Originally Posted by Tarasque
Yeah and thats not much help is it. Well this was a few years ago that i got my place so maybe its changed i dont know. But i remember now it was the Ministory of housing that payed the deposit and WAYSS that gave me the check for the 2 weeks advance rent. I dont have to give them any of the money back either. Its assumed that youll use it again if you need to move. Maybe look into Crisis housing to, cause it really sounds like you need to be out of there. Youll be much happier for it even if you will be broke.
Emma....I have read through ALL of these posts.(Sorry...this is a long response also.)
Check to see if you have a womans crisis shelter that you can stay at for awhile while you save up fro your own place (call local churches to see if they know of a place if you can`t find one one your own)Charlie will be FINE being an idoor only. He will adjust, so you do not need to worry about paying for an outdoor inclosure right now. If the shelter will not ley you bring Charlie then find SOMEONE who will care for him for a little while when you are at the shelter.
You ARE being abused.You NEED to get out of there. You can`t make your Mom go...but you can be an example to her. Maybe she will, if you will.
Your Dad is an abusing controller and he is probably NOT going to change.
It is his home, and you are an adult, so he "gets the say" (if you know what I mean)
When you are out of there , and not before then, you WILL BE ABLE to set boundries with him....or not see him if that`s what you desire. (Boundries would certainly include TELLING HIM that if he speaks or acts abusive to you when you are there that you will leave. (If he`s at your place, you will tell him to leave ......and if he does`nt that you`ll call the cops, then follow through with it.) If you are on the phone with him, and he talks in a disrespectful way, that he will get one warning from you to change his attitude immeadiatly...or he will hear the phone click in his ear....and when he calls back, if his attitude has`nt changed with an apology...then he`ll get the "click" again. You will HAVE to be 100% consistant with him to make him respect that when you are on your own, you have the RIGHT & THE POWER to demand him to respond to you in a positive way....or YOU WILL MAKE THE CHOICE TO HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP with him.
If you were 16 I would not be advising quite the same way. (Being a minor the only advise would be to get the police involved and find a foster home)
But you ARE an adult and will have to help yourself to get away.
I`m praying you can find some support for the initial move as you seek a way to totally support yourself and Charlie in the near furure. Until then you are under his power.
As for him....he`s a coward & and a JERK....and he needs to GET A JOB! (But you can`t make him....and it probably would`nt do a lot to change what he`s like....it just might make him tired enough that he would`nt have so much energy to be so mean to the people that he`s suppose to love and support!)
As long as you continue to stay there HE IS IN CONTROL....and you deserve to be FREE OF HIM and HAVE A LIFE!!!
Go for it Girl....and do whatever you have to to make this happen.
(This is only MY opinion....so of course you can just dismiss it if you like, or do different.....I`m not trying to control what decision you make.....but I am telling you how I see it...since you asked)
Praying for you, Emma...and for Charlie!