting upset.

Originally Posted by clixpix

Maybe if you wore this they'd get the hint.

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HAHAHA Omg that is awesome!! Love it.

Originally Posted by clixpix

Is this party being billed as a "Holiday Party", or a "Christmas Party".

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The invite said it’s a Christmas party. I think it really depends on the company. Yes, a lot of Canadian places label the parties as Christmas party but i have found over the years most of them have change to Holiday Party for bigger type companies or companies that have multiple cultures working there.

Let me ask a slightly different question.

Do all your co-workers and managers know you're Jewish? Do you ever work on Saturday? Make sure you're home by sunset Friday? Ask for time off on Jewish holidays?

Growing up in Denver, we had a number of the Jewish holidays off, or they were at least acknowledged and we were told why some of the students might not be there on some given day.

But since there is very little actually Christian about Christmas, feeling slighted that a celebration is held on your holy day is a probably a little oversensitive.

This used to be a huge problem in many European countries. France, especially, was an impossibility, with some 100 religious holidays every year.

Originally Posted by mrblanche

Let me ask a slightly different question.

Do all your co-workers and managers know you're Jewish? Do you ever work on Saturday? Make sure you're home by sunset Friday? Ask for time off on Jewish holidays?

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It's her boyfriend's (government run) company, not hers. . I have to wonder though, why you would ask? What would it matter if they knew she was Jewish? Also, I work with a lot of people who are Jewish, and some are ultra conservative, and some are reform. Whether they work on Saturday, or are home by sunset Friday shouldn't make any difference when it comes to respecting and acknowledging another religion by that company.

I think the point is that there does not appear to have been any actual thought or acknowledgment of Channukah.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

In Canada, they call them Christmas parties, even in the schools. They don't seem as paranoid here as in the U.S. to tiptoe around the "Christmas" name; I found it kind of strange when we moved here - the kids in school sing carols about Jesus, too. When in Rome... *shrug*

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Uh not here we dont, we have a holiday party in December including a Christmas Tree, Menorah and any other symbolism employees request

When a Jewish doctor came to work in the clinic where I worked years ago, the opposite sort of thing happened to him. That year, management announced that we would not be putting up a Christmas tree in the lobby. Then they informed us that we were not to buy gifts for the doctors. The staff drew names and we all bought ornaments for each other, which were exchanged at the holiday party. I sat across from the new doctor at dinner. I could tell that his feelings were hurt...he'd figured out they'd done things differently because of him. Even though their intentions were to make him feel more comfortable, I guess he felt left out. He went on that night to tell me a story about how he'd helped his friend put up a Christmas tree that was so tall it almost wouldn't fit in his house. He also commented on the staff exchanging gifts "Oh, you bought each other gifts...." I think it would have been more thoughtful of the other doctors and management to have asked him how he felt about Christmas trees and gifts.

I don't think anyone at your beau's company meant to be insensitve or hurtful to you. They are probably just doing things as they do every year.

I would not be offended, if it had happened to me. So many holidays are on the same date, and I pretty much feel like Christmas doesn't even have to be a religious holiday anymore - I'm not Christian and I still celebrate it (although I was raised Christians so it's more of a tradition for me)..I used to always get upset when my ex boyfriend who was jewish didn't want to have a tree and celebrate it with me I celebrated Hannukah with him, so I felt like he should have celebrated Christmas with me...

You are also in NB and there aren't a lot of Jewish people there so they probably wouldn't have a clue that you might be Jewish or even take offense that they are having a Christmas party. I was raised in NB and have to say I never met a Jewish person until I moved to Toronto.

I personally celebrate Christmas and if that offends anyone then that's just too bad. I don't have a problem with anyone else celebrating their faith, i.e., Jewish folks are quite welcome as far as I'm concerned to have a Channukah party. Heck, I'd even go to one if invited.

As the others have said, as someone who was very involved in organizing the social events for a large company, reservations need to be made the year before in order to book the venue and often the date of the event has to coincide with an open date for the hall/venue. So, I'd be fairly certain that they did not have this party on that night just to snub you so I don't for a moment think you should feel slighted. Heck, you could go and pretend it's a Hannukah party.

