Originally Posted by EnzoLeya
My step dad is the only one I blame in this whole ordeal.
That's part of getting past it though, is letting go of blame.
It's really good that you don't harbor any resentment towards her. That's probably half the battle, is getting through any jealousy you may have held towards her, personally.
It is messed up that he actually said that though, and really your mother probably could have taken a more proactive role in that specific situation by making it a rule that you both get treated equally, but individually. I'm sure you have different interests than her and what may be god's gift to her, may not be so interesting to you. As odd as it may be for a female, I'd rather have new tools (think power drill) than a sewing machine, as one somewhat dramatic example.
I don't know where you are in life, but maybe you could consider staying on campus for college at the earliest opportunity? Just as one suggestion. Getting away from the situation and allowing it to be "put on the shelf" for awhile is sometimes good. I had to do this. I was in no way ready to deal with my issues, and issues with my dad and his wife when I was 18, so I moved out. This allowed the whole ordeal to chill, and when we were all ready earlier this year, we got together and just talked. It gave me time to work through my own problems, and gave them time to work through theirs.
Write it all out some time. It's a healthier way to deal with the anger and frustration you're probably feeling. Every little thing that you can remember that ever p'd you off or made you angry, write about it - BUT also write about everything you can remember that made you happy, too. If you have medical insurance through work that covers psychological counseling or if your college has a counselor on staff, consider going just to talk. It helped me alot.
Really it boils down to a feeling of inadequacy on your step-father's part, I would hazard to guess. He feels like, after he divorced his wife, he has to buy the love of his daughter. Both of my parents went through this to an extent after the divorce - They would try to one up eachother around the holidays and my birthday. I put a stop to that around my 15th birthday by refusing to open any presents either one of them got for me for that birthday and christmas. I didn't want any of it and I didn't want part of their game.
Just keep in mind that you can't force someone to change. But you are allowed to feel the way you do, as long as you don't allow it to get out of hand.