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Have fun at the Bridge Cooper - Page 2

post #31 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by xocats View Post
Grief comes in waves that can knock you to the ground.
After a wave passes, get up and take a deep life affirming breath.
Over time, the waves will become smaller, but they will always come.

Your tribute to Cooper was beautiful.
also, these changes in attitude/feelings are normal. regardless of who we've lost, we all go thru the stages of grief:
1. denial & isolation
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. depression
5. acceptance
post #32 of 52
I'm definitely not in denial because I know he's gone for good. I'm definitely in isolation though. Anger is new for today, even just tonight. It's full tilt rage that is truthfully the hardest to deal with. I want to honor his death by grieving not by having ghastly and ridiculous thoughts about payback for someone that doesn't even exist. IDK about bargaining. I keep telling myself that he couldn't have lived forever, so maybe that's partial bargaining. I have depression too. I don't think I knew what true depression was before this. I look forward to sleep; almost beg for it, and I've never done that before. I'm definitely not accepting this. I guess I've accepted he's not going to be around, but I'm not ok with it at all and probably never will be. At least that's what it feels like.

So basically I'm cycling through all the stages right now except the last. I just miss him. He didn't deserve this. He was so sweet and innocent and beautiful inside and out. Maybe I'm just mad that death is a part of life. It doesn't seem fair at all!
post #33 of 52
I'm so sorry, he was a beauty. I'm sure he knew how much you loved him and that you did what you could. I had my cat put to sleep a year ago and he's never out of my mind. but it will get easier. *hugs*
post #34 of 52
It sounds to me like you're having a pretty typical grief response to the loss of Cooper, who you clearly loved with your whole heart. Just hang in there and fight it out, and you'll be a better man for it when you emerge from tunnel.
post #35 of 52
I know you don't want to hear it but sometimes getting another kitty that needs you is the best thing you can do for yourself. I was so sick in Nov when we had to pts our 7 year old male. I loved him so much.....he was a friend. I was sick all weekend and lost 7-8 pounds in 3 days. I called in sick that Monday & Tuesday.....by Tuesday night we decided in order to heal we needed another kitty to move on. It was the best thing we could have done. Brady did not take Nomie's place but he filled a void for us. I don't think it's disrespectful at all. Everyone is different though so take your time if that is what you need to do. Cooper would approve no matter what you do.
post #36 of 52
it is heartbreaking reading your words. like many others here it reminds me of how i felt when i lost my boy last oct. i have questioned time and time again if i did the right thing in putting him to sleep, but i know deep in my heart i did. my boy was suffering and there was no way back.

i'm so very sorry that your beautiful boy was taken from you.

take care of yourself.

RIP dear cooper.
post #37 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by xocats View Post
Grief comes in waves that can knock you to the ground.
After a wave passes, get up and take a deep life affirming breath.
Over time, the waves will become smaller, but they will always come.
Mark and I discussed this a bit last night.......and sometimes those waves will seem to come from out of nowhere, whereas others you know what triggers them, a favorite toy, a favorite place to sit....something you did together. In the days and weeks to come, the waves do at least get smaller, and further apart, but they always will be there. As a matter of fact, I was sitting here writing this, and the thought crossed my mind of the first cat that I had pts, back in 1996....I don't think of her as much now, but still, sometimes.....

Just never, ever be ashamed of how you feel Mark, it only proves just how much you love your boy, and that is one of the greatest things that we as humans can ever do.
post #38 of 52
Oh Mark, what a lovely poem you wrote for Cooper. It was very touching.
post #39 of 52
Mark I am soo sorry about your loss
post #40 of 52
Thank-you again everyone. I'm just eternally grateful for the support I've received on this site and truly appreciate the ability to be able to get my feelings down. I think writing this stuff down these past few days has prevented me from making some irrational and frankly stupid decisions in my life as a result of simply not wanting to feel Cooper's loss so much. Tonight is going a bit better. I almost feel guilty I'm not laying in bed sobbing, but I have to remember that Cooper and I were happy and that's how he'd have wanted it to stay, even without being able to supervise me daily.

