- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #21
Thanks everyone, she is coming over in a bit. I am not sure how to act...its so strange when people don't realize they are screwing up their lives. Not to mention the impact it has on their children.
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Prayers and Vibes needed for my Sister
- Thread starter trouts mom
- Start Date
Aw, that is so sad. I'm really glad everyone involved in the accident was OK though.
I've had to deal with all kinds of different issues in people I care about. In the end - sometimes it actually helps to get mad. If this is a pattern - maybe she needs to hear pretty much what you told us you want to say.
When friends and family stop handing out the money, the shoulders for crying on, and offer time only to the children - sometimes that's the wake up call. It's hard on everyone, I know that much.
to you all.
I've had to deal with all kinds of different issues in people I care about. In the end - sometimes it actually helps to get mad. If this is a pattern - maybe she needs to hear pretty much what you told us you want to say.
to you all.
I have no advice for you, Nat, but lots of and prayers for all of you -- for your sister, for her girls, and for all of you in the unenviable position of trying to be supportive, without enabling her destructive tendencies. I'm glad there were at least no injuries in the accident.
I think the first step is to get her to see a counsellor Nat?.
My thoughts and prayers are with your family and especially your sister at this time. It is a hard sistuation to go through but try to keep reminding yourself and her as well there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and you just have to keep moving forward....
Lot's of vibes coming her way...
Lot's of vibes coming her way...
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #26
Yes, she is starting counselling on Thursday and she is looking forward to it.
That is a start.
My mention of supporting her....its amazing what any kind of support can mean to a person in need. I know its difficult, especially when outsiders can plainly see what the issues are but the person can't or won't.
Support can come in very simplistic forms: being there for her to talk to if she wants, knowing that you will help her if you can, knowing that she's loved and cared for.
I'm not saying you do this, but some people assume their love and care is apparant, and never say "i love you" or "you are a great person". It is amazing what effect those simple words can do.
Sometimes just knowing that someone is there for you in your times of need, is all the support you can give.
Continued for your sister, I do hope the couselling will help her emotional wellbeing. And some continued for you and the rest of the family.... it is so hard to watch someone we love, self destruct.
I totally agree with this. She does need to hit rock bottom. I did after my mom died and it took 8 months for me to wake up and realize that I couldn't keep going on how I was. I still have times where I am depressed, but it is based on what is going on currently and does not linger.
Counseling should help her. It will help her with setting up goals for herself and growing stronger as an individual. She is very much like my friend who depends on a man, but can no longer make it on her own. She was not there for me the one time I needed her and acted very selfish and childish. I have always been there for her and listened to her complaints and given her advice, but after being ignored and hung up on when she is mad, I finally had it and told her I was done. I think she depends too much upon me and needs to learn a few lessons on her own. I can no longer help her. She needs to stop feeling sorry for herself and get out of her depression on her own.
I really hope that your sister can recover. Does she get really defensive at everything you say? If she does, that is a huge sign of denial and only she will be able to get out once she in no longer blinded by what she believes.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #29
She get totally defensive. Her whole life has been lived in a strange manner. And if any of us in the family say anything she doesn't like, she doesn't talk to us for months (or even years in some cases). She is very much in denial. We try to tell her that this guy she is pining over is stringing her along...etc..and she stills thinks he is not and that he loves her and just needs time.Originally Posted by Duchess15
Does she get really defensive at everything you say? If she does, that is a huge sign of denial and only she will be able to get out once she in no longer blinded by what she believes.
Also, we tell her she needs to get back into school, she didn't get the loans for no reason...she then has an out burst.."I KNOW!"
Its so frustrating to stand by and watch..its like a train wreck.
Last night my neices asked me who they would live with if their parents died
It's a sad situation, Nat. I don't know that you can do much to help your sister, but your nieces certainly need your love, support and understanding. Lots of
Sending vibes to your sister and family, Nat.
Oh my goodness, i wonder how much their witnessing with your sister and this bloke to say that?!Originally Posted by Trouts mom
Last night my neices asked me who they would live with if their parents diedThey are 4 and 9 years old
I have a friend who has two children to my old nextdoor neighbour, she's another one who's in denial, and still is. He's in another relationship now, but i've had to block her from facebook because when she's had a drink she's a loose cannon because she knows he's on my friends list.
As well as drinking still she's also on antidepressants, and i've always said she's a car crash waiting to happen
I'm pleased she's seeing a counsellor though
