I'm so worried...

My daughter-in-law, Sam, called this morning. Mark has run out, on her and nobody knows why.

The first hint, that I had, was Christmas Day. Sam called, to ask if I had seen or heard from Mark. He hasn't been home, since Dec. 20. He showed up, here, that evening and told me that they were going to work it out. I talked to him, New Year's Day and he said that things were OK.

Sam says that there's some stuff, that she's leaving for him to tell me. I asked if he was on drugs, again and she said, "HE needs to talk to to you about that." I'm taking that as a "yes".

They've been evicted, from their rental and she's moved back to her parents' so, she'll be safe.

He's been doing, so well, for the past three years: working, clean and sober. I don't know if the prospect of being the father of twins is overwhelming him or, if he's just being a butthead. His father walked out, a week before Mark was born and I don't want to see history repeating itself.

Whatever happens, Sam has my support. She doesn't deserve this. She has another ultrasound scheduled, in two weeks and we should find out the sex of the second twin. She asked me to be there. I'm glad that she isn't blaming me, for Mark's misbehavior.

I'm worried about Mark. I don't want to see him messed up or dead. He's hanging out with his old druggie friends. I'm torn between telling him off and slapping him up along side of the head. He KNOWS what its like, growing up without a father. You'd think that he wouldn't want to do that, to his own kids.

Just when you think they're OK, these darned kids get themselves messed up, again. I just had to get this out.

Cindy,

I just don't know what to say, and anything I say will probably be really inadequate. So, I'm sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts, in hopes things work out well.

Christy

Cindy that just sucks for everyone involved. I hope that Mark figures out what's important - his WIFE and CHILDREN! - before they are born.

I'm sending my positive energy down to AZ in hopes that SOMETHING can get through to him.

I'm at a loss for words as well. What a tough situation for you to be in, Cindy. I hope that Mark gets in touch soon and let's you both know he's ok.

My heart goes out to Sam, but she is very lucky to have a mother in law who will stand by her all the way. I commend you for that Cindy. I hope that Mark will come to his senses and realises what is important, but Sam needs to focus on herself and having you with her all the way will be soooo important to her. Big hugs going your way from me and Sam, the twins, Mark and you are all in my thoughts!

Cindy,

So sorry to hear this. Drugs have a way of putting a hold on people that sometimes not even the strongest love can break. I wish you the best as you work through this.

Thanks, everyone. This is one of those times when, if I'd known 30 years ago, what I know now - I think I'd have had kittens, instead of kids. They don't give you nearly the grief, they're cheaper to feed and you don't have to buy shoes for them!

Cindy, I don't know what to say. Sending positive thoughts that Mark comes to his senses, soon. And positive energy to you and Sam as you deal with this.

Cindy....**HUGS** I wish we lived closer and I could come over and give you a big hug...I am so very sorry this has happened, and my thoughts and prayers are with you tonight, and with Sam. I am so glad she still feels she can turn to you for comfort and help! I hope Mark will realize what he is doing and will stop! Keep us posted, please!!!

Cindy, big hugs coming from my way too. What a confusing time for all of you. I think that as long as she has you for support, she'll be fine. I'm also glad she doesn't resent you for your son's problems, THAT shows maturity on her part. Now that boy will someday come around, but not until he hits rock bottom. She may not see him for some time and needs your unconditional love in this time of need.

TWINS! *sigh*

You're in my prayers, too.

I'm sorry to hear this.

Drugs have a strange way of altering people, perhaps he needs to get professional help now. I hope he finds the way back to his wife and twins before they enter this world.

Ah Cindy Mate I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time and Sam as well!!! Sending you lot's of positive thoughts that things will work out okay! I also don't know what to say other than we are all here for you mate.

I am so sorry to hear about this. My heart goes out to you and your family throughout this difficult time.

Marie

Cindy,
I hope everything will turn out ok for your son & Sam, and you! Maybe he just went somewhere to think things out?

I hope everything turns out okay, I know how worrying it is.

My uncle disappeared for a week, we were frantic with worry. He just had to clear his head and turned up safe and well.

Cindy

You are doing everything right. You know what is right and being nonjudgementaL with Sam. Your son, if involved with drugs needs to know you and his wife have bonderies. No matter what you say or do to him it is his journey. He will have to do what he has to do. Just like you, and everybody else on this planet. It is very common for anyone to fall off the wagon. Three years isnt much. They usualy speak of 5-10 years then you can actualy speak of being in recovery. Recovery is a life long issue, work it daileysometimes hourerly.
Learned behaviors can be tricky, yes he knows what it's like to be without a dad, as painful as it is. He may struggle with not knowing the modeling steps to be a dad. Example. You have seen people dance, but not sure of the exact steps to go along with it. Drug addiction has grabbed the person for various reasons. It dosnt have alot to do with you, it has more to do with your son's coping skills.
I hope you and your daugther inlaw look into a support group. like AA or alnon. Get the support so you wont buy into his unhealthy behavior. And understand that you are powerless over the drugs. He has to hit bottem before he can rise. Hard to see your kid do that but that is the painful reality of parenting.
As we say in program...Let go let God.


Thank you for trusting us, with your life. Always through safety nets. Speak to all no atter how painful or embarrising. You will always find support.

Patty

Cindy, you, Sam, Mark and the twins are all in my prayers. I hope that he can straighten out and be what those kids will need him to be!

Cindy -

I am so sorry to hear about what your son is doing. I am praying for you, Sam, your son, and their children. It is so great that you are standing by Sam right now. I hope Mark can break free of whatever is holding him back from being the husband, son, and father he needs to be.

Cindy, I've been so wrapped up in my own kitty problems lately that I'm just now catching up on everything else going on.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm keeping you all in my prayers.

It sure sounds like you have a wonderful daughter-in-law, and with your love and support and hers, when Mark comes home (I'm NOT saying "IF"!!!!) I'm sure that the love from both of you will help him get the help and support he needs to kick this problem. He did it before, he can do it again.

The problem is getting him home. The shame sometimes compounds the problem, as I'm sure you well know.

You poor, poor thing. You must be worried sick.

All I can offer is prayers and cyberhugs. You are a wonderful, wonderful woman, and we're here for you.




Laurie