Loosing patience with my kitten

I'm on the oposite end of the relationship you're describing! Im the wife who wanted a cat with a husband who isnt convinced. He moaned and got aggrevated with our kitten for a year until I finally ignored him and got a second kitten. It sounds crazy but they spend SO much time chasing each other around and playing with toys, its made our lives a whole lot easier. Our older cat used to meow constantly for attention, scratch things, chew wires, wake us up at 2am. Its hard for a house cat to burn their energy. Seriously consider getting a second kitten. They tire each other out and save your sanity Plus your girlfriend will think you're awesome for letting her have 2 cats!!

My vet also highly recommended getting him declawed after a few months. I stated that ALOT of people have issues with that and cats seem not to fair well. He shrugged and said it makes cats more "homely" especially aggressive ones. He said people are 50/50 on the issue. My girlfriend had both clawed and declawed cats and she said had good luck with declawed cuts. Im not sure after reading all the horror stories on the web about it.

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Wow, you do need to get a new vet. I've met plenty of declawed cats that were more aggressive than non declaws. This guy's just out to make a buck. My vet is strongly against declaws.

I don't want to put you off your kitty, but I would have suggested that your first cat be an adult. Kittens are insane, really. They'll be like that until they're nearly two, though some calm down a little earlier.

If you have the space, I second getting another cat. Consider getting one that's young enough to play with the current one, but old enough to teach the kitten some manners. Cats do learn from each other, and a slightly older cat will correct bad manners with a swipe of the paw. If you decide to keep the kitten, you're looking for a cat around 2-3 years old, active, playful, and well mannered. (Where well mannered is plays well with others, sleeps through the night, and has good litterbox manners.)

For future reference on picking out a cat:
Find a local shelter that will help you pick a cat for your lifestyle. Most no-kill shelters are good at helping match cats. The cats spend more time a the shelter, so the shelter workers know them really well. In many cases, they are living in foster homes. We got our second cat this way, and the foster mom helped us pick just the right cat for us and our first cat. I highly suggest doing this. If you just go down to Petsmart and get another kitten, you might have even more problems.

If you can't get another cat...
I'd try working with this cat for a little while longer. Try out the suggestions. You'll have to decide for yourself whether you're ready for up to 2 years of kitten crazy though. If not, please try and rehome the kitten, and find yourself a calm, elderly cat through the local shelter. Every cat is different, so you might find a younger cat that suits you too. The problem I have with kittens is that you don't know their personality yet, so if you're fairly finicky (I am), then it's best to get a cat that's older.

Well I'm in the same basic boat as the OP. I grew up an only child and without pets. It was only after I met my current girlfriend (a longtime pet lover) that I begain thinking of getting a cat. I too gave it a bunch of thought, and decided to go for it. I think I will enjoy it. I hope I will enjoy it. But until I go through it, I can't say for sure.

I'm slightly behind your schedule as I haven't had my cats arrive yet. I've been looking for a while and found a litter that was irrestible. I went to their foster home and met them all. Then last week I the few I narrowed it down to came to my house while the home inspection took place. I had a great time both visits. Now I've selected two and wait until their old enough to be adopted (they're about 9 weeks old now).

I'd suspect a few things given your post and my research. One, the kitten really could use a buddy. It will not only divert some of his energy away from you, but ideally it will also help him learn to be a cat. Since it appears he's so young, he probably didn't learn everything from mom he should have. And having a second cat around can help foster that learning process. It may seem crazy to have a second when the first is so questionable, but I think it would help a bunch. Second, if you're having litter box problems, I might confine the cat to a limited space with his box, food, etc... He should get used to it, and learn to use it. Or maybe it's just the stress of a new environment. That should pass quickly. But I'd give it a little time before making any big decisions.

In a few weeks I'll be in the same position you are, and we can form a support group for our new cat problems.

Not sure about the 2 cat thing, 1 is crazy enough plus my apartment aint huge so having multiple litter boxes sounds kinda gross. I decided to remove the upstairs bathroom one after last nights mess. Shadow has no issues going up and down the stairs and lord knows he has the energy for it.

