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My adventure with the IT Helpdesk...

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
My work PC died a horrible death today. It went out with a slight pop and a puff of smoke, so I had to call and request a new one. Here's how it went.

:::::dialing the Helpdesk::::::

Autovoice: THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE IT HELP DESK!

Me: Good GOD! (I turn down the volume on my phone)

Autovoice: Please input your employee ID located on the home page.

Me: I hit zero. (I have no access to the home page. My computer died)

Autovoice: Please do not hit zero. We need your employee ID.

Me: I dial in all fives.

Autovoice: Thank you.

Cue hold music....

Autovoice: Did you know the IT Helpdesk took over 30000 calls last month? We logged over 20000 tickets.

Cue more hold music...

Autovoice: Did you know that you can send us an e-mail with your inquiry. We'll get back to you in under two hours with an answer to your quesiton.

Me: If my computer wasn't dieing a slow death I'd be able to do that.

Autovoice: Did you know that our turn around time on your ticket will be under three hours?

:::::Phone rings:::: ::::::IT person answers:::::

IT: So, what seems to be the problem?

Me: My computer made a popping noise, gave up a puff of smoke, and died. I need a new one. I saw a guy with a cart, can I just flag him down and take one?

IT: No. He NEEDS those computers.

Me: All eight of them? That's a bit selfish don't you think?

IT: No.

Me: Fine. How long will it take?

IT: An hour.

Me: But Mr. Computer Cart Man is in my wing. Can't he just hook one up?

IT: No.

Me: Right. I forgot. He NEEDS them.

:::::an hour later::::

Mr. Computer Cart Man: Oh, I was right by here when you put in the call. You should have flagged me down.
post #2 of 22
that would of really annoyed me!
post #3 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax View Post
that would of really annoyed me!
My favorite part is where the Autovoice tried to guilt me into not making the call by telling me that they were really busy. I don't need that kind of stuff from a machine.
post #4 of 22
You know what my dad calls a helpdesk? The helpLESS desk

you think your puter got a hairball?
post #5 of 22
you want my computers!!!!! No way.
i will need a down payment. DNA sample. and 2% of each paycheck for rent.

lol really skip the guy on the phone, and ask the guy with comptuers lol.
I hate those voice things,and imput stuff before you even talk to real person.
i want a person not a dang machine
post #6 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277 View Post
You know what my dad calls a helpdesk? The helpLESS desk

you think your puter got a hairball?
Actually I do. Our work PC's are never cleaned, and they end up getting all this dust and stuff in it. If it were our home PC it would run a lot better.
post #7 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
you want my computers!!!!! No way.
i will need a down payment. DNA sample. and 2% of each paycheck for rent.

lol really skip the guy on the phone, and ask the guy with comptuers lol.
I hate those voice things,and imput stuff before you even talk to real person.
i want a person not a dang machine
No kidding. You should see what I have to do to get them to fix my printer. It always involves cookies, coffee, and lunch.
post #8 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
My favorite part is where the Autovoice tried to guilt me into not making the call by telling me that they were really busy. I don't need that kind of stuff from a machine.
yeh, your right!
post #9 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
:::::an hour later::::

Mr. Computer Cart Man: Oh, I was right by here when you put in the call. You should have flagged me down.

That's classic
post #10 of 22
Okay, I have worked on the other side of computer support for very large systems. I was the "buck stops here" person. So I did provide support for system over $100,000. It didn't matter. I would tell the person who called what to do to fix the problem. They told me that wasn't the problem even though I knew how to fix it. I sometimes got off the phone (didn't hang up) wondering why the person did not listen. One day, I answered 100+ calls.
I also worked as an Account Manager for 2 "beta" customers in NYC and I live in CA. I went to NYC every week for 9 months. The software was really not ready for general use. The 2 customers told me that I wasn't on their side. The prograrmers at my company told me I was taking the customers' side too much. I travelled so much that when our daughter's 5th birthday rolled around I realized I missed year 4.
So, there are dedicated persons on the other end of the line. The first thing we had to do is answer the customer calls from customers who left a message.
Anyway that is my take on the problem.
post #11 of 22
Typical - the right hand never knows what the left is doing.... Good story to tell though!
post #12 of 22
too funny i would have been cursing at the voice recording
post #13 of 22
Your humor astounds me That was hilarious.
post #14 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
you want my computers!!!!! No way.
i will need a down payment. DNA sample. and 2% of each paycheck for rent.

