Time for the truth (long)

Originally Posted by sarahp

Guys, she knows what she did was wrong, and she seems to have some problems which hopefully she'll get help with. We're all cat lovers and shocked at the situation, but let's try not to make this even harder for her.

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I agree. She realizes she did wrong and she's beating herself up over it now. Let's not try to make her stay away from this site in danger of being judged. What is done is done. She has to work on the future.

I agree, printing out your post and showing it is a start. Also, keep a copy in your purse. I don't know if you go to the pet stores to buy your food, but if you do there will always be sweet faces looking for homes. Keep it with you so you can read it and remember what it was like.

Helping at a rescue or even a vets office will have you being around animals that need love and reassurance. But please, if you help at a shelter, PLEASE show them this also and sign something that you agree to not take any in the near future. You have a lot of love to give and you need an outlet for it that you are not finacially able to do right now. Volunteering right now may be your answer, along with getting your life on track with set goals.

Originally Posted by LDG

Several people have said this, and I'm not clear that this is true. It may be nit-picking given the circumstances. But RussianKitten said she put the first three in crates and put them on someone's doorstep with a note to please call a rescue. A week later, Caspian showed up on her doorstep. Obviously the kitties did not reach a rescue.

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Now, I also see some members suggesting her to foster - I don't agree with that.... When you foster, you need to be responsible for the cats too... you can't just get overwhelmed and drive them away and leave them on someones' door steps, or re-home them not knowing if that home will be in fact a GOOD, HEALTHY forever home...
I think the OP needs to take care of her underlying problem first, and that does not involve having cats... We are talking about living beings here, including her....

I agree that fostering would be a very bad idea, as would volunteering - there would be too many sad stories and temptations.

Originally Posted by sarahp

I agree that fostering would be a very bad idea, as would volunteering - there would be too many sad stories and temptations.

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Good point...

Russiankitten - I agree with the other posters here that some underlying emotional or psychological problem is driving you to do what you are doing with these cats. Please - if you are not getting help - go get some. I am not a mental health professional, but someone who has struggled with depression her entire life. You need to get a grip on YOUR life before you can share it with another living creature - cat, human- whatever.

I have to say that I am quite shocked and disturbed what has happened to these poor cats. I haven't been on here awhile, so I haven't read your previous posts. I am not here to judge you but you need to seek professional help and get your life on track before aquiring anymore animals. You have to know your limits and plan on keeping your pets for life. They depend on you for that.

I agree fostering and volunteering would be a bad idea as well. Too many temptations. Just take care of yourself okay and get the help you need. It just sounds like you don't need animals right now. Get your life on track first and foremost and maybe in a few years or many years for now you can provide a forever home for the cats you take in.

Originally Posted by Miagi's_Mommy

I have to say that I am quite shocked and disturbed what has happened to these poor cats. I haven't been on here awhile, so I haven't read your previous posts. I am not here to judge you but you need to seek professional help and get your life on track before aquiring anymore animals. You have to know your limits and plan on keeping your pets for life. They depend on you for that.

I agree fostering and volunteering would be a bad idea as well. Too many temptations. Just take care of yourself okay and get the help you need. It just sounds like you don't need animals right now. Get your life on track first and foremost and maybe in a few years or many years for now you can provide a forever home for the cats you take in.

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But what is she to do with the three she has now?
RK....I feel bad for you, I honestly do Please do stay here and don't leave; we'll all try to help you I think!! Can you keep the three you have now and not get any more? Can you get help? Can you concentrate on your studies while taking care of your three kitties? If you cannot keep the kitties, please seek help in placing them properly; but know that many here do care about you. I know how it feels to be lonely!! I've been there....when I was in school, my two cats were my everything; I would get very depressed at times and was so glad I had a kitty sleeping in the crook of my arm to get me through the bad times. I do understand. I hope you can work through this. Thank you for your honesty!!! and hugs...

I agree with those that said that admitting what you've done over the last year is a good first step.

Do you have the courage it takes to take the next step?

I would think the next step would be to admit this to at least a health care professional. What you are doing sounds like you have compulsive tendencies. You have a "support worker"...is this somebody that you can reach out to to help you get in contact with someone who can help you with the psychological issues which are at the root of this? I don't know that you have 100% control over these compulsions, but you do have 100% control over seeking help to overcome them.

You've admitted this to us, which I'm sure wasn't easy, but we're strangers who really hold no "real" place in your life. You need to seek help from those that are in your life right now, flesh and bone, not on a computer screen. That is the only way you're going to be able to overcome this problem. It's not a matter of finances, or loneliness. It's more. Much more. The way to make it right is to get well, and only you can start that process.

