I am overwhelmed. A little background info in case it's needed. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We have a 4 year old, a 3 year old, and a 1 year old. I also watch 2 other kids in our home on weekdays. My husband is a manger of a retail store. He has a stressful job, he does not get a lot of weekends off so we are never really "free" together.
We only have one vehicle, which he needs to get to work and I can not drive him so I have it during the week because I have the extra kids. So I often feel stuck.
He loves to throw darts, it is a dream of his to be a pro someday, he is really good, but I feel like he does not have time for me and the kids.
I got Raven during a really hard time, I love her, I feel like the cats are the only things in the house that are not just take take take and give me some joy.
Our agreement has been that I get half of what I am paid every week for watching the 2 extra kids, that is my money to spend and not have to answer for and what I need for the cats comes out of that.
Before Christmas things got tight (and after, even tighter) and he said that I would not be able to have that half for a while, I said that was fine but I needed to be saving to get the cats fixed. (and continue to buy food and litter) He said that was fine and that he would pay for the cats being fixed when the time comes. So I have not argued or complained at all.
Now there is a ton of marriage stuff we need to work through. We love each other, I think niether of us is happy exactly the way things are. He is so stressed at work, our kids are really young (and demanding), I feel like he doesn't have (or want to make) time for us. I think he thinks that his only role is to work and he does not need to do anything else. I am far from perfect, I know that.
Anyway, now he is complaining that he has to "foot the bill" for the cats. He always does this, he needs that money, I understand and want the bills paid too, he still can always go throw darts, but he is mad that the cats have needs.
I love them, I love Raven, I love Jack. I also love my husband. It puts me in a rough spot. I would have the money saved if I could have been saving that half every week (at least for Raven who needs to be fixed first).
If I found them other homes I would just resent him for it. If I don't he wi8ll resent me for the money part of it. I love them, I love him.
What would you do?
Keeping in mind he is IMPOSSIBLE to talk too, he is right, I am wrong, he is the main breadwinner, he works, he needs breaks, I have a slower pace so I do not deserve breaks.
We only have one vehicle, which he needs to get to work and I can not drive him so I have it during the week because I have the extra kids. So I often feel stuck.
He loves to throw darts, it is a dream of his to be a pro someday, he is really good, but I feel like he does not have time for me and the kids.
I got Raven during a really hard time, I love her, I feel like the cats are the only things in the house that are not just take take take and give me some joy.
Our agreement has been that I get half of what I am paid every week for watching the 2 extra kids, that is my money to spend and not have to answer for and what I need for the cats comes out of that.
Before Christmas things got tight (and after, even tighter) and he said that I would not be able to have that half for a while, I said that was fine but I needed to be saving to get the cats fixed. (and continue to buy food and litter) He said that was fine and that he would pay for the cats being fixed when the time comes. So I have not argued or complained at all.
Now there is a ton of marriage stuff we need to work through. We love each other, I think niether of us is happy exactly the way things are. He is so stressed at work, our kids are really young (and demanding), I feel like he doesn't have (or want to make) time for us. I think he thinks that his only role is to work and he does not need to do anything else. I am far from perfect, I know that.
Anyway, now he is complaining that he has to "foot the bill" for the cats. He always does this, he needs that money, I understand and want the bills paid too, he still can always go throw darts, but he is mad that the cats have needs.
I love them, I love Raven, I love Jack. I also love my husband. It puts me in a rough spot. I would have the money saved if I could have been saving that half every week (at least for Raven who needs to be fixed first).
If I found them other homes I would just resent him for it. If I don't he wi8ll resent me for the money part of it. I love them, I love him.
What would you do?
Keeping in mind he is IMPOSSIBLE to talk too, he is right, I am wrong, he is the main breadwinner, he works, he needs breaks, I have a slower pace so I do not deserve breaks.