I guess the other issue I failed to mention is that my girlfriend is gone a good portion of the time on her archaeology digs, so i've been stuck with him alone in the house. Luckily she will be back for a few months on leave this winter so it will be nice to have a second person entertain him

BTW He's seems to react to my "hissing" tests.

I have 2 cats and 1 litter box. Id never read that 2 cats needed 2 litterboxes, so I just never thought to do it. Its not necessary in my opinion so long as you clean it when its dirty. I argued with my husband about getting a second cat for a whole year because his opinion was '1 cat drives me crazy, 2 will drive me crazier'. We've had our new kitten 2 months now and he agrees we should have done it a year ago!! We're a much happier family all round now x

I would put the second litterbox back. It is a lot to ask of a young kitten to move between floors to go to the toilet. They can't hold it in long and can easily have accidents then.

I don't know what mess you had last night but usually taking a litterbox away if you're having litterbox problems is not a good idea. You want to make it as easy as possible for the cat to go to the toilet in an acceptable area, i.e not on the floor or in your bed.

I think that if you manage to adjust to having a cat you'll really appreciate him when your girlfriend is away. It is really nice to have someone at home you can talk to that appreciates you being there and wants to be around you.

I live alone and my cat has made a huge improvement in my quality of life. The only mistake I did really is not getting two and now my cat can't stand other cats and it's too late for me. Nikita is a female cat though and they're usually a lot harder to introduce new cats to once they're not kittens anymore.

Having a single cat is by no means bad and I really enjoy the relationship I have with Nikita. Having two (that get along) just means that you're not the only social outlet for the cat so the pressure on you to be everything to your cat is less.

Well, I don't think you can stop him from being a kitten. What you CAN do, I think, is try to change your attitude and appreciate all the hilarity and wackiness a kitten brings into your life. As everyone has said, they calm down as they age. But to expect too much from him now would be like a child having a very austere parent who refuses to let them play. You wouldn't expect a toddler to sit through a concert symphony.

It's more up to you to "kitten-proof" things than it is up to him to stay out of them.

I once fostered a very young kitten. One of his favorite things was to sit on my head while I was working, which would crack me up every time. I thought at the time that if everyone could have a kitten sit on their head, antidepressants would be obsolete.

So I say, surrender to the kitten!!! Accept that you're kind of an "odd couple" at the moment and find the joy in it. If you really believe you can't love him through his kittenhood then please find someone who will. He has a right to be a kitten, just as you were once a baby.

And please don't declaw him! Especially since you got him so young, it will easy to get him to accept nail-clipping on a regular basis.

PS. I'm a big believer in more than one cat. It absolves you of having to play with them relentlessly. What about adding a slightly more mature cat - say one or two years old? They'll still have plenty of play in them for the kitten, but won't be as much work for you.

Hi.

I've not read everything because, frankly, I don't want to get wrapped up in the declaw/don't declaw argument. I have my feelings on it (and they happen to correspond with the thoughts of TCS), but it's just not something I want to get wrapped up in. I'm sure you'll understand. I just hope I don't repeat anything that's already been said (at least not too much!).

First of all, I have a few questions that might make it easier for you to get the answers that you need.

1. Why did you choose to get a kitten instead of an adult cat? Note that I'm not making accusations here at all -- we obtained Whisper at 9 weeks old ourselves. However, an answer here might help us to help you.

2. (Personal, sorry) Do you live with your girlfriend or do you live separately?

3. What do you know of the kitten from the rescue that was adopting out of Petsmart? Do you know how old s/he was when separated from mom? This can make a *huge* difference!

4. What kind of litterbox and litter are you using?

5. What are you feeding your kitten?

6. What kinds of non-human stimulation (toys?) does your kitten have to keep him/her occupied?

1 To experience having a cat from kitten to full grown up

2. We currently live together

3. Kitten was from a humane society from another town about 60 miles away, I have records and pictures of mom, litter mates and immunizations and nuetering

4. Upstairs and downstairs standard litterbox with Arm&Hammer ultra clump and odor reducing clay litter. Took to it right away, just still learning now how to "step" into his own poo, so amazingly, no accidents on the carpet.