Also, Krazy I saw that you wrote me tonight and sorry I missed you. I was out for awhile and when I came home you had signed out already. I stay signed in even when I'm not around, so please don't think I was ignoring you at all. Tomorrow is Cooper's candle service, so no doubt I'll need someone to talk to. Take care everyone and have a good night.
post #41 of 52
Wow. It's been a year already. It absolutely doesn't seem like one. It seems like only yesterday my Coo-Bear was gorging himself on his favorite food(s) and jumping off the bed with enough force to knock hanging pictures off the walls in the living room haha (I guess ~38lbs of pure cat will do that when launched from a 3' high bed lol).

The bottom line is I grieved for that cat harder than I've ever grieved before. Everyone thinks their pet is special, but Cooper truly was. I've met tons of cats in my lifetime and owned a few as well, and none of them ever displayed the true affection for their owner like Cooper did. He was my companion through the hardest times of my life, and was simply my friend.

I'm not over losing him, and never will be, but the grief has lessened over the months and now I just want to remember him. It's hard though because I still tear up when I think about him and still can't watch the movies I have of him or look at pictures. I guess I just don't want that pain to come back. I haven't even opened the box his ashes are in yet. It just sits up on the mantel.

Those first few months after he passed I felt like the wind had been permanently knocked out of me. I became depressed and withdrew even more. I've never been good at loss, and this was monumental. I've lost grandparents and girlfriends and felt heartbreak before, but the sheer pain I felt from Cooper's passing was a whole level beyond anything I'd ever felt. I lost 10lbs grieving for him.

So I just wanted to check in and bump this thread on the 1st anniversary of my beloved Bear's crossing of the bridge. My heart is still heavy, and not a day goes by I don't remember him in some way or another. His impact on my life was as large as he was. The 38lb hole he punched in my heart when he died still hasn't closed, and I think never will.

For those of you who have just lost a pet; my heart goes out to you. Just know people do understand what you're feeling and that the time you had with your beloved animal is nothing but a gift. I've had to wade through my own grief with Cooper, but absolutely would go through it again 10 times over again as the ~8 years we had together were easily the best of my life. He was a king of kings; at least in my household, and when he died a piece of me died with him. It was worth it though. I'm just blessed that I was the one who got to own such an amazing animal. Not many people get the chance to own such a wonderful animal as he was.

I'm long-winded, sorry about the novel heh, but it takes that much writing to get out what I'm trying to say. I will always remember Cooper, and will always hurt from losing him, but when it's all boiled down; the bottom line is that his loss was inevitable and I'm just glad I was with him in his last moments and he didn't suffer and was comfortable as he drew his last breath. In the end that's all that matters. Death is part of life for all living creatures. Cherish the time you have because it's not forever.






Rest In Peace Cooper. I still can't believe you're gone my good friend. Gone, but never forgotten. I will remember you until the day I die. Then maybe we can be re-united for eternity, not in earthly form, but as the stardust from which we came. On that deep and complex level a human mind can't fathom. I look forward to our next meeting and hope you remember me too. I will of course bring your favorite food, and have some new stuff your brother loves that I think you'd love as well. I wish we'd have had more time together, but I understand you had to go. I just miss you a ton. It's as simple as that.
post #42 of 52
I was deeply touched by your one year anniversary remembrance.

Until you are together again ...
your beloved remains with you in your heart....
Cooper
post #43 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by xocats View Post
I was deeply touched by your one year anniversary remembrance.

Until you are together again ...
your beloved remains with you in your heart....
Cooper
Thank-you very much. I figured instead of trying to occupy myself all day so I wouldn't feel the pain of thinking about him; I would do the opposite and honor him by remembering him and writing about him. Usually I just think about him and then try and push it out of my mind asap so I don't get overwhelmed and tear up a bit, but today is about him, so here I am writing about him.

