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Why do men never listen?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
My dad wanted a storage shed for the backyard so he could put all his crap from the attic to the shed and from his room to the attic. I went along because we are turning his room into a guest room and putting pictures of my mom up in there.

He started out with one size and ended up with a size larger. I told him that it couldn't interfere with my plants or my pond. I come home and I think it looks totally stupid. Not only do some of my plants no longer get light, but it does take away from my pond and I can't even see my pond from one angle of the house. All I see is this stupid large BARN!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!! So this was me once I saw it. If my mom were here she would never let him do this. I also hate the fact that he wants all these things done to the yard, but he doesn't do ANYTHING in the yard. Everything that is back there is because of me!

WHY can't they just listen??? I am so unhappy I think my plants may suffer because I can't stand to go out there and look at that crappy piece of metal.
post #2 of 28
Can it be moved at all?
post #3 of 28
Oh dear.....I wouldn't be happy either.....

Did you dad move in with you?
post #4 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnzoLeya View Post
Oh dear.....I wouldn't be happy either.....

Did you dad move in with you?
No, I'm still at home but have done all the yard work in the back pretty much alone. My mom helped me some.
post #5 of 28
He doesn't listen --- because --- he's a MAN!!
post #6 of 28
Thread Starter 
Sometimes I think he only cares about what he wants. I really hate our yard now.
post #7 of 28
hmm because men are always right

lol ok that being said, i do understand why your upset.
But you know maybe its somethings he has wanted to do for a long time.
Let him have his way. Is it really worth fighting over?
post #8 of 28
He heard you, obviously didn't listen............... The only way you can expect them to listen and respond is if it has some relative effect on them/their life. Either out of pocket, out of personal comfort (both related), or out of inconvenience/convenience (also related)!
post #9 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
hmm because men are always right
It's more like they think they are always right, but aren't.
post #10 of 28
Maybe he was rebelling a bit? Maybe he was thinking, "Hey, it's my yard, I'll put up a barn if I want".
post #11 of 28
Paint it pink with flowers.
post #12 of 28
Hon, I've been wondering that for years.
post #13 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forensic View Post
Paint it pink with flowers.
I'm putting rose bushes all around, or at least most of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
Hon, I've been wondering that for years.
Makes me glad I'm not married. My dad gives me all the reason not to be.
post #14 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess15 View Post
Makes me glad I'm not married. My dad gives me all the reason not to be.
There are good sides to men too. Just not many.
post #15 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmycat1 View Post
There are good sides to men too. Just not many.
yea, and all of those vanish once they get married

nothing is wrong with getting married. All guys should have 2 or 3 ..

hehe by the way i am kidding
post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
yea, and all of those vanish once they get married

nothing is wrong with getting married. All guys should have 2 or 3 ..

hehe by the way i am kidding
Just don't want to marry anyone that aggravates me that much.
post #17 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
He doesn't listen --- because --- he's a MAN!!
I agree!
post #18 of 28
Aw Sabrina im sorry to hear that.

Is there no way he would help you? maybe you can dig up the plans and move them somewhere else?
post #19 of 28
It's his house, right? Then he can put up a barn or whatever he wants.... you can live with what he decides or find another place to live. The unfortunate price you have to pay when you aren't on your own.
post #20 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by neetanddave View Post
It's his house, right? Then he can put up a barn or whatever he wants.... you can live with what he decides or find another place to live. The unfortunate price you have to pay when you aren't on your own.
True, but he could be more considerate. It basically has pretty much ruined the yard. He's good at complaining, but not doing the work. He doesn't do much to begin with.
post #21 of 28
Try some trellises and vines to cover it up.
post #22 of 28
Hey snap some photos so i can see what the total effect is. It could be a blessing in disguise.

One of my clients had a storage shed erected on a corner of their back yard and I advised her of some potential things to do. For instance have compost bins behind building so they are out of site. Have a potting bech on one side of building so you have an area to work. Perhaps a pergola could be added to one side so you could do some plantings and have a seating area.
Perhaps one side cold frames could be built so you can have seedlings or an area to stash garden plant purchases?? Containers in the front??

You can do this before junk appears around the building!!
post #23 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess15 View Post
True, but he could be more considerate. It basically has pretty much ruined the yard. He's good at complaining, but not doing the work. He doesn't do much to begin with.

