Does this seem insensitive to my religion?

Do I have a right to be offended by this? Or am I over reacting? My boyfriends company, which is a government company with a few thousand employees, is having their company Christmas party on Chanukah. I am not a religious person but I am traditional Jew and celebrate all holidays without prayer.

I am offended by this, I almost feel like they are disregarding Chanukah for their holiday like mine means nothing to them. I know it was not intended, but I still find it offensive. I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t imagine if a prominently Jewish community put one of the largest company in the area Jewish holiday on Christmas Eve… I can imagine Christians would be offended, am I wrong in this?

Just another way to look at this...

Sometimes, when a company decides to have a Christmas Party, they have to start planning months (sometimes even up to a year) ahead in order to book the caterer, the DJ or band, and the facilities in which to hold the party. Choosing a date for the party can be as arbitrary as the company secretary and the caterer both looking at their calendars and agreeing on a date.

As another Jewish person who lives in a solidly Christian country - I find that most non-Jews do not have a clue about this and I am sure it was an innocent oversight.

I do not celebrate Christmas; but I do accept it when someone wishes me "Merry Christmas" for instance. I say thank you, same to you... and move on.

Also - Chanukah ... as Jewish holidays go -- is not a major holiday. It is considered a minor festival .. religiously speaking. It has taken on a prominent position b/c of it's proximity to Christmas.

Why not offer to bring a menorah and make a gesture towards any of the company's Jewish workers ... Make it a joint event... ask if anyone wants to put up Chanukah decorations... It could be an opportunity to do a little educating in a fun environment. You never know.

Insensitive? I'm not sure. I would say more along the lines of ignorance.

I can't tell you if you're overreacting, because I'm not in your shoes. Is it a cruddy situation? Sure thing. I'd be upset if there was a company party on a religious holiday to me. But, I don't think the company set out to offend, nor to disclude you (or anyone else who is Jewish) on purpose. Like weldrwomn said, many large companies plan way in advance.

If it really bothers you, maybe you can write a constructive letter and suggest that next year, when planning the party, they make sure that it doesn't land on any other religious holiday, so that people of all faiths can celebrate with the company.

I don't know how much that would affect them, because you're not an employee, but it's always worth a try. And you might find that you feel better.

It's wrong and foolish, but many people think of Christianity as America's "national religion," failing to recognize the wisdom of separation of church and state. As a result, most people are fairly ignorant of the traditions of other faiths.

So the people who planned this probably aren't even aware of when Chanukah will be, or that having the party on that day would be a problem. I very much doubt that they meant any disrespect to your faith -- it's probably a simple matter of ignorance.

No, I don't think you should feel offended at all. There's so much intentional meanness in the world... there's no sense upsetting ourselves over mere thoughtlessness, y'know?

But you might want to wear a Star of David necklace to the party... just to make a subtle point to anyone sharp enough to get it.

Originally Posted by WELDRWOMN

Just another way to look at this...

Sometimes, when a company decides to have a Christmas Party, they have to start planning months (sometimes even up to a year) ahead in order to book the caterer, the DJ or band, and the facilities in which to hold the party. Choosing a date for the party can be as arbitrary as the company secretary and the caterer both looking at their calendars and agreeing on a date.

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I have to agree. There are always scheduling problems with big parties like this and it may have been that was the only time that was free. And also they may have also been thinking of it in which day would bring the most employees out.

I think this is just another instance of when tradition and majority rules. From Wiki:

Hanukkah (Hebrew: חנוכה‎, pronounced [ˈχanuka], also spelled Chanukah), also known as the Festival of Lights, is an eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd century BCE. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, and may occur from late November to late December on the Gregorian calendar.

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Since it is an 8 day celebration I think it is unrealistic to expect all Christmas festivities to halt during those 8 days, don't you think?

I don't think you should be offended any more than I should be offended if I was invited to a Hanukkah party in Israel that happened to fall on Dec. 25th!

Of course I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t think everything should be on hold for 8 days LOL sheesh, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not that unreasonable. The first night is the night that the synagogue holds their prayers and dinners etc. You say you wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t be offended but I am finding it funny here that everyone is laughing at me (Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not a serious person and am making this argument with jest with people here) for being my areas “only Jew†yet when asked if the situations were reversed and it was Christmas Eve and they had to pray would they be offended, and yes the religious folks were, but of course, as it is always … its different lol.