5. Currently feeding Purina Kitten chow as thats what he ate at Petsmart. Currently researching into the whole dry vs wet food debate to upgrade him to. Starting to feed him Nutro wet Kitten packaged food at evenings.

6. Have variety of jingle balls, fleece mice, paper balls and cardboard scratch pad with cat nip.


Went to a cat only vet place in my town called Cats on Broadway. Assistant their was very nice and helpful with my questions and concerns. Gonna have a second opinion check up on him on friday with this vet as im not very happy with the vet my parents recommend

They recommend and sell Royal Canin food as well as Science Diet sometimes. I asked her in regards to the whole "wet vs dry" food debate and she stated they usually recommend wet food as "treat" while dry helps keep their teeth clean. Again, this was the front assistant, haven't spoken with the vet herself yet.

Royal Canin is pretty decent, but I'd definitely steer clear of any Science Diet foods. Sharky has posted a lot of threads on food qualities and choices.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Good for you!

It's always a big change to go from being independent to having something depending on you. It can seem like an overwhelming responsibility. But cats like their independence too. Having litter boxes he can easily get to and having water out all the time will let him take care of his needs without involving you, and this only gets better.

Two cats are actually easier than one. If only more people knew this! They play together, they consult on figuring you out, and they each take different responsibilities around the house, from monitoring the food dish to keeping track of your comings and goings. I think it's fascinating.

Right now you are the only social outlet the kitten has. Of course he's going to turn to you when he's lonely. If you decide to commit to this kitten, I think another kitten or cat would make things easier.

I would also consider your Significant Other's desires in this matter. I'm sure, being a person who likes pets, she wouldn't want to live without them forever, especially since neither of you are interested in children. So this is an investment in your future relationship. Don't create a difficult emotional situation without giving it your best.

The only thing you can do with kittens sometimes... is laugh. They are little nutballs, and that's what makes them so enjoyable.

I just have to share my experience with declawing; declawed cats turn in up in the shelter far out of their numerical proportion in the population. That's because I've never seen a cat react well to this crippling operation. It invariably has a negative effect on their attitude, their temperament, and their behavior. I would tell the vet to stick his money grubbing platitudes about "hominess" where the sun doesn't shine.

But that's just me.

I don't want to sound terrible by saying this, but original poster seems like somebody who is too set in ways to ever accept or enjoy a pet. (this is why you doesn't want kids too I guess) I am so sorry to hear stories where people get a pet then get aggravated with what is just very normal pet behavior and want to get rid of it. Consider the positive, that the kitten will grow up and become boring and slow, and that cats are much less maitenance than kids or dogs. Please give him another chance and try not to expect too much or pick too much, and I'm sure your girlfriend will know how to deal with him.

I can relate completely to the OP.

My husband and I decided 2 weeks ago to take on a stray kitten our friends from church found on their back porch. We had never discussed getting a cat, a puppy yes, children yes. I grew up in a dog only home (had some hamsters and fish) and he grew up in a home with an outside dog and never inside pets. I currently have 3 turtles but had never thought about adding another animal to our small townhouse.

Granted in the past year I have worked for a babysitting company where I go in multiple homes during the week. Many had cats and late at night they would come lay on the couch with me when the kids were in bed. I had only thought about getting one the week before our friends called.

I got married this summer and it was the first time I'd ever lived out of my parents house where we had a dog always. So after 3 months of living without a cuddly pet (turtles don't really cuddle) I couldn't stand it anymore.

Again Jack is here and he is about 12 weeks old. Although there are challenges both the husband and I love him to death. As I type he is laying on part of the keyboard of my laptop sound asleep.

He spent the first week contained to a small bathroom mainly due to fleas but by the end of four days he was consistent on the litter box. Now that he is exploring the house with supervision I couldn't imagine getting rid of him.

He bites wires, knocks everything off the coffee table and end tables, drinks out of our glasses, scratched my husband pretty good on the stomach, amongst many other things and I just laugh..

It's all you can do...have a sense of humor about it....

