Advice Wanted

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

I can't speak for Gail, but I suspect she did oversimplify her statement... not all conservatives fit the stereotype that I think she's speaking of.

As passionate as I am about my politics, I have nothing against sincere, thinking conservatives whose minds are open, and who are willing to debate an issue on the facts, with mutual respect. I've known two such people in my life, and I treasure them both.

Click to expand...

LOL....I would say I have nothing against sincere thinking people whose minds are open etc. Labels are limiting imo.

Originally Posted by theimp98

lol but you miss the point, Most far left liberals, place no value on humans
who do not agree with there points view

but really, why is this turning into a politics? its the lounge, if you want to talk that junk go to IMO

Click to expand...

er no...I didn't miss any point. I responded to a comment that shocked me enough to say something I feel strongly about. I don't particularly like the way things are expressed in imo section, so rarely go there. Now..returning this thread to its original topic..I'm out of here. I said what I had to say.

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

A thought, for what it's worth: on this board we have an "ignore" function -- perhaps they do on the other board too. If you find some value there, if the people who were asking after you are people you want to interact with, perhaps the ones you'd as soon do without you could put on ignore, and just not have to deal with them.

Click to expand...

lol yea ignore works,to bad its still leaves a message there saying you picked to ignore people.

I guess, just weigh it out how much enjoyment you get from the forum in general and how much grief. In my opinion, if a forum is a place for you to relax and not feel judged, then avoid forums that make you feel like you have to deal with others who want to oppose you without allowing you freedom of thought.

The beauty of internet relationships is that you can turn them on and off a little more easily than you can family or work relationships. So, if a forum is causing you stress, then walk away (as you did) because life in real time is too short and difficult as it is!

For the few members that you liked, send them a PM with your email or your new preferred forum so they can chat or see you there.

Good luck!

My opinion is different here but if I dropped a forum since they were negative, then I would drop them. Don't be lured back. Would you really be missing out on much if you dropped the forum all together? If so, what would you be missing? (rhetorical questions)

It is kind of like the relationship that is draining emotionally but occasionally peppered with good moments, and for some reason people stay for the few good moments. The good should outweigh the bad by far if you are getting rid of negative in your life. Just an opinion. Only you can make that decision as you know the specifics and you had time to think about things over your time away.

Originally Posted by sarahp

If there was a lot of negatives about being there, I wouldn't go back. Just because people are saying they liked your posts or the debates with you, doesn't necessarily mean you got anything out of them that was useful to you.

Maybe post once more to say you appreciate the thoughts, you are still alive, but you're no longer posting there.

Click to expand...

Yeah, that !

Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

Wow...through my life, as way out liberal to still doing my thing though others might find it conservative, I've always found value in almost any human I've met. I find this comment shocking...............................


er no...I didn't miss any point. I responded to a comment that shocked me enough to say something I feel strongly about. I don't particularly like the way things are expressed in imo section, so rarely go there. Now..returning this thread to its original topic..I'm out of here. I said what I had to say.

Click to expand...

I think my posting made it clear that there are some conservatives, on this site, that I prefer not to have interactions with.

The fact that you don't like the way things are expressed in the IMO, but had enough time to judge my comments as "shocking", speaks volumes.

Wow, first off you should feel honored that people are missing you, even if you didn't like them.

Depending on how negative the site was/is from your point of view, just remember that where ever you go there is going to ALWAYS be one rotten apple. Sometimes the title changes from person to person, but how we interact and handle that rotten apple helps us grow into a mentally mature adult and allows for us to deal with all things.

Remember too [if you do go back] that if someone attacks you ignore list or not YOU DON'T HAVE TO RESPOND to defend yourself. I often just give my monitor the finger and that's enough for me.

Bottomline is every forum will always have someone or something their not happy with.

If you feel comfortable on a site then you'll stay, if not then you leave. I left a forum before i found TCS, not because of the people, but because it wasn't moderated and it was inundated with trolls.

Theres new members registering everyday here so i imagine the forum your on will be the same?. If so theres some new friends already that you have

First - did you find the information and support in that site helpful - was it useful to you?

If yes, then maybe go back with the ignore function on. A few bad apples in a tree don't ruin all of the fruit there is. Just ignore the bad apples and take nourishment from the good.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

...YOU DON'T HAVE TO RESPOND to defend yourself. I often just give my monitor the finger and that's enough for me.

Click to expand...

LOL, this made me laugh!

This is so true:
You can please some of the people, some of the time, but -you can't please all of the people, all of the time!

