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I have been threatened!

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
I just got a phone call from my mother in law,and because Ted was not here,she asked me to come up and get her,as she was being held againt her will,when I said I could not do that she sais well you b**** and when she got out she was going to kill me! I called the hospital and told them not to help her call us anymore,I was not going to take it anymore!I do not need this!
Thanks for letting me rant,Ted's not here so I had no one else to rant to.
Thanks Sherral
post #2 of 18
Sherral, it sounds as of this woman is TOTALLY off her rocker! I hope that the hospital can get her on some kind of medication, that will make her act like a human being.

Its good that you notified the hospital. Maybe, she needs to be on a more secure ward, with very restricted access. She's already proven to be violent.

Years ago, I worked in a nursing home, with a locked-down Alzheimer's ward. When they opened it, they couldn't get any of the staff, to go and work it, because they wouldn't pay more. Some of these old people are STRONG and they do injure other people.
post #3 of 18
Sherral, this attitude of hers is sadly quite typical under the circumstances. If I had a quarter for every time that Mike's mom threatened either one of us, I would be rich. Really, it is part the shock of what she is dealing with, her anxiety, dementia, etc...

Last time we went to see Mom, she told us about how at night, this huge hole opens up in the floor and she can see in the basement, where there are men in lab coats performing horrible experiments on residents of the nursing home. She talks about being visited by aliens and used for experiments, insists she can see the Marines landing on the beach outside the window every night.

I know it is hard, but you just can't take them seriously, and just have pity for them and hope you are never laying in that bed dealing with so much. Mom's latest delusion is Mike is a CIA operative and on missions in Russia.......
post #4 of 18
Thread Starter 
She is in a locked ward,and I know she is pariond,and she won;t probley hurt me,And I hope I never get like her,I am just saying I do not need to hear this everyday!And neither does Ted,she slam's him everytime she talkes to him.And she has said if the kids every come to see her and make to much noise she will knock them down,I do not take the kid's anywhere around her,they range from 7 years old to 1 year old.My mother is 67 and had a nervoes[sp] 26 years ago,when my then 19 year old brother died,but at least she doesn't say she is ever going to hurt anyone. She just doesn't leave her house,and is slowing drinking her self to death.She has never even seen any of her great grand childern.I also hope, I never end up like her!
post #5 of 18
Sherral, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I know you've reported the phone call to the hospital, but could you insist that your mother in law be prevented from calling you? I would think that if she is in a psychiatric ward, she's monitored closely.

Good luck! Happy thoughts coming your way!
post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
When I called back I told them not to let her call anymore they said they would not let her,it is on the wall by the phone,she will have to wait for Ted to call her.
post #7 of 18
I know from personal experience that you are going through a tough time - but she is not doing this on purpose - she is ill. I also know that this is hard to deal with!!!

I really think she needs to have her medication re-evaluated by a psychiatrist. At her age I am sure you are dealing with some degree of old age dementia. If this has not been done you should insist on it next time you speak with her doctor.

Medications like Rispertol (?, etc.) help with the paranoia and delusions and make the world a lot happier place for you and her. There are also little to no side effects.

Good Luck and heads up!
post #8 of 18
Sherral, once your mother-in-law's evaluation is completed one of the things you and Ted might do is talk to her doctor and get advice on how to react to her when she becomes difficult. Sometimes changing the ways we react to these people makes them easier to deal with.
post #9 of 18
Thread Starter 
She just got adimited[sp] yesterday,They have started her on a med.for paronaia and delusions,don;t know what,today was her first dose,I don;t know how long it takes to start working,or how much she is getting.I just hope and pray they can help her.She is 89 years old she has been going down hill for some time,we have tried for the last six months to get her help,it was't intill she went into a home and was in there for a while,that she started acting up day after day that they saw what we had been trying to tell them for month's!Now at the hospital it only took overnight for her to turn on them,from nice to parania & delusions to start!And there she is watched 24 hour's a day,and they can see it all.
post #10 of 18
Find out which meds. they put her on - this is important! Unfortunately most medications take about 4 weeks for the system to adjust completely, so give it time to take effect. Most likely even if she is on meds she will have good and bad days but it will eleviate a lot what you are going through now!

What the doctors told us to do is NEVER NEVER argue (YOU WILL NOT WIN!!) but distract, change the subject.

Below is website with information about dementia it is for the people that have to deal with it (the care givers). The more you know better armed you are to deal with her. Since we tend to live a lot longer these days this is something that society has to learn accept as the "norm" not the exception!

The most important thing is to keep repeating over and over again is that she is ill and can't help herself.


Good luck and stay calm - you are not alone!
post #11 of 18
I hope things look up for you and your husband Sherral. Recently, I was working at an assisted living home with a special 'community' for the memory impaired. We had all of our dementia/alzheimer's residents on the third floor, and the only way down was via elevator that you had to have a password to get down.

There were a lot of really great people living on the third floor. There was this one black lady suffering from Alzheimers. Her name was Liz. My very first night working there (it was her first night moving in), she woke up at 3am (I was on nocturnal shift) and walked over to me and told me to get the **** outta her house and that I had better stop sleeping with her husband or she would come after me! Thankfully the place I was working trained us to deal with stuff like that so I was able to keep her calm and talk her back into her bed.

Any form of dementia is a heartbreaking disease for the entire family, and the person who is suffering from it. My prayers are with you guys.

Btw, Liz's husband had been dead for more than 10 years. She was a special lady, she lovved to dance and dress up. She also liked to find anything she could use as a weapon to 'protect' herself. She made that job very interesting, and opened my eyes to a lot of things.
post #12 of 18
It is possible the doctor is starting with a low dosage of the medication, and the dosage will need to be regulated to be fully effective.
post #13 of 18
I hope I hope I hope this works for you. There is NO WAY you should have to deal with harassing phone calls from her when it can be dealt with. When at first you said she was calling I thought that's odd, why would they allow that, but if she's not on a secure ward, she could use anybody's phone. I'm very glad you at the facility, it's not right for her to have access. Hopefully this medication works, many of them do.:flower:
post #14 of 18
I agree with Hellen and a few of the others. Its geriatric mental illness that is making her behave that way. Its sad, but dont let her make you mad or guilty feeling. Because even if you did come and get her and do all she wished...it would never be enough. It wouldent satisfy her or make her any happier. Only you more miserable.Hang in there Sherral.
post #15 of 18
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I have been there, and it seems that nothing you do is right, or will make you feel less guilty about not putting up with her crap any more. I took care of my s/o's grandmother, amd it was the most difficult thing I have ever done. She was suffering from senile dementia and a host of other things, and was literally dumped on my doorstep. She went from being a loved friend to a crazy old harpy, and it broke my heart. She attacked me with a kitchen knife, and I immediately had her taken to a hospital to be evaluated. Once they got her meds right, we were able to care for her at home for awhile, but eventually had to agree to put her in a nursing home. She passed away the day before she was to leave. Please don't feel like you are alone, and rant away any time you need to.
post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thank's everyone!!We will just wait, see intill the med's. start working. And go from there.But one thing will not change,she will not ever come back here to live.She will go back to the nursing home.
post #17 of 18
Don't feel guilty about that. You can take only so much, and it's very difficult for anyone to be around someone who has that kind of behavior. I'm sure you pray for her. It's heartbreaking that she has to go through all of this too. God bless you and the family.
post #18 of 18
I am so sorry to hear you are still having to go through this nightmare with your mother-in-law.....it is an awful lot for one person to handle!!!! My prayers are with you and with her, too.
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