In my adulthood I am not religious, however, I grew up celebrating all holidays and fondly remember all my Chanukah spent with my family and my Rabbi in deep prayer and ritual, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s always been a special holiday for me.

I am not angry at the whole thing, just annoyed, I guess I should be used to it by now but this was still surprising to me. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m tired of every time something Jewish happens people mentioned “itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s not the same†it almost makes it ok to disregard my Religion.

I wonâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t make a stink about it, but with my personality I will certainly make jokes about it, at least with the jokes people will know not to intrude on my Chanukah next year! Lol.

The main reason I am mad is I really wanted to go to the synagogues dinner and participate in the prayers and rituals. Of course my boyfriend would come with me and not even say a word about it but he has been talking about this Christmas party all year since we missed last years. He was so excited, his friends were even going to wear Santa hats, and they wanted to take a limo together, etc. So now, how am I supposed to celebrate my holiday without feeling incredibly guilty? It just sucks.

It ALWAYS stinks when two events fall on the same day. There isn't a person alive that has had to make tough choices about which event to attend.

But since you said you are not a practicing Jew in your adulthood, this would seem to fall more into the event category than in the Religous Observance category. It just means you need to make a choice and attend the event that YOU feel is most important. Maybe that means you and the BF go to separate events. What is doesn't mean is that the company scheduled this event on your special day in spite or disregard for your religion.

Oh no, I by no means think that they did this out of spite. Where I live, people are very sweet for the most part. However, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s still ignorant.

Also I said I was a traditional Jew, that doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t mean Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not a practicing Jew. It means I celebrate all of the holidays and participate in all of the traditions but I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t religiously attend the Synagogue or pray on a regular basis. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not religious, but I am traditional if this makes sense.

As I said, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m tired of having my religion on the back burner because itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s not important and people donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t understand. I havenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t been able to celebrate a Jewish holiday with my family (who is a 2 hour plane ride away) in 2 years because its not acceptable to take Jewish holidays even if I ask to be able to work Christmas in order to take my Jewish ones. If I ever complain I am responded to like most of those in this thread “Its no biggie, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s just a so and soâ€. I just wish it was easier for me to do my own thing is all.

As I said, I am more mad that I am put in a situation where either I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t celebrate something I have always celebrated my whole life, or I make my boyfriend not go to something he has been raving about for a year. Its not an option to go different places, he wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like that.

Well, I'd say it is insensitive to your religion, but I think you should gauge your level of offense taken to the level which was intended, i.e., probably none. Hanukkah begins at sunset on a Friday this year (Dec. 11, right?), so it may just be a matter of that being the only weekend in December available for the party.

In the US at least, most people tend to be by and large uneducated when it comes to their own religion and forget about them having even the most basic knowledge of other ones. Most non-Jewish people (and certainly me until now) probably don't even realize that there is a particular day on which Hanukkah is celebrated. Take it as an opportunity to educate them about it and see if they will be kind enough to try to at least try not to schedule the party on that day in the future.

By law they have to give you your religious holidays off. It sounds like big enough company that they should be familiar with the employment laws. There is no excuse.

I am very sensitive to things like this (because of my own beliefs) and I don't think it is something I would be offended by. If it was a predominantly Jewish area than yes it would be very insensitive of the company making them choose between the two events. But where it is just you I don't think you can expect them to be able to accommadate you on this. It is difficult to arrange a date for these things so they probably just picked what was available.

I don't celebrate the xmas holidays so when I came to my new company they put it on for maybe 2-3 yrs as a "xmas" party but when I wouldn't show up and they knew it was because of my religious beliefs they very kindly changed it to the "employee end of year party". I was very touched because I certainly hadn't expected any sort of special consideration. But mine is a super small company of less than 30 employees. You notice when someone isn't there.

Oops, sorry I assumed you were in the USA. Does Canada have laws to protect your religious freedom?

Yes we do. But I am guessing this is mostly my fault. My company has been going through lay offs for a long time, over a year. I have been trying to stay on the down low and have been successful so far!