Cooper was always big. Never super obese like you see with the cats that have guts that drag on the ground. It was really his length (3'4" from snout to base of tail and well over 4' including his enormous tail. The base of his tail alone is noteworthy as it was thick as a fist.) that allowed his frame to pack on all the muscle and fat that made up the 38lb mountain of a cat he was.

Anyway, later in his life it ended up being just Cooper, his only littermate/brother Sampson, and me living together. Needless to say he garnered the majority of my affection and was treated like royalty. I'm talking pearly clean litter box, (I remember sometimes waiting for him, outside the room of course for privacy, to get done so I could immediately scoop out his waste) clean dish every time he ate, brushed out his coat every day, and whatever else he wanted. All this coddling made him pack on the final few lbs that got him to 38. He was still very agile and could run and jump fairly far. He was extremely muscular while being fat at the same time. Just like a football center lineman. Seeing him fully airborn was an impressive site and the resulting thud from his landing was equally impressive haha.




Well before I go on forever about this awesome cat; I'll get to what I was meaning to discuss; nothing earth shattering or something like that, but a simple thing that is burned into my brain forever.

So it was later in his life and he'd reached his full weight. His head was HUGE! He was a loyal companion animal and slept with me every night, no exceptions. Anyway, one day I woke up and somehow he'd slept in a way that had brushed the fur on his face outward. I swear to you that with the hair brushed out his face was a good 10" wide; as wide as a human's face. I woke up and he stuck that massive face right in mine and it shocked me for a second, but then my freshly woken eyes adjusted and I saw it was just Coo-Bear waiting for me to get up and feed him.

It was the single most cute and heart melting face I'd ever seen on a cat. I mean the mug of a fat Russian Blue can already melt the hardest of hearts, but this "blown out" look coupled with his abnormally large green eyes increased his cuteness times 100. I just remember exclaiming something ridiculous along the lines of, "OMG look at that kitty face!" and from then on I always called him kitty face when he would get his grill right up in mine. So it really is the small things that one remembers when someone special to them is gone. I will cherish that memory of him and others (like when I found him playing chicken with his brother on an 8' tall fence) for the rest of my life.
post #44 of 52
beautiful tributes for a beautiful boy.
you'll never stop missing him - i haven't stopped missing Mouse [3 years this past december ] but the pain will grow duller w/time.
post #45 of 52
I'm so sorry to hear about, Cooper.

Extra hugs for you at this hard time and I'm sorry I couldn't be here to give you a a year ago!
post #46 of 52
I'm so sorry in the lost of your sweet boy. I read the thread you had about Cooper and it broke my heart. You did everything you could for him and he thanks you. What a wonderful daddy you were to him. I know what it feels like to lose a pet. Its the toughest thing in the world. You will be in my prayers.
post #47 of 52
These "anniversaries" are never easy. No matter how long its been, they still hit hard and you never stop missing them.

Thinking of you and Cooper
post #48 of 52
I think of Cooper whenever we have a big guy at the shelter. Right now we have a big tabby everyone loves, named Rascal. I wonder if he'll end up being another permanent addition at the shelter; he doesn't show well, but everyone just dotes on him, even letting him out of his cage to wander around.
post #49 of 52
I am so sorry for your loss of Cooper. When an animal that special comes into your life, the loss is devastating. Your tribute to him shows what a special friend he was.
post #50 of 52
Your anniversary tribute to big boy Cooper was just incredibly touching, I'm here tearing up at work. Good thing there's no one around. I've got nothing new to say... But let me offer you a hug and many condolences. Cooper sounds like a truly special boy, and he will always, always have a place in your heart.

Rest in Peace, Cooper. Watch over your loving daddy from over the Rainbow Bridge, won't you?
post #51 of 52
Thank-you folks for the heartfelt condolences. After he first passed on I thought the immense pain I'd felt from losing such a dear friend was too overwhelming to endure, so I resolved myself to take care of Sampson until he died and then NO MORE CATS! Now, of course, time has passed and the pain has dulled to a tolerable level. It helped me realize what I already knew; that owning a pet and suffering their loss is all part of the deal, but in the end it's entirely worth it. I am just so grateful that Cooper was mine and that I got to spend his life with him.