We'll just have to disagree then, I'd say him paying the bills since it's his house means he does a lot. It's probably not about him being stubborn and disregarding your opinion, it's just that it's his house and he really doesn't have to listen to anyone about what to do with it.
post #24 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GailC View Post
Hey snap some photos so i can see what the total effect is. It could be a blessing in disguise.

One of my clients had a storage shed erected on a corner of their back yard and I advised her of some potential things to do. For instance have compost bins behind building so they are out of site. Have a potting bech on one side of building so you have an area to work. Perhaps a pergola could be added to one side so you could do some plantings and have a seating area.
Perhaps one side cold frames could be built so you can have seedlings or an area to stash garden plant purchases?? Containers in the front??

You can do this before junk appears around the building!!
I will when I get a chance. The problem is one side gets no sun whatsoever and I know it will affect the plants that are now blocked by that monster. I'll try to take one tonight. I wish I had a before and after picture.
He doesn't care if I plant around it or cover it. I'll take any ideas you can give me. It looks stupid because it has to be 5ft from the fence so it looks like it is in the middle of no where. Then, if I do plant around it, it is so close to the pond flower bed and house flower bed I'm afraid I won't be able to get around it.

I need some ideas!


Quote:
Originally Posted by neetanddave View Post
We'll just have to disagree then, I'd say him paying the bills since it's his house means he does a lot. It's probably not about him being stubborn and disregarding your opinion, it's just that it's his house and he really doesn't have to listen to anyone about what to do with it.
I can see your point, but this is why I disagree.

He may pay the bills, but I pay my own. He also does not clean the house, cook, take care of the yard or take care of the cats. Even his own. I also balance the checkbook because he never could. Which is also suppose to be his responsibility.
post #25 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forensic View Post
Paint it pink with flowers.
love it. absolutly love it. do that.
post #26 of 28
I understand how unattractive those buildings can be... and I surely understand your concern about your flowers... but let me say three things:

1. This is Texas! It's going to be so bright and so hot all summer... the shaded area this shed creates can be a wonderful haven for "shady place" flowers! You can plant things there that would never survive out in the sun. Maybe you could even get ferns to grow there! (I just love ferns.)

2. I'm speculating here, but... for men, the yard is their traditional province, y'know? And a man under stress will often feel compelled to DO something to the yard -- the same way a woman under stress will buy new pillows for the sofa or color her hair. Suddenly taking an interest in the yard and being determined to do something out there... this might be your father's way of distracting himself from your mother's absence, y'know? That doesn't make it any less disruptive to your gardening plans, but it might be easier for you to accept it and be patient if that's the case.

3. What would be really, really great is if you and your dad could make a plan and work together on the yard... maybe even install a pretty bench with an arbor or something, a sundial, a birdbath... a little memorial to your mom. I have a feeling you would both be so much happier if you could cooperate on a project like that...
post #27 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
I understand how unattractive those buildings can be... and I surely understand your concern about your flowers... but let me say three things:

1. This is Texas! It's going to be so bright and so hot all summer... the shaded area this shed creates can be a wonderful haven for "shady place" flowers! You can plant things there that would never survive out in the sun. Maybe you could even get ferns to grow there! (I just love ferns.)

2. I'm speculating here, but... for men, the yard is their traditional province, y'know? And a man under stress will often feel compelled to DO something to the yard -- the same way a woman under stress will buy new pillows for the sofa or color her hair. Suddenly taking an interest in the yard and being determined to do something out there... this might be your father's way of distracting himself from your mother's absence, y'know? That doesn't make it any less disruptive to your gardening plans, but it might be easier for you to accept it and be patient if that's the case.

3. What would be really, really great is if you and your dad could make a plan and work together on the yard... maybe even install a pretty bench with an arbor or something, a sundial, a birdbath... a little memorial to your mom. I have a feeling you would both be so much happier if you could cooperate on a project like that...

I don't mind working with him, but at least appreciate what I have done! He always wants big! He doesn't even measure and that's what upsets me. He doesn't plan anything out. We can't do much until I finish the pond. I have a feeling I will be spending a lot of time out there fixing it.
post #28 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forensic View Post
Paint it pink with flowers.

What a GREAT answer!!
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