I feel your pain, I myself have two kitties that could care less if I was there or not....well, as long as I'm there to turn on the bathroom sink faucet in the morning for a fresh drink.
But my boys too, casually roam my home....approaching me for affection rarely. 99% of the time I go find them and love on them, they don't much care for it, but they know once I get my lovins fix I'll let them go about their business, so they gracefully accept it these days. But as far as getting your kitty to be a lap cat.....I would get a handful of your cat's favorite treat and sit down on your couch (or where ever you'd like your kitty to be a lap cat at) and gradually shape her behavior. Shaping is where you reward her everytime she gets a step closer to doing what you want her to do. For example, everytime she comes a bit closer to you on the couch reward her with a treat, hand it to her if you can reach her, toss it to her if you cannot. Little by little she will get closer and closer until she is eventually in your lap. When she is in your lap make sure to reward her with lots of praise, attention, and treats. If you are consistant and follow this little routine everyday, pretty soon you should have her trained to hop right up in your lap for some lovins before you know it. The key is to reward the progress she makes each and everytime. I hope this helps and you have a lap kitty soon.....if not, sometimes their personalities just won't permit it, just like how not all of us humans are people persons, not all of our cats are either. I wish you the best though and will keep my fingers crossed for you.
Originally Posted by trudie
My last cat was very definitely a lap cat. After he passed away last year, I rescued a Maine Coon mix from a shelter. She's very sweet but just does not feel the need to sit in anyone's lap. In fact, she's usually in another part of the house altogether, all by herself. She eats, sleeps, poops and plays normally when she is in the same room with us. She will seek me out about once a week for a few minutes of attention, and that's it. I really miss a cat in my lap. Any suggestions? Thanks.