If you need uplifting thoughts PM me...I'm in the same boat

Leslie

Originally Posted by Freezebyte

1 To experience having a cat from kitten to full grown up

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In this then, you've clearly accepted the responsibility of owning a kitten.

Growing up with a kitten, particularly if it's your first cat or pet, can be a *very* rewarding experience, but nothing is ever going to fully prepare you for *having* a kitten. Nobody's ever going to be able to tell you about it -- you just have to experience it for yourself first hand.

2. We currently live together

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The reason that I asked was in relation to whether or not both you and the kitten have exposure to her cats. In both cases, it's a good thing that you do. It strikes me as a bit odd under the circumstances that the kitten is showing signs of loneliness, so...

2(a). How does the kitten and the older cats get along?

3. Kitten was from a humane society from another town about 60 miles away, I have records and pictures of mom, litter mates and immunizations and nuetering

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That alone isn't necessarily enough information to tell you very much. Certain things, like whether or not the kitten was born outside and has now been brought inside, or what kind of environment the kitten had before going to the shelter, can be *very* important if the information is available to you (and usually it's not, unfortunately).

If you *don't* have this information, no problem. Your best bet is to treat him as though he was born "feral" and give him all the patience and love that you can.

4. Upstairs and downstairs standard litterbox with Arm&Hammer ultra clump and odor reducing clay litter. Took to it right away, just still learning now how to "step" into his own poo, so amazingly, no accidents on the carpet.

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It sounds as though the kitten might not have been "taught" how to use the litterbox? The older cats should help to take care of this to some extent, and scooping more often will make a big difference. After baby comes I plan on scooping every time I pass one of our litterboxes.

If I understand correctly, that's two litterboxes. For how many cats? I think I missed how many your DGF has.

5. Currently feeding Purina Kitten chow as thats what he ate at Petsmart. Currently researching into the whole dry vs wet food debate to upgrade him to. Starting to feed him Nutro wet Kitten packaged food at evenings.

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No comments from the peanut gallery. I like Purina One, personally, and have had great success with it I'll leave this one to the others.

6. Have variety of jingle balls, fleece mice, paper balls and cardboard scratch pad with cat nip.

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Do you have any interactive toys? Some cats seem to do better with interactive toys and human interaction, while others are more independent. Reagan is a good example of a cat who plays *really* well by herself, but Whisper needs one of us to "help" him along.

The girlfriend has only been home for 3 days since I got him. She hasn't spent more time with the kitten then that due to her job.

No idea about getting along with other cats though he was in his cage with an old kitten getting along just fine when I got him. Beyond that, I have no idea in regards to his early life conditions

The adoption label indicated "litter box trained" and he knew how to use it right away, he's just still "learning" according to my girlfriend. He is the only cat in the house.

Elaborate on "interactive"

Interactive... Like "cat teasers" (the toys on a stick... I can try to find some pictures if you need me to). Basically any toy that you can use to play *with* him.

The early start that a kitten gets can have a huge influence on the cat he becomes. I'm realizing this more and more with our "senior" cat, Whisper. It's really tough when you don't have a lot of information, and it definitely takes more patience unfortunately.

Young kittens do sometimes have litterbox trouble. It takes them some time to learn how to use it, and as young as your vet said he is, he's still going to need some practice. Make sure that the spots he gets when he "misses" the box are cleaned up well so that he doesn't have any incentive to use them again (we use white vinegar and it works brilliantly, but if you want to go with an enzyme cleaner, I'm told that works well too).

As far as toys I wanted to put in my 2 cents.

My cats and my daughters favorite toy is a ball that has a bell in it tied to a string. My daughters love it cause it makes noise. My cats love it b/c it makes noise. My girls will take the string and drag it around the house and the cats will chase it and stalk it. I also take the string with the ball and throw the ball across the room, wait for the cats to go after it and then sling it across to the other side of the room. cats love it. I like doing it and it gets them tuckered out before bed. Simple toy. Cost was about 50 cents to make. Besides if someone rings the bell inside the ball the cats come running to start a play session almost every time.

