I'm sorry, but someone has to say it, so I will.
I agree with everyone above who said that you appear to be very ungrateful about all that your parents have done for you over your life.
You are what? 22 years old? It's time to stand up and start learning to support yourself and your bad habits, which includes spending money on gifts and trips to see a 30 year old woman who by the sounds of things is so mentally disturbed that she should be committed to a psychiatric ward.
You're lucky you have parents to help you out. In fact you are lucky to have parents period!
To put life in perspective for you because you seem absolutely oblivious to everything except for what you want or need in life.
My Mom and Dad separated when I was 9 years old. My Mom was never really healthy, but her health declined badly when I was about 12, and finally from the time I was 13 until the day she died, she spent a good 75% of her life in the hospital in the intensive care unit, which meant that I lived alone when I was 13 years old!!
During those times, here is how my life went:
- wake up to a phone call from my Dad so I could go to school.
- go to school
- When I didn't have to work or babysit to bring in money to help support her and I, I would go see my Mom in the hospital. I spent so much time there that the nurses set up a study area by my Mom's bed for me, and even ordered meal trays. At 11:30pm when the evening shift ended, one of the nurses would drive me home.
- Rinse and repeat the next day and every other day that she was in the hospital.
I've had a social insurance number from the time I was 13 years old because I've had to work to bring in money to help support the 2 of us because we were on welfare because my Mom was unable to work. When she was in the hospital, welfare cut off her portion of the money, which meant that I had to work in order to make up the short fall to pay the rent, utilities, food, clothing, my school supplies etc. I walked everywhere even in the middle of winter during 40 below weather because there was no money for bus fare.
When she was home, her emphysema made it impossible for her to do anything. So the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, her bathing, grocery shopping and everything else associated with keeping a house fell onto my shoulders. Plus I still had to find ways to bring in money to help support us because she needed medications that the government wouldn't pay for.
In addition to that she needed medical supplies which I had to order and keep in stock, and also medical treatments which I had to do for her because there was no such thing as home care where a nurse comes out to do that stuff for the person. I had to stick a tube down my mother's throat into her lungs and suction out guck so she wouldn't suffocate. I had to stand there for an hour 2 or 3 times per day with her lying in various positions while I pounded on her back and sides to help move the guck around in her lungs so she didn't develop pneumonia. And when things got bad, I had to call an ambulance
My Mother died on Valentines Day in 1978, 2 weeks before I turned 16 years old. My Dad died the same year on November 4th. I was an orphan at 16 years old. After that lived with my brother who is a mere 5 1/2 years older than me.
My situation didn't change once I moved in with my brother. In fact it got worse! I had to pay for my own eye glasses, dental, prescriptions, school supplies, toiletries, clothing, bus fare, hair cuts etc, plus I had to pay my brother and his wife $150.00 per month room and board. I was only in grade 9!
I was working full time at a job that paid me $1.85 per hour, while I was going to school full time. My grades sucked! Do you know how many hours you have to work at $1.85 per hour to make $150.00? A lot!
And I had to make more because that $150.00 went to putting a roof over my head and food in my mouth, even though I ate at one of the restaurants I worked at most of the time.
I didn't even have my own room. Initially I shared a room and a bed with my niece who had a bed wetting problem. It's not very fun waking up every single night in a puddle of urine and having to change the bed. Eventually I was moved to the basement, an unfinished one, where a portion of the basement was literally curtained off with just enough space for a single bed and a small 3 drawer dresser. On the other side of the curtain was the TV area which was always in use. My clothes were hung on a strung up clothes line in the laundry room which was nothing more than a washer and dryer in a completely unfinished, cobweb filled part of the basement.
When I lived there I was "built in babysitter" for their 2 children (hers from a previous marriage). Meaning that if I happened to have plans to go out with friends, I had to cancel so that my brother and his wife could go out. I also started dinner each night, had to vacuum every week, clean 2 bathrooms, and do the dishes every day. Oh and did I mention laundry? Yes, that was my job right down to washing poopie diapers when their youngest came along.
Eventually they had a baby together. He was unplanned at the time. They had been trying for more than a year to get pregnant, but were unsuccessful, so my brother changed his work hours so that she could return to school full time and they decided to put off having a baby until she graduated from nursing school.
He worked nights, she went to school during the day and worked part time in the evening and when she wasn't working she was studying. Unfortunately at the onset of all that she found out that she was pregnant after all. So the responsibility fell on me to raise my youngest nephew for the first few years of his life. I had to lug 3 kids to the sitter, in the morning, pick them up from either school or the babysitters after I finished school. And somehow I managed in between all of that to work four part time jobs (1. telephone soliciting; 2. taking inventory; 3. restaurant; 4. freelance typing. I even tried selling jewellery through in home parties for a while)
I've been supporting myself since I was 13 years old! And living on my own for a good portion of that time too. I moved out of my brother's house a few months after I turned 19 because they wanted to double my room and board to $300.00 per month because I had graduated high school.
I've been on my own and supporting myself since then. There have been many lean years and days where I didn't have anything to eat because of a shortage of money. But I've always managed to find some honest and legal way to support myself to get by, be it cleaning people's homes or even babysitting.
When I went back to school in 1994, I had been out of high school for 14 years. No one helped me while I was in school. I had to depend on student loans and working to get myself through school and continue to be able to pay my bills.
I knew what I had to do to be able to get through school and I knew how limited my time was going to be in second year. Before each lab we had to have an assignment done. They could be time consuming. At the onset of the course we were given a syllabus that outlined what we were going to be doing for each lab over the 2 year period. Between the course load and working I found it tight to get my lab assignments done in year one, but I managed. However, I made things easier for myself for year two by working ahead on year two stuff during my winter, spring and summer breaks in year one, I worked ahead through stuff that I would need to have done in year one. By the time I got into second year I had all of my second year labs done and all I had to do was pull them out, read them and hand them in on lab day.
Could I have travelled and spent time goofing off with my friends during my school breaks? Sure I could have. But I didn't. I made a conscious choice to improve my situation in second year, and I picked up more hours working too.
There is no reason on this God's green earth for you to be the way that you are right now in life other than shear laziness and the fact that your parents are enabling you and your bad behaviour. All they've done is manage to help you become a selfish, self-centred, free loader.
You are 22 years old. You should be out working on your school breaks and earning money towards your school and all of your supplies instead of depending on your parents to pay for it all, and they shouldn't be feeding into your habits of travelling when you should be working.
You should be ashamed of yourself for the way you treat and talk about your parents. That chick in Canada is totally using you, and you in turn are totally using, and abusing your parents.
It's time to grow up!
Your parents will die one day and then what? Whose going to support you then? That chick in Canada?
Not likely. She can't even support herself either financially or mentally.
You seem to have it in your head that you have such a hard life. Well guess what? Your life if a cake walk compared to what I've lived through.
Open your eyes and see how good you have it in life! Take responsibility for your own self! Stop freeloading off of your parents!
You're lucky you aren't my kid! I'd have cut you off financially long ago even if that meant you had to quit school and get a job in order to learn some of life's hard knocks about what it takes to be an adult and take care of yourself. That's what your parents seriously need to do to you for your own good.