An issue my wife and I deal w/ the most is my time spent w/ friends. We moved 3 1/2 years ago from Greensboro, NC. We go up there maybe 2-3 times a year. That, of course, is where my friends are and it is always an issue on how much time I can get w/ them b/c we are visiting her parents (DRAMA everytime!) and w/ two kids.... it's hard to get out.
Her issue has always been w/ fairness (having to stay w/ the kids while I go out) and..... of course.... my past history w/ drugs. My friends never come down here to see me but her friends do. When her friends come, I always try to get her to go out while I watch the kids so she can spend quality time w/ them. I don't think it's wrong of me to expect the same. But it's hard b/c she is somewhat possessive. When I go up there, I only go out past 8:30pm, after the kids are asleep. So I will get one night for about 4 hours w/ my friends and that might happen 3 times in a year.
I feel that it is EXTREMELY important that both husband and wife get their own personal time w/ their friends and as long as they are responsible w/ the PT, then I see nothing wrong w/ it. Without time to one's self... it can mentally drive some of us insane
. By doing so, this will keep the relationship much stronger and as long as the trust is there, then an overnight stay is alright as long as they check in if that was part of the plan. So he was wrong for doing that. Also, w/ one car, like someone else posted... what if something happened??? That is not the best idea. He should have had a friend pick him up if there was any probability of him staying out overnight.
Sorry to get off topic a little but to sum it up....
Your husband staying out all night and spending time w/ his friends is fine as long as he doesn't do it all the time. Instead of saying I "might" not come home, I feel you two should discuss a schedule, perhaps, on "friend nights" and plan for him to be picked up. Whoever is watching the children should ALWAYS have the car if there is only one available. He is wrong for not calling and you should put him in the dog pin for 1-2 nights unless he has a convincing excuse for not calling... most likely not.