Originally Posted by Natalie_ca
I don't get what is to be afraid of or what you need to think about.
A guy you are dating slept with someone else. The only reason he told you is because you caught him. He's a liar and a sneek and if you think he won't do it again with someone else, you are deluding yourself.
Him getting a job somewhere else will not help. All of the trust you had for him is gone and you will be forever suspicious of what he is doing when he isn't with you.
As Natalie said, the only reason he told you at all, is b/c you caught him! Do you think he would have told you on his own if you wouldn't
have caught him?? I think that's pretty scary myself, knowing that the only reason you do know is b/c you caught him. How do you know what else he has lied to you about??
Getting another job won't matter: there will always be other girls at other jobs who may tempt him. And, as you've already said yourself, the trust is gone: that's no basis to have a relationship on...
He's 31 years old: if he's not "grown up" by now, chances are, he never will be. My last boyfrind, who cheated on me (more than once) was in his forties: at that age, you would think he'd be mature by then, and know better than to cheat. He had more "excuses" as to why he did it, than a rat who has rabies. I heard all the "I love you, but..." BS, too, and that's all it was - total BS. He didn't love or respect me; if he did, he wouldn't have done it. The only person HE was in love with was himself
. He was a cheater, and a liar, and an abuser: he only cared about himself, and everything he did was for his own selfish gain. He didn't care who
he hurt, as long as he got what he wanted. People who DO care do not lie, or cheat, or hurt others. Your boyfriend knew that what he was doing was wrong, or else he wouldn't have lied about it...
If you give him another chance, he's gonna do it again - that's almost guarantee..
What are you afraid of? Being alone?? If you are, I can tell you right now that being alone is a thousand times better than being w/ someone who will, in all probability, hurt you again & again & again. Loneliness is better than misery: take it from someone who knows.
You deserve better than someone who took something that's supposed to be a special bond between two people, and turned it into something cheap...