You're right, he did say FAR-LEFT liberals, and I missed that... but it's still a generalization presented as if it were fact. It would be so much easier to have a good discussion if we didn't do that.

And having no respect for ANY group is not a function of either liberal OR conservative -- it's just a bad characteristic that some people have.

Pat & Alix -- conservative is a label these people apply to themselves, so I don't feel I'm insulting them by using it to clarify who I'm talking about. Actually, I don't really like being called a liberal, because my views are not quite all the way off to the edge of the spectrum -- but there are bigger things to quibble about, y'know?

Originally Posted by gailuvscats

There are a lot of conservatives on this site, that I would rather not have to acknowledge their existence, but hard as I try, they are still here.

Click to expand...

OUCH!!! I am very much a conservative person and I have to say that statement hurts.....like we don't "belong" here because we have different beliefs!!!! I've always felt "unaccepted" here and like I'm not "part of the in group"....and that statement just reaffirmed my feelings!

I think I'm a bit weird in that the people who annoy me the most are often the ones I find the most interesting to read. It's sort of like a train-wreck for me -- I can't take my eyes away, and I feel compelled to look for their posts just to see what bizarre opinions (IMO) they're going to state today. So, for that perverse enjoyment, I'd probably stick around even if the site drove me nuts; it gives me something to think about and it's good to learn others' opinions. And, as a writer, it definitely gives me insight into the way other peoples' minds work (or don't, in some cases ...).

On the other hand, if people are actually attacking you -- not your arguments, but you as a person -- I'd probably leave. It's one thing for me to make a point and have someone say "I disagree, and here's why ..." and another thing entirely for me to make a point and have someone say "I disagree, and I think you're a horrible person because I don't agree with you." Although, to be fair, I'd probably just think that person was an idiot who didn't understand the concept of "debate," but that's just me ...

I think if the positives of the forum outweigh the negatives, you should go back, but you shouldn't feel compelled to return just because people were wondering what happened to you. If not posting on that forum leaves a hole in your life, go back (or find something new to fill that hole, something with fewer negatives). I like the idea of culling negative people from your life; so much of our time is wasted dealing with negativity, and it ends up being so very, very draining. Good luck with your "purge!"

Originally Posted by SophieC

OUCH!!! I am very much a conservative person and I have to say that statement hurts.....like we don't "belong" here because we have different beliefs!!!! I've always felt "unaccepted" here and like I'm not "part of the in group"....and that statement just reaffirmed my feelings!

Click to expand...

Sophie - not everyone feels that way!! I am sorry you feel unaccepted. I'm not "part of the group" as well, but I do feel accepted. I hope that you can get that feeling as well.

Originally Posted by SophieC

OUCH!!! I am very much a conservative person and I have to say that statement hurts.....like we don't "belong" here because we have different beliefs!!!! I've always felt "unaccepted" here and like I'm not "part of the in group"....and that statement just reaffirmed my feelings!

Click to expand...

There have been threads on this, about cliques or groups on the site and how others feel left out. I think a lot of people agree that the longer you are here, the more you become part of everything. It makes sense that you become more well-known and then inside jokes happen, etc.

I like you here and appreciate your posts.

Originally Posted by Mirinae

I think I'm a bit weird in that the people who annoy me the most are often the ones I find the most interesting to read. It's sort of like a train-wreck for me -- I can't take my eyes away, and I feel compelled to look for their posts just to see what bizarre opinions (IMO) they're going to state today....

Click to expand...

So true!

Originally Posted by gailuvscats

I think my posting made it clear that there are some conservatives, on this site, that I prefer not to have interactions with.

The fact that you don't like the way things are expressed in the IMO, but had enough time to judge my comments as "shocking", speaks volumes.

Click to expand...

No, it says I was very surprised and upset by your comment. I didn't expect it from you, and I did feel it deserved a comment. I wouldn't read more into it than that. I am blunt, frank and ex. honest with my comments..and I am simply NOT comfortable with how folks handle themselves in the IMO lounge. Not sure what you think that tells you about me...

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

Pat & Alix -- conservative is a label these people apply to themselves, so I don't feel I'm insulting them by using it to clarify who I'm talking about. Actually, I don't really like being called a liberal, because my views are not quite all the way off to the edge of the spectrum -- but there are bigger things to quibble about, y'know?

Click to expand...

Exactly my point...that I hate labels

You know - I wouldn't even know what to label myself. I always think that labels are something that other people put on you. The only label I put on myself is "human" and as such I try to feel for anyone else out there who is "human" also and try not to judge.