Your message choked me up! My mother in law got a book about mother animals for her mom, and gave it to me to read to my mom when my mom was overdosed in the hospital. I read it to her while she was coming out of her overdose, and we read it together when she was with it enough to read. I still have the book.
My mom was a great mom, she made many mistakes, missed a lot in our childhood because of her bad choices, but before she passed she cried to me about her mistakes, and wanted forgiveness. I had forgiven her long time ago, and told her so. She had quit drinking 9 months before she passed, and quit smoking at the same time. She felt bad for missing out on so much. The important thing she instilled in us was love. She made sure we knew we were loved. My mom and I had a very rocky relationship for years, we didn't get along at all when I was in my teens. She belittled me, my feelings, my thoughts. She didn't understand what it was like to be young anymore. At the time I hated her for it. As I matured, and grew, I learned that she wasn't perfect. I learned that she didn't know everything. I learned that she was human like me, and had problems and fears, and faults. I learned from her how to forgive and move forward. I learned to face my faults and admit my wrongs, and mistakes. I learned to be myself, and stand my ground.
I am glad that some of you have been inspired to share memories, and stories, and to call. I thank you all for helping me to honor my mom's memory. It means a lot to me. I hope to read more stories, good and bad. I know my mom wasn't perfect, but she was mine. I was 26, and my brother was 18 when she passed. He was a senior, he didn't graduate. I hurt more for him then myself because I had 8 more years with her then he did. He was the LAST person in the family to talk to her. She gave him her final message for the family.
Thank you all. It means a lot to me.
The important thing is that she realized her mistakes in the end. Some people, like my dad, will change for no one, not even when my mom died. She always believed in me and was someone who would never judge you based on your race or ethinicity, even though she was judged in return. She respected you for the person you were inside.
As she got sick, we reversed roles and I became her caretaker. I did things I never thought I would be able to, but I did, because she was always there for me and I would not just sit and watch her suffer. She suffered horribly and it still bothers me to this day that no matter what I did, I couldn't fix it. I would have taken her place if I could have.
You show a strength of character to have allowed your mom to be able to speak her peace to you. That is not very easy to do. I talked to my mom while she was in the hospital, but I never got to tell her that I loved her while she was still awake. Her lungs failed and that was it. I kept talking to her hoping that she could hear me, but I'll never know. I just wish I could have talked to her one more time.
She died this year and I am only 27. I have gone through what people go through in a lifetime and it isn't over yet. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her.