Another toy of sorts that cats like is having a cardboard box that has an opening or two for them to go an play in. Or you can put multiple boxes together and make a little house for them to explore. You can often change the configuration of the boxes to have a 'new' toy for your cat.

One toy my cats will play with from time to time is a string attached to a doorway. I put a string that goes mostly to the floor attached on top of a door jam. It is off to one side so no one will brush it if they go through the doorway. the cats will spy it from time to time and go and jump at it and paw at it and just have a good time.

So I am in the camp the simpler and cheaper the toy the more fun the cats can have and more fun you can have with your cats.

I am also under the 2 kitten rule. I have 2 11 month old cats. They love to play with each other if they desire to. Sometimes they will play with each other and run through the house and not even bother to play with us, even though we are trying to play with them. Oh and we have only had the cats for less than 3 weeks at my house

Elaborate on "interactive"

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Some kittens and cats prefer to have a playmate in their play, such as a human or another cat. They can have a mountain of toys, but will play with whatever you are "playing" with because they love the interaction between live beings.

Congratulations on your new cat!

Originally Posted by Freezebyte

At times he can be so wonderful and cute, but other times his "cat" behavior just aggravates me. The fact of having cat poo and hair in my home is still something i'm trying to get used to. He's already had several "accidents" with the litter box and I had to clean it and him up and nearly vomited from the smell. Not a plus in my book.

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When a kitten first comes home, it's very normal to have diarreah. This is a LOT worse smelling than it would normally be, obviously. The diarreah comes from new food and stress of being in a new home. As far as the litter box goes, there is a great product called Cat Attract and it's made by Dr. Elsey. I really recommend it for a new kitten who is having litterbox issues. Also, it is very common for people to not scoop the litterbox enough. It really should be done 2x a day, 1x at the least. A cat isn't going to want to use a litterbox that is messy. The smell really shouldn't be as bad as you are describing. Also, what are you feeding the kitten? A good quality food (instead of something you can just pick up at the grocery store) can make all the difference in the world in terms of smell. Also, being as young as Shadow is, he probably didn't have a mom to teach him how to do certain cat things (the litter box, cleaning himself, etc.). When a mom is there for the kittens, you won't adopt them out until at least 12 weeks old....so the fact that he's younger makes me think that maybe he didn't learn everything? Kittens also get socialiation from littermates at that young age. I adopted Chloe recently at 11/12 weeks (we're not sure exactly) but she was found at 4 weeks in the street by her foster mom and no mom cat. The foster mom's cat showed Chloe how to use the litterbox and how to groom herself. I would also do more research on your litter options and litterbox options because there are so many these days compared to say, 10 years ago. Litter boxes don't have to be this ugly stinky thing. Not saying they are going to be a work of art...but there are many products to help incorporate them into your home. Litterbox covers (whicker ones), wooden benches that have a hole for the cat to go in on the side and the bench lifts up and the litterbox is in there, etc. I don't think anyone hates litter boxes more than I do but I would rather have an extra box or two than have to deal with a cat not using any of them. Kittens don't have the bladder control that adult cats have also.

Originally Posted by Freezebyte

His random "kitten bursts" of energy really annoy when im trying to work on the computer or play video games or just want some time out. He starts chewing on my wiring at random times which results in a severe water blast from my water bottle which he tends to ignore half the time. His constant mewing whenever im in the kitchen or even in a different room was cute at first, but now its just....aggravating. Im really dreading when he starts to claw/shred stuff even though I have a scratch pad on standbye.

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When I catch my cat trying to chew wires, I just pick them up and say NO. It works for me, it's worth trying. The hissing thing sounds like it's working for you, which is great! As far as the energy and attention needs, spend chunks of time during the day playing with him so that he will get tired out. My kitten (and I am willing to bet, all kittens) LOVE the feather teaser toys ("Da Bird"). They go CRAZY and you can really wear them out this way. Kittens just have a lot of energ and are curious little creatures. I say enjoy it now because as he gets older he will probably mellow out a LOT. I wish I had known my older cat as a kitten because now all she does is sleep and I wish I could play with her more or get her to do something.

I also recommend finding a new vet. Any vet that recommends declawing without even being asked about it is sketchy in my book.