I have asked two times to be able to take a Jewish holiday without a vacation day. Without going into details of the two times to put it lightly it pretty much went all the way up the food chain to the executive office and the president and the executive HR manager both had to have a meeting, etc, called me, asked about it, to me it was too much of a big deal when I am trying to keep down low. I am from a predominantly Jewish area in Toronto, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not used to this.

As I said I am more annoyed then anything about this whole thing, I do try and educate people as much as I can. I find most people are interested and like to learn but donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t really take it all too seriously. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not so religious that im going to freak out and make a huge deal, but I do wish it was easier to do my thing.

Originally Posted by BaloneysMom

Oh no, I by no means think that they did this out of spite. Where I live, people are very sweet for the most part. However, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s still ignorant.

Also I said I was a traditional Jew, that doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t mean Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not a practicing Jew. It means I celebrate all of the holidays and participate in all of the traditions but I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t religiously attend the Synagogue or pray on a regular basis. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not religious, but I am traditional if this makes sense.

As I said, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m tired of having my religion on the back burner because itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s not important and people donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t understand. I havenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t been able to celebrate a Jewish holiday with my family (who is a 2 hour plane ride away) in 2 years because its not acceptable to take Jewish holidays even if I ask to be able to work Christmas in order to take my Jewish ones. If I ever complain I am responded to like most of those in this thread “Its no biggie, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s just a so and soâ€. I just wish it was easier for me to do my own thing is all.

As I said, I am more mad that I am put in a situation where either I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t celebrate something I have always celebrated my whole life, or I make my boyfriend not go to something he has been raving about for a year. Its not an option to go different places, he wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like that.

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Based on what you are saying, I stand by my "this is an event conflict" statement, and not a religious necessity or an intentional undermining of Jewish tradition by a biased or uncaring corporation. It is unfortunate conflict of events, and you have to approach the conflict like any adult with conflicts.

It's really no different than having two children who play sports on different teams and having both games fall at the same time. A parent has to make a decision as to which game they attend since it is impossible to attend both, unless they leave one event early to attend the other before it ends.

This may be the first time you will have conflicting events, but it will by no means be the last time. But it is in NO WAY a reason for you to feel "offended" unless you are seeking an excuse to be offended, as no one caused this scheduling conflict to personally "offend" you.

Most companies around where i am from throw HOLIDAY parties, so as not to leave out any of the holidays celebrated in December. Booking a large party takes a lot of work and speaking as someone who worked for one of the biggest caterers in the area this is a BUSY time of year. My first night as a waitress was a 600 person holiday banquet. and that was only in ONE of the banquet rooms. From the end of November to the end of December companies such as the one i once worked for are booked solid. And many companies (Like the one a friend of mine works for) Celebrate their party every year at the same hall. They have to book way in advance to get a spot and it is possible that it is this way at your husbands company. It really probably is just an oversite.

Also, if i were invited to a Chanukah party on Christmas eve and didnt have other plans, i would happily go.

Honnestly, they probably didn't even know. I don't even know what day it is unless I look it up or glance at a calendar. That might be bad, but unless you practice a certain faith you are bound to not know what days it falls on. If Chanukah was the widely spread celebrated holliday in the US I am sure there would be a lot of people who didn't know what day Christmas was.

Heck, there are so many hollidays already... I often forget that one is comming until it's actually here!

AH! New Brunswick, CANADA! I thought it was New Brunswick, New Jersey! Sorry for the church/state rant. Or does Canada have a similar principle?

Chirstmas always falls on Dec 25th, Christmas eve is always on Dec 24th. With some of the Jewish "holidays" - they vary in when the actual date is - sometimes its 2 weeks before the Christian holiday, sometimes really close.

Sounds like this years its ON the Christian holiday. Because a lot of people in our office are off around these holidays, our office will celebrate a general "holiday" party in January when everyone is back in the office.

Having organised many company events - there is rarely a single day you can find that does not impinge on someone's religious holiday (or the boss' gold tournament / cruise / whatever else the higher ups have in their diaries)

Working in Toronto, we pay very close attention to Jewish and Christian holidays when planning, but we have lots of Muslims and other faiths in our building - it is literally impossible to please everyone, let alone the minority.

Some hotels / banquet halls etc can book 2 years in advance for holiday parties, you take what date you can get!