lol really skip the guy on the phone, and ask the guy with comptuers lol.
I hate those voice things,and imput stuff before you even talk to real person.
i want a person not a dang machine
That reminds me.....gotta call one of those things again tomorrow......
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
No kidding. You should see what I have to do to get them to fix my printer. It always involves cookies, coffee, and lunch.
Oh we used to bribe the IT guys with food at my last job! My Mom would cook a whole fancy meal!!!
post #15 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
:::::an hour later::::

Mr. Computer Cart Man: Oh, I was right by here when you put in the call. You should have flagged me down.
We use to love messing with people.

They just don't want anyone dictating how they run their shop.
post #16 of 22
That was so funny, I had a chuckle all the way through.
post #17 of 22
Wow, you can get a new computer in less than a day? It takes us 3 days or more (depending on the shipper) and then we have to image it ourselves (provided they remembered to send us the image disk).

I had a similar problem with an automated system when I had to expedite getting a corporate card. I called the 1-800 number and the first thing it asks me is to put in the card number. Excuse me, but I don't have a card number because I don't have the card yet. It also wouldn't take zero. When I finally put in a random number, the operator answering first told me that I had an invalid account number

And unfortunately, I can't complain too loudly about automated systems because they help pay my salary (my company sells automated systems ).
post #18 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by katachtig View Post
Wow, you can get a new computer in less than a day? It takes us 3 days or more (depending on the shipper) and then we have to image it ourselves (provided they remembered to send us the image disk).

I had a similar problem with an automated system when I had to expedite getting a corporate card. I called the 1-800 number and the first thing it asks me is to put in the card number. Excuse me, but I don't have a card number because I don't have the card yet. It also wouldn't take zero. When I finally put in a random number, the operator answering first told me that I had an invalid account number

And unfortunately, I can't complain too loudly about automated systems because they help pay my salary (my company sells automated systems ).

I work for a really big insurance company so we have computers on hand.

SOOOO.... you SELL automated systems? That's a weird/neat job.
post #19 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
I work for a really big insurance company so we have computers on hand.

SOOOO.... you SELL automated systems? That's a weird/neat job.
I'm not in sales but I maintain the sales tool to configure them. Speech recognition is a fascinating subject, I've found. I did some reading to understand some products we include with the system.
post #20 of 22
I wish they hadn't found a way to do the voice recognition. I HATE calling the UPS number because you cannot just enter their stupid answers on the phone (1 for yes, 2 for no) you HAVE to say them. Nothing like talking to a stupid machine, who they tried really hard to make not sound like a machine ("OK, I have XXXXX as your account number. Is this correct?). It's still a machine and I can go a lot faster if I can just push the darn number that you don't have to confirm everything twice to make sure you understand what I'm saying.
post #21 of 22
Ooooh, its the WORST when you can't press 0
post #22 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by katachtig View Post
Wow, you can get a new computer in less than a day? It takes us 3 days or more (depending on the shipper) and then we have to image it ourselves (provided they remembered to send us the image disk).
At my last job we were tickled when it took under 6 months to get new computers!!! Once we had 3 people using 1 computer to do paperwork! Oh and this one time it was like 10 months or so since we'd been told a laptop was ordered for us. So we finally got really worried about it. A little phone work then revealed our laptop was given to someone at our other office. So you know they had to put another order in.... I dont know the end of that story though because shortly after that they laid me off.
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