Originally Posted by Dusty's Mom

Since it is an 8 day celebration I think it is unrealistic to expect all Christmas festivities to halt during those 8 days, don't you think?

I don't think you should be offended any more than I should be offended if I was invited to a Hanukkah party in Israel that happened to fall on Dec. 25th!

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My thoughts too.

As a person who was born into a Christian family and has traditionally celebrated all Christian Holidays IE: Christmas, I tend to not consider other religions holiday days as pertinent to me, personally, as a Christian. I know that Jewish people celebrate Channukah, but because I'm not Jewish, those days and those days are not part of my religion, I don't feel like my life has to be put on hold for those days. Just like I don't feel that anyone who is not Christian should feel like they have to put their lives on hold for "my" traditional holiday days.

I do feel you're a bit oversensitive about it. I don't mean to downplay your feelings or anything. It's simply because I don't understand why you feel so indignant or slighted. Like the others have said, it isn't as if the company singled you out and said, "Let's celebrate it on Chanuka since she's the only Jewish person." If they had held the party with the intention of making you feel terrible, then I'd understand why you're offended. But as it stands, I don't believe that to be the case.

I'm not religious--at all, but even I have my traditions. I'm probably a major minority (oxymoron!) on TCS being a Chinese-American woman. How many of you know when the Moon Festival is? Or when the Lunar New Year is? I bet not many of you do without looking it up on Wikipedia. And even less of you care when it is because it has nothing to do with you whatsoever--unless you have friends with Chinese backgrounds. Even then, it's just an interesting piece of trivia. People simply don't really care when it's a tradition or holiday not celebrated by them. Knowing that, I certainly wouldn't be offended if a holiday or event overlapped my traditions even if I have participated in the traditions all my life so far. And if I was invited to an event on one of my traditions/events, I'd happily go simply because it's an interesting change from the norm.

And from what I understand, the holiday is celebrated in an 8-day period. You can't pick up the celebrations from day 2? Or..um, does that break some kind of oath or prayer or something? I don't know a thing about Jewish traditions obviously.

This might be a bit out of line, but I don't think it's your place to feel offended. Each community is different and obviously has varying populations of faiths. I'm assuming that almost the entire company is non-Jewish. It's crazy to ask them to not hold the party on the account of a single person who isn't even part of the company (I'm assuming you're not an employee).

This is getting a little bit off of what I was upset about. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t care if people celebrate other holidays. I have dated, or have been friends with all different types of religions. I have been to every type of place of prayer, I have been to religious dinners of all kinds, I have participated in intense religious rituals, and I celebrate many holidays that arenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t Jewish with friends and in the past boyfriends.

In Toronto itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s very hard not to have friends of different religions and I have always loved participating in those rituals and learning about other religions.

I never said I had a problem with Christmas parties, or any other religious parties for that matter. I said it sucked that a Christmas party was on my Holiday that yes is 8 days BUT the religious dinners at the synagogue are on the first day.

Originally Posted by otto

I see others have already posted their thoughts about how many things are now called a "Holiday" party, to encompass all beliefs.

As for your own feelings, you have a right to your feelings whatever they are. from my own personal point of view, since you asked, I would say yes, it is over reaction, but as I said, your feelings are your feelings.

If it really more comes down to an event conflict, well as you say, we've all been there.

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^^ This.

Personally, I think you are very much overreacting.

The one quote that leads me toward this is you saying that you are "sick of your religion being put on the backburner".

As someone already stated, Chanukah is not one of the major Jewish holidays.

I practice a religion that is neither Christian nor Jewish that also has a major holiday fall around the same time. There are many religions that have a celebration around the same time as Christmas, and in your estimation, they are all being put on the backburner as well. (I don't feel that way at all and don't take offense when predominantly Christian organizations celebrate Christmas)

If the company is predominantly Christian, it only makes sense to have a "Christmas party", although I think the solution to this (as many have mentioned) is to have a general "Holiday" party.