I now know that the rest of my life will be full of joy and pain and many more cats. Cooper will always remain closest to my heart. It is impossible to portray how exceptional he truly was with mere words, but all that really matters is that him and I shared the most beautiful years of our lives together. I find that this site is really the only place people understand that concept. Everywhere else people just say things like, "he was just a cat; get over it," but really they're the ones that are missing out.

Haha Mr. Blanche; I'm so glad that you think of Cooper whenever there's a "big boned" kitty at the shelter. Knowing that there's somebody else far away that thinks about Cooper does my heart well. I think it's no secret that fat cats always garner the most attention. I'm sure glad that big boy you've got over there right now is getting some special treatment. Thank-you for the work you do every day to enrich the lives of animals that have nobody to give and receive love from. You are truly a kind soul.

Yeah I'm still having trouble deciding on what do do about getting another cat now vs waiting for Sampson to pass before getting another generation. I really loved owning a pair of brothers who were the only 2 kittens in the litter. Watching them together it was obvious they had an undeniable bond. I just don't want Sampson to have to go through any more hard times. He took the loss of Cooper very hard, and I don't know if adding another cat would be good for him. Then again, some days I feel that I can just see the boredom and loneliness in his eyes and mannerisms. I give him tons of affection, but I know he misses the companionship of another feline. I wish the guy could talk haha. That would make things way easier. Just tell me what you want and I'll do it lol!

Anyone have any insight about getting another cat in a similar situation as mine? Sampson is 9 years old, and I foresee him living a long long time. He is FIV negative and also a very solid 24lb (almost zero fat, the vet always comments on his muscles haha!) middle aged kitty who is a very active hunter/roamer that comes in at night (no exceptions!), so I think he'll live to the late teens God willing. I absolutely have room in this big empty house for another cat (or even 2 if they're littermates), but I don't want to stress out the current overlord Sampson.

Ok / novel haha. Get me started and I write till my keyboard smokes.
post #52 of 52
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooper38 View Post
Anyone have any insight about getting another cat in a similar situation as mine? Sampson is 9 years old, and I foresee him living a long long time. He is FIV negative and also a very solid 24lb (almost zero fat, the vet always comments on his muscles haha!) middle aged kitty who is a very active hunter/roamer that comes in at night (no exceptions!), so I think he'll live to the late teens God willing. I absolutely have room in this big empty house for another cat (or even 2 if they're littermates), but I don't want to stress out the current overlord Sampson.
well, this is my experience. in september of 2004, a kitten around 8 weeks old was found in the road in front of our school by some 2nd graders. i'm well-known as the school's resident 'cat lady', & their teacher brought the kitten to me. this was Cable. i took her home & introduced her [after vet visit, flea bath, etc.] to my 2 resident cats, littermates Pixel & Mouse, who were 7 years old at the time.
she tried their patience severely quite often, but hissing grew less & less.
in december that same year, Mouse grew sick & passed [12/28]. i was heartbroken, but very glad that Cable had come to live w/us. Pixel had never spent a night w/o Mouse until Mouse's sickness landed her @ the vet. thankfully, Cable was still there to keep her company, albeit occasionally annoying company
about 3 months later, i found the 2 of them snuggling together on the couch.
that spring, another kitten [3.5 months old] showed up in the parking lot @ school [Java]. of course, i took her home. this was the best thing - Cable had another young cat to play with, but still had Pixel to snuggle with. this also eased the relationship between Cable & Pixel.
based on this experience, i would recommend a pair of younger cats - maybe 3-4 years old, but could be even younger - to take into your home. it's quite possible neither will become a close companion to Sampson, but it would definitely ease his loneliness!
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