Adding a cat--Will Toby hate me forever?

So, I have a 9 year old cat, Toby. I want to get a new kitten as a playmate and someone to love on for Trina (because she's like that, seen it a gajillion times). I'm simply worried Toby might be too old to add a member to the household (even on that will probably be kept occupied by Trina).

When adding a third, has anyone ever had a cat that hated them forever? I want Toby to be happy. =\\ But I also want Trina to be happy. Le sigh. Suggestions?

My oldest cat Molasses was 9 when I brought in a stray from the street. It took time for him to get use to him and for some reason Mo has become very close friends with him, the new cat was about 5 months old. Given time it does work out. Good luck.

My cat Sneakers is very grumpy. She doesn't like dogs or other cats. When I brought Church and then Roxy home, she was very unhappy with them but not mad at me... She acted the same way towards me, she just hissed and/or swatted at the kittens when they came near her. She still doesn't like them much but they learned to stay out of her way so she ignores them.

Originally Posted by Fiery

So, I have a 9 year old cat, Toby. I want to get a new kitten as a playmate and someone to love on for Trina (because she's like that, seen it a gajillion times). I'm simply worried Toby might be too old to add a member to the household (even on that will probably be kept occupied by Trina).

When adding a third, has anyone ever had a cat that hated them forever? I want Toby to be happy. =\\ But I also want Trina to be happy. Le sigh. Suggestions?

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With me, it was just the opposite. Persi was the established male, ruler of the kingdom, when Alley arrived. Persi wanted to make friends right away (both were fixed) but Alley hissed and scratched Persi's face for about ten days. They eventually became best of friends, which I have an attached photo to show you. Later, a kitten, Shelby, came to live with us for 2 months, another female, and the two were totally inseperable. Shelby even followed Persi into the litter box, watched him and followed suit.

Your question is about age though, I think. I can tell you that I had a ten year old female cat and then a cat of underterminable age showed up on the door step one day. The resident cat did not like this cat (intruder) being around one bit. But that passed (probably about ten days again). We did the old introductions a little at a time routine and they ended up living together for ten happy years.

Hmmmm, I will definitely have to think about it. I just keep looking down at my two babies and think "There's one missing!"

Then again, Toby has only just begun to be happy and play since we got Trin three years ago. Then again, this space is bigger, it's cleaner, there's an upstairs and a downstairs (still only one bedroom, but still!), and.. well, I'm using the Feliway diffusers. I think that helps. ^_^

So far I haven't run across any kitten that I've absolutely had to have, but.. now that I'm volunteering, that might change!

Think carefully. Toby already sprays/has LB issues, right? Adding another cat will, most likely, simply make his issues worse.

He did, but he's quit. He wasn't spraying, just didn't particularly like the litter box; carpet and bathtubs were better. But now he hasn't had an accident. ^_^

Realize adding another cat could likely cause his issues to re-occur. Are you prepared to deal with LB issues again long term, in the event he never stops have "out of the box" experiences?

trust your gut instinct. if toby has only just started playing, maybe he's really happy as he is?? i see what you are saying about trina - you must feel stuck in the middle. i definately wouldn't get another male - toby sounds like he would act up a bit if he were displaced. is there not a way that you could gradually get toby to interact more with trina?

i've always found that cats tend to find their own way with eachother i.e. extreme avoidance etc, but it would be a shame to put toby out. i think the cat you chose would have to suit toby more than trina - trina sounds quite amenable so may like most cats.

oooohhh its a tricky one!!!

You have a really good memory! I don't think his litterbox issues will recurr since I think it was lack of scooping/bad placement that caused them to begin with, but if they do, then yes, I am prepared.

But now I've come up with a solution, perhaps! I'm going to try my hand at fostering. If Toby can adapt well to that, then we'll consider it; if not, I'll quit, and keep Toby as happy as he is. ^_^

It would be third one? Well you need to have good size house. Number one problem I find is too many animals in an inadequate living space. Like my friend that has a dog and 4 cats and some lizard and wonders why the cat hiss and spray, there is just too much going in that house plus 3 kids for any type of rational peace.

For whatever it's worth, another experience with adding cats, not that it's exactly similar, but it does offer another scenario to consider...

Shasta was 14 when Gryphon and Nibs came to live with us. They were both about 6 years old. Gryph was the negotiator, Nibs was the chicken with whiskers. Initially, Shasta said some strong words and then ignored the boys -- and me. But she came around. She did forgive me after a couple of months, and eventually she and Nibs could be found grooming each other. Of course, this was not supposed to be public knowledge, so whenever a human walked in on them, Shasta would feign distaste at his attentions, and saunter away , leaving him with a "Was it something I said ?" expression.

Of course, they were all adults, but I do think the boys gave her a new lease on life. She lived to 21+