Originally Posted by RussianKitten

His name was Caspian. He was an adorable cat from the pet shop. Around Christmas time last year I added two more who I found off the internet. I named them Tiramisu and Chantilly. A couple of weeks later I added another one Vienna. I placed the three girls in a cat carrier and my boy in another carrier. I quietly went out placed them on the doorstep of a family with the words "I am sorry please phone rescue" written taped on each one. Tiramisu was ill she needed her tablet.
Caspain a week later appeared on my doorstep I brought him in. I was so relieved. I loved him so much. a month later some one I know tells me a feral cat has made a home in her shed and has had kittens. I said I would save this kitten. So I chose to keep the feral kitten. Caspian was rehomed a few days later.
Anyway this kitten had a lot of issues. I rehomed this kitten after two weeks. Good or bad either way I love cats. So I went to the pet shop. So I brought home Symphony and Amadeus. Nefertiti a small little black kitten was in the market. I paid for her, scooped her up and brought her home.
I decided I wanted just one more kitten. So off to another pet shop I went. And home came Galileo.
Galileo had been with me the least amount of time. So I placed an add in the paper and he was gone.
So Symphony and Nefertiti got put in a cat carrier together and taken off to my parents. Amadeus was the first chosen so I decided I would keep him.
Symphony and Nefertiti came home.
So I put an advert in the paper. A very nice lady came round. She chose Amadeus and Symphony.
So I was left with Nefertiti.
Last week...I went to the market the same place Nefertiti came from. They had two kittens. Adorable tabbys. I could not choose between them so Rumpleteazer and Mungo-Jerry came home with me.
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Originally Posted by RussianKitten

The crazy thing is though I loved all those cats so much.

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Love means different things to different people. IMO, while you might have liked the cats very much and counted on them to fullfill a part of you, some might say it wasn't true love or you wouldn't have put them in some of the situations you talk about happening, I can tell by the tone in your post you are sad about what has happened. You know you need some help and this behavior cannot continue. I am really sad for you, and for those kittens. It isn't healthy for you, or the kitties
I really think you need to seek help by talking with a doctor and seeking therapy. This is step one, by you being so brave and posting, it doesn't change the facts of what happened, only helps you admit it. The first step is admitting. Now please seek help for yourself, if you don't help yourself, you can't help your animals, or any animals at all, either.

It took a lot of guts to make the first step and come clean about what really happened.
Please remember that we are all concerned about you as well as the kitties that have passed through your life. I hope you do not feel judged harshly, and will continue to come here and discuss this with those of us that would love to be able to save them all, but unfortunately it is just not possible.
I truly think you had the best of intentions and just got overwhelmed. I hope you can get some help for this, and someday be happy and healthy with as many cats as you can feasibly handle. It may just be one or two, but please just remember that everyone has their limits. Yours may not be the large number you would like it to be.
For now, you need to take care of you, and the cats you have.

I just want to add...

If you are having problems with your current cats (fighting, peeing, ect) please post about it so we can help you. Surely will all of the brain power of TCS we can figure something out, to help you.

I am so very GLAD that you took the first step and now see the problem. Now that you know that there is something 'not right' you will be better able to prevent anymore bad decisions in the future. Make a rule for yourself, you need to think about something "X" amount of days before acting on it.

Stick with the cats you have, they need you & you need them. When things get rough just remember how much you love them & how aweful you felt when you gave the others away. Please do not enter into temptation and get more cats, it's not fair to the cats or you - it seems you are currently at cat-capacity for your situation.

If you need someone to talk to, I am here. In fact, promise me that you will PM me if you feel the need to rehome your cats, or get another cat - we can work through it together.

I hope you are doing okay, please don't leave TCS, we really do want what is best for you and these cats. You are a member of our family, we are here to help you in your times of need.

Every time you've 'given up' one of your cats you've actually been really, really hurting yourself. I don't think anyone can make you feel worse than you already do.

You need to tell your support worker everything that's gone on and see if you can maybe get some extra help and a diagnosis if you haven't already. I too have mental health problems and am in touch with a psychiatric hospital, the very fact that you know you have problems means you're not crazy and there's no shame in getting all the help on offer.

You need other things to focus on, I'm glad you're going to college, keep it up and do well, you seem like a very smart person! Find other things that interest you to occupy you when you're at home, things that make you feel good about yourself!

Stay away from Leeds market like I'm trying to, sometimes I walk past to see if they have kittens in, I personally would never buy one but for some reason I find myself going to see if they have any. I always feel terribly guilty and sad but also very angry - Not good for my mental health!

If you feel the need to help cats, volunteer to do fundraising for a charity such as Cats Protection, that way you'll be helping but not tempted. You'll also meet other crazy cat people! When I joined our CP last year I made a very good friend and she's done me the world of good.

Look after the cats you now have, give them all the love you have and give them the best life you possibly can. As they grow up don't feel the need to add another kitten or two, adult cats can be just as playful (and annoying ) as kittens, they will all have their own personalities and you'll have a special bond with them. It will be a reward in itself to see them grow up!

If you have any problems with them make sure you ask for advice. People here are great and have a lot of experience plus you can always go to the vets and speak to a nurse for free.

Lastly, I just want to add that I finally got my cats insured (the dog, I have savings for) and each cat is costing me £5.26 a month (28 days) although there are cheaper policies with these people. It's definitely given me peace of mind now that we've adopted Meg. If you want a link to my insurance company, let me know.

Good luck and I hope I've not come across as patronising at all!

Gem

All those cats abandoned. And lying about them to get sympathy. Now a confession here and more sympathy from everyone here. I am not flaming. I understand this member has a problem.

But I think everyone is being a little bit too careful and gentle with this person for the things that have been done. To me, the post reads as another bid for sympathy. I can't stop thinking about those cats that were dumped. And all the cats that will be dumped if this keeps on. I read in another thread, someone advising tough love. Perhaps that is needed here also.

If any of it at all is true.

It's really horrid to think about those cats that came before. I honestly feel it has tremendous psychological impact on some cats to be removed from their warm, loving home (if that's what they had) and dumped somewhere with no clue as to what's happening to them. A lot of cats find it incredibly hard to adjust to new people, a new home (if they manage to get one.)

Please think about these things and realize that NOTHING justifies putting another living being through all that. If you have problems, sort them out. And if being honest with yourself you realise you cannot say that you DEFINETLY WILL NOT abandon the cats you currently have, please make the effort to find them loving forever homes! Ask the people in your life (parents etc) to help you do that if you feel overwhelmed.

I was angry too when I read the post but felt it better to give some positive things she can do to help herself and her situation. I'm hoping that she'll be able to get herself sorted if that's what she wants but if not then yes it would be better to rehome the cats and not get any more. I'd hate to hear that the cycle had continued.

The bottom line is, one way or another, truth or lie, IMO the OP needs psychiatric care. I am curious to know what this "Case Worker" is?? Is she already under psych care for something else? did she go to an institution? Is she addicted? what is this case worker for?
Because if she is already being treated in some capacity, how come this person doesn't know about all this?
And if she is already in psych care, and she has been hiding this from them, and working around it, IMO she is in no place to have animals at all.
To the OP - please, in all truthful 100% honesty: Can you emotionally and financially afford these 3 cats for life?
Do you think you can insure them? Like... now?
And... are you under treatment, or can you seek treatment?
If not, how can we help you so that your kittens are taken care of?

Originally Posted by otto

All those cats abandoned. And lying about them to get sympathy. Now a confession here and more sympathy from everyone here. To me, the post reads as another bid for sympathy. I can't stop thinking about those cats that were dumped. And all the cats that will be dumped if this keeps on.
If any of it at all is true.

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Yes, makes the OP feel better to write and share experiences. But on the other side it seriously disturbs or worries every cat lover who reads how many cats in and out in a short amount of time.

Originally Posted by otto

Now a confession here and more sympathy from everyone here.

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I was thinking the same thing two pages ago. Even the negative attention is still attention and it may be a good idea to urge the person to get help, leave it strictly at that,... and let this thread die.

Several people weren't here at the time, but some will remember a past member who did things to get sympathy and get everyone worked up. It ended up with lots of people hurt when the person faked their death.

But then there is the other side... The side of what if this is really true, and what if, just if, we can help? What is we can make a difference? Even if it is guiding her towards getting help, stopping getting more cats(remember that we DID help her stop getting those two elderly cats just last week, that was already a victory, if that was true, of course), insuring her cats, so that she can afford them and doesn't run into a similar situation that made her give away her first two kittens...
If this is true, for more horrifying that is, and it is horrifying, we can still help, if we make an effort...
I know it is not easy to read that and to respond nicely.... But She does have a problem, and that problem affects cats lives... and that is where we can make a difference.

Originally Posted by RussianKitten

Galileo had been with me the least amount of time. So I placed an add in the paper and he was gone. Again I made a story up and thrived off sympathy from others. I repeated the story to friends and family.

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As you are thriving now of our responses?

That will be the last I will say about anything Russiankitten posts ever again. Please get help, and not from the internet.