Want to adopt a kitten

One of my cats died suddenly at 15 months old and my other cat who is 2 years old misses his buddy. I would like to adopt a kitten for him.
The cat that died was a male and my current cat is a male as well. They got along great. They were best friends, always playing and cuddling.
I am thinking of getting a girl for him. But I noticed that girl cats are not as loving as male cats and they often donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t get along with other cats.
A few of my friends all have girl cats and they are all a lot less loving than male cats. You canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t even pet them. If I get a female kitten do you
think she will get friendly with my male cat? I want them to become best buddies. Or should I just get another male kitten for him?

Honestly, I don't think that the sex really matters if they're fixed. It's the temperament that you have to look for. When I got my male kitten (now 2 years old), I got a female playmate (much older than him) for him. They got along perfectly. And she was the most friendly thing on the face of this earth- went up to everyone and just wanted to be pretty and lovely and sweet. Now, I have my 2 y/o male, a 1-2 y/o female, and a 13 y/o female and they all get along perfectly. But they all have different personalities, I don't think this is because of their sex. Just because of their past (all adopted/rescued) and their amount of trust for certain people.

I say, go to a shelter and let the cat or kitten pick you. Don't pick it. That's what I've done with all mine. Just because you have had good luck with him getting along with another male, doesn't mean it will happen with a different boy. Let the cat pick you- you won't regret it!

Thank you so much. That is some great advice. One question. When you say let the kitten pick you what does this exactly mean? I really want to pick
the right one and donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t want to make a mistake. Thanks so much.

You'll be able to tell right away when there's a bond between you and the kitten. It'll do just the thing (nuzzle you, meow at you, grab you) to let you know that he's there and he's ready to go home with you. You'll pick him too, of course, because he's doing exactly what you are looking for in a kitten. It's all about chemistry, baby!

*edit* Also, remember that cats, just like people, have different personalities. Just as you have bad days, the cat will have bad days. Just as you have pet peeves, the cat will have pet peeves. The general idea that female cats are less loving than male cats is, in my opinion, unreliable. I have 3 boys and a girl and while my girl is standoffish (she was, and still is, feral to a degree), when it's only me and her or her and her daddy, you've never seen a bigger love.

Originally Posted by lovemycats74

Thank you so much. That is some great advice. One question. When you say let the kitten pick you what does this exactly mean? I really want to pick
the right one and donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t want to make a mistake. Thanks so much.

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I'll explain how I acquired some of my cats, that's the only way I know how to explain what it means:

Pirate- he was a teeny weeny kitten in a room full of like 6 other kittens. When they opened their room, all the others just wanted to play, and he literally attached himself to my leg and started biting, pretty hard. I picked him up, and it was like he just wanted to nibble and bite on me, that's all. Not cuddly in the least. But, at that moment, I felt like he was choosing me. I was told I shouldn't adopt him, lol, cuz he was so mean, but I said that I just hoped the bites would turn into kisses. And less than a week after adopting him, they did. He hasn't bitten me like that since. So, I feel he truly picked me.

Mama Mia- she was a foster. I never got as attached to a foster as I did with her. I had had skittish, untrusting fosters in the past that I worked with (my specialty ), and I just never got the urge to keep them. And one day, with Mia, I was sitting on the floor doing the normal routine of only giving her the option to eat from a bowl in my hands so she'd connect people with good things, and instead of eating (which is her FAVORITE pasttime ) she decided to give me kisses. And this was when she was still extremely timid with people, afraid of what they would do to her. At that moment I said to her that I would not let her go to another home and have to go through the whole "process" of adjusting and learning to trust again. That was well over a year ago, and she's still here choosing to give kisses instead of eat

Sidney (former cat, had to rehome)- I went to the humane society looking for a playmate for my itty-bitty kitten Pirate. I was looking for another younger kitten, maybe not as young but still a great buddy for him. I looked at a bunch of them, and when we got to Sidney's room, I didn't even notice at first that she was in there. I was interested in the 1 y/o in the room with her. Well, we opened the door and Sidney came out meowing the sweetest little lady-like meow ever, and started wrapping herself in and out of my legs. And she was the opposite of what I was looking for- I wanted a male kitten. She was a 4 y/o female cat. But she was the perfect little mommy/playmate to Pirate. That to me is a clear case of a pet choosing its person. She was the exact cat I needed at that moment- I would say she kinda saved me, and she somehow knew that I needed saving .

Just be open-minded when you choose a buddy. Because in the end, the cat will ultimately choose you whether you like it or not. And you will know it, too. It'll be a gut feeling. Of course, if you think that the cat is choosing you and the description of them maybe says something like "is NOT suited for life with another cat- that's the reason the owners had to get rid of it, it was beating up their cat" then no, not the right kitty for ya . It may take time to find one that really clicks with you and your little dude.

What beautiful stories. Thanks you so much for sharing this. How old was Pirate when you got Sidney?

One more question. I have one another female cat. She is 15 years old and she hates other cats. She tolerates Angel but still hisses and swats at him when he comes to close.
They can stay in my bed with her sleeping by my feet and him sleeping by my head but he canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t get too close.
Would a female cat be a really bad idea in this case since the alpha cat is already a female and hates other cats?

Originally Posted by lovemycats74

What beautiful stories. Thanks you so much for sharing this. How old was Pirate when you got Sidney?

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Hmmmm.... like 3-4 months? He was a teeny baby still, used to sit in my hands lol. His favorite thing to do! She would mother the crap out of him. Cleaning him, she would even try to get him to nurse from her (it got kinda creepy ). She would mother me as well, like apparently I needed her toys when I was sleeping because she would bring them to me next to my bed during the night. It was hilarious! I can just imagine what she would bring me if she ever had gone outside- eek!

I have 5 cats and they are all female.
They all get along very well.
The oldest is 17 and the youngest will be 1 next month.
Do not go by sex go but what kitten comes to you.
My Coco is 17 and the nicest cat we ever had.
I have had males before and they got along with my girls.
I got lucky with my sphynx i got lat dec.
When I introduced her to the other cat not one growled or hissed at her.
Thy became friends as soon as they met.
Oreo I thought would hiss for sure.
I got Oreo because no one would want her.
She has fcks.
Meeko has a heart murmur and herpes and Coco has CRF,Asthma and other problems.

The idea that female cats are not as friendly as males is a myth. It totally depends on the individual cat. I have four girls. Two are 2-year-old sisters. The other two are 11-month-old sisters, totally unrelated to the first two. Two are total lap kitties--one from each set of sisters. The other two are more independent, but they still sleep with me. They will also let me pet them as long as I'm just sitting next to them and not trying to pull them onto my lap.

Where are you planning to get the new kitty? If you go to a shelter, the staff should be able to tell you about the different personalities, which ones like to cuddle, which ones get along with other cats, etc. You should also ask about taking the kitten on a trial basis. If it turns into a disaster you can return the kitten and look for another one.