Like someone already mentioned, don't take it to heart.......you can use this as an opportunity to celebrate your religion and perhaps anyone else at the company that is also Jewish by incorporation some of your traditions at the party.



Plus, not to sound like a heel or anything......but why get so riled up when you admitted yourself that you don't attend synagogue or participate in the Jewish community? It seems to me getting angry over something that isn't even offensive.

Originally Posted by BaloneysMom

Do I have a right to be offended by this? Or am I over reacting? My boyfriends company, which is a government company with a few thousand employees, is having their company Christmas party on Chanukah. I am not a religious person but I am traditional Jew and celebrate all holidays without prayer.

I am offended by this, I almost feel like they are disregarding Chanukah for their holiday like mine means nothing to them. I know it was not intended, but I still find it offensive. I can’t imagine if a prominently Jewish community put one of the largest company in the area Jewish holiday on Christmas Eve… I can imagine Christians would be offended, am I wrong in this?

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Originally Posted by BaloneysMom

This is getting a little bit off of what I was upset about. I don’t care if people celebrate other holidays. I have dated, or have been friends with all different types of religions. I have been to every type of place of prayer, I have been to religious dinners of all kinds, I have participated in intense religious rituals, and I celebrate many holidays that aren’t Jewish with friends and in the past boyfriends.

In Toronto it’s very hard not to have friends of different religions and I have always loved participating in those rituals and learning about other religions.

I never said I had a problem with Christmas parties, or any other religious parties for that matter. I said it sucked that a Christmas party was on my Holiday that yes is 8 days BUT the religious dinners at the synagogue are on the first day.

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I read your original post as more than saying it "sucked that a Christmas party was on" your holiday. And yes, I do believe you are over-reacting. I also think that if you feel that strongly about your own religion that you really should not attend the Christmas party and should instead go to the religious dinner at your synagogue. If your boyfriend truly cares about you he will understand and perhaps next year he will attend your services with you.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I read your original post as more than saying it "sucked that a Christmas party was on" your holiday. And yes, I do believe you are over-reacting. I also think that if you feel that strongly about your own religion that you really should not attend the Christmas party and should instead go to the religious dinner at your synagogue. If your boyfriend truly cares about you he will understand and perhaps next year he will attend your services with you.

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It DOES suck. My posts have said that this sucks because im put in a bad situation AND im tired of having my Holidays ignored. I think those are both equally crappy. We are going to the Synagogue, of course, i just donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like being put in a position where my boyfriend has to miss something he has been planning and been visibly excited about all year. You canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t tell me that wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t suck.

Originally Posted by DaniMarie

Plus, not to sound like a heel or anything......but why get so riled up when you admitted yourself that you don't attend synagogue or participate in the Jewish community? It seems to me getting angry over something that isn't even offensive.

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I never said I didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t participate in the Jewish community, I said I am a traditional Jew and celebrate everything about being Jewish without prayer.


I guess to each his own. I respect all of your opinions on the matter or i wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have complained here. Of course it hasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t swayed my thoughts on being tired of having some things be more difficult than it should.

As i said i donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think they were out to get me, but its very ignorant of them to not even think about it. Maybe its because of where i was raised. I have never hosted a large party for companies but i have been on the social committee for every job i have ever had after age 20. In Toronto i remember the committee being very careful with such things and having to work closely with HR. So its probably how i was brought up to be careful about such things. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m guessing smaller, less mix of people type towns donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t have these things as i am learning lol.

The company certainly showed poor planning ability! Most likely, whoever did the date planning didn't think to check a calendar for religious observances; IMHO, it probably wasn't meant to be offensive--it was just an oversight. (Of course, that's easy for me to say, as I'm not the religion in question!)

We had something similar happen at work many years ago, for a training course. The instructor (who was Jewish, yet) wanted to set up the next all-day session on the same date as Rosh Hoshannah that year. We had 1 Jewish staff member who was upset, as she planned to take that day off for religious reasons. The instructor got a bit nasty with her when the staff member pointed this out; when it came time to fill out the "how am I doing" survey at the end of the session, we all complained about her. The date was changed.

When I did a lot pof party-planning for work, I always tried to look into